BDSM. Our Special World of Kink.

[Vaughan_Rarius]

 

[Vaughan_Rarius]

      

 

        

[Lovers]

 especially when I had posted earlier in another topic for the contrary.

 

 

 

 

              

 

 

 

 

 

Hi, just re-read your post and it refers to an earlier post, that you appear to say deals with my question?

 

I have searched and can't find it  .... I would appreciate a link please, or the name of the thread, would save me rephrasing the question in this thread if it is already answered elsewhere thanks.

[Lovers]

I was unaware that you had me on ignore and I am at a loss to see any insult in asking questions?

 

 

Sorry, been busy , but again mystified why you would threaten to ignore me over a question?

 

 

 

 

I was not able to answer this members questions / insults as I have him on ignore in the game and in forum.

 

 

Surprized that you said you had me on ignore at 3am this morning I was confused to see you still on my friendlist today? 

 

To save confusion I took a screenshot where you are online and on my friendlist? I took a screenshot with a time stamp 15.34 Sunday 25/02/2018 Which is 3.34pm this afternoon.

 

What is the problem with my question .... is there a problem making an opinion as to whether a "self proclaimed Dom" that threatens to fuck another mans girl over a disagreement should be considered as a  Dominant or  Predator (Abuser)  ?

 

And a further question ....  is asking the above question a good reason to iggy someone on the 3dx game and here on the forum ?

[JenC]

I have been exploring this on and off for a couple of years now, and after so many conversations with people and reading so many blogs, I have come to the conclusion that there is simply no right or wrong way, and that it is all so subjective that its impossible for anyone to say whether something someone else is doing is right or wrong. It is all up to the individuals involved to determine what is right/acceptable/desirable and what is not.

One only has to look at the wiki entries for these subjects, the words "may", "often", "sometimes", "can", "might", "usually", are used so regularly throughout the articles its obvious that these are really subjective subjects.

Sharing your own ideas is great though, just as threads like this that Vaughan has been making, it helps people explore what they may not have thought of before, and to try different things and to find ways that may be perfect for your own relationship as it evolves.

 

And Sputnik, if he has you on ignore, there's little point in asking any questions don't you think? And if he doesnt, why not send a private message to find out what you seek?

[Lovers]

 

 

And Sputnik, if he has you on ignore, there's little point in asking any questions don't you think? And if he doesnt, why not send a private message to find out what you seek?

 

Hi JenC as I said I didn't know he had me on ignore .... I have checked back through my posts and can see no reason why he has?

 

As to asking a question ..... I thought asking questions was well in the spirit of a forum?

 

The reason I eventually asked the OP "vaughan" directly was that every time I posted a question he immediately swamped it with a wave of images?

[Lovers]

Ps .... JenC I wasn't iggied on the forum or the 3dxchat game when I posted my questions (he was in my LONG friend list from "way back when" for some reason).

 

I wasn't iggied on the forum when he stated I was iggied to trance earlier in this thread either, or he wouldn't have known to swamp my questions with images every time I posted a question and wouldn't have still been on my friend list 12 hours later?

 

He may have iggied me now? but I am happy to discuss my questions and opinions with other followers of this thread 

[Vaughan_Rarius]

Hi JenC,

 

Thank you for your input.  It is appreciated and both points you make very true. 

 

This member lost the privilege of any kind of conversation with me when he made some ludicrous accusations against me not once but twice now. This included some very bizarre and twisted truths and threatened me with “making me his concern.”  It soon became clear he did not want to listen to reason and his version of the truth must be fact.

 

So my ignore has nothing to do with this topic and everything to do with the abusive and hostile behaviour in the game. Then having put the man on ignore, he chooses to bombard this topic, probably part of the “making me his concern” thing.

 

You are absolutely right as well, I will not enter into a conversation or a debate with him. His goal is not for information or to find out about bdsm but to goad me into a public argument most likely to get this topic banned, no matter how much he tries to veil his behaviour as innocent.  I think his constant hounding shows that.

 

But - It's Not happening. Anything he has to say is of no interest to me now. He blew it to put it bluntly.

 

And even though he knows he is on my ignore ; here and in the game - and I wont answer him, he can't help himself - he has to have the last word, he has to justify his actions by twisting things, he has to tell everyone what a bad person I am. 

 

Well he can go ahead...  I still wont answer and I can't read, nor do I want to read what he says. 

 

 

 

I have some more sensual pics that I particularly like ..

 

 

 

 

 

This one is nice, can you imagine, having denied her sense of sight and touch, how you can build her anticipation and enhance her sexual awareness with, ice and fur and sensual careses and kisses...  

 

[Lovers]

Mmmm I had a discussion with Vaughan and his male friend on the game .... the discussion raised issues pertaining to BDSM and the way men treated women .... I thought the bravado was just two males trying to appear manly ....

 

I asked Vaughan  questions and in particular as to how he and his team (sub, second master and himself) were training women and laying down rules for the behaviour of both men and women. 

 

Yes it was obvious nothing substantial was to be gained by an ingame chat with these two men, but I hugged them when theyt left and was unaware that asking questions upset him/them?

 

I can assure you I have no intention or inclination to raise personal issues on the forum  ...

 

I do have real questions as to the BDSM scene on 3DXchat .... and not just one  ... but questions have to start with a first question.

