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Derai

Derai’s diary, dreams, dialog and discussions (oh my)

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Posted (edited)

Figured it’s about time I made myself a spot on these forums. 
Y’all can ask me about anything. 
 

First off a little about me I reckon. 
 

Name’s Derai. Often called ‘Dee’, ‘D’ or ‘Hey you’

In the game I’m a part time ‘DJ’ in the Radio DJ style. Don’t mix or pretend to mix my tunes. 
I pick the songs and let my software do the heavy lifting. 
 

Socially I’m... Hard to get close to in some ways. 
Been called Intimidating and a Blunt Narcissistic Bitch a lot. 
And they ain’t wrong. 
I love being in the middle of things, and tend to poke my nosy ass into situations I shouldn’t be in. 
 

On the sexual side I’m a Nudist Exhibitionist with a Primal Hunter Side. 
Been a Dom for some, tend to end up Topping a lot. But I’m a Switch in general. 
 

I tend to be very vocal in my dislikes and preferences. 
And my massive red flag is Non-Consent. 
I often get irrationally angry about mentions of Rape or anything that removes Free Will. 
Rationally I understand that it’s a kink for some to give up their consent. 
And that some have the kink to just Take whoever they want. 
But my irrational lizard brain just wants to rip the head of any Rapist and stuff their own entrails down their throats. They really, REALLY enrage me. 
 

Anyhow. As far as a preface goes, this’ll do for now. 
Again, want to know anything? Just ask.

Edited by Derai

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Reckon if you’re reading this, you’ve seen me post around the forums. 
As I said before, I’m rather vocal. 
I have strong beliefs about a wide range of topics but my main thing is Free Will. 
 

Everyone is free to do, say, and believe what they want. 
As long as those actions, statements or beliefs don’t infringe on the Free Will, or Right to Exist, of those around them. 
 

The ‘right to exist’ to me means that everyone has the absolute Right to Be. I don’t care what they Are, or Think they are. 
I myself am openly Bisexual IRL, and have (and had) a number of friends that go across the whole spectrum of Gender Identities, Sexual Preference and more. 

They range from a Scottish Draconic Otherkin, to a ‘plain’ homosexual couple that is also Catholic as hell (pun intended) and everything in between. 
 

My personal creed is that “You get what you Give”

Treat me (and mine) with Respect and you will gain respect in return. 

I will debate, discuss and argue with anyone about anything. 
And I will strongly fight for my ideas. But I am also capable of swallowing my pride to admit that I’m Wrong about some things. 
I will change my mind if someone presents me with another viewpoint. And managed to make me understand it. 
 

So yeah.

I ramble a lot. More later ^^

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Been active in a thread on here about Transgender Avatars, and keep getting annoyed with the gender politics discussions that spark from it.
I don't get why people see these issues, of gender, sexual orientation and such, as a Zero Sum Game.

Some of them seem to think that whenever another group Gains something, some more Rights, or Privileges. That the others gaining something, means they lose something.
As if there is a finite amount of 'Privilege' in the World, it's stupid...

Anyhow, the whole talking points made me remember a cool bit of music from a few years back though, so silver lining...
 

 

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Sometimes it really gets hard to stay calm on these forums. 
Or online in general. 
 

It gets hard to differentiate between people being dense, and belligerent. 
 

Hard to tell if someone just misunderstood your points because they truly didn’t Get it. Or if they willfully play stupid because whatever you said doesn’t fit their worldview. 
 

So often on here and in general you see this “It didn’t happen to me that way, so it can’t be ‘that bad’”

Or “I never saw that happen, so it doesn’t exist.”

It’s hard sometimes. 
But I’m not giving up. 
I can’t change anything, but I can stay the course and BE what I wish others could be. 
 

 

PS: Kinda hopped up on painkillers from a hospital procedure yesterday so excuse me for not making sense. 

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16 minutes ago, Derai said:

Sometimes it really gets hard to stay calm on these forums. 
Or online in general. 
 

