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a warning for a dangerous place


alisonn
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hi there 3dx !

 

what a wonderful place this is!

the graphics are so amazing, the people are nice.

what a fun game this is.

i'll play this for no more than an hour or 2 every week, maybe 3.

nothing special hahaha.

god this is a great way to escape life and relax!

 

.

i can't believe it's been a solid month of playing this.

maybe i should think of getting a year subscription, it's much cheaper.

i'm just going to do it, why not.

i'm enjoying myself anyway.

 

 

..

oh i'm so happy for the friends i've made here over the course of the past 3 months!

i never thought i would be here for this long but it's such an amazing place, I just love it.

the friends here are always in for a good laugh, and i love chatting with them and seeing them around.

 

 

...

these drama people everywhere​, I don't understand them or what they want.

such strange people, i think they should leave this place.

you keep telling them to leave but they say they can't....so dumb.

i guess some people just live to make a big drama story out of everything, even a virtual reality like this.

 

 

 

....

oh this guy i met is so fun!

i love him, oh god i do so much !!

we have eloped, and now that i'm happily married after 6 months of being here this place is heaven!

i don't come on the game often, but the 2 hours every day that i spend here really make me happy.

and this group i'm part of!

i love having a discord account to chat outside of 3dx to them!

fuuuuunnnnnn!!!! hahahaha

 

.....

i have so much free time now, i think i'll go hang out in 3dx some more.

i get to see my husband and love him and cuddle him and he can take me to bed and...oh the sex, so good.

i have found my little place in heaven i really have, and I can't believe it's already been 9 months.

 

 

......

my husband....my heart.

what on Earth happend, it was such fun.

he broke up with me, he got someone else ?

what a shitty reason....this huurts.

i better look for some comfort in my friends, that should get me back on my feet.

i'll be fine.

 

 

.......

oh this girl i met!

she's great, i love her!

my ex is such a loser, he can go off himself.

but where are my friends going by the way?

it feels like they're fading a little.

and what happened to my real life, why didn't i hear anything from those friends anymore.

luckily i have my discord and i can chat whenever i like.

my friends are really the best ever!

 

 

 

........

my girlfriend had someone​ in real life.

i feel so cheated but, it's just a game...right?

this place isn't real i have a life outside of this....i think

where are my friends?

how long have i been spending 6 hours every day here.

i can't believe it's ben a whole year.

 

.........

i'm so lonely...i feel so sad.

my life, where has it gone?

my real life friends have relationships, my online friends are fading and my online relationship is dead.

i have nothing....i'm so alone...help me.

what day is it... Wednesday...when did i go to college for the last time...what did i do then.

i came only to escape life...i guess i escaped.

 

..........

help me.

i feel so empty and alone.

watching what people have in real life, what i'm missing.

please help me...end this pain and lonelyness... or maybe i will....

 

 

 

 

be careful in your stay in 3dx.

a virtual reality is not a game, and it can make you lose your self and lose track of what's real and important.

 

if this is happening to you,don't think that you're​ the only one, because this is what happened to not only myself, but friends i have gotten to know as well.

 

this place doesn't have a warning sign, but it should have one that you can see evey time before you log in.

 

this place has made me depressed, brought me to tears, i picked up drinking from it and i won't lie, i have thoughts about suicide.

it's a virtual reality, and it not real but god damnit it feels so real some times.

because you can never forget, the place is digital, but the people behind the screen, are absolutely, 100% real.

 

be careful.

and if you even need to talk about something like this, send me a private message.

if you know people that have problems like this, you can always send them to me to talk.

maybe i can help them by sharing my own experiences.

 

stay out of trouble everyone!

and don't go down my path.

 

love,

alisonn.

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It's not that I don't have sympathy for you but it is just a game.

I am sure that smoking is a game, alcohol is a game, drug taking is a game, etc. when you start, at least.

It is all about how you play the game. And, in that regard, "the people behind the screen, are absolutely, 100% real" - you are not playing with the people behind the screen.

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Guest Harmony

It's not that I don't have sympathy for you but it is just a game.

I am sure that smoking is a game, alcohol is a game, drug taking is a game, etc. when you start, at least.

It is all about how you play the game. And, in that regard, "the people behind the screen, are absolutely, 100% real" - you are not playing with the people behind the screen.

Couldn’t disagree more.

 

Maybe for some people it is just a game. But for many others, it morphs into something much deeper.

 

Don’t downplay the feelings of those players for who it is more than a game simply because you happen to disagree.

