Player/Character gender roles – An informal poll.

[Guest Larrygair]

Please note that it is not the intent of this post to start yet another discussion of whether this practice is good, bad or neutral. There is already a spirited discussion going on in “How to tell if…”

 

In the thread mentioned above, there is a lot of discussion about males running female characters but few contributors actually state that they have done it and why. Also there is little or no mention of females running males (maybe this never happens?)

 

This thread (I Hope) will look at this from another angle and give folks who have played characters of a different sex to voice their feelings or tell their story.

 

Questions:

• Are you a male or female or other (if you’d rather not say that’s OK too)
• Have you ever run or considered running a character with a gender other than your own?
• What is your motivation?

I’ll start to break the (likely) thick Ice.

I’m a 57 year old male, entirely hetero (some would say flaming hetero…) 

 

I started pencil and paper role playing games in the late ‘70s and rapidly got used to acting as someone who I wasn’t. At some point I hit on the idea of a female character and created one (Mysti).

First off, I was astounded just how uncomfortable my female character made the other male players. They just could not figure out how to deal with me. The one female player was of course OK with it and we had great fun. Later she created a male character and that seemed to go over OK. Maybe the males had just gotten used to it but it was certainly a different dynamic.

 

That was then…

 

Fast forward to today and online sex gaming…

 

I have not been playing here very long but have been aware of these games for quite a while. I never thought that I’d like it, but finally took the plunge. When I started, I just naturally created a male character (in my own likeness) and a female as well.

 

Why did I create a female?

 

No easy answer.

 

First of all, I’ve not run my female in 3Dx yet (I’ve been too busy having a good time as my male character) so the following comments are drawn from experiences in "other" games.

 

Playing a woman you can be softer and more caring than a stereotypical male character can be without seeming too passive.

Also there is something about looking at you own body (in game) and seeing what you have been in pursuit of your entire life (I may never leave the house again… ) 

 

It’s interesting to watch how males approach a female (me) in game and frankly they’re behavior ranges from boorish to outright disrespect. Not all males act this way (I certainly do NOT) but that’s been my experience so far.

 

Wandering through the game you certainly do see a lot of “only women – males need not apply” profile statements so yes, playing a woman does expand your play opportunities both with males and females

I don’t do this to deceive or trick anyone in any way, it just is another way to play.

 

Rest assured that when and If I bring my girl out to play the first line in her profile will clearly state who and what is behind her.

 

I apologize for the rather long-winded post, but I thought that a new topic was justified rather than burying this in the “How to tell…” thread.

 

L.

[Primal]

 

Questions:

• Are you a male or female or other (if you’d rather not say that’s OK too)
• Have you ever run or considered running a character with a gender other than your own?
• What is your motivation?

 

1. Male, reckon its arguable that Im too male at times depending on yer perspectives haha.

 

2. Never. I don't even have alternate personas at this point. I'm Primal, Primal is me. It's this simple for me. I'm not here to escape anything as much as to enjoy a wealth of new interactions and people that I may otherwise miss out on the pleasure of knowing (big love Smoque, Nymph, Rak, Ashley, Achilles, Ash, temp and my trea). For me, while I respect that many people see these games and chat based text exchanges as harmless, I believe that words have power. Words can elicit and create emotional responses and stimuli in us the moment that we read them. That creates a very real impact. I feel like you have to be cautious with just what impacts you are creating in the people around you so that you protect the ones that you care for. Fantasy is, agreed, just that - but the effects of fantasy are all kinds of real. That opinion/observation for me keeps me from ever being anything but myself, good or bad.

 

3. The more personal and intimate motivations I have for being here are my own and for the people I choose to share them with. They know who they are. But I DJ as well, which I love. And I love when people have a good time and cut loose. I enjoy interacting and socializing and just meeting new personalities for any number of reasons. 3dx affords me many blessings and fulfills me on a number of levels. But, with respect, I won't parade most of them around. 

[Playme]

1.  Female -- Pansexual --  BSDM:  Switch

 

2. (re-posting from Forum User Picture topic- August 22nd.) Yes I have - should say do.  * with a Spanish accent says *  I am the masked man named Vango!   