It gets hard to differentiate between people being dense, and belligerent. 
 

Hard to tell if someone just misunderstood your points because they truly didn’t Get it. Or if they willfully play stupid because whatever you said doesn’t fit their worldview. 
 

So often on here and in general you see this “It didn’t happen to me that way, so it can’t be ‘that bad’”

Or “I never saw that happen, so it doesn’t exist.”

It’s hard sometimes. 
But I’m not giving up. 
I can’t change anything, but I can stay the course and BE what I wish others could be. 
 

 

PS: Kinda hopped up on painkillers from a hospital procedure yesterday so excuse me for not making sense. 

If there was a thumbs up option here, 16,239 coming your way.  I too struggle to understand.  We humans sure have a way to screw up a place, even utopia.  I am choosing to find the positive energy  and grabbing onto it.  Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Derai!  You are not alone.

Feel free to delete, since this is your thoughtful place.

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4 minutes ago, JackPine said:

If there was a thumbs up option here, 16,239 coming your way.  I too struggle to understand.  We humans sure have a way to screw up a place, even utopia.  I am choosing to find the positive energy  and grabbing onto it.  Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Derai!  You are not alone.

Feel free to delete, since this is your thoughtful place.

I welcome the replies, so not gonna delete yours ^^

And you're welcome!

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3 hours ago, Pandorra said:

I wish you a speedy recovery!

get-well-soon%5B1%5D.jpg

 

38 minutes ago, DustyWibbles said:

Wishing you a speedy recovery and if you can, enjoy any trip the painkillers give you ;) 

Get better soon 🙂
 

Thanks you two.
It was a 'simple' Dental procedure, my Dentist couldn't get to the molar that needed removing.
So got sent to the Hospital to have the Dental Surgeon have a go at it.
Feel like I took a Right Hook from Tyson, but I'm getting better. Thanks for the well wishes.

Painkillers are removing some of my filters though, losing my temper sooner now >.<

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Kinda funny how fast time goes sometimes. 
Just saw Jade break the news her group is almost at their 1 year anniversary. 
 

Makes me realize that I have been around this game for almost 3 years now. 
It still feels like only months have passed.  
 

This might sound vain, but at times like this. I do wonder what my impact has been. What impression I’m leaving behind. 
 

I think of myself as some random unknown. 
But then there’s things like yesterday. When someone pokes me in game. “A familiar Forum Name!” paraphrased. 
 

And I wonder, how ‘known’ am I really? 
Very narcissistic thing to think I reckon. But can’t deny it. 
I do love the limelight, and Heavens know that I’m ‘loud enough’ to be noticed. 
 

In the end I reckon it doesn’t really matter what people think of me. If I’ve managed to be a good person to just One, it’s all worth it. 
Make One person’s day a little better, brighten up their day with a compliment or a joke. 
Just start with one. And go from there. 
 

Heh... Another day. Another chance. 
 

Peace to whoever reads this. 

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Here’s a thought for y’all. 
 

People should learn to admit that it’s possible to Know someone, even Like someone, but Not be Friends with that someone. 
 

I think that’s a flaw in people today. They have diluted the concept of a ‘Friend’ making everyone they vaguely know into a ‘Friend’ but then feel ‘betrayed’ whenever these ‘Friends’ fade away. 
 

The concept of an acquaintance, someone you Know, should be in people’s minds more. 
I think that would prevent a lot of heartache and drama. 
If people could admit that not everyone they Know and Like, is their Friend. 
 

 

Personally I have a LOT of people that I know, or know off. 
But only a handful of Friends. 
 

I do have some people that I think of as an acquaintance. But they themselves see it as a deep true Friendship. 
It does get awkward in that regard at times. 
The disparity in ‘feelings’ can kill moods rather quickly. 
And the thing is. More often then not I’M the one getting blamed at the end. 
For being fake or ‘letting the Friendship die!’ 
While in reality those folks are just someone I met once and maybe fucked once or twice. 
 

