Do you think it's wrong for men to play as futa/t-girl?

[Lumi]

I always find these posts amusing, they try to reverse shit so if you expect a female to be a female, you are the odd one when i assure you its the other way around.  90 percrent of the ones who defend this type of stuff are guys, so of course they arent going to say its wrong or whatever.

 

Not really. Try looking at it from both perspectives.

 

For girls who wants to enjoy naughty fun here I understand keeping gender secret as of course once the other player discovers you're female then it'll all become about real life. The poor girl can't roleplay or escape happily as the guy on the other end generally can't get the 'real' girl out of his head. "Are you playing with yourself in real while we do this?" or "Do you look like your avi?" or "What are you wearing right now?" right up to "Do you have a boyfriend in real?". The immersion is lost in people's lust for the real person.

 

Likewise if you're a guy playing a girl I can understand keeping that secret as it would kill the immersion for any but the strongest roleplayers.

 

Honestly, on the internet, here in 3DX or in any 'game', if you expect a female character to be a real female then you ARE the odd one out. I assure you. Expect them all to be male then you can't be disappointed because the population in such places is always more than 75%+ male (often 90%+), unless it's a game directly marketed to female tastes. You learn that pretty quick if you spend a lot of time in online communities.

 

You see it's not about "right" or "wrong" - it's just demographics, it's just reality and the way things are. So I think people need to realize that before they enter these kinds of environments, but humans being humans, and stupid being stupid, a new naive 'sucker' is born (or registers) ever day. And so we see these kinds of threads emerge regularly, and they will continue to emerge until the end of time as people discover all is not as it seems online, especially in adult environments.

 

 

I am not into real life crap but your comment about people finding someone is also incorrect. a good friend of mine met the guy she currently lives with here and another in australia met her man here.

 

Awesome. Well, there's two claimed, third-hand examples. I'm obviously completely wrong about 3DX's potential as a real life dating site.

 

Sure, there might be one or two very isolated examples to the contrary, but my point still stands.

 

I am not looking for real here, nor are a majority of the straight dudes but what i do expect is if i dont want to fuck a dude, he have enough class and/or respect to move onto the next. just because you dont care, doesnt mean everyone doesnt. 

 

I think the thing is you're not actually fucking anyone. You're not fucking a dude or a woman. You're just co-oping on a little erotic storytelling online with another person while watching pixels doing naughty things. For most people there's not even the writing, just clicking buttons and watching pixels inter-mesh. The real action is happening in your imagination.

 

But I totally agree that for some people they want to know who or what they're playing with. And that's fine. But it's also fine for people to keep that private and not answer. If you can't handle that then keep walking and nobody will get hurt or have their time wasted.

 

 

[Lumi]

nope, dont know her from adam. i just find it odd how people defend others who decieve and lie to others in order to cyber fuck them and then bitch and moan because people dont respect what they do. respect is a two way street, if you cant show it... dont expect it from others

Not sure how you got that out of my post.

 

I'm totally against deceiving people.

 

When you play with me you do so not knowing who or what I am. I don't claim to be male or female and I refuse to discuss my own real life, other than the occasional bit of small talk. If you can't handle the unknown then move along and play with another character. 

[Briana]

This game must be split in 2 categories, I suggest to keep the old Version 1 for serious ppl's looking for real life met, and the newest second version 2 for roleplayers! Is it a good suggestion?

[Lumi]

well, if you are leading someone to believe you are female and you arent and you know they want no part of that, shouldnt you also just walk away?

I don't know how others handle themselves in such situations, but I never lead anyone to believe I'm anything.

 

They can make assumptions, sure. But there's nothing I can do about that.

 

A typical interaction in 3DX for me goes something like this:

 

Random guy: hey gorgeous, lookin good

Lumierre glances to the side to take in the person talking, she forces a little smile as she brushes her hair aside and gives a wave in reply "Heya! Uhh, thanks!"

 

It's pretty obvious from the first moment you engage my characters that you're talking to them, not the real person. Every word they say is in quotation marks, usually accompanied by some narrative and the only time the real me is talking it ((is like this in double brackets to signify it' out-of-character)). Experienced roleplayers will recognize that instantly.

 

Occasionally I get approached by someone who's like this.

John notices the attractive blonde at the bar, gazing over his drink he keeps his brown eyes fixed lustfully on her lithe figure. After a few moments he decides to approach, lifting his shades and smiling as he introduces himself "Good evening, I'm John. Enjoying your night?"

