The team at 3DX have made it very clear that they want to keep the platform as user friendly as possible and that conflicts with what some users want(see second-life if you want an example of too much end user input).
As soon as you go down this path, you're opening up an area that is so contentious with dozens of variables.
From the platform point of view there are 2 separate issues, one is what you identify as and the other is the poses.
I feel when you're making your character, there should be Female, Male and Other with an area for you to write what you identify as. Sure some will be silly as identify as a toaster or some such nonsense but for all the others that care, they will be catered to. Their name at the top of the profile can be green or grey, whatever, that is not important, the distinction is. Along with this change, a little more flexibility in the character builder so people can better reflect who they are.
Poses, I would like to see a wholistic approach to this as there's a lot of issues that need to be addressed.
I would dearly love to be able to choose where you are in a FF, MM and 3some instead of being like a lottery. If your a dominant and what to be in specific places within the couple or group, you need to be able to select that prior to the pose starting. Same if you are a submissive and want to offer your partner a pose, it would be wonderful to have that control within the GUI.
MFF is an abomination the way it is now but I am unsure how to make it right, with only idea coming to mind is making it so all 3 have to agree before the pose activates. I highly doubt they would do it but Id love if they separated the dick poses completely so you just didn't have to deal with them at all if you're not interested in them.. It would make the whole experience so much smoother for all involved.