A bit off subject, but thought I would share why.  I've always enjoyed watching    the human experience.  First, it was a break away from my once over active friends list yet still be in the community.  After hearing many of my male friends complain on how hard it is to meet girls - so I tested.   After walking around 3 days - not chatting in local or to anyone, with a weak one liner profile - I received no colds nor PMs. as going around as a hetro male looking for hetro females.   So, I agree - they have it tough, if one doesn't start the communication, this game can be very lonely.  So now, I respond to all " Hi's" after my experiment.

 

3.  Since that post, I still use that avi from time to time.  And go * evil grin*  hunting so to speak,  just to stir the pot or to hang out with my RL friends and/or guildmates.  I am aware of a handful of other fem's that actively play male avi's,  but I believe I am the one of the few, at this time, claim it in my profile both by forum name and gender.

 

 

*tip toes away*  

[LauraM]

Unfortunately from previous experience I know all too well that *some* male players have created females for their own selfish purposes and have abused the trust of other gamers, including getting into full-blown online relationships and have drained their female 'partners' emotionally in the process. I know of at least three separate occasions where this has happened.

 

Maybe for some the motivation is to be treated differently as I have no doubt that genuine female players are interacted with in an entirely different way to male players - at least, this is my assumption based on how people behave in real life, and I can't see 3dx being any different as its simply just a microcosm of RL society and human behaviour tends to be the same in many ways whether it is real or in-game.

 

That said, I disagree entirely with the other threads where players have attempted to 'out' guys playing as girls, where this is purely speculation and suspicion.

 

Mercifully, it is becoming increasingly easy to spot the fakes on 3dx. The warning signs are often the same.

[CrazyAli]

 

Questions:

• Are you a male or female or other (if you’d rather not say that’s OK too)
• Have you ever run or considered running a character with a gender other than your own?
• What is your motivation?

 

I honestly love that someone is creating something like this, but it almost seems redundant. But alas, the social butterfly that I am, shall chime in and answer the forum call.

 

Are you a male or female or other (if you’d rather not say that’s OK too)

- Yes I am all woman, and a lesbian too, WHAAAAAAA!?!?!?!? WE DON'T EXIST HERE, JUST LIKE THE MYTHICAL UNICORN.... I KNOWWWWW.... CRAZY RIGHT, hence the name, teehee. But still true.

 

Have you ever run or considered running a character with a gender other than your own?

- I do have another character, though ... sadly its still a female character. (Some people are lucky enough to know it *winks*)

 

What is your motivation?

- I honestly have no motivation to even have or want to create a male character. I have been blessed to never of had any real issues negative wise within the community here. So the ONLY reason I would forsee me creating a male character, would be to escape the drama if any should arise for me, because obviously noone would know who I was. That would answer the motivation towards creating an alternate character I suppose. As far as my motivation for me being here. Well, I'm too blatantly honest so might as well spill the beans. I am married IRL, I have been with her going onto 11 years now. We married last April, which somewhat upset me. Because at the time Pennsylvania did not allow Gay Marriage until May. But anyway, we got married it was just a further drive to make it official. I am actually pretty happy with our relationship, though I wish there were some things I could explore but I admit I am too afraid to make known to her. Possibly one of the reasons I am here. But ultimately I am just a very friendly person, or at least I try to be. So I am here more to get to know other people and make some friends along the way. And if anything else happens... great ... if not ... thats ok too. I like to listen, and I love to talk. (I am sure that much is clear by now) So I guess I am motivated by the simple fact that every person here is unique, and I enjoy getting to know each and every one of you.

 

It is sad that threads like these have to even exist. And I am one of those people who like to keep an open mind and just try and get along with everyone, regardless of gender. Though if someone is looking for something... more, sorry guys, I wear my Gold Star proudly, nothing will probably happen with ya. But beyond that, I used to feel that if you are a guy playing a woman, fine, thats your business. You pay for the game the same as I, I should have no right to tell you how to play YOU'RE game. But lately, I have taken a different approach. Because I see people who are hurt by those who LIE about their gender. Most people start off with this game as a quick way to release a little sexual tension and expand on their sexual horizons. And thats fine, but sooner or later feelings if you do keep in touch with people, will start to play a major role. And some people have gone months, and even up to a year in a cyber relationship with others in the game. And I can only imagine how devastated those people are when they find out the truth. And it is for that reason, why my opinion has shifted. Like the show catfish which I lOoOooooOove, if any of you are familiar with that. There are real people behind those screens, and if you get involved with anyone virtual or real, feelings get hurt if they are lied to. Simple as that. And I am starting to rant... time ... for me ... to ... go......