 

Those are the kind of people and encounters I'm here for. Fun with other roleplayers. 

 

Nowhere along the way is anyone lead to believe anything about who's behind either character.

[Briana]

I remember in the past (2014) we had the roleplay window chat especially for roleplaying and letting know ppl's we were in for,but no one was using it for so, finally dev's decided to removed it from the game and for what reason? bcause it was useless. Peep seem having fun to cause drama shit, reason why.

[Briana]

We never asked you to change your mind Rob...  there is so many different ways to play in this game . When a virtual relation going in a serious matter it's time to put an Hola! It's not given to everyone how to play the correct roleplay rules in this game , I do not use this kind of quotation marks in narrative writting btw, I just play as real as possible, it's probably why some serious players could have difficulty to do the difference between reality and virtuality .Do i have to feel guilty for so? It's the way I play to letting feel me and my partner  more immersed , I don't like the use of quotation,it was never been my  intention to mindfuck ppl's around me.

[Lumi]

I agreed, Rob. At least in the context of someone asking you directly if you're a guy/girl and they respond with a lie.

 

That's deception, and I dont agree with doing it. though unless you're intending to hook up in real life there's really no harm that can come from it tbh.

 

Honestly though I think that's a question that rarely gets asked (least in my experience). People merely make an assumption on gender and dive in. They want to gratify themselves and there's few things more powerful than peoples desire to believe something is real.  Then some time down the track by some means this person discovers their assumption was actually incorrect and then begins to cry "deception". Truth is they deceived themselves.

[Lumi]

On a side note this is actually a fascinating topic that I've been interested in for many years. I've bent genders, races and species and am totally comfy playing guys, girls or creatures lol

 

For anyone interested in the psychology behind it go take a look at Nick Yee's research. He's a cyberpsychologist who's published some fascinating papers on gender bending in MMOs among other topics. 

[Guest Twiggy]

Lumi I think we all understand what you are saying and alot of it I do agree with.

People do come in here however saying that people who want to know the real life sex of the other person don't belong in here, that they should accept that is the way things are in a game like this and the Internet.

That is what I don't agree with that you seem to be saying, everyone has just as much right to expect to get what they want from this game, even if it seems unrealistic to others.

Are we meant to accept that because we choose to be honest about who we are and expect people to be the same with us that we should go somewhere else, that this game is for the dis honest, sorry but no way.

 

I know that there are people in here will always do what ever it takes to hide their real sex, when they are representing themselves as the opposite sex.

Even when asked they will not say and that is where the problem really is, if they do say then their cover is blown and they do not want that known.

So lots of them just continue on, even when a direct question has been put to them.

Also it should not have to be a direct question, lots of people have it in their profiles that they do care about the sex of the person behind the keyboard, that should be taken note of.

People may also just voice their opinion early in a meeting with someone, just casually say they don't like being deceived with a persons sex, let it be known without asking a direct question.

People who continue to go with their roleplay after it has been let known, no matter how they do, that the real life sex of a person matters to them, then they are doing wrong and not respecting that persons wishes.

No matter if you are just roleplaying or whatever, if a person lets you know their wishes you should respect that, using the excuse that they should have known you were just roleplaying is a cop out.

For the ones that do not mention anything about it, don't say anything to let you know that it matters, then yes it is their own fault then.

[Lumi]

For the ones that do not mention anything about it, don't say anything to let you know that it matters, then yes it is their own fault then.

Which is 99% of people, including most of the people for whom RL gender matters. 

 

I mean, what can one do?

 

Do you run up to every female character in the club and ask if they're really girls? All the gender benders will go silent and the real girls be wary or even a little creeped out. Ultimately they're gonna take a gamble. That's often going to get them burned because you've brought personal limits or inhibitions to the internets with them and gambled on them.

 

Others' inhibitions are not my problem.

 

Nor does a profile note saying RL is important obligate me to do or say anything. I have my own profile note that says keep RL well away from me.

 

Think that stops people wanting to go there anyway. Nope. Of course not, I get asked about RL regularly. 

 

I'm here to have fun and keep my online interactions very separate from real life. I don't care about the feelings of others, or their wishes or inhibitions. I pay a sub here to enjoy myself and not for anyone else's benefit. If they get their feelings hurt by a faceless person online well that's just tough, maybe they'll learn from it.