Oh well.
Just a thought.  

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Another day, another discussion. 
 

Been trying to keep my nose out of the one thread that might spiral into a full blown political discussion or a race baiting flame war. 
 

But it’s hard. 
 

Thing is, people often ignore that Racism is real, and that you can be racist without realizing. 
For me personally I acknowledge that some things that I was raised with. Where racist. 
Jokes I told as a child, and was told by my elders. Are offensive as hell towards some groups. 

Now, currently the theme in the world seems to be that I should be ashamed and guilty about this. 
But I’m not. 
I rather just acknowledge that it was a thing, and then after identifying the Problem, go about fixing it. 
In this case by simply learning from my own past and not doing those things anymore. 
And not be afraid to point out the same mistakes in others if I see them make them. 
 

Just a thought.  

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30 minutes ago, Derai said:

Another day, another discussion. 
 

Been trying to keep my nose out of the one thread that might spiral into a full blown political discussion or a race baiting flame war. 
 

But it’s hard. 
 

Thing is, people often ignore that Racism is real, and that you can be racist without realizing. 
For me personally I acknowledge that some things that I was raised with. Where racist. 
Jokes I told as a child, and was told by my elders. Are offensive as hell towards some groups. 

Now, currently the theme in the world seems to be that I should be ashamed and guilty about this. 
But I’m not. 
I rather just acknowledge that it was a thing, and then after identifying the Problem, go about fixing it. 
In this case by simply learning from my own past and not doing those things anymore. 
And not be afraid to point out the same mistakes in others if I see them make them. 
 

Just a thought.  

Exactly.  No one should be damned because of the past.  It is the now and how we choose to react and live and treat one another going forward that will be the true measure  of progress. 

Racism is real and it exists in so many places and cultures.  Recognizing it and working to change it should be celebrated, and never ever shamed into something negative. 

WE ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER!

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Someone says, “Why do you try to change people’s minds. Why talk to those that will never change no matter what you do? Why bother?”

 

I don’t try to change their mind, I talk to them so they won’t change mine. Or think they did. 
And to set an example. 
To be the example that not everyone thinks like they do. 
Be the example for someone listening or reading me argue. 
Be an example for those unheard people, that no. Not everyone believes the things I argue against. 
No, they are not alone. 
Even if they never speak up, and I will never speak to them. 
I know they’re out there. And I will be heard. 
Others have been my example of this very thing. 
So I do the same. 
 

I’m not alone. 
And neither are you. 

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Posted (edited)

Words are our way to spark our ideas into being. 
The spark by which we enkindle the flame that is our self. 
But a flame has the potential to harm as well as warm a heart. 
Like a cozy fireplace left unattended can burn a house down, or a tranquil campfire can turn into a raging forest fire. 
So too can our words and ideas do the same. 
 

But this does not make our words and ideas evil. 
Fire isn’t evil. It just is. 
It’s the intent behind it that counts. 
 

A flame is very much the same as say a brick in this regard. 
A brick can be used to build up a house to keep someone safe. 
Or be thrown to cave in a skull. 
The brick, or the flame aren’t evil. 
Both just are. 
 

Ideas and words are the same. 
If so inclined the exact same words can be used to lift up, or put someone down.

But in this, the medium in which you place the words becomes important. 
Image the following. 
Two people say this exact sentence to you. 
“Oh wow, nice sweater.”

In text, both would read the same. 
While when spoken, the Tone can make it a compliment or an insult. 
It’s all in the intent behind the words. 
 

In this regard, talking about your ideas online. 
Is like sparking a campfire in a dry forest. 
It can be done safely. But it’s very easy to let a spark get out of control and burn down the area. 
 

 

Just a thought. 

Edited by Derai

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On 7/3/2020 at 8:09 AM, Derai said:

I tend to be very vocal in my dislikes and preferences. 
And my massive red flag is Non-Consent. 
I often get irrationally angry about mentions of Rape or anything that removes Free Will. 
Rationally I understand that it’s a kink for some to give up their consent. 
And that some have the kink to just Take whoever they want. 
But my irrational lizard brain just wants to rip the head of any Rapist and stuff their own entrails down their throats. They really, REALLY enrage me. 

