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Serious question


CaptainDerek969

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Depends on how you look at it. You can be exclusive to them and if they can be open if you're willing to accept that, it's not cheating.  Then there is where you state you're exclusive to each other but one decides to have sex with someone else, that would be cheating.  That's if you're both on just one avi now if either have more then it's different.  You are tied to them in one avi not anymore.  While some consider that morally wrong others don't.  It all depends on how you feel about that but if you're both open and honest about what you want from the start, you can go from there.

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Couples should make their own rules they are happy with but in general  there are 3 kinds of open in my experience:

 

1. Open casual relationships  means just that..   play with others. 

2. Open relationship but with one lover / spouse who has priority. Play with others but with rules agreed by the couple.

3. Open relationship but only play with or in the presence of their main lover.

 

Exclusive relationships  - no playing except with their one and only lover or spouse.

 

In answer to your question, although on the surface, it does not seem fair that one can have 2 ,lovers and the other has to remain faithful, it depends on the conversation and agreements you both reached.

 

In a D/s  relationship, many of the Doms will play while restricting the play of subs, some even being faithful. 

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Sorry to say but I don't think an open relation will last long if just one of the partners takes all benefits of it...Usually when one partner decides to be exclusive he/she is secretly looking for an exclusive relationship and at some point jealousy will come up and that is probably the downfall...And you question points in that direction.

 

To answer it short: No, the exclusive partner has no right to accuse the other of cheating.

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Let me make sure I'm following this.

Two people, Able and Baker.

 

Able offers to be exclusive with Baker.  Baker says "no".  

Able has sex with someone else.  Baker says that Able is cheating.

 

The misunderstanding seems revolve around how the two of them interpreted Baker saying "no."  

 

It sounds like Able interpreted "no" as neither of them would be exclusive, while Baker interpreted it as Able would be exclusive but Baker wouldn't.  The two of them need to clarify that point.

 

The unasked question is whether the situation Baker seems to want (Able exclusive, Baker not) is "fair."  That is entirely for Able to decide.  Whether or not any of us would go for a situation like that doesn't matter.  What matters is what Able is willing to do.

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It’s more complicated, then. I’m sorry I didn’t spot that first off. I do still feel it’d be good if you could talk about what you both want. At least then you’ve both given it a good try if you can’t work something out. I guess it’s a bit like trying to match your expectations of each other.

 

I hope whatever happens ends up being for the best.

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Okay, so you're Able and she's Baker.  You told her you'd be exclusive, and she said "no," not because she wanted to see others but because she didn't want to hold you back.

 

After she said, "No" did you have sex with anyone other than her?

 

If you did, your misunderstanding is that she wants exclusivity and didn't mean "no" when she said it.  She wanted you to continue offering and eventually convince her that you meant it.

If you did not have sex with anyone else, then you should get to the bottom of why she thinks you did.

 

Tlaero 

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So you did have sex with someone else and you're asking if that constitutes cheating?

 

That really should be a discussion between you and her. If we all here agreed that it wasn't or we all agreed that it was I don't think it would change what you do next.

 

The past doesn't matter as much as the present. You need to decide whether you want to continue with her. If so, apologize and have a discussion about the future without the baggage of the past. If, on the other hand, this seems like too much drama, cut your losses and find someone who makes you happy instead of someone who makes you sad.

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I have not heard of many exclusive relationships on here ending well. I would have been happy to because I love her but I enjoy being able to rp

Just to tell you, roleplay is mostly seen as an untrustable relation between 2 person in this game, what matter you will say to convince her you're honest in your main caracter. I had the same issue in the past, my partner wanted me exclusively for her but I couldn't accept to put my roleplay in second place for her. I always used my other avi's to have sex with others in game, it became a problem because my main avi was linked to my other avi's and she pretended I putted her on the side when I played my other caracters. She had difficulty to accept this situation when she logged in game during the time i was in game playing on my other caracters.Some ppl's taking this game as Real Life and consider main caracter using different avi's for roleplay is cheating because it's controled by the same person.At the end you will be called mind player for doing so.

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If in an open relationship where you said you would be exclusive for your partner and they said no because they were worried it would cause them to lose their partner. Is it right for the partner that said no to accuse the other of cheating? Let me know what y'all think

 

it is all about trust and clearly defined rules both agree on and both are happy with. Never forget to define some rules.

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I never liked the words "open" and "exclusive" because there's no real line, where cheating begins in 3DX. For some people it's already cheating when you slowdance with someone else and for some it's cheating when you even sit together in a chair.

 

So that's why I use the words "trust". If my partner wants to have other lovers and I trust my partner, then I see no reason why I should deny her that. But the same stuff applies to me. If she isn't able to see me with others, then I would say to her "If you can't see me with others, then I don't want to see you with others"

 

But there's a way to make that work: By giving some rules. For example: No public sex with others, no public slowdances with others.

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My guess is that "open" relationships are so much better with older men as they have enough maturity so they won't get jealous every time there partner does something with another guy.

I'm with such a person (no, I won't reveal his name either Rob) and he leaves me plenty of room to do what I like. I won't be jealous if he tells me he had sex with another girl either.

But when we are together, I have the feeling that it's special, not like any other guy I've been with so far. It's the magic of 3dx :)

And I'm not an idiot... I'm not on 24/7, so I wouldn't even know if he sees anyone else when I'm not there, or even does so with an alt...

 

Kiss, Layla

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I'm not sure 'open' relationships are possible at all, but if they are it does require great communication, terrific honesty and incredible trust on the part of everybody involved. I know that's not what Dereck is asking but when you think about his question so many related ideas crop up.

 

For me I only need one person that close, my rl husband. I have great friends both rl and in game so that obviously affects my approach to these things.

 

Role players, of course, will see it differently. Which is fine, but there is a point where role play and something more 'real', for want of a better way of putting it, overlap. The scope for problems and misunderstandings at that point is ..................... well, like ................ lots. Behind every avi, even one role playing, is a human being with feelings.

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