 

People need to educate themselves on the environment they're in then find a way to incorporate their desires or inhibitions into how they act or react themselves, as honestly other people don't owe them squat.

[xMaceyx]

I pay a sub too, and yes that does give me a right to play as a female or whatever I want, but luckily I also have morals and still treat the people I interact around with some respect. Whether these people are faceless or not

[Mazzy]

 last post is very indicative of most dudes in female avis way of thinking. fuck everyone else, im going to do what i want and if  someone else gets hurt, who cares. Yet those same people are the ones who will cry like little bitch's when they are outed or "wronged"

 

 

So much ignorance.  Everyone who disagrees with you must be a guy on a female avi, as if that's some sort of awful thing?  Get over yourself.

[Guest Twiggy]

@ lumi

I will re phrase what I said about fault, for the people that give no indication on if it matters to them or not it is only partly their fault.

The main blame can go to the people who pray on others trust, or if you want to call it ignorance then that to.

The mojority of people in this game do care about the sex of the player behind the avatar, all the ones that play as themselves, all the guys that play as guys, all the girls that pplay as girls, all the real lesbians and anyone that chooses to care about others, most of them do care.

And I say that from 2 years of being in this game and being very involved in this subject the whole time.

On top of that a large amount of the people that are playing the opposite sex to their own also care, I have seen countless times where they have shown that, for example if a guy who is playing a lesbian finds out that another guy is doing the same, mostly they wont be interested.

For you to say people need to educate themselves on the environment they are in does not cut it at all.

You are looking for excuses to do what you know is wrong and putting the blame on peoples trust or ignorance, when the real blame can only be on you.

It is not the people who choose to trust fault, it is the people who choose to betray that trust.

Why should we be expected to go around guarding ourselves from being deceived, it is you that should be making sure you do not put anyone in a position where you can upset them.

But you seem to insist that we should be the ones to alter our game and the way we go about things so you can do as you like.

The amount of times I have seen posts where someone has been found out and come in here trying to get people to forgive them, that shows who is in the wrong and what you can expect to happen.

You never will see anyone who has been deceived come in here asking for forgiveness or making a new avi to hide who they are.

It is funny how all these people that say they don't care what others think, how suddenly when they are found out, then they do care.

We are expected to take our time, get to know who we are dealing with, make sure we do not put ourselves in harms way just because we choose to be honest and care about the real sex of the person behind the keyboard.

We have to do that because you feel you have the right to betray peoples trust and pray on peoples ignorance.

You are the minority in here, but what you do has such a bad effect on the game.

The amount of times I have seen someone like you, someone who openly says they don't care what others think or if something in here can upset them.

That if that is the way they feel they shouldn't be in here and they need to learn.

Well it is you that needs to learn, the majority of the people in this game do not want you here, the majority of people in this game do respect other peoples wishes and the majority of people in this game think people like you are ass holes.

[AnyNameWillDo]

I agreed, Rob. At least in the context of someone asking you directly if you're a guy/girl and they respond with a lie.

 

That's deception, and I dont agree with doing it. though unless you're intending to hook up in real life there's really no harm that can come from it tbh.

 

Honestly though I think that's a question that rarely gets asked (least in my experience). People merely make an assumption on gender and dive in. They want to gratify themselves and there's few things more powerful than peoples desire to believe something is real.  Then some time down the track by some means this person discovers their assumption was actually incorrect and then begins to cry "deception". Truth is they deceived themselves.

So we agree that at the heart of what is being described in this subversive male operated female avi scenario is a deception, but your point is someone chooses to be deceived and the other person merely provides the landscape on which that deception is perpetuated. Food for thought.

[Briana]

What will gonna happened if ...one day, the dev's staff decided to put the obligation to all players to specify our real life gender into the game? Cause the real problem about lies and dramas is this and as Tika say, this subjet about it always comeback year after year .

[Guest Twiggy]

I would like to ask people what they think when they see someone says they like to roleplay in their profile.

Do you think I better stay away from this person because this person may not be the same sex as this persons avatar.

I have been here for 2 years and I do not automatically assume that, and I don't think we should.

Lots of people like to roleplay in things where it does not mean they are not of a different sex to their avatar.

Yet if we go off what Lumi said, and a lot of others have said before her, then them having they are roleplayers in their profile should be enough to have people know they may not be of the same sex as their avatars.

