So a 70 year old widow has been lonely for a long time, and finally feels comfortable with dating again.
Having established this in her mind, she decided to try an online dating website. She put in her profile a specific criteria that her next to-be-husband would have to meet.
He must not beat her. He must not run away. He must be good in bed. Weeks go by, and, predictably she received a lot of responses, but none of them seemed to fit the bill.
One evening, as she was beginning to lose hope, she hears her doorbell ring. Looking through the peephole, she sees nothing.
"Those damn kids..." she thought. But no, the doorbell rings yet again. This time, she opens the door, looks left, and looks right.
'Down here!' she hears.
The widow looks down and sees a man with no arms, and no legs. "Well, who are you?" she asks.
The man replies happily, 'Why, I am your dream husband!'
The widow looks perplexed and inquires, "How do you figure?"
The man gleams with pride and answers, 'Well, I have no arms, so I can't beat you up. And I've got no legs, so I can't run away.'
"Yes, but are you good in bed?" scoffs the widow.
'Ah...' the man replies, 'I rang the doorbell, didn't I?'