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Things you don't want to hear during sex


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As your kisses and licks travel slowly down her body, your tongue pausing, rimming her navel while your body and hands spread her legs.

She moans in delight as your face slides ever lower, your tongue leaving a glistening trail as it snakes ever closer to its prize.  Her hands tangled in your hair as she gasps, "Ooooo, goddd yesss, I hope you love cheese!"


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37 minutes ago, MikeyDee said:

You open your eyes from the bliss of ecstasy and see a wildlife documentary film crew and Sir David Attenborough.

“So as we can see, the male has successfully copulated with the female and the mating ritual... is a success” 

Oh if you think dogs kicking off can put off off your stride? Try being stared at by a perplexed cat  “Da fuck you doing bruh?” 

Why does your cat have my accent?

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