What they do not seem to understand is what that takes away from the game, what that means to people who just want to roleplay and still respect the wishes of other players.

Saying you are a roleplayer is no where enough to warn people they may be dealing with a person who is hiding their sex in real life.

If that is what we have to do it takes away from the majority of roleplayers who are people that just want play roles and still respect the wishes of other players.

 

Edited to add.

I just noticed when I read through this comment that I actually called Lumi her.

I would like to ask another question.

Why do people also feel they have to represent themselves as women in these forums, is that part of the roleplay to ?

Lots of you are hetero sexual males and come in these forums using your female avatars name, you show a female in your profile pic and represent yourself as a female in here.

You give opinions that will be seen by others as a female opinion when it is not a female opinion at all.

And there are so many of you that it does some what take away the ability for us genuine females to be heard.

[Briana]

Good question Twiggy...I never thought about it. Is that mean all member will have to use they're real identity to registred in the forum? Did you ever asking you who do not roleplay and fake on the net by using pseudonyme?

[Mazzy]

I just want to add that I'm not condoning lying and deceiving people, and I don't think Lumi or anyone else on here is either.

 

What I hate is this idea of using "you're really a guy IRL" as an insult.  Like if I'm female IRL that means I'm some elevated status?  No thanks.  Feel free to think I'm a guy then.  Would rather be known for what I post and not what gender I'm tagged as.

[Mazzy]

guess it depends on who you ask, if you are deceiving a lesbian or a man  into believing you are female then it is an insult to her or him.. as i stated before if it was just rp or whatever you wouldnt see people apologizing, begging for forgiveness and other crap in here after they are caught. 

 

as far as lumi goes... she said she didnt give a fuck how others felt or if bothered them. sounds like she actually is condoning it i will quote him or her, pretty clear if you are a reasonable thinker....

 

Did you just completely miss this post she made?

 

I agreed, Rob. At least in the context of someone asking you directly if you're a guy/girl and they respond with a lie.

 

That's deception, and I dont agree with doing it. though unless you're intending to hook up in real life there's really no harm that can come from it tbh.

 

Honestly though I think that's a question that rarely gets asked (least in my experience). People merely make an assumption on gender and dive in. They want to gratify themselves and there's few things more powerful than peoples desire to believe something is real.  Then some time down the track by some means this person discovers their assumption was actually incorrect and then begins to cry "deception". Truth is they deceived themselves.

 

 

I don't mean to words in Lumi's mouth, just how I'm interpreting her posts.

 

And it's not okay to use something as a slur just because of some bad apples.

[Camden]

Which is 99% of people, including most of the people for whom RL gender matters. 

 

I mean, what can one do?

 

Do you run up to every female character in the club and ask if they're really girls? All the gender benders will go silent and the real girls be wary or even a little creeped out. Ultimately they're gonna take a gamble. That's often going to get them burned because you've brought personal limits or inhibitions to the internets with them and gambled on them.

 

Others' inhibitions are not my problem.

 

Nor does a profile note saying RL is important obligate me to do or say anything. I have my own profile note that says keep RL well away from me.

 

Think that stops people wanting to go there anyway. Nope. Of course not, I get asked about RL regularly. 

 

I'm here to have fun and keep my online interactions very separate from real life. I don't care about the feelings of others, or their wishes or inhibitions. I pay a sub here to enjoy myself and not for anyone else's benefit. If they get their feelings hurt by a faceless person online well that's just tough, maybe they'll learn from it.

 

People need to educate themselves on the environment they're in then find a way to incorporate their desires or inhibitions into how they act or react themselves, as honestly other people don't owe them squat.

 

Since you applied real life... I will say that we live in a society that is not necessarily accepting of change or anything that strays away from the norms that they are accustomed to. So to say that "your inhibitions are not my problem" is a very dangerous way of speaking. Do you know how many people have been harmed because they neglected to tell someone  of their gender only for that person to find out later? Sometimes even before it goes anywhere, and yes, I am talking about intimacy. I am not saying in anyway that it is right. Hell no it is not. However, it also is not right to hide your identity, real life.

