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Derai’s diary, dreams, dialog and discussions (oh my)


Derai
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Almost Christmas, and I can’t wait. 
For it to be over and done with. 
 

I love that people like Christmas. 
Love how happy folks are. 
Like the decorations people come up with. 
 

But for every mention of curling up in front of the fireplace with a hot drink and a loved one. There is the knowledge that it’s cold and dark outside. 
 

For every mention of cherishing family and friends. There is the reminder about those who have been lost. 
 

Christmas cheer is bittersweet. 
We celebrate the light. But that reminds us of the dark. 
 

I much rather walk outside in the light and heat. 
Fireplaces and hot drinks are fun. 
But I much rather lounge in the warm sun. 
 

Oh well. Just a few more days. 
 

Be safe and Merry Christmas. 

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Many years ago my Mother once complained about the work that went into preparing the food for the lavish traditional Christmas dinner. 

Grandpa heard that and decided to get a catering service to do it instead. As he agreed that cooking for nearly 30 people was a bit much to ask. 

One year though it went wrong. Catering failed to deliver and out of desperation and by cashing in some favors we ended up having Christmas dinner at a local Chinese restaurant. 

The next year Grandpa just rented a few tables at the same restaurant and a new tradition was born. 

Decades went by and each Christmas the family gathered at a Chinese restaurant. 
The first restaurant went out of business but a new one was found. And another and another. 
The place changed but the tradition remained. 

Another thing that changed was the amount of seats needed. 
30 became 20, 20 became 10, 10 became 5. 

5 became 4. 
And at some point it’ll become 3 and then 2. Maybe even 1. 

Christmas dinner for me, is a happy time. But it comes with a profound sense of loss. 
A sense of longing for the times past. 
All the lights in the world can’t brighten the shadows cast by empty seats. 
No amount of cheerful music is going to replace the laughter of a full table. 
And yes. That table can be filled again with friends. Friendly faces and cheerful smiles. 
But I’ll always see those that sat there in years past. 
Maybe I’m stuck in that past. Maybe. 

I just miss it. Miss them. 
Christmas is a time for longing. 
Cherished memories of my loved ones. 

Making new memories with friends will never fully fill that hole. 
But it’ll do. 
I’ll be alright. 
I’m not alone. 

I have a world at my fingertips and hearts from beyond cherishing me. 
I cherish those connections and conversations. 
Doesn’t need to be Christmas for those, but they do help lighten the darker days. 

That is my Christmas spirit. And my wish to all of you. 
Find your lights. Cherish them. 
They won’t last forever but they will forever be with you.

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  • 3 months later...

Been a while since I felt like writing here. 
Feels like my life got put on pause for a bit. 
 

Seems like nothing has changed in 3DX either. 
Been around almost every day, and it’s just the same thing over and over. 
 

I log on because I feel a bit frisky or in need of a conversation. 
But in general when I go somewhere I just wander aimlessly, not finding anything to scratch that itch.

Exceptions do occur and when it’s good, it’s awesome. 
 

But in general it’s the same cycle, I log on, I wander, get bored, log off. 
Then a while later I get bored with whatever else I was doing and log back into 3DX. Rinse repeat…

Most of my regular friends seem to have wandered off, and I don’t blame them. 
Part of the problem is with me anyway, I just don’t have the energy to pick someone and bug them via PM. 
To afraid to interrupt them. 
 

Oh well, rant over. 
If anyone reads this, stay awesome. 

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When it comes to minds, I am out of my league when it comes to Dee! Awesome from the start, and always will be.  And please, bug away, I always have enjoyed your company!

I do agree that the forum here has largely become a broken record, at least for me.  A few bright, refreshing posts at times, but for the most part,  same old, same old.

Gone are the days it seems of input from devs, threads that started and have dozens of responses within hours, even the trolls that we all could rally together to go against are gone.

I am not sure the answer, but still happy.  Happy to call the owner of this thread, friend.

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3 hours ago, JackPine said:

When it comes to minds, I am out of my league when it comes to Dee! Awesome from the start, and always will be.  And please, bug away, I always have enjoyed your company!

I do agree that the forum here has largely become a broken record, at least for me.  A few bright, refreshing posts at times, but for the most part,  same old, same old.

Gone are the days it seems of input from devs, threads that started and have dozens of responses within hours, even the trolls that we all could rally together to go against are gone.

I am not sure the answer, but still happy.  Happy to call the owner of this thread, friend.

Heya Jack. 

While I was mostly talking about the game itself, I do agree with the thing about the forums here. 

I kinda gave up keeping up for now. 
Most threads are just retreading topics and issues that have been debated ad nauseam by now. 

Although maybe it’s just because we’re all old hands now and have no patience with newer players. 

I’ve noticed I’m kinda snippy with folks asking things on the 3DX Discord too. They mean well, but ask things that have been done to death many times over. 

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  • 3 weeks later...

Still here, still logging into 3DX daily. 

Reconnecting with people who faded away, and silently waving goodbye to those that are fading. 

It’s the cycle of life, a microcosm of real life stuck on fast forward. 
Things that take days, months or even years out here. Take only hours, days or weeks in 3DX. 

Frienships made, broken and rekindled over mere weeks. 
Deep connections forged in a few hours then left fallow in a few days. 
A quick fling taking only a lunch break, but brightening your life for days after. 
 

Life goes on. It’s great, it sucks. But its life. 
And life. 
Life goes on!

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  • 2 weeks later...
Posted (edited)

Lets regale y'all with a tale of why I find 3DX to be so goddamn engaging and FUN to walk around in.

Lately I've started to hang out at a place called the Masturbation Club, not quite for the activity the name suggests, but mostly because it tickling my voyeur and exhibitionist kink.
Had some lewd fun in there at times, but yesterday was special.

Scene is this, the Club has a rule about having to be naked (No wonder I like it eh?)
So I'm lounging about on a couch there, watching folks have their fun, idly scanning profiles when a dude pokes me about something in mine.
I check his profile and spot an interesting pic that seems kind of out of place in 3DX, namely a formation of Army helicopters in a field.

I comment on it and the conversation flows from there.
Long story short, at the end of it when the guy had to leave I realized I had just spent the better part of 2 hours, laying naked across a equally naked dude, discussing US Army Aviation...
You just can't make that up if you tried.

Situations like these, two people meeting in such a lewd setting and then ending up talking about mundane things.
That, is what gets me every time.
That, is what I love about 3DX.

Anyway, just a little anecdote to share with y'all.
Take care and stay awesome!

Edited by Derai
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6 minutes ago, Derai said:

Situations like these, two people meeting in such a lewd setting and then ending up talking about mundane things.


Yep, I can totally relate. Last time that happened, I ended up talking about DCS World and flight simulators with this girl (bear in mind that you won't find many female players who enjoy flight sims). That certainly was an interesting way of breaking the ice.

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