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However, no matter what connotations anyone wants to put on it, it is still just a game. 

 

Yes, and all the world's a stage. But to say so explains nothing. Cliches obscure as much as they elucidate, and as far as 3DX is concerned, "It's just a game" is perhaps the single biggest cliche there is.

 

I agree that there are a lot of people who overinvest in 3DX. Those people do need to be cautioned against that and advised not to take the game so seriously. But there are also a lot of callous attention-seekers, who would benefit from being a bit more sensitive to how people are reacting to what they are doing.

 

It is not a one-size-fits-all situation, and sanctimonious repetition of the "it's only a game" mantra does not make it so.   

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Guest Harmony

Yes, and all the world's a stage. But to say so explains nothing. Cliches obscure as much as they elucidate, and as far as 3DX is concerned, "It's just a game" is perhaps the single biggest cliche there is.

 

I agree that there are a lot of people who overinvest in 3DX. Those people do need to be cautioned against that and advised not to take the game so seriously. But there are also a lot of callous attention-seekers, who would benefit from being a bit more sensitive to how people are reacting to what they are doing.

 

It is not a one-size-fits-all situation, and sanctimonious repetition of the "it's only a game" mantra does not make it so.   

 

The problem is that there are a lot of people for whom 3dx is some sort of solution to real life problems - understandable I know; I think when I joined I was seeking something that was missing from rl even though I denied it to myself for too long. But with that comes a vulnerability in a lot of people who are then invested in it far more than they perhaps ever realised was possible and this is when it ceases to be a game. Add in the game-players and mindfuckers who deliberately suck energy from these people, and you have a potentially disastrous outcome.

 

But what is the solution? Public health warning?! Ban those who abuse the vulnerabilities of others? Obviously, neither of these.

 

Maybe there isn't a solution.

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Games are always more than just games...Have you ever seen a fight during a poker party or else? Look at the behavior of hooligans...it's only sport. There are as many players as way of playing. If we are not hypocrite, all peoples are here for some personal reasons. Who can judge their motivations? Who can say "you must play this way and not another? Are there abusers here? Yes Are there very good peoples here, Yes again. This said, I will add enjoy your time here, enjoy the good peoples you met and ignore the other ones.

 

Is there a solution?

 

yes there is one behave with others as you want they behave with you. Respect the woman/man behind the keyboard. Avatars are pixels, peoples who use the keyboard are made with flesh and blood. Something or someone disgust you...flee or fuck the mind fuckers.../me smirks

 

A last thing: when you mix sex and feelings (yes feelings can appear here like in any social interaction) then you get an explosive cocktail that has to be handled with a lot of care.

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But what is the solution? Public health warning?! Ban those who abuse the vulnerabilities of others? Obviously, neither of these.

 

Well, probably there is no solution, because the problem exists for each new player who joins the game.

 

Something close to a health warning is necessary for newbies, yes. And I think maybe that is what Alison intended by starting this thread. It is an issue that is worth discussing from time to time, I think, because everyone needs to be aware that both perspectives exist and that misunderstandings can occur very easily when two people with opposing perspectives interact.

 

But to me, it is very much a "you say toe-may-toe and I say toe-mah-toe" kind of thing. 

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"It is a question of how each individual approaches the game."

 

Oh, so it is just a game. The problem is not that it is just a game but "how each individual approaches the game."

 

People get obsessed with things like Rubik's Cube, Sudoku, Chess, etc. and they get frustrated and they fight and they break things and they turn to drink and drugs and they lose jobs and friends and partners, etc. but they are still just games.

 

3DXChat is just a game. If there is any problem it is "how each individual approaches the game."

And, if you are approaching the game in a way that manifests problems for yourself, then "repetition of the 'it's only a game' mantra" can help :)

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It's like you're trying to get everyone to admit they are on their computers/devices interacting in a game. Okay, Cordelia, YOU GOT 'EM. THEY ARE PLAYING A VIDEO GAME. But guess what? That's not the fucking point.

 

The POINT is that in this GAME... people develop REAL LIFE feelings because we're not ROBOTS. There is no magic button to turn us off from eliciting real life emotions based off what happens in a game. "It's just a game", in your context, is the equivalent of saying "get over it". 

 

Great, next time you are upset that you and your bf/gf got into a fight, I hope whoever you vent to tells you "it's not like you're married, get over it". Next time you spill red wine on your white blouse in public and you ask your friend for help, I hope they respond with "it's just clothing".

