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a warning for a dangerous place


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#81 Guest_Charly_*

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Posted 15 January 2018 - 12:37 AM

Never trust an edited post

 

Vertraue niemals einem bearbeiteten Beitrag


Edited by Charly, 15 January 2018 - 12:38 AM.


#82 Briana

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Posted 15 January 2018 - 03:30 AM

spoiler    i don't know why i reply this?


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#83 Deeborah

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Posted 15 January 2018 - 09:21 AM

i think people here are missing the point that my original post is not about finding a relationship here....at all. 

my point is that 3dx is an extremely addictive place, because it resembles RL so much, and offer you an escape from reality, just like drugs/alcohol would do. 

except this place looks far more "innocent".

 

That's a good and important warning. Yes it looks innoncent, and it can be terrible.

 

But it can also be also so amazing !

 

This place IS a game but with a difference (for me) with all other games, the people that "play" here can have a totally different approach, target, goal.

And the communication system is so poor that realising you interact with people that have a very different approach from yours can take  a long time and during this time, you can build a relation in your mind that after some time appear totally disappointing.

These huge differences can make terrible drama.

Choose wisely your friends.

Take time ...  a lot of time before letting your feeling get stronger with a person.

Discuss ... a lot and above all share with your friends YOUR view of what ou are looking for, what are your expectation ...

Put words on emotions.

Be honest, Be frank, take the risk to share progressively things that you do not dare to share and this before being too connected to the person that is becoming in your mind more than a friend.

I came here for just escaping from real life, and I found so much more than this.

But it is risky for your brain so reduce the risk taking your time and to keep the feet on the ground.

Real friend here are the one that will know to tell you to stop something that goes too fast.


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#84 AllisonStarlove

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Posted 15 January 2018 - 09:27 AM

The game is as dangerous as you make it, you have control over you actions and emotions.


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#85 alisonn

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Posted 15 January 2018 - 12:51 PM

The game is as dangerous as you make it, you have control over you actions and emotions.


that is simply false.
you have control over your actions, definitely. but if you think you have control over your Emotions, you have never felt a strong love, or grief before, Which is a shame.

you do not have control over your Emotions.
and Emotions can have an effect on your actions.
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#86 alisonn

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Posted 15 January 2018 - 12:55 PM

That's a good and important warning. Yes it looks innoncent, and it can be terrible.
 
But it can also be also so amazing !
 


oh definitely, it can (is) absolutely amazing.
i have found friends in 3dx that outshine friends i have irl.
it's great!
i even feel a stronger emotional connection to my 3dx wife, than any RL relationship i've had so far.
because you're forced to really connected and talk about everything.
that's what makes it so strong.
instead of aesthetics, you MUST focus on the characteristics and traits of other individuals.
that makes for a crazy strong bond.

but, it's also what keeps you stuck on here.
so, be careful with it.

#87 Togo

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Posted 15 January 2018 - 02:32 PM

Ok I am going to throw my two cents into the mix.

 

Yes this is a game and denying that fact is pointless.  But people who use this argument seem to stop there and not go any further. The fact the platform that we interact with each other with is a virtual one, does not make the subsequent emotions or reactions virtual too. If there was no small echo of real emotions none of us would be here. It is BECAUSE there are real emotional responses that online games in general are so much fun.

Maintaining that this is “just” a game and not admitting that real emotions get into the mix is for me just an excuse to not feel responsible for your actions and keeping an emotional distance to some of the potential hurt that can be inflicted.

But getting TO emotionally invested is the issue here. The OP’s (alisonn) point was a heads up to the people who start out in this game and haven’t gotten a feel for the right balance between having fun playing the game and utter heartbreak.

It’s a tough and sometimes painful learning curve and not all come out on the other side emotionally intact and that is the true problem.

Sadly this problem is not one that either the game nor the community can do anything about. We must accept the sad but ever so true fact that we are responsible for our own mental and emotional health.

But we can do like alisonn and say “Hey I have been through it and if you need to talk about it give me a shout and even though right now you feel like shit there is light at the end of the tunnel”


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#88 alisonn

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Posted 15 January 2018 - 03:25 PM

But we can do like alisonn and say “Hey I have been through it and if you need to talk about it give me a shout and even though right now you feel like shit there is light at the end of the tunnel”


so far this has been one of the, if not "the" best responses that has been made about my post.

you and athene seem to have truely understood the intent behind the post.
so, you, like her, have my respect.

and again, if you know anyone that needs a quick chat, or some help pushing past some hard times, you can always send them to me, i've learned a thing or two while I've been here, and in school.