 

TOOODLES

[Guest Larrygair]

 

1.  Female -- Pansexual --  BSDM:  Switch

 

2. (re-posting from Forum User Picture topic- August 22nd.) Yes I have - should say do.  * with a Spanish accent says *  I am the masked man named Vango!   

A bit off subject, but thought I would share why.  I've always enjoyed watching    the human experience.  First, it was a break away from my once over active friends list yet still be in the community.  After hearing many of my male friends complain on how hard it is to meet girls - so I tested.   After walking around 3 days - not chatting in local or to anyone, with a weak one liner profile - I received no colds nor PMs. as going around as a hetro male looking for hetro females.   So, I agree - they have it tough, if one doesn't start the communication, this game can be very lonely.  So now, I respond to all " Hi's" after my experiment.

 

3.  Since that post, I still use that avi from time to time.  And go * evil grin*  hunting so to speak,  just to stir the pot or to hang out with my RL friends and/or guildmates.  I am aware of a handful of other fem's that actively play male avi's,  but I believe I am the one of the few, at this time, claim it in my profile both by forum name and gender.

 

 

*tip toes away*  

 

Not off topic at all. Thanks!

 

L.

[Guest Larrygair]

Unfortunately from previous experience I know all too well that *some* male players have created females for their own selfish purposes and have abused the trust of other gamers, including getting into full-blown online relationships and have drained their female 'partners' emotionally in the process. I know of at least three separate occasions where this has happened.

 

Maybe for some the motivation is to be treated differently as I have no doubt that genuine female players are interacted with in an entirely different way to male players - at least, this is my assumption based on how people behave in real life, and I can't see 3dx being any different as its simply just a microcosm of RL society and human behaviour tends to be the same in many ways whether it is real or in-game.

 

That said, I disagree entirely with the other threads where players have attempted to 'out' guys playing as girls, where this is purely speculation and suspicion.

 

Mercifully, it is becoming increasingly easy to spot the fakes on 3dx. The warning signs are often the same.

I'm really sorry that there are players out there that would deceive someone to that level. If I had my way, they would be banned. Permanently.

[Guest Larrygair]

I honestly love that someone is creating something like this, but it almost seems redundant. But alas, the social butterfly that I am, shall chime in and answer the forum call.

 

Are you a male or female or other (if you’d rather not say that’s OK too)

- Yes I am all woman, and a lesbian too, WHAAAAAAA!?!?!?!? WE DON'T EXIST HERE, JUST LIKE THE MYTHICAL UNICORN.... I KNOWWWWW.... CRAZY RIGHT, hence the name, teehee. But still true.

 

Have you ever run or considered running a character with a gender other than your own?

- I do have another character, though ... sadly its still a female character. (Some people are lucky enough to know it *winks*)

 

What is your motivation?

- I honestly have no motivation to even have or want to create a male character. I have been blessed to never of had any real issues negative wise within the community here. So the ONLY reason I would forsee me creating a male character, would be to escape the drama if any should arise for me, because obviously noone would know who I was. That would answer the motivation towards creating an alternate character I suppose. As far as my motivation for me being here. Well, I'm too blatantly honest so might as well spill the beans. I am married IRL, I have been with her going onto 11 years now. We married last April, which somewhat upset me. Because at the time Pennsylvania did not allow Gay Marriage until May. But anyway, we got married it was just a further drive to make it official. I am actually pretty happy with our relationship, though I wish there were some things I could explore but I admit I am too afraid to make known to her. Possibly one of the reasons I am here. But ultimately I am just a very friendly person, or at least I try to be. So I am here more to get to know other people and make some friends along the way. And if anything else happens... great ... if not ... thats ok too. I like to listen, and I love to talk. (I am sure that much is clear by now) So I guess I am motivated by the simple fact that every person here is unique, and I enjoy getting to know each and every one of you.