 

These are insufficient answers, Cordelia. They're insufficient because we are compassionate, EMOTIONAL creatures.

 

Yeah, some people need to step back from the game and get some perspective. That's what alisonn is saying. Your posts are beside the point and honestly just muddying up a decent conversation for no damn reason.

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Guest Harmony

Cordelia is correct, its a game. If you allow yourself to get to wrapped up in it you need to reexamine yourself, not the game. The game and people in it can only hurt you if you let it. When you use it as a dating site or whatever, shit can happen .

At the end of the day if this game makes you upset or worse when you sign out for the day, its time to make some changes and take control of your life and seperate real life from fantasy.

This is just my opinion of course so take it with a grain of salt

That’s all very well in a perfect world BUT a lot of ppl who face problems with 3dx are VULNERABLE, so it’s not necessarily a case of “allowing” oneself to get wrapped up in it. And neither does everyone have the ability to just sign out because they don’t realise what damage is being done.

 

It must be nice to live in a world where everything is so black and white.

 

Wow whatever happened to compassion and empathy...

 

Sorry Rob but your post has really fucked me off.

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Guest Harmony

Actually you know NOTHING of what convos I’m having in private with the OP so you can put your judgemental hat back in the cupboard.

 

Anyway, I wasn’t referring to any one person here and definitely not the OP. I was making a general point. But a long time ago someone said to me in 3dx “Do you realise how many people who are playing this game have mental health issues?” and then proceeded to run off a whole list of players with autism, ADHD, bipolar, depression, social anxiety and so on. People don’t just “choose to muddy it up”, that’s an incredibly insensitive thing to suggest. People who have mental health issues in life cannot exercise reason and logical thought and before you accuse me of not knowing, I’ve been there so I know.

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Guest Harmony

one could argue that if you have mental issues, sex games on the internet might not be the best thing for you.

 

Agreed but many ppl join 3dx not knowing what the effect is potentially going to be. It seems like an escape from reality or a solution to rl problems and they don’t see what is coming, because they can’t possibly know.

 

I was really grateful for your support on the rape room thread, but on this issue Rob I just can’t believe the lack of sensitivity.

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Guest Harmony

im sorry but i have none. unlike rape people are putting themselves in a position to get hurt. This game is full of smoke and mirrors, everyone knows that. alot phony shit going on. if you decide to take that chance and you get burned, you put your own self in that position. sorry but thats fact.

 

I’m gonna say nothing else as this could drag out. I’m sure ppl will form their own judgements about us both from our differing sides of the argument.

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The problem is that there are a lot of people for whom 3dx is some sort of solution to real life problems - understandable I know; I think when I joined I was seeking something that was missing from rl even though I denied it to myself for too long. But with that comes a vulnerability in a lot of people who are then invested in it far more than they perhaps ever realised was possible and this is when it ceases to be a game. Add in the game-players and mindfuckers who deliberately suck energy from these people, and you have a potentially disastrous outcome.

 

But what is the solution? Public health warning?! Ban those who abuse the vulnerabilities of others? Obviously, neither of these.

 

Maybe there isn't a solution.

 

It just comes back to treating people like you would in rl, yeah. But then there's enough people don't get that rl so maybe that's nothing more than a pious hope.

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Harmony, hun, you're so right to go in strong. Like so many times you just hope that people realise that there is human being behind the pixels. You're right in saying that many on-line games players don't recognise this. The people who cause problems are those who will use the fact that somebody is having a hard time and go for the jugular. I'm not so sure Rob is the one to lock horns with 'cos we do know he's a total pussycat really. Like most men in 3dx he will try to understand and try to behave in a sensible manner. He prolly screws up just as much as anybody else, though. Having said that he might be a total arse, we can only go on what he says here. I've never spoken to him in game so really don't know. We know he's a pillock, although how he works out I'm a wanker is kinda beyond me atm.

 

Cordelia is also right in saying that you do need a pretty thick skin in on-line worlds. Looking at her posts I can see she's worked hard to develop a strategy that confronts peoples' prejudices without them taking offense. /me is alwasy prepred to give Cordelia a listen.

 

Many people haven't. or their skin is only so thick. There is a critical mass of crap any one person should have to take. It doesn't matter one iota if they've got issues or anything else, although it makes it worse if people continue to be awful to people who do, if you're just basically as decent as you can be then there wouldn't be so much stress about coming in game.

 

I think there's a big difference between banter and trolling. Trolls will try and use the 'it's only banter' argument to avoid being taken to account for their trolling.

