So hi, I'm Kira. I play three different characters/avatars. The one I will reveal here is Wanderergirl, for now.
I'm a writer and lover of RP and sex >:)
This Diary will be full of my personal and subjective opinions about my experiences in 3DX Chat.
So, I'm mainly heterosexual. (Mainly? What does that mean? ...Well don't worry about it right now >_>)
There's an increasing social trend among heterosexual men in the 3DXchat community. It's making it hard to find partners I mesh well with sexually.
My recent difficulty is finding partners who like what I like and understand what I mean when I say what I like. I'm not super complicated, and I don't have many unconventional fetishes. I'm fairly close to vanilla, actually. But I have specific ways I like to have sex, and I assumed there would be a lot of men who would like the ways I like. Nope! At least not lately. And this may be due to me being unconventional in a minor, but odd way, I think.
I get really bored with receiving oral. IRL, it feels good, don't get me wrong. But seeing my avatar get it and having it described to me by my partners does little to nothing for me. It's the kind of thing that just feels good IRL, but isn't fun to watch in a simulation. And maybe. oddly so, I don't find it pleasing described in writing either.
So, I think to myself, "this won't be a problem, men probably would love to skip giving oral if they know a woman doesn't care for it". It should be a boon, I'd assume.
But it's not. Trying to get this across to men either disappoints and/or confuses most of them.
Every man who gives me oral thinks they are different from other men. When I ask them why they do it, they all have said "because other men don't." But IME, this just isn't true. I have met very very few men who won't try to give me oral even when I hint that I don't want it. And usually, it is one of the first things they do, and they won't give it up until I have an orgasm from it. Though this usually ends with me finding an excuse to leave or having a long discussion with them to try and make them understand that I don't want to watch them describe licking a pussy raw!
How am I supposed to have an orgasm, or even want to write having one (>_>), when I'm not really enjoying the interaction. Having sex and watching it/reading it are different things. But even IRL, I don't crave oral too often. I tend to get turned on and wet very easily, so I will just mount my lover's cock and go at it!
But maybe I'm an odd woman for being like that, I guess? I try to do that in 3DXchat and men act like I am breaking a sacred convention or depriving myself... And I am left with a few theories because of their reactions.
1: It's about ego. Most men I meet may want a woman to orgasm first to make themselves feel in control and dominant and competent.
2: Or It's possible most men who don't "religiously" practice the oral-first method are "weeded out" of the community due to frequent rejection.
3: Most men might actually -enjoy- giving oral. It turns them on even more than vaginal sex does.
Theory 3 is the one I'd find hardest to believe, but what most men would answer (based on my experience) if asked due to the negative implications that would come with honestly admitting to theory 1 or 2.
Am I being too 'sciencey' about the whole thing? Maybe. But I'd love to figure this out. If I can find the right words to put in my profile to find men who would love a woman who doesn't usually want or need them to suck on her pussy for an hour (YES they will do this for an hour if I don't orgasm for them), it would help me find enjoyable partners much more easily.
What's the big deal, right? Any women who have bothered to read this far are probably wondering if this is a joke. Am I making a funny?
An hour of descriptive pussy-licking probably sounds incredible. But for me, I just get so bored. I can only describe my limited reactions to it so many times before it gets tedious.
Now, why I am like this when most other women don't seem to be is a whole other set of theories...
Maybe, deep down, I love being in control and need that control to enjoy sex? Maybe most men don't describe oral in a way I'd enjoy it? Maybe I'm a little tired of the large amount of Doms always trying to control when and how I orgasm?
Because it's not just about the oral. I like to have sex in a way where I get to be unrestrained. I want to participate, I want to interact, I want to describe doing things to my partner, I want to please them and have my actions make my partner moan. I have made a lot of partners cum by riding their cock until they couldn't hold it any longer... And I love that.
...... Maybe it -is- about control... Maybe I'm sort of a dom myself? And most men, I find, don't like not being in control.
So what's the point of this? I know there's guys out there who would be into what I'm into. I met them before... Just not any lately. And this could be because I need to get better at communication and figuring out how to best articulate what I want so I can put it in my profile.
Maybe I need to figure myself out a little more too.
So, while a lot of this entry probably seemed like complaining, I will end it with a positive message. I'm not discouraged.
I still meet great people, and it's nice to have guys attracted to me (^_^), so my wanderings continue.