*pets you a little, cause why not*
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#89 MaxPound

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Posted 11 February 2018 - 07:28 AM

Hi guys,

I realise I'm pretty late to the party in terms of this thread, but I've read through and thought a fresh perspective might be helpful to someone.

I purchased this game less than a week ago and I've already noticed common themes that feed into what has been discussed here.

1. Divergence from intended usage; what I mean by this is people, for whatever reason, are using 3DXChat, which is entirely marketed as a sex game, as a kind of IMVU/EHarmony hybrid. When people take something as brutal as a sex game full of gangbang rooms, BDSM junkies and fetish fiends and try to use it as something else there is bound to be mental collateral. When your "hubby", who you think is only yours, can just join a "FUTA PARADISE" room and mindlessly screw anyone with no perceived consequences that is a one way trip to toxicity. There are endless temptations in a red light district game and even those with good will power may find it too hard to resist.
1a. "Colds"; I was seeing this everywhere almost immediately. I quickly understood it to mean people being disgusted with a random, or someone they don't know very well, coming up to them and clicking "kiss cheek", partner" etc. I get it, aggressive unwanted advances suck and make people feel cheap and objectified. But, if this is a huge problem for you, perhaps a sex game isn't your vibe. The mechanic is too easy to use for a horny guy fresh out of account creation looking for what he was sold.
2. Perceived drama; Of course, in any social scene there is going to be the kings and queens. What gets me is people's willingness to buy into it. if you use 3DXChat to escape reality surely you'd try to avoid this completely, because that's a huge headache for people IN reality. In my experience stirrers and trolls only persist because they are given oxygen. It struck me that people were quite aware who some of these serial drama rousers were and readily complained about the fact, yet they hadn't thought to just use the ignore mechanic (or had and maybe just subconsciously liked the drama).

The above isn't intended to belittle anyone, or discount the meaning/emotions/connections they draw from this game. It is merely to provide an outsiders perspective on real facts/issues that may no longer be clear to you or you hadn't realised. There is probably more I haven't thought of but that's all I have so far.

On the mental illness side of thing; if you are in the throes of crippling sadness or inability to function day-to-day seek help! There is a lot of knowledge, medical help and support networks for mental illness these days. Believe me, as someone with bipolar I understand how bad it can get. Your health should always come first, because everyone is capable of making an amazing contribution to the world we live in.

Thanks for reading.

#90 ExHaran

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Posted 15 May 2018 - 08:12 PM

that is simply false.
you have control over your actions, definitely. but if you think you have control over your Emotions, you have never felt a strong love, or grief before, Which is a shame.

you do not have control over your Emotions.
and Emotions can have an effect on your actions.

I just passed by and noticed something interesting. Looks like I`m too late. 

What is Love and how it can be strong or not? Ain`t you think that everyone have a pretty different opinions about this word? I think Love is not a feel or emotions, for example. On my opinion it is something placed everywhere, connected with everything and everyone, without start and finish, without emotions or feelings. This is a state or quality of a yourself when you do not judge someone, you do not measure or criticize someone, you just glowing with what you have found in thyself and this light spreads in all directions and is available to absolutely everyone. So... "simply false", isn`t it? I think you felt a strong passion or something else. It wasn't love, I'm sorry about that.

My condolences.

 

have a good day/play. 



#91 Briana

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Posted 16 May 2018 - 03:46 AM

I just passed by and noticed something interesting. Looks like I`m too late. 

What is Love and how it can be strong or not? Ain`t you think that everyone have a pretty different opinions about this word? I think Love is not a feel or emotions, for example. On my opinion it is something placed everywhere, connected with everything and everyone, without start and finish, without emotions or feelings. This is a state or quality of a yourself when you do not judge someone, you do not measure or criticize someone, you just glowing with what you have found in thyself and this light spreads in all directions and is available to absolutely everyone. So... "simply false", isn`t it? I think you felt a strong passion or something else. It wasn't love, I'm sorry about that.

My condolences.

 

have a good day/play. 



#92 AllisonStarlove

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Posted 16 May 2018 - 04:41 AM

Its a fuckin game, your own fault if you get suckered..



#93 ZeeZee

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Posted 26 May 2018 - 05:05 AM

Amazing to read the thoughts and opinions of those who preceded me in this world! I have been in RLC and SL and am looking for a place in 3DCHAT to be with like minded friends!


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