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About Tracer

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    Overwatch, Ancient Egypt, Twilight, Cats (Yes also the movie - shutup), Contortionism.

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  1. People are people. I've been in plenty of online communities where people are decent and well behaved entirely without moderation - and plenty more where its toxic and ridiculous even if the mods come down hardcore on it. The nature of this game brings people who might not have fully developed social skills. Simply put: They don't function in the real world at a social and sexual level so come here to find a replacement for that. But the truth is if you can't read human signals or follow social boundaries in the real world (How to approach other people and how to treat them with respect) then trying to do it in a 3 inch text box will not be any easier. The result is frustration and bitterness and a sense of failure and that spills over to the world chat. Whenever I see someone raging here or in the forums I just assume they are deeply unhappy and unfulfilled That makes me really sad - I will try to be better and treat them with kindness and respect and even forgive them if their ranting turns to cruelty as it does on occasion. I block as last resort. Silencing human beings is a terrible terrible result for them even if they never realize it. Having said all that: I will take the toxic wailing of sad frustrated people over perpetual room spam any day of the week. The room spam was a despicable abuse of a feature designed to encourage communication between members. Even if that communication is sometimes not what I would wish it to be. My thoughts only.
  2. yes I am.thank you . but is it OK that i have a different opinion without that you question my sanity or mental health? Is my opinion no less valid than yours? EVERYONE I KNOW is happy world chat is cleaned up. EVERYONE I know hated how ridiculous it was before. This thread has lots of people complaining about how draconian the response was from the devs. But would anything less have worked? Polite pleading obviously didn't work. I think this thread has a very very vocal and belligerent minority forming a kind of echo chamber and trying to proclaim this as some horrible action taken by a powermad dev team. Some of the comments here are frankly unrepeatable and borderline personal abuse towards the devs as far as I'm concerned. Again: just my opinion. But for the record I personally think that a clampdown and cleanup was an entirely reasonable and long overdue action against people who persisted and persisted in the face of vocal opposition from the majority of players. Many many players have been blocking World chat spammers - and that is detrimental to the entire community. But to be clear: This is only my opinion. I don't think Im sick for expressing it. I don't think its a particularly hostile or extreme opinion. Let me ask You a question β˜™π”Όπ•©β§.. Is it OK that there are more than one side and one opinion to this thing?
  3. World chat is so clean now - Its so much better. Its not perfect but at least its a channel i can look at without my eyes bleeding. I understand people are upset at the way it was cleaned up _ but honestly I think some of the worst offenders really didn't understand how bad it had become to try and use world chat for anything (Finding someone I got dc'd from or checking where people are or just generally talking to people). And also what you all seem to forget is that we were TRYING to ask people to stop spamming.. there was daily drama in the chat where people were trying to be polite and ask people to not spam every 3 seconds.. and being blocked or just insulted. It got to the point that the very subject of spam was its own drama. And finally when people started spamming using alts - so the same flashy box popped up again again again again again..in between another and another again again again again... I think 36 hour ban is more than reasonable for that. I'm glad you were stopped. I'm glad you were punished. Kudos to the devs.
  4. is the server down? I get the cannot connect message at the login screen.
  5. In game! Free hugs!

  6. It does work for me now. 14% Fingers crossed.
  7. The patcher fails for me, sadly. Maybe its overloaded? Update status: Could not connect to server.
  8. The website is back up and I could download the game client from members area.
  9. That's fair. To be honest though I think that the "why" of it is interesting - and important. I think a lot of people approach this place the way they approach Reddit or something: "I'll be nice to you when you're nice to me." Derai and Xizl's responses kind of exemplify that. I don't mean that as a judgement: Everyone has a right to play how they want to play and exist as they want to exist. Their ways of playing are as valid as my own. What I'm trying to describe is to take a more altruistic and proactive approach for the sake of values that are important here in 3dx but maybe don't exist in other internet forums and spaces: In my opinion to build intimacy and trust in a community requires a more forgiving approach than I would personally take in other venues. For example: It takes more self control to resist being baited by a troll than it does to simply go ballistic at them. And yeah they might be the world's worst troll and i might have the world's best argument - but the risk is that I make the space we are arguing in an argument space. Here, I believe this is detrimental to a wider purpose: To build a strong community that shares common values and promotes collaborative trust. But I understand this comes across as preachy - and I won't try and make everyone sing Kumbyya. I guess I will just try to practice what I preach
  10. Tracer

