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Epi's beginners guide


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So... I've recently found myself helping out a lot of new players, and, I was thinking it might be helpful to condense all I've been saying into a handy post, partly because I'm lazy (I can point people to it, rather than explaining some things all the time), and partly because I think it might be genuinely helpful to some people. If anyone thinks I've missed anything, or I'm wrong, or I'm an idiot, please feel free to comment below and I'll update the guide as needed.



Starting out


These are the fundamentals of getting started in this wonderful world and a few things to consider when choosing your name and details of your character. A lot of people will tell you that 3dxChat is a sex game but don't take that assessment as definite. 3DXChat is really a sandbox game in a semi-open–world setting with explicit content that enables players to interact both socially and sexually. Yes, it is important to remember that a lot of people play 3DXChat as if it were “just a sex game,” but also bear in mind that there are many members of the 3DX community for whom sex is not the only or even the main objective.


Pick and name, and gender.

  • You cannot edit the name of your avatar after you create it, so take some time to think about what your name will say about you. Particularly if you are thinking along the lines of something like "sexlovingwhore69" or "analprober" or any other name that emphasizes a particular sexual practice. In general, the first thing that other players will learn about you is your name, and there are many who will make a decision about whether they want to get to know you or not from your name and your profile, without ever having spoken to you directly. Pick your name thinking about what it says about you or you may miss out on chances to get to know some great people.
  • Here are some ideas for coming up with an interesting name. Chose a word that describes something about yourself that you like or something you want to emulate. Abstract concepts (Clarity, Silence, Honesty), animals (Vixen, Lynx, Stallion), plants (Cactus, Shrub, Tumbleweed), references to popular culture (Superman, WonderWoman, Minion), actions (Caress, Kiss, Twist), and adjectives (Simple, Sweet, Sexy) are all common elements of names. If you are desperate there are also baby name lists on the internet for both genders.
  • If the name you want is already taken, there are many little tricks you use. Combine two or more elements to make a unique name (LoudlySilent, RoseThorn, CaressMe). Or try adding numbers, symbols, or letters to either the front or back (xXJohnXx, Sally2017, @Home). As the membership grows, simple names are harder to come by, so try to be flexible and creative in designing a name.
  • I'm not going to comment on gender, there are lots of reasons for playing as the opposite of your own gender, and lots of reasons for not. Play how you need to, but be aware the choice you make may have ramifications later. Some people object to discovering your gender does not match your biological one. If this troubles your conscience you might wish to add a comment when you fill in your profile to this effect in order to avoid emotional stress for others later.


Fill in your profile.

Profiles matter a lot. Yes, there are a few players who don’t read profiles at all and make decisions based on the appearance of other avatars. But many experienced players like to learn at least a little bit about another player before they spend too much time chatting. There are even those who will refuse to respond to players with blank profiles. “I love 3dx Chat” is not going to cut it.


To start with, click the Edit Profile button to access the text input fields for your profile.


Age: Input an age from 18 to 99. The minimum age is 18 for legal reasons. Many in the community are uncomfortable with age play, so roleplay an underage player at your own risk. More than a few players enter 99 to imply that age in unimportant. That is fine, but be forewarned that there are a lot of guys who seem to think that “You don’t look a day over 96” or some similar comment is funny. It goes without saying that many players do not put their real age in their profile, so take what you see with a grain of salt.

Interested in: This is where you can indicate your sexual orientation. If you don’t check either box, this field will display a question mark, which could mean either that you don’t care about sexual orientation or that you are open to suggestion.

Location: Many players put a country, a city, or a time zone here. Others just put things like “With my girlfriend” or “In my s/o’s heart.”  If you are looking to make friends, a city or time zone will tell people what time of day you are most likely to be online, which is often appreciated.

About me: So, this is where you can write anything you want about yourself, and, no, it is not easy to come up with a snazzy profile when you are first starting out. But try to put something that will give people an indication of what your interests are.

  • Don't feel forced to be clever. Perhaps something clever and witty will come to you later, but even if it doesn’t, something simple and friendly is better than nothing.
  • Describe yourself. What sort of person are you? What do you like? Which of your traits do you think make you attractive and interesting?
  • Put sexual preferences. What do you like? What do you not like? What sort of person are you interested in as a partner? Be open, honest. Most people aren't going to judge you because you said you like rimming, and you might find others who like the same. In the end, if you don’t say what your interests are, it will be that much harder to meet someone who shares them.
  • Put other preferences. Are you interested in a relationship? Love? Hanging out? Music? Sex? All important stuff.
  • Read other people’s profiles to get ideas, too. See what they write. Don't steal directly, but get ideas you can use in your own profile.
  • Once you have a basic framework in place, your profile will evolve over time. Don't worry about that. See what works, what doesn't. See what assumptions people make about you. Your profile will evolve organically over time.
  • It could be helpful to put details about the languages you speak, and your timezone.

Sculpt your figure.

One nice thing about 3DX is that you can change your avatar’s appearance as much as you want. So spend some time working out what you want to wear and how you want your avatar to look. Unfortunately, there is only a little scope for personalization here, so make the most of the options for body, head, and clothing. And yes, an avatar in a nice outfit will get noticed more that those that don’t stand out at all.