 

The right to know is a slippery slope and if you are secure in who you are why not be forthcoming with who you are? I am sorry, maybe my opinion is not of popular opinion but if I am getting involved with someone I DO have the right to know if they are male or female. I don't care about aesthetics. My friend does not date men because she was assaulted by a man at a young age. This is real life I am speaking of. So for her to find out that the woman she has been intimate with was a man could be very alarming for her.

 

So taking this and applying it to our virtual reality... No one really knows who you are. That is fine but to take the attitude that it doesn't matter so you can do what you want is at a complete disregard and disrespect to the other person behind the avi and I am one of those who believe that in game play you should be careful. You get what you put in so if you are putting too much of you into this game, expect to be mind fucked because only you can prevent it. Still, that is not to say those who go about their play with that intention are right. They aren't. They are emotional vampire using the platform to do shit that they couldn't get away with in real life. These are people who do not realize that their actions just might have real life consequences. Shit happens every day with cyber bullying or someone offing themselves because of what happened to them in a virtual space. If you are solely fucking and not building bonds that can impact how a person feels then my message may not be for you but in many cases, I have found that it is all game play is bullshit. People like the affection that they receive from others so they foster that shit, encourage it then lie to keep it going.

[Mazzy]

hmm, its almost as if you know exactly what shes thinking, like you are her or something......

 

 

I'd be flattered if she weren't a dirty aussie.

[Guest Twiggy]

Good question Twiggy...I never thought about it. Is that mean all member will have to use they're real identity to registred in the forum? Did you ever asking you who do not roleplay and fake on the net by using pseudonyme?

 

You have got to kidding me briana, you mean you don't see a problem with guys coming in this forum pretending to be females.

And no one has to use their real identity to register, just show the truth against where it says if they are male or female.

Like what difference does it make to them in here, it is not like they are roleplaying in a forum, that is just ridiculous.  

The difference it makes to us is they give across their opinion as if they are meant to be girls.

Which takes away our voice in here on different subjects because all people read is these guys opinions on matters and take it as female opinions.

There is absolutely no reason for these guys, the ones that are not transgenders in any way, to come in here and pretend to be female.

A transgender can at least use the excuse they may think like a female, but I would actually prefer they say they are a transgender to.

Anyone reading through these forums would think girls have some sort of fetish to have a dick, that we think about sex the same way men do and a pile of other crap that is miss leading because of these guys.

 

Give me one good valid reason briana why guys should come in these forums and pretend to be female.

[Briana]

It may have so many reasons to hide behind a fake identity and not telling they're real gender ,I can't tell you why .of course there's no valid reason for a guy to pretending to be female, but here it's like any other site using pseudonyme. We live in a world having different mentality ,for some ppl's, what we think is bad is probably not bad for them who living a different way of life we are not living and vice versa. We can't judge only on perception but mostly on what they doing to each others. I don't think using a female caracter as rl guy is wrong if we are honest with those we meet in game and specifically with those who playing seriously for real life met or for getting intime feelings ,I can understand they care about who typing behind the keybord . But in the forum, personally ,I don't think it's an obligation to tell our real gender cause it's public . In a close intime relation with a partner in game it's a way much risky not telling the true about ourself ,but again, that depend who we met there to play the game .

[xMaceyx]

The only reasons I chose to use my in game name in forums also, is so people I knew in game could find me here easily. It's the same as when my in game name was Hudson I had that as my forum name also. If sometimes my opinions come across as sounding from a females point of view it's not intentional, it's more that I have spent most of my life with female friends so can relate more easily to them.

Also my in online  girlfriend said to me once, the reason I play my female character in game so well is because I am very in touch with my female side, I think that's a compliment isn't it?

[Guest Twiggy]

Macey you do let people know in these forums you are a male behind the keyboard, you do of late anyway.

You also do the same in game.

And I do understand what you are saying about wanting to have the same name in here as in the game, I did actually know that is why guys do that in the forums.

If the others did the same as you there wouldn't be a problem, I have seen you make comment on things where it does matter if you are truly a female and you have said you are a guy.

​The point I am trying to make here is that guys coming in here and making comments on particular things, where it does matter if it is truly a female comment, lots do tend to carry their game on in here.

They often give the wrong perception of a female point of view on things and I am sure it has effected how the devs see what females want from this game.

There is only a small percentage of the player base are actually females in real life, likely under 20%, there are things that could be added to the game that would encourage more females to stay.

But we don't get much of a say in what gets added because of the way things are, and made much worse by males in these forums pretending to give a female point of view.