    3dx Haiku β™‘

    Kink was a new thing With no risk to fall in love Oh boy did I learn
  11. Nearly two months in.. I have learned that the single best thing about this game is its community. I enjoy my friendships more than the pixels. I enjoy meeting new people and exploring new and interesting things (only some of which are sexual) at an incredible and deeply personal level of intimacy. I came here because of Corona and the loneliness of isolation but I stayed for curiosity and fulfillment that can only be gained by interacting with a committed and sharing community. I have also learned that the biggest liability of this game is also its community: There is so much here that could alienate a new player (I am still new enough that I can state this confidently). There is intrigue, politics, drama, and the cliquey tribalism of a playground of adolescent school children fighting over tennis balls. Emotions and libidos and tempers cause messy interactions that aren't always respectful or well thought out. So much in-fighting is distressing to see. I think this social drama is a direct threat to such a small community. Potentially fracturing it and reducing the shared experiences we have together. I want to try and address this here. Why is toxicity such a problem for 3dxchat? Because intimacy and trust are everything here. Ultimately the intimacy that can be shared between trusting strangers will erode the less people have confidence in each other - and a toxic community is the quickest way to break that trust. I am sure everyone here can think of at least 1 extremely hostile experience they have had online - and then I would simply challenge them to consider if that is the sort of environment that could nurture intimacy and trust? Of course not. But now have that experience once a week. Once a day... The smaller our community the more exposed it is. It is a path to self destruction. Alternatively, by nurturing a positive community it would definitely grow. Those intimate experiences are what we all hope for. What new people come here hoping to find. The community provides. Or it does not. So how do we nurture a positive and mature community? Some people cry "bring in the moderators!" at this point. But in principle, a decent community doesn't need moderators if its members can self-moderate. Ultimately that is the ideal community goal in any forum or online group: That regardless of our differences and disparate views we can all agree some basic forms of dialogue and behaviour. Moderators are like a police force and ultimately sadly will end up being hated - especially in an environment which tries to foster a feeling of "intimate lawlessness" where feelings are involved and our self-imposed boundaries are often broken. Cries of bias and favoritism will drown moderators out. They're humans too and will be hated for being robots whilst failing for not being robot enough. Luckily I think the "laws" of 3dxchat are very human laws and don't need moderating. They don't need policing. Things like "Respect", "Self Discipline", "Patience" and perhaps the most important thing of all: Humility. Therefore, at the risk of coming across as some moral harpy, and readily admitting that I don't have any easy path for how to get to that utopia of a perfect community, I would like to share what i have found to be the most important steps for me personally to contributing to online communities (I have been a member of several fanfic sites). The most important improvement that can be made to this forum and community is MY own self improvement. How can I be better? What can I do? A few seconds of self reflection before jumping in to the argument. Restraining myself from having the last word. Wanting the best for others, strangers as well as friends. Assuming that if an argument happens it is because *I* am mistaken. Apologizing for that mistake and learning to walk away from it. Sometimes I can be right and still be wrong: The mistake is sometimes not in what you say, but the fact you had to say it. Importantly: I have no ownership and can have no expectation towards the behaviour of others, as much as I would like to. The community we are can only prosper the more we as individuals aim to self improve, rather than ask others to improve themselves. No person should expect anything from anyone else that they do not expect from themselves. In there is the realization that everyone here is a human being behind a keyboard. We are all flawed and capable of making mistakes. Of treating other people with cruelty and stupidity, regardless of our initial intent. Every negative thing we type can be a weapon and every time we respond in anger we can be doing harm. It is so easy to misunderstand or be misunderstood in a text box and written format, especially when considering cultural and language differences. By trying to win a point I might be breaking another human being to bits. Its OK to know that I am right, and to want to be right. But If I NEED to be right at the expense of who another person is, then I am probably wrong at an entirely different and much more human level. The second thing that I truly believe matters in a community is understanding the equality we all share: posting and playing 3dxchat is a privilege we all pay for, and we are all equal in that privilege. There is no *right to exist* here, nor the *right to be right* or most of all: *to be seen to be right*. I never played Dungeons and Dragons but I love the idea of the dungeon master: the one who controls the game the others play. I think here we all take the role as Dungeon master to everyone else: Everyone that enters my room, even if its to cold me or hit me up with the "hru bb wanna fk?" romance. They're seeking their own adventure for their own reasons. Maybe they need to learn a few of the rules I use in my game - but i should do my best to help them understand them before I kick them out of the game. Lastly: Yes of course some people will go over the line. Some people are not here to make friends. Some people like drama and like to cause it. They exist in Overwatch and warcraft and everywhere else human beings get together on the internet. But they don't actually have any power apart from what we give them. So here is perhaps the hardest lesson i have to give myself: Don't engage. Don't respond. If I find that I have - back out from the room and then slap myself on the head for being stupid and feeding a troll. The single biggest contribution I can make to an online community is self discipline. I hope it works. Sincerely, I hope I can make this game a better experience for YOU. If I do that its a better experience for me too.