 

It is sad that threads like these have to even exist. And I am one of those people who like to keep an open mind and just try and get along with everyone, regardless of gender. Though if someone is looking for something... more, sorry guys, I wear my Gold Star proudly, nothing will probably happen with ya. But beyond that, I used to feel that if you are a guy playing a woman, fine, thats your business. You pay for the game the same as I, I should have no right to tell you how to play YOU'RE game. But lately, I have taken a different approach. Because I see people who are hurt by those who LIE about their gender. Most people start off with this game as a quick way to release a little sexual tension and expand on their sexual horizons. And thats fine, but sooner or later feelings if you do keep in touch with people, will start to play a major role. And some people have gone months, and even up to a year in a cyber relationship with others in the game. And I can only imagine how devastated those people are when they find out the truth. And it is for that reason, why my opinion has shifted. Like the show catfish which I lOoOooooOove, if any of you are familiar with that. There are real people behind those screens, and if you get involved with anyone virtual or real, feelings get hurt if they are lied to. Simple as that. And I am starting to rant... time ... for me ... to ... go......

 

TOOODLES

Thanks for your reply!

 

I don't think it's redundant at all. The point of this thread is to provide a forum to share experiences and motivations, not judge right or wrong.

 

I have not seen any other discussion that encourages this intercourse.

 

L.

[Macca]

•Are you a male or female or other (if you’d rather not say that’s OK too) - 100% Male

 

•Have you ever run or considered running a character with a gender other than your own? - Yeah I have run female avi's, I just made a new one yesterday.. And she is HOT.. Keep a look out for her lol ;P

 

 

•What is your motivation? - Boredom of playing as me.. I always tell my friends its me and would never use her for sex with guys or girls, unless the girl knew it was me and wanted to try anyway lol.. Her profile pretty much says its a avi for looking but no touching..

[LauraM]

Yeah unfortunately the MASSIVE tits gives it away Macca

[Sage Stoner]

Well, I wasn't going to respond here, but there is a point I'd like to make so . . .

 

1. Male

 

2. Yes, I play almost daily as VixenStoner (f) and several times a week as SageStoner (m). Plus I use a variety of both male and female temporary alts for special occasions and secret missions. lol

And I might add that I have a lot of friends who have both Sage and Vixen in their FLs. In other words, there are a lot of people here who look past the avi and make contact with the person behind the character. 

And just to be clear, the first month I was here, yes, I did masquerade as a women. (Something I have discussed openly elsewhere.) But for the past year, Vixen's profile has always made it prominently clear that she is a "male-operated female avi."  I admit, however, that my temporary alts are sometimes not quite as forthcoming. 

 

3. I'm not sure that "motivation" is the word I would choose to describe it. I play the game in a female avi because my sexual identity is highly androgynous. In other words, I am oriented to women, but most of the time I feel more comfortable playing a passive and nurturing role in interpersonal relationships. So, yes, I identify as transgender and playing as a female best expresses the way I want to present myself in the game. (I admit that, after a year, I am a lot more comfortable now interacting with men than I used to be, but I don't identify as bisexual.) 

Which is part of why I get very frustrated when reading comments from people who think that the only reason a guy ever plays a female avi is because he is a loser or too inept to approach women as a man. Perhaps there are a few people like that, but I tend to doubt it.

I know a great many of the transgender and transsexual people who play female avis in this game. They are an incredibly diverse group and each has a unique sexual identity. <snarky comment> And, I might add, by and large they are a lot nicer than most of the people who whine about them. </snarky comment>

 

In fact, if I may go off-topic a bit, when I finally did start playing regularly in a male avi, it took me a long time to get comfortable playing as a male. It's a different approach to the game and requires a different set of social skills than playing as a female. And, as Playme has already attested to, playing this game as a male is an entirely different experience from playing as a female. 

 

Anyway, just to sum up: For many, it's not a matter of motivation; it's a matter of sexual identity. And to those people who don't get that, well, all I can say is that "there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy." 

Fixed minor spelling errors.

Edited January 12, 2015 by Sage Stoner

[milla]

Excuse me

Remove what  had written earlier in this post for having unnecessarily offended a participant. that was not my intention!

