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Random musings of a dizzy sissy


Nektar

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Getting up at 4:30 AM on a Saturday is about as much fun as you'd expect. You know you should be staying in bed, all of your friends are after all (except for those who've just finished clubbing), but here you are, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes and waiting for the coffee to finish brewing. 12 hour weekend shifts blow. This is the life I lead.

 

There are, however, some rewards. As I step outside and head for my car, I am greeted by silence. I live in a fairly busy city, but you'd never guess so, based on the silence. No traffic sounds. No sirens. No screeching seagulls. No screeching junkies. The only sounds I hear as I walk down in the middle of the empty street is the crunching of the snow beneath my feet and the cycling of traffic lights.

 

For a brief moment, the city is mine.

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Today I visited an in-game BDSM showcase room. After experimenting with some rigs and at times accidentally impaling myself on the various mechanisms (and not in a good way) I came away with three reactions..

 

my first reaction was to have a chuckle at the creative and twisted minds of the people who made these wonderful contraptions. My second was to start imagining different rp scenarios with a Dom or Domme who knows these contraptions by heart. My third reaction was one of frustration.

 

Here are these amazing rigs, but they are limited by the poses the game currently offers. The fetish lifestyle is criminally underrepresented in its support in this game. Sure, enthusiasts have found their way to express themselves, but the game really needs more poses, more fetish wear, not to mention toys! I love this game, but it can be so much more. For the love of God hire someone to develop more content! :)

 

Until next time. Play safe :)

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  • 1 year later...

It's been a year. What happened? Where did I go? When will I be back?

It's hard to say, on all three counts. 2019 was the year when I had to get my life sorted out. Things were falling apart at work, at home, and inside. I had to take a break from everything and try to find my footing again. 

The good news is I'm back on my feet. Things worked out at my job, things have never been better at home, and fun-loving sissy of 2018 is finding her way back, slowly. Still, I kind of dread getting back up to speed on here. There were a lot of people on here who I claimed to care about who didn't get a word of warning before I pulled my vanishing act. I know I hurt at least two people because of it, and I need to make it right.

Very dramatic for a game that's about meeting people and having crazy sex with them, yes? Very much so. But I get a feeling 2020 is going to be a good year. More healing, more fun, less drama. Here's hoping 2020 will be good to you as well, dear reader.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Okay, time to chastise myself a bit.

It's my day off and I decide to go on a quick little morning stroll on 3dx. One interesting rendezvous after another occur, and by the time the endorphine high lifts and I finally log off and hop in the shower, it's nearly one o clock in the afternoon. For fuck's sake, Nektar, act your fucking age. You have things that need doing.

This is not any sort of "I'm leaving" post. This is just me being pissed at myself for losing track of time. Peace be with you, lovers!

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  • 3 weeks later...
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  • 1 month later...
On 5/20/2020 at 6:09 AM, Nektar said:

Springtime hayfever. Fuck my life. It's hard to feel sexy when you're sneezing, your eyes are watering and your head is pounding. 

Hayfever sounds unpleasant.  In an effort to bring levity, I am re-ordering the words in your post (more or less) to this:

'..feel sexy when your fuck pounding so hard your eyes in head are watering and you're sneezing.  It's Springtime.'

😉

Feel well.

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34 minutes ago, Travels said:

Hayfever sounds unpleasant.  In an effort to bring levity, I am re-ordering the words in your post (more or less) to this:

'..feel sexy when your fuck pounding so hard your eyes in head are watering and you're sneezing.  It's Springtime.'

😉

Feel well.

You're good people, Travels :)

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  • 3 months later...

Long time, no see, diary. Real life has been keeping me busy, and those few times I can take time out of my commitments the infamous "Cannot connect to server"-box is the first thing to greet me.

So, what to do when you're not able to embrace your inner strumpet? Believe it or not: gardening. Since becoming a homeowner I've become acquainted with the joys of pulling weeds and whacking moles. While it's lot of sweat and dirt (and not the fun kind) it's very meditative, and there's the satisfaction of watching the results of your efforts. 

But worry not, fam. Your favorite sissy trash-fire will be back. This tart has cravings that gardening won't satisfy.

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Though I rarely interact with my fellow sissies, femboys, CDs, what have you, when I'm online, the times I do I always find myself having fun. It's always interesting to get to know how they got to where they are now, how we differ, how we're alike, how they identify, what they are attracted to, real life experiences.

 

But the really fun stuff is exchanging tips and tricks, learning the "tools of the trade" so to speak 😁 Stuff like where to find outfits, make-up tips, what toys are the most mind blowing. Let's just say the last few conversations I've had have been "inspiring" ❤️

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  • 5 weeks later...

The power's out in my neighborhood. I used to live in Sweden's third largest city, so when there was a power outage it was usually fixed within the next hour or so. Now that I've moved out into the country side, we'll just have to see how it goes. I guess I should conserve my phone battery and not tap tappity tap away here :P

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  • 2 weeks later...

Things have been quite insane as of late:

* My partner and I buy a house.

* I'm about to get a new job that promises to be really sweet.

* My hair has grown to a length where I can begin to do real fun stuff with it.

* People are forced to keep their distance from one another, and no one looks down on the queer individual sitting by himself engrossed with his phone.

I feel terrible for saying it, but 2020 really is my year 😬

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Is it possible to be so thoroughly fucked that suddenly you realise that you're completely and utterly owned by the other? This is not the defined relationship of a master and slave, but rather like nature asserting itself. Predator and prey. Alpha and beta. There might be a bit of struggle, but it's just prelude. The outcome was never in question. There's something very liberating about knowing your place in the order of things.

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Rereading my own words from yesterday I've hit upon an epiphany.

Throughout my life I've always been a celebrant, which in this context is just a nicer way of saying fanatic. When I come across something that speaks to me I give in to it with the zeal of the recently converted. I read every book from an author, or I hunt down every issue of a magazine, or I listen to every song in the catalogue of some artist. I rarely approach something casually, when I can submerge myself fully into it. With such a disposition it's a wonder that I haven't found religion or some other cause to become the next in a long line of human sacrifice :P

I guess you could say I'm still looking for the right volcano to fling myself into.

 

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