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Oshun

How are pets better than slaves...? Not trolling, serious question...

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I am an SM dominant which is not a dom at all. S stand for sadist which is not the same as a dom...however you may be surprised that MAYBE one in twenty people know what SM is.

 

When I came to 3DX there were a number of terms I had never heard of, such as pet and little ones. They're just D/s terms for subbies that need to be handled with kid gloves; sugar coated terms. However, if you sit at your mistress's feet, you do as she tells you to, you are loyal to only her, you're the same as the slave that's sitting on the floor besides you. Besides, how is pet better than slave...?

 

If I say, "come to me dog...?" that is better for you than, "crawl to your master, slave...!"

 

I mean yeah, seems like I'm just being mean and difficult, but honestly, I'm not. How is it that you find being a pet superior to being a slave...?

 

Do you know how rl master slave relationships work...? I think you just think pet sounds sweet and you like it better than slave, but, you're not educated in this relationship at all in reality. A slave is 100% devoted to their master and will do anything to please their master.

 

If the master says, "you will not eat for a week and never again shall you walk but rather you shall crawl, lest I give you the command to rise to your two feet" the slave will happily follow these commands.

 

What is a pet by comparison...? You sit beside your mistress and don't fuck other people...? You prove your loyalty by wearing a collar...?

 

I'm not trolling, I legitimately want to understand how 3DX subs and even doms hink it's better to be a pet than it is to be a slave...that is not the correct thought process. It's not lesser, a slave is devoted and willing. The slave requires the master's total dominance, not mercy or respect. If you don't understand that, dominance is a fantasy for you, it's not your reality.   

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Well, first of all, I agree with some of the things you say about SM not being the same as D/s, and that a lot of people on 3DX don't understand the difference or even know what they are doing.  But I find manner in which you've framed your question to be problematic. It is not a question of better or worse. It is a question of what the two people involved are comfortable with.

 

If you feel that building trust and showing concern for your sub is somehow coddling them, then yeah D/s is not for you, just as SM is not for me.

 

So, in my opinion, the answer to your question is: You can't compare apples to oranges.

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The way you have worded this is a little problematic and at times hints at elitism. A suggestion that people are not doing things "properly", for example....

 

 

 I think you just think pet sounds sweet and you like it better than slave, but, you're not educated in this relationship at all in reality.

 

But... each has their levels.... what they want... what they need... what they can accept. If it works for them... does it matter really what labels they use? And who is say that it is "proper"... and does it actually matter if it is... or it isn't... as long as all get what they need.

 

 

But... to take your question at face value I'll try to give you an example of why I use these terms in my own D/s relationships. I should add I'm not a sadist. I take no pleasure in harming people and I would never describe my relationships as SM. I am, however, sexually, and naturally dominant.

 

I pride myself on not being a selfish person.... being caring... kind... considerate... protective and I don't believe it makes me less of a Domme. In my belief system, a Mistress has a duty of care to her submissive.

 

So... the difference in terms.... a slave implies... you don't care.... they have no value.

 

A pet implies.... you do.... you look after them, that you are not only dominant, but also protective. That there is a more caring and nurturing part of the relationship. How they are feeling matters. I might ignore it... but I know it... and it matters, in the same way you ignore your cats protests when you take them to vets, but it still touches your heart to hear them protest.

 

I would say a pet has ceded responsibility to her mistress out of love. That love is the basis of that relationship. That the relationship itself is more guiding, kinder, and punishments never meted out because the dom takes pleasure in that, but because the dom is trying to look out for their pet's best interests.

 

In addition... I would say that communication is vital in that sort of relationship. That the Mistress should understand her pet. It doesn't mean exclusively cater for their wants, it means... at least know what they are, in order to protect, to guide, and to love. That a pet should be able to communicate back about her needs too.

 

Lastly, I'd add that in general a pet would have a greater degree on independance than a slave. You call your dog and expect them to come running, but you trust them other times to act on their own.

 

 

Really... I'm not trying to fit into some category and I don't care about any rule book or other persons idea of what this sort of relationship should look like. I'm trying to be dominant in a way that allows me to like what I see in the mirror.

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Guest R!ck
Sometimes I lie awake at night and think about it ...

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I should start of by saying that I'm still quite new to D/s (something just over  a year) although I've been interested for much longer. And if I'm reading things correctly, all so far who have posted in this thread are Doms, so I will take the opportunity to give the view from the other side  :D

 

I have only ever had one Mistress, who was first a friend and is now my in game wife. And because I was new to D/s and BDSM, we had some long discussions about what it meant and what we both wanted out of it. Neither of us are into the pain side of BDSM. My Domme is not into inflicting pain, and I don't really find it a turn on, beyond maybe some playful spanking.

 

So am I my Domme's pet or slave?

 

I'm neither...I'm her sub. :P

 

When I first started down this path, I did some research, and while I would not claim it was exhaustive, I quickly came to one conclusion: every D/s relationship is different!

 

As a result there is no "one size fits all" term that can be used to describe the submissive in a relationship. It is down to those in the relationship to come to an agreement as to what is right for their relationship.

 

Of course there is always going to be a difference between virtual and real life relationships, but both involve real people, with real feelings and emotions.

 

And as a final thought, some here who enter a D/s relationship (me), chose to do it in the virtual world to find out if it is really for them. 3DX offers a safe environment to test your own boundaries with less risk than the real world.

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As the previous speakers did say: There is not "right" or "wrong" or "proper", there is mutual agreement to whatever people decide to live together, there is just individuality.

 

So I am not sure if I (<--) know "what the proper" BDSM is, but I know what kind of BDSM I (<---) "like and need".

 

Greetings, meilyn  :)

 

Edit: 

And as a final thought, some here who enter a D/s relationship (me), chose to do it in the virtual world to find out if it is really for them. 3DX offers a safe environment to test your own boundaries with less risk than the real world.

And that is also a so very true word. I recently ran into a person who blamed many subs here that they are traitors because the are not "really" or not "real" (what is really and real and who has the right to define?) subs but role play and test around instead here in 3dx.

I could have not answered more well as you said in your red sentence. ( hi missy *waves* )

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Everyone has said what I could have said in response to your thread and probably a lot better than me... so I will just add this: Are you one of the hundreds of alt of that dude who can't help coming on the forums and shove down our throat his almighty views on any topics? Why do you even think that your point of view should apply to anyone? Oh, I will repeat one thing that seems to be the consensus here: All relationships are unique, there is no D/s for dummies that can apply here as with any other kind of relationships in life.

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Personal preference is they keyword here, everyone has their own view of BDSM even if I believe no one here (Including myself) has a real grasp of it. Most people who are into bondage can't even make a proper knot for example. For me having a pet would seem nicer than a slave since I like people to think for themselves. We're free humans after all so I don't want someone to obey me 100%, that's nonsense. It's more whatever works best for you really

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