I think the very interesting subject and admire the sincerity that this topic requires.

[Sage Stoner]

God, it's too late! I'm lost!

 

If your intention is to just make a joke, please excuse me, but this isn't the right thread for that.

 

If you are just trashing this thread because you aren't interested in the topic, then please just keep moving. There is nothing to see here.

[Guest Larrygair]

Well, I wasn't going to respond here, but there is a point I'd like to make so . . .

 

1. Male

 

2. Yes, I play almost daily as VixenStoner (f) and several times a week as SageStoner (m). Plus I use a variety of both male and female temporary alts for special occasions and secret missions. lol

And I might add that I have a lot of friends who have both Sage and Vixen in their FLs. In other words, there are a lot of people here who look past the avi and make contact with the person behind the character. 

And just to be clear, the first month I was here, yes, I did masquerade as a women. (Something I have discussed openly elsewhere.) But for the past year, Vixen's profile has always made it prominently clear that she is a "male-operated female avi."  I admit, however, that my temporary alts are sometimes not quite as forthcoming. 

 

3. I'm not sure that "motivation" is the word I would choose to describe it. I play the game in a female avi because my sexual identity is highly androgynous. In other words, I am oriented to women, but most of the time I feel more comfortable playing a passive and nurturing role in interpersonal relationships. So, yes, I identify as transgender and playing as a female best expresses the way I want to present myself in the game. (I admit that, after a year, I am a lot more comfortable now interacting with men than I used to be, but I don't identify as bisexual.) 

Which is part of why I get very frustrated when reading comments from people who think that the only reason a guy ever plays a female avi is because he is a loser or too inept to approach women as a man. Perhaps there are a few people like that, but I tend to doubt it.

I know a great many of the transgender and transsexual people who play female avis in this game. They are an incredibly diverse group and each has a unique sexual identity. <snarky comment> And, I might add, by and large they are a lot nicer than most of the people who whine about them. </snarky comment>

 

In fact, if I may go off-topic a bit, when I finally did start playing regularly in a male avi, it took me a long time to get comfortable playing as a male. It's a different approach to the game and requires a different set of social skills than playing as a female. And, as Playme has already attested to, playing this game as a male is an entirely different experience from playing as a female. 

 

Anyway, just to sum up: For many, it's not a matter of motivation; it's a matter of sexual identity. And to those people who don't get that, well, all I can say is that "there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy." 

 

Fixed minor spelling errors.

Sage, Thanks you for your thoughtful reply. I'm glad you decided to do so. I see that there are a wide variety of reasons to play what you are not, and this is exactly the kind of discussion I was looking to enable with this thread. Nice hairstyle by the way If you see Knick in the game, that's me.

[Guest Larrygair]

 

Excuse me

Remove what he had written earlier in this post for having unnecessarily offended a participant. that was not my intention!

I think the very interesting subject and admire the sincerity that this topic requires.

 

I did not see your post, but thanks for correcting it.

[Guest AleksXXX]

I'm really sorry that there are players out there that would deceive someone to that level. If I had my way, they would be banned. Permanently.

  I agree with you. People came here to have fun, to make new friends, Not to be deceived and hurt. And this players who played mind games with other players for their sick fun need to be banned and their accounts closed pemamently.

[Jackal]

I agree with you. People came here to have fun, to make new friends, Not to be deceived and hurt. And this players who played mind games with other players for their sick fun need to be banned and their accounts closed pemamently.

Thanks for the necro lol

[Guest RobT]

No matter how well meaning these posts are.. sadly its always going to turn into a debate.

[Leoninha]

• Are you a male or female or other (if you’d rather not say that’s OK too)

Female.

• Have you ever run or considered running a character with a gender other than your own?

Only when i'm forced to like when i play games such as Assassin's Creed and Batman Arkham I often prefer games where I can make an exact clone of myself such as 3DXchat.

• What is your motivation?

I like to be in a palce where most people feel liberty to speak their minds, sex-wise, having a similar toon like their IRL counterparts and with no sense of guilty.

[Kiiren]

Are you a male or female or other?

 

Male

 

Have you ever run or considered running a character with a gender other than your own?

 

I have, and do have a female alt

 

What is your motivation?