  12. I think if you host a room in public you have a responsibility to the community. Respectfully: It is not "YOUR ROOM". It belongs to the community and hosting is a privilege and courtesy. If you don't believe this then host for friends or group only. I've been here 7 weeks and by FAR the most alarming aspect of this game is the cliquey tribal wars that seem to go on. There's some undercurrent of personal rivalry between people here that is just so very toxic and its a crying shame for such a small and intimate community. People keep talking about their "rights" in these forums - their rights to kick who they want - to host how they want. To run the room for who they want - But communities have responsibilities, and before people describe what they are owed they should talk about what they owe: The community deserves its members to act in moderation and with restraint. But in game this is not what happens: Certain people are too keen to hurt each other and abuse each other verbally rather than behave with decency and restraint. Even on these forums people bicker like children and then ironically cry foul because there are no moderators, not realizing the irony that they themselves could choose to *self moderate* but are unable to. Weaponizing rooms by giving room owners the ability to boot and people from rooms will only divide the community further and it should not be allowed under any circumstances. It is the most obvious way to bully and abuse people and I don't say that as a judgement to anyone here: I am sure all of you have the best intentions - but if you are honest with yourselves I think you can all think of at least one or more people who you know will do exactly that: weaponise this function in spite and rudeness. How about this for a policy: A good room should be open to all, and then let the individuals that visit your room decide if someone offends them or not. As adults, give them the choice. Its OK also to msg people to restrain themselves while in your room, or apologize to guests on behalf of one visitor who cant control themselves, and block them when they dont behave (I've seen room owners do this very maturely and rationally and its raised my opinion of them) but everyone knows its not your fault as a room owner if someone is being a douche.. Its up to every individual to decide what they tolerate and don't tolerate from other players in any room they visit: This is mature and rational and removes a very unwanted side effect that i don't think many people who beg for a block button actually consider: Blame on the room owner for actions taken by visitors. If room owners get this new "boot" power then suddenly the room owner potentially is responsible for the behaviour of their guests: "How can you let this ass be in your room when they constantly cold me / send nasty texts to me?" Suddenly the room owner HAS TO behave like a cop. Visitors will complain about the people they don't like in the room. Every room owner could potentially be pulled into that cliquey drama "OMG you don't want HER in your room she did blah blah blah". Please let me give you an example: In my 7 weeks here I got curious about BDSM and subbing and went to a BDSM room. I basically met some "Dom" who decided i was going to be their slave and was so aggressive about it that it freaked me out. I bailed out of that quick as hell but later found when I went back there that i had been blocked by 6 or 7 people solely based on that one person deciding that if they couldn't have me no-one else should: I'm not blocked in the room but it is disappointing to me that a half dozen people I have never met have basically shut me out simply from the word of one person. I cannot imagine what it would be like for this kind of *law of the pack* to apply room wide but i can't imagine any other element of the game killing this little community faster. This was just my opinion.
  13. Hi I kind of uninstalled my 3dxchat when the attack happened because I thought it was my own PC that was the problem. I wonder is it possible to get a copy of the game so I can at least reinstall it while we wait for the servers to come back up? The members area isn't up for the moment. My net isn't great so it takes quite a while to download since its quite big so I would like to start doing this already. Thanks
  14. Thanks for the infos and replies that I could understand. OK -is this right then? Somebody is spamming the server and stopping us all from connecting. They do this with many (machines? hacks?). This is being done from a lot of different places and it's difficult to find out who does it. They are cowardly shits in other words. This cloudflare thing is fixing the forums (Which were also attacked). Fingers crossed. But it can't fix the server (why not?). This (probably?) isn't an attack where we lose stuff like characters or rooms - or worse our credit card info is stolen or anything (right? this is the big deal for me). I think this is maybe an important point that people who aren't techy should be told about? To calm us down Its a bit worrying that it has been down a week before - was that also a DDOS? Does this mean this can happen again and again just because somebody doesnt like the game? Is it possible for someone to tell us what they think the status will be or when we might see it come back? Since its been like nearly a day.
  15. Hiya! Can someone explain what a ddos is? (in a non-nerdy way please) Is it hacking? Are our characters and rooms going to be ok? If someone is attacking the server isn't it just to call the police?
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