panCDCA
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Status Updates posted by panCDCA
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IT'S FUNNY YET SAD, THE SHOCKING REALITY OF WHAT AMERICANS FEEL ABOUT THEIR INDIVIDUAL HEALTH CAN BE SHOWN BY WHAT SOLD OUT FASTEST. TOILET PAPER.
ONE WOULD THINK, THERE IS A VIRAL DISEASE KILLING PEOPLE, MAYBE I SHOULD BUY SOME FRESH PRODUCE TO STRENGTHEN MY IMMUNITY AND DEFENSES.... NO, AMERICANS THOUGHT, "I'LL NEED TO SHIT".
AND YOU WONDER WHY THIS NATION REFUSES TO VOTE FOR UNIVERSAL HEALTHCARE AND WHY SO MANY ARE SO WILLING TO OPEN REGARDLESS THE DANGERS OF A NEW WAVE......JUST LOOK AT WHAT SOLD OUT.
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- chloe, OLESYA and SusanLouisa
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I was not one of those who stocked up and hoarded and now when ever I reach the end of a roll there is a bit of panic in my chest despite the full package still in the pantry. You have to wonder though just how long these people thought they were going to be in lockdown. Years? It's been a couple months now and still no loo roll on the shelves. LOL
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AND NOW FOR SOME EDUCATIONAL WORD HUMOR.
A truck loaded with thousands of copies of Roget's Thesaurus crashed yesterday losing its entire load. Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, confused, shocked, rattled, paralyzed, dazed, bewildered, mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, speechless, and perplexed.
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Sounds like a plan I'll join you.
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FUNNIEST THING I HAVE READ IN WEEKS, READ ALL THE WAY TO THE END.
Maine crime update
Lt. Tim Cotton, Bangor Police Department - Our officers were called to settle a dispute between a man and a woman on the east side of Bangor. It seems that the lady of the house had become somewhat frustrated by her partner’s lack of initiative with his day-to-day obligations.
While one officer stayed outside with the lady, another peacemaker entered the house to gain more insight into what was causing the rift.
Inside the house, our officer observed what appeared to be an Xbox controller flung a considerable distance from where gaming operations would typically be undertaken.
It was clear to our twenty-something silver-badged part-time gamer that someone made sure that the formerly ergonomically perfect device would no longer be easily connected through the magic of Bluetooth technology.
What had once been this sad man’s reliable gaming companion was now a disheveled and destitute device with missing analog sticks and a D-Pad that was damaged in a most dastardly manner. “Dang, this dame was downright dark,” the cop thought to himself, hoping that she could not hear his internal voice.
“But, why,” he said under his coffee-tainted breath.
The victim was ready to open up about how this all came to be. He explained that he had been gaming frequently, and, for some time, she had relayed to him that it was much too long. Our officer, afraid to ask the tough questions, only moved his eyebrows, upward, slightly.
The man continued that he had remained jobless for the last three years. During that time, he became adept at gaming full-time. Sure, the pay wasn’t great, but the benefits were excellent. He never had to leave the house.
Our officer felt that he needed a little more information, he waited. The sad man continued by explaining that the lady of the house had arrived home tonight with a head of steam that could not be stopped.
She disarmed him of his beloved controller and sent it into an orbit around the room. The damage was done, feelings were hurt. It was clear that she wanted him to stop playing with the Xbox. He told the officer that he took full responsibility for driving her to do the damage to his second love.
The officer walked outside to get a statement from the lady regarding the events of the evening. Sure, he was scared. He surely would not be telling her the amount of time that he personally spends gaming. There was no reason to take this event to DEFCON 7.
The woman said that they had been together for five years, and the man had been jobless, and gaming, for the last three. She admitted to launching the device against a wall, and she was sorry, but she had reached the end of her rope.
The officer returned to the house. The gamer told him he would leave until things cooled down. The only physical altercation that took place was between the woman and the controller; it could be replaced.
The officer moved his eyebrows upward, one more time. The sad man grasped immediately that the upward movement of the eyebrow should be translated into the following sentence—“Maybe you shouldn’t replace the controller, at least, right away.”
The officer offered both parties a warning to quiet down. The man looked at our officer and asked his advice on what to do so that the couple could work through the rough spot. Our officer, knowing full well that the lady of the house was waiting to for his wise and reliable counsel, advised the man that it might be time to stop playing Xbox and find a job.
The man shared with the officers that he would begin to gather applications immediately.
Another successful intervention; the couple thanked the officers for coming by.
Immediately upon his arrival home that evening, our stalwart peacekeeper snuck over to his personal gaming area to make sure his controller was where he left it; it was.
He placed it carefully within the cabinet and shut the doors tightly. He snuck into his bed, working a little harder than normal not to wake up his partner.
She moved, slightly, as he stayed dead still. He determined that tomorrow she was getting waffles, in bed. -
20 20 24 hours ago I wanna be SEDATED
NOTHING TO SEE , NOWHERE TO GO HO
PUT ME IN WHEELCHAIR, GET ME ON A PLANE
HURRY HURRY HURRY BEFORE I GO INSANE
