Sage Stoner

The thing about children is, you can't explain to them why they shouldn't act like children. You just have to wait for them to grow up at their own pace.

It's a new year! But it's the same old me. Damn, some things never change . . .

There's a place in the world for a gambler / There's a burden that only he can bear / There's a place in the the world for a gambler / And he sees, oh yes, he sees

Amelia, it was just a false alarm.

Learn to work the saxophone, and I'll play just what I feel / Drink scotch whisky all night long and die behind that wheel / They got a name for the winners in the world. Well, I want a name when I lose / They call Alabama the Crimson Tide. Call me Deacon Blues.

Will you still need me / Will you still feed me / When I'm 64?

I know little children are supposed to sleep tight / That's why I got into the vodka one night / My parents were frantic, didn't know what to do / But I saw some crazy scenes before I was through / Do you think I was crazy? I might've been only three but I was swinging!

#MeaCulpa

Dear Lord, Give me the strength not to comment on the latest DJ controversy. Better still, give all those people something to do with their lives.

Looking through some photographs I found inside a drawer / I was taken by a photograph of you

‘Ear all, see all, say nowt. Eat all, sup all, pay nowt. And if ever thou does owt fer nowt – allus do it fer thissen

Shake the tree and let the leaves fall where they will . . .

Finished watching all the Hannibal Lecter movies . . . but I am still hungry! What to do, what to do?

Yes, I am in a dark mood and decided to watch all the Hannibal Lecter movies. Don't like it? Eat me!

"He will be maimed forever, becoming a mere spirit of malice that gnaws itself in the shadows, but cannot again grow or take shape." —Gandalf, explaining what happens to Forum Trolls if no one feeds them

Living this life is a bittersweet treat, don't ya know

"Castor and Pollux, blow me to Bermuda!" Merlin exclaimed and immediately vanished with a frightful roar.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep. But I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep. --Robert Frost

Put it down lightly you know how things can break, I can't forget the love we didn't make. The sun that didn't rise through the window that's not there, The way it didn't fall on your face and on your hair. What might have been? We'll never know, 'cause that's the way it didn't go.

The door you didn't walk through, the girl you didn't talk to, the light you didn't run that day; the call you didn't answer, the unrequited dancer, you met her glance and turned away . . .

Well, here we go again.

But take good care of your mother, And remember to be kind, When the pain of another will serve you to remind, That there are those who feel themselves exiled, On whom the fortune never smiled, And upon whose life the heartache has been piled. They're just looking for another lonely child.

Let the disappointments pass, Let the laughter fill your glass, Let your illusions linger until they shatter. Whatever you might hope to find, Among the thoughts that crowd your mind, There won't be many that ever really matter.

SPLHC Special Event: Guinevere and Kricky present The Saddest Songs You Ever Heard Jan 18 from 4-6 pm EST (9-11 pm GMT)