I have had debates about this in the past. I think we can all agree that rape is wrong, that making anyone do anything against their will is wrong.

However, when it comes to 3DX, unless there is some hack, then non-consent in 3DX is not a thing, because you have accept an invitation to partner and pose. Maybe if someone blackmailed another person then they could force them to have sex, but if that happens, inform the developers and the authorities.

When it comes to rape rooms, they are against the rules and the rules should be enforced. Even if these rooms aren't shutdown, then people still consent to going to them. Does it promote rape or may it be emotionally distressing for someone who has been the victim of rape? I can see that point of view, but I feel the majority have common sense and morals that rape is wrong and if a room title makes them think that rape is actually okay, then they have other issues. Also, especially in an adult game, you are going to see some unsavoury things, so it is just best to ignore them.

Lastly, what people do in private rooms is entirely up to them. If two consenting adults want to roleplay a rape scene then let them have at it.

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1 minute ago, MidnightMist said:

I have had debates about this in the past. I think we can all agree that rape is wrong, that making anyone do anything against their will is wrong.

However, when it comes to 3DX, unless there is some hack, then non-consent in 3DX is not a thing, because you have accept an invitation to partner and pose. Maybe if someone blackmailed another person then they could force them to have sex, but if that happens, inform the developers and the authorities.

When it comes to rape rooms, they are against the rules and the rules should be enforced. Even if these rooms aren't shutdown, then people still consent to going to them. Does it promote rape or may it be emotionally distressing for someone who has been the victim of rape? I can see that point of view, but I feel the majority have common sense and morals that rape is wrong and if a room title makes them think that rape is actually okay, then they have other issues. Also, especially in an adult game, you are going to see some unsavoury things, so it is just best to ignore them.

Lastly, what people do in private rooms is entirely up to them. If two consenting adults want to roleplay a rape scene then let them have at it.

I agree with your points here. 
My point was that I recognize the irrational bias I have. 
 

As for Rape Rooms. I actually accepted that they are a thing. 
But I just don’t want the word dangled in my face. 
 

I have an example of what I mean. Of sorts. 
In the example it’s about BDSM, and let me say Clearly here. I do not in any way correlate that with Rape. But the situation in the example is similar. Bare with me. 
 

There was a story about a Retail Manager, barring a Dominant from his store. 
Said Dominant had his Submissive with him, on a dog leash. 
It had upset other shoppers and they complained to the manager. 
 

The argument from the Dom was “It’s consensual between us. And not harming anyone.”

The Manager argued that yes, between the Dom and Sub it’s consensual, but by doing it publicly like this, they made everyone else part of the scene. And the other shoppers had not consented to seeing that scene. 

This argument also applies to Room names in 3DX, in my opinion. 
By advertising it openly, you involve those that might not share that idea. 
Does that make sense?

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I can see what you are saying, but in the case of the retail store, that is private property. The store owner reserves the right to tell people to leave, because they will lose more customers than just trying to satisfy two individuals.

With a room that has Rape in the title, that was the room owners choice and people can choose to go there or not. In the store example, you would have to go to someone else's room and start roleplaying rape in local chat, then the room owner should ask them to leave if it makes other guests uncomfortable, ignoring and reporting them if necessary.

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Yes and no. I see myself in the other shoppers. Not the Manager. 
 

In this analogy, the 3DX developers are the Manager. 
And they have set the ruling that Rape in room names is a violation. 

There are rooms that cater to the Kink, without using the term. The Hunt and Fuck room for one. Blackmailed Bitches was another. 
These still imply the kink. But are not overt. 
 

To link this back to the store example. 
The Dominant could have looped the leash around his arm and just held his Submissives hand. Without removing the Leash or Collar. 
Nothing changes except the perception. 
A compromise yes?

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