Your Gallery

The internet is full of images. Find some that convey the image you want to project and add them to your gallery.
• One quirk of the game code is that you cannot add images if the file extension is in capital letters. Be aware that “Mypic.jpg” will upload with no problem, but “Mypic.JPG” will not upload at all.
• If you are male, pics of your penis might impress some people but probably not that many. If you are female, nude pics will probably give the impression either that you found the pics online or that you are a jilted male, using this site to give out revenge porn of your ex. Very few players here openly share pics of themselves or video chat with other players here. There are some who do, but by and large, most people do not, and they will regard real pics in profiles with suspicion.
• You can up a pic of your real face or some other pic that could be used to identify you if you really want to. But why would you want to? Not everyone that plays 3DX is a nice person.


Wandering in the 3d world.

Now you have gotten started, you are finding yourself wandering the world. Wondering what to do, and how to start. Here are my tips:

  • Do the tutorials. Run through them all. They don't take long and they explain the basic functionality.
  • Explore the public places. See what there is to see, what kind of music there is, what kind of things you can do, and who hangs out there.
  • You sometimes have to wait for a room to load fully, but step forward, out of the landing zone as soon as you can. It can be annoying when someone is hogging the landing spot. Take a step in any direction, and then wait and definitely do not sit, dance, cuddle, or have sex in the landing zone. 
  • Engaging in local chat or in world chat is a good way to make friends. Be friendly, but don’t expect everyone to drop what they are doing just to respond to you. If you don’t get any response, be patient and remember that even if people don’t respond right away, they will take note of your attitude. So look at is as an opportunity to show that you are capable of holding a civil conversation. Note: World Chat in particular but even Local Chat at times can be the stage for drama. So read before you write there. If it looks like there is some drama happening, it might be best to wait until it quiets down.
  • Learn how to roleplay using the /me command. If you type "/me " (including the space) and then describe an action, it will be displayed in pink text with your name as the subject of the sentence. In other words, typing "/me waves" would be displayed in pink text as "Epithany waves"
  • Any time someone is rude to you, sends you cold invites, or otherwise wastes your time, feel free to use the Ignore command to avoid them. Left click on their avatar or right click on anything they wrote in a chat window to open their context menu, and then click the Ignore command, which is the second line from the bottom of the context menu. The Ignore dialog box gives three options: Delete from Ignore List, Ignore Messages & Invites Only (which means you can still see their avi), or Complete Ignore (which means you can’t see their avi and they can’t see you either). You can edit your Ignore list at any time. It appears on the left hand side of your profile, underneath your Friend list.
  • Starting a conversation can sometimes be a little tricky. But please bear in mind that some people, especially women, get about 1000 "hy how ru" messages a day. So if you would like a response when you say hi to someone, it might help to be a little more inventive and to try something that engages the other person’s interests. Read their profile to see if you have some common interests. And even if you don’t have sex, you might make a friend.

Basic Etiquette

A few things that might help you understand why people are blocking you:

  • In general, cold invites are a bad idea. “Cold invite” refers to any use of the Invite, Partner, Slowdance, Cuddle, or even the Add to Friends command without having the courtesy to speak to the person first. There are players who will accept cold invites, depending on the situation. But in general, most players dislike cold invites and will block anyone who colds them. The vast majority of players find cold invites to be anything from rude to deeply offensive. The only exception is in a user room labelled "Colds Ok". No one should block you for that, but it's still more polite to at least say "hi" first.
  • Read profiles before chatting with or offering sex. In other words, try to work out what sort of person you are about to interact with, use that to find topics of mutual interest, and then gauge whether or not they are interested in you sexually.
  • Bear in mind that public nudity and even public sex is common here and does not imply that others are welcome to join in uninvited. If you don’t understand this already, then I really need to warn you that you are going to have a hard time making friends on 3DX. And please, never masturbate uninvited over another player or couple, whether they are having sex or not.
  • Be sure to check a person’s sexual orientation before offering them sex. It is written at the top of their profile.
  • Many people do not like it if you stand too close to them. So it’s a good idea to respect people’s personal space.