 

Ever since I was in highschool, I used to play a series of tabletop roleplaying games made by a company called White Wolf. These games were all about creating a character, and acting it out, to tell a story as opposed to killing the dragon and getting the treasure. In particular, I played Vampire: The masquerade quite a bit, and I had a storyteller tell me that she liked my playstyle, but wanted me to get out of my comfort zone, and to try and play a character very much unlike myself. I found it very liberating, and the joy of creating and telling stories with other players that didn't have to be about my own world I found helped my creative spark. 

[chaostika]

 

---

 

 

 

• Are you a male or female or other?

 

Maleish female kitty tomcat alien with 3 titts and four arms
(no, im not mail, meal or maelstrom)

 

• Have you ever run or considered running a character with a gender other than your own?

Ofc, what a question^^ i have the 2 ofm  in me that are in here since july in here and now also with the 2 of us since december both ofm in here also *headahot*

 

 

 

 

What is your motivation?

 

Gosh, besides hundreds of fully approved 3dx members and also lots of others knowing...once of something called like a fukn coinscience...its no secret at all meanwhile; just like to the thousands on youtube too...gosh im fuked^^! Still,  NO hollwood here, both of me still and "just" me 24/7...but hey, writtn sooooooooo often here and there already in this forum, and also its a unreg open area here pffffffffffff and once life is to shorty anyway....a tip/hint always in my ingame profile just next to my 'forum about me' profile here in the forum and the longer "motivation" version in priv vip only as usual.....no, NO, naughty u, not in my home 1 /me laughs feel free to ask and will see...and i fukn ment in text form, not in or my home1 or me/ thinks maybe both ha haa kiddn ofc....maybe not, who knows...

 

 

 

 

---

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

---

 

 

 

 

|| Chaostika  ||  KYUSS||

 

---

 

Remember, you don't ever know who you may meet in here and just because a person may not be dressed up at all that fancy or have a other gender than u expect, don't mean they're not an important person. You just don't ever know, who you're gonna meet in 3DX and sometimes in life and so that's why i look at everybody as equal. Can't just judge. I treat everybody with respect. Every man, every woman, whatever your religion, skincolour or gender may be, or how you feel like best on your inside of yourself, or on the outside of your char! I really couldn't care less what or who you are and even if you were an alien with three titts and four arms, cause it's you, the person behind the keyboard that counts and not some freakn, buggy pixels! But, and just like my bro also always says, if it comes to love and friendships, you should know how to pronounce and write words like honesty!

 

So with me, and i also speak for my bro, be real and say what you feel, or just dont fukn say it at all!!!

 

 

"In a game where some peoples nameless anonymity maintains a conspiracy of silence and lies, only one word of truth, sounds like a pistol shot.” ―Forgottn author / edit Kyuss

 

 

 

[Damsel]

 What if I'm transgender ? I even wrote it on my profile when I log onto the game but sadly people don't read your profile in the game . Also I play a female character .

[LanaLove]

Oh a necro post...meh I haven't answered and now the body is warm again sooooo....

 

• Are you a male or female or other (if you’d rather not say that’s OK too)

  Female

• Have you ever run or considered running a character with a gender other than your own?

  Yes and I have. I always make a male avi whenever I enter a new MMO

• What is your motivation?

 For making a male avi? Well you asked...Honestly it is to see who are the lazy slobs and who cares about how they look. I see what the male options are for clothing and accessories as well as how many options there are for outfits. Some MMOs are more pitiful than others. It may seem pretty shallow however I still believe the clothes make the person. Happy bonus to doing this is I can also scout the community out in a relatively subtle manner. How are new people treated? What is the ratio? Are people anti social and clique locked or is local and world pretty active? Those that spend more that a passing moment around me know I am very outgoing. I consider myself very chipper and chatty. Unfortunately I also have a pretty low tolerance for mean people.

[6DarkRaven9]

Female, 21, paleskin redhead gamer who listens to metal and has a thing for sex.

 

No way, I tried once in singleplayer games and it's so uncomfortable. Plus I have no clue how to really act like a male other than act like I have the biggest penis in the world and every female wants to have it in her. XD

 

Playing as myself is way more comfortable. Never will try to have something hanging between my legs again.