[Vaughan_Rarius]

 

 

 

 

 

[Lovers]

This is aimed at no one in particular ... I think the iggy button is a great feature, however, unfortunately the iggy button can be abused by abusers 

 

An abuser can go around abusing people and when caught iggy people when they get caught out.

 

As regards D/s ... a dominant doesn't hide behind an iggy button, or friends speaking on their behalf, they deal with the issue/s head on.

[Lovers]

I have been exploring this on and off for a couple of years now, and after so many conversations with people and reading so many blogs, I have come to the conclusion that there is simply no right or wrong way,  

 

I know the intention of what you say is correct, however it becomes very muddy when considering a game where people can hide behind a created personae.

 

What I am raising is, does BDSM lack any moral compass .... the article posted by the OP states there are moral guidelines in this kink.

 

I believe someone that will threaten a persons family, friends, loved ones has no morality, plus its also a crime.

 

So I believe asking whether someone that would threaten to rape a persons girlfriend is a Dominant or  Predator (Abuser) ? Is a relevant question to ask in this thread.

 

One thing I have found in life is people don't usually change their inate personality, so if they would threaten to abuse someones girlfriend they would not think twice about abusing their own sub.

[Lovers]

Ps .... I am dominant, but after seeing the actions of some "self proclaimed Doms" on the 3DXchat game, I would now consider being called a Dom an insult.

 

Nothing any one could throw at me in a discussion could ever make me threaten another persons family, friends or loved ones.

[Guest Trance]

I think there are basically two types, Dominants and egotistical twats.

 

I’ve been a sub online and off and met both, in both. Any sub worth his or her salt quickly learns to recognise the second and avoid like the plague. Unfortunately novice subs are not so wise and games like this attract both Dominants and submissives who want to learn, or are experimenting. The pretenders give a bad impression of the whole thing.

 

A good Dominant just, is one.

 

I have no comment on who is which but I can teach subs the signs to watch for, pm me.

[Lovers]

 

 

I have no comment on who is which but I can teach subs the signs to watch for, pm me.

 

That is an excellent offer trance ...  And I know a lot of subs come to this thread looking for help  ... they are prime for abuse .... Some helping advice is so valuable 

[Guest Trance]

Btw, I’m not recruiting, just offering my “no frills” thoughts

 

I think this thread would be better for some discussion, from novices and those with genuine experience. Be honest about it, there’s no shame in not knowing as long as you’re willing to learn.

 

I’m sure that’s what the OP intended too

[Lovers]

Yes .... dicussion is definately needed .... every one needs advice ... would be nice to see discussion start 

[Guest Trance]

For example, i’ve been Domme-curious for a while and although they say a sub makes a better Dominant I often feel very uncertain as a Domme. Obviously that’s not ideal in a Domme.

 

Is it just a matter of experience?

[Lovers]

 

 

Is it just a matter of experience?

 

Personally I believe you are either dominant or submissive  .... You can learn the theory, but when something goes wrong, some people are just capable of taking control of the situation and some need to be guided.

 

This is why I find it wrong when people play at being something they are not  .... its OK when everything is fine, but when things go wrong a lot of damage can be done.

[Lovers]

 

I have no comment on who is which but I can teach subs the signs to watch for, pm me.

 

Sorry to go back to what you said, but have you thought of starting a BDSM thread from a subs view point   .... I imagine a lot of subs would feel overpowered in a thread by a dom  ... not saying doms or dominant people shouldn't contribute, but I am sure a lot of subs or submissives would feel more comfortable commenting in such a thread 

[Vaughan_Rarius]

For example, i’ve been Domme-curious for a while and although they say a sub makes a better Dominant I often feel very uncertain as a Domme. Obviously that’s not ideal in a Domme.

 

Is it just a matter of experience?

 

 

Thank you Trance for you contributions and you have made some good points, especially in regard to discussions. 

I'm sure you will get plenty of offers to expand those type of horizons if you choose to do so. 

 

And It would indeed be interesting to hear views from Switches and Dommes who have been through this type of experiences. 

 

[Lovers]

Just to be clear  .... threatening to fuck another mans girl is a crime  ... so opinions on such an abhorent practice is still sought.

 

 

 

 

[Vaughan_Rarius]

        

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Lovers]

For example, i’ve been Domme-curious for a while and although they say a sub makes a better Dominant I often feel very uncertain as a Domme. Obviously that’s not ideal in a Domme.

 

Is it just a matter of experience?

 

Hi Trance, I actually re-thought my response to your question, to which I gave a personal opinion as a man that is just dominant. And I was probably the wrong person to give an opinion on that issue?

 

As Jenc pointed out nothing is black and white in the BDSM scene, which is why a discussion thread where more experienced (genuine) BDSM experienced and the curious can discuss these issues.

 

As I said, my response was based on my own experiences which have mainly been outside the BDSM world.

 

But thinking about it .... In the bedroom or in roleplay, playing domme, dom, sub, switch is a totally different situation from living a life as a domme, dom, sub, etc outside of the bedroom, when a partner is unaware the personae is roleplay.

[Lovers]

Potential subs should be aware that anything can be written in a profile,

 

It is very easy to get images and articles from the internet to make a person look an expert or something they are not ....

 

Made a little collage that hopefully will make subs take a little more care before submitting to a person. Predator abusers can't actually do any physical damage within the game, but they can do mental damage if care is not taken.

 

Hopefully more experienced BDSM members will share dangers they are aware of ?