Apology/Confession

[chaostika]

 

 

[xDoe]

Have the mods went on strike? I'm trying to post as the real me now and nothing's been approved since Saturday/Sunday.

[intercessional]

Have the mods went on strike? I'm trying to post as the real me now and nothing's been approved since Saturday/Sunday.

 

Takes a bit,someone even started a thread on the wait. you are better off PMing them and getting the doe account name changed. wont take as long

[Leopardus]

I read through all this thread, and the thing that stands out to me is that you (David) are a very humorous person.  I like you already.

 

(ps. I'm bald too, but my photo is already taken  .)

[Keely Kat]

Doe

 

Kudos to you for actually having a conscience. Many here don’t. They go from one thing, one person to the next without any regard for how they are affecting those around them. So, I say we need more people like you here who care. I agree with what was said above. You may be surprised how those you feel you hurt will forgive and accept you. And, if you like playing as a woman then do that too.

[Coldheart]

Hm, just one more thing.

[Coldheart]

Btw, my name is David. I'll likely come back with that name, my real age and I really do live in Scotland. I mean, who else but Scots know that Auchtermuchty is a real place.

Does anyone know what happened to this guy?

[Oneiros]

Yes. He plays again on female avi acting as a transexual.

Predictable.

[Natsumi]

Ok, so you've got here. Maybe some of you guessed, maybe not. I've cried my eyes out over this, although I don't expect anyone to forgive/believe me.

 

Here goes nothing, and this is really hard and I apologise so much to people I know I'm going to really hurt badly.

 

I am a 39yo Scottish male. Please keep reading as I want to at least try explain, and no I don't expect forgiveness or anything. I expect people will just put me down and talk crap and will never understand.

 

I have suffered depression/anxiety/social anxiety disorder for around the last 10 or so years. Most of my life has been full of horrible people (except the closest people to me, my parents and my brothers and other family). I've never had  any true friends, any I did have buggered off, especially when they found out I have mental health issues. I haven't been in a relationship for at least 15 years and even then she went behind my back and I caught her sleeping with her "best friend". You can probably guess how that went/made me feel.

 

I've always been shy and quiet and found it hard to make friends/talk to people, but this shitty illness makes it even harder. I've pretty much lost my late 20's and all my 30's to this horrendous illness that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy, or even the people that are going to probably write nasty comments after they've read this (if you've even got this far). I've ended up in hospital once, it would have been twice, but the first time they had no beds and I basically had to "get on with it". The second time I broke down massively and no longer wanted to be alive. I was under watch especially the first 3 or 4 days, wasn't allowed earphones, my electric shaver or anything I could potentially use to rid the world of me.

 

To try and cut what's a long story, I found this game and in hindsight wish to fuck I'd been honest since the start, unlike 60-80% of people here. It's a form of escapism from reality, though I guess this place is for most people. I never meant to hurt anyone but I know I have for definite now. I'm so painfully lonely it near enough hurts. Yes, I still live with my parents, maybe a good thing, maybe bad. I know without them I wouldn't be sitting here or anywhere. I'd be 6ft under with "Died from Suicide/Depression" written on my gravestone.

 

I don't expect anyone to understand or forgive me. If you do, you are an amazing person that deserves so much good in their life. Unfortunately I've had pretty much the opposite in mine.

 

Again, I'm sorry to people I've hurt now. You know who you are, you might even comment on this or hate me, and I don't blame you. This has taken a while to write coz I keep breaking down. I feel so useless and worthless and angry at myself. Like the late John Candy said in a film once "When am I ever going to wake up?"

 

If you've read this far thank you so much. If you understand, you're a far better person than I can hope to be. I'm unsure if I'll be back as me. I doubt anyone wants me to even stay.

 

Again and I will never be able to say it enough or make up for it, I am truly, deeply sorry.

 

So there you have it, feel free to start shit, not sure I care anymore.

 

 

xDoe, its not easy to confess or even admit that you're going through something that's effecting your life. From what I've read, you're both smart and brave. Remember you're never really alone, even in the darkest of times. There are people all around you to give a helping hand even if you don't ask for it. Never give up on yourself. I've been through hell many times and have even attempted suicide as well. 

 

I'm willing to admit that I suffer from Anxiety and PTSD, and its something I have to live with for the rest of my life. Its the friends and family around me that keep me going. Keep me living every moment. Life is short, and a lot of times we take it for granted. This reply might be a little late but I hope you're doing well.