Sexual Etiquette

  • Ask beforehand if you want to try something exotic. If you just assume and you are wrong, at best, your partner will go through with it but never sleep with you again. At worst, they will block you and spend 20 minutes critiquing your performance and your sexuality. (As I myself did once, when a guy called me a slut during sex). Not all women are submissive nor do they all like being called a slut, a bitch, or other names. Taking the time to think about these things will go a long way toward improving yours and others experience.
  • Interact with your partner as much as possible. Read what they write and respond to it. There are many different styles of erotic roleplaying (eRP). Some people write short sentences. Some write long paragraphs. But one difference between eRP and writing erotic fiction is that you need to interact with your partner to make it interesting.
  • Many people write in great detail what they are doing and what they are feeling. That is great if you have good typing skills and can churn out text quickly. But if it takes 20 minutes to write a reply, then it might be better to focus your attention on your partner and write shorter replies. Cybersex is all about interaction and steady feedback is important to keeping things flowing smoothly.
  • Try to understand your partner’s tastes better before you play. And think about whether they match well or not with yours. Interact on that basis and you will both have a lovely experience. On the other hand, unless there are special circumstances, ignoring your partner’s needs will not enhance their enjoyment of the experience.
  • There are a great many 3DX players who play as transgender. If you are uncomfortable playing with transgender/transsexual players, you should state so clearly in your profile. Most indicate their sexuality in their profile. Again, if this is an issue for you, you should ask before you play. During sex is the wrong time to get angry about it, especially if it was there in her profile right from the start.
  • If you feel uncomfortable or unhappy, it's ok to stop and explain and to talk about your feelings with your partner. This is especially true if you are submissive. If your partner is a worthwhile human being, they will try to understand your feelings, and hopefully it will improve your experience together. If they refuse to stop, regardless of whether they are dominant or not then do not be scared to stop it yourself and ignore them.
  • To a dom, it is an insult to suggest that they might like "help training their sub". They don't.
Edited by Epi
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Ahh, and everyone is kind of different. I'll more likely respond to something witty, but, alas, not everyone is like me.


I will think hard how to extend what I wrote on that. I had more ideas about putting something along the lines of... don't blame yourself if you do not get an answer because sometimes it's time of day or the person had just run the gauntlets of colds.... but I could not phrase it quite right.... so... I will think on it.

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Thank you for that amazing guide Epi. It helps me (and I am sure other newbies too) a lot through the first baby-steps in this new world.


I will also say thank you for the people who took me by the hand the last 2 days and helped me finding my way i would be lost without them <3


Now i need to work on my Forum profile as well and i hope i can find some good friends in the game:)

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I always respond to 'hi' or whatever people say. Colds don't bother me, though I don't accept! And I never use ignore button.


You don't need to, they always beat you to it - hmmm can't think who I'm thinking of... lol.

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Also pleeease don't start a convo with 'hi how are you?' / 'hi hru?' / 'What's up?' or even worse 'Sup??' (Personally I hate the last two with a passion).


Also a university thesis in pink about 'spotting me across the crowded dance floor' followed by some nonsensical shite about my figure/ posture or whatever also pisses me off.


Don't offer to buy someone a drink cos you can't. It's not real.


Asking where someone comes from when it's written in the profile shows ignorance or laziness.


Other than that - I'm quite easy to please really :D

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ok i know, after 2 days in the game i shouldn't judge too much but wouldn't it be good to make a guide for the world chat and forum too? I see so much hate and Drama's there. People said "Hello" in world chat, Newbies asked questions. No one tried to help nor even answered because of their Drama's. I said Merry Christmas twice and became no answer only after i told them that i was wondering about their fights i get  called a retard. really nice. gladly i found 2-3 nice people who talked normal to me and one was a newbie like i am. 


Please think about how much you pay and others too for having fun and is it worth it to spend it on that shit for hours?


Merry Christmas all <3

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agreed, very well written.


One thing maybe that should be mentioned as well, is the use of the ignore button. Because many of my female partners have complained about never ending colds, regardless of what they tried to do against it.


Ignores are simple and they can easily be undone as well (so that newbies are not locked out eternally).

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ok i know, after 2 days in the game i shouldn't judge too much but wouldn't it be good to make a guide for the world chat and forum too? I see so much hate and Drama's there. People said "Hello" in world chat, Newbies asked questions. No one tried to help nor even answered because of their Drama's. I said Merry Christmas twice and became no answer only after i told them that i was wondering about their fights i get  called a retard. really nice. gladly i found 2-3 nice people who talked normal to me and one was a newbie like i am. 


Please think about how much you pay and others too for having fun and is it worth it to spend it on that shit for hours?


Merry Christmas all <3

i have to correct myself. Today i asked again for help in world chat and the people at this time were so nice and helpful. They gave me a lot of hints and tips and were patient with me and my questions. They took the time to bring me closer in this wonderful community and i promise i will be here for every new person to help them, never forget how hard it is finding stuff out by myself. Thanks!

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Added some comments on ignores, and on checking there is no drama in world or local chat, so people can be a little more wary before they dive in there.


I'm glad you found helpful people on your second try Ron. People are mostly nice here, honestly!

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This is a link I love to provide every newbie I meet :).

However the pm approach seems to be tricky, if I read alle the contributions above I could believe you never can get it right :P.

Why not a 'Hi' in the beginning, this is at least more polite than 'Mmmh, you're sexy' or 'Wanna have some fun?', and there might follow anything. My personal preference though is an active contribution in local chat before starting to pm, but still there might be some exceptions.

In the end I guess what I don't like is to feel like some exchangeable partner for a guy's or girl's fast satisfaction. I'm special - like anyone else - and I would love to be treated that way.

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Really good job on your guide Epi, I think it's gonna be my favorite link for douches and dumbasses...


Oh wait, if they can't go further than my avi's name, they probably can't read... ^^'


Anyway, if that can change at least one person in the good way it will be worth it!


Merry Christmas!


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