 

So what am I saying here, yeah it's something that quite gets me going, lmao. OK it's quite simple really. If people tried to behave with basic decency and consideration we'd do OK, we might actually learn something from each other. In 3dx there does seem to be a problem that from time to time particular trolls get into the ascendacy, cause a lot of grief, and, if the moderators do deal with it, they reappear in a different account and start again.

 

What's the solution? I'm not sure there is one but for me it's the fact I have great friends in game, who will always support me. OK they tell me if I'm being an idiot but then that's what friends do, yeah.

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seems a lot of people agreed, and a a few don't.

this is my 2 cents on the matter. 

 

there are games out there that cause heat to fling around like shit hitting a fan in the literal sense. 

anger, games breaking, houses breaking, people hitting themselves, "fuck you and fuck your mother i hope you get cancer omgomgomg !!!" 

 

3dx could be listed under "games" yes, and you can treat it like one. 

but the same goes for gambling,yet there are clinics, rehab centers, etc. for gambling addiction.

though gambling is a collective name for all the games you play. (poker, roulette, black jack,etc)

so just as simple as that, 3dx can be listed under "virtual reality". 

 

games have goals, and things to do to reach that goal. 

in call of duty, you shoot people and get points for it.

in world of warcraft you train and get better and defeat bosses etc.

in 3dx you don't have a goal, only things you desire. 

and the way to achieve these things is to socialize, interact, and to become close to each other, to keep doing it.

whether you want to or not, you must interact with people to gain something from them...which in 3dx, is intimacy. 

 

that way, people can get emotionally affected very quickly.

and for some people it's hard to let that go because they can express themselves better here, because there are no true consequences for your actions.

and the love and care and so on you gain from your friends, for some people, is something they have missed for their whole life. 

so when you get such a thing from a virtual reality, or "game", it keeps you hooked, because it releases dopamine in your brain, just as much as smoking, drugs, and alcohol do. (this is a fact) 

 

the story i have posted, is not a thing that happened to myself, but i have similarities..a lot of them, including suicide and lonelyness 

a simple thing that caused trouble for me that i needed to find out for myself, was a lack of a father, moving countries twice, not ever being able to keep a group of friends more than a year, and never truly finding someone that loved me (girlfriend/boyfriend). 

when you gain those things from a "game", it suddenly turns in to something that holds much more meaning, so from that perspective, 3dx isn't a game. 

 

in the literal sense, yes, it is a (only) a game. but in reality, it's a platform and a place. it's a digital world with no goals but lust and fulfilling desires. 

you don't "play" 3dx. you live in 3dx. because you're trying to be you, and that way gain something you crave. and you gain it from the minds of other people...real flesh and blood behind the other screen.

 

so, to summarize.

3dx isn't a game, it's place...almost like a digital "location" 

you live in 3dx and you fulfill your desires. 

and when your desires are to have friends or be loved, than getting stuck is quite easily.

you don't have to be mentally unstable to get trapped like that. 

just being shown something of a dream you had, is enough to trap you.

i know i am mentally not stable anymore, and 3dx helped to cause my hell.

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I think the 'game' is great for some who have no other recourse, I have a long-time friend that uses sex games (and porn) to relieve herself because she is so unattractive (Burn scars and deformity) she would never get anyone to fuck her (male of female). To her this game (and others) are a unique form of masturbation she would otherwise not have. I myself have never been in the 3DX game, but my wife was for a short period. I think its great for those of us that can't have intimate relations in reality, I do agree if you take it to far you can get physiologically hurt pretty bad..that pretty much up to the user.

 

Its like drug addiction, you can stop and get help, but some people would rather have the fantasy than real life. Sad really..

If something happened to my wife (death etc) I know full well I would follow her into non-existence (we don't believe in an 'afterlife'). Some things are to hard to bare.

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Just talk around instead of chatting and showing off in the WC or the LC... there you will meet real peoples. From this moment, you know that for a lot of peoples, it is much more than a game. Is it good, Is it bad? I don't have the answer, I am not a judge. It is a fact that you have to deal with...Btw, a lack of empathy cripples you here and in real life. 

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What I think is that its a game, but that doesn't mean that people have an excuse to lie or lead people on or do other things which are hurtful. Really games are suppose to have rules that people follow. Also, just because its a game doesn't mean doesn't mean you cant make real connections and friendships here. At the sometime way to many people seem to think this is a replacement for RL its not...

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