Players ask for proof of gender if you play a woman?

[Perimede]

Just picking up on this. First though @Ex to avoid any misunderstandings - Occams Razor because on the one hand you succeeded in reducing a complicated issue down to one sentence really well, and without losing the point too. On the other I felt you missed the idea that perceived friends turning on you can be hurtful, even in a game.

 

It seems to me that this discussion is now revolving the idea of how close people play to their rl character. For me it's pretty close - OK appearance wise it's only a passing similarity but the person is me. For some people it's very different. Consider this - if someone who plays in the way I do gets close to someone's role play character, thinking they're friends, like the kind you might consider taking in to rl, it can be quite hurtful to discover that they're not anything like that at all. If they are playing another role as an alt and that role is someone who hates you, that can be pretty shitty yeah. It is up to the role player to deal with this and open up if things get too close.

 

Perhaps more of an issue is that a bloke playing as a woman will tend, in my opinion, to play in a manner he would like a woman to behave. This may not be anything like how a woman would really behave. People they interact with may start to think women generally behave that way ...................................................................... you see the point, yeah?

 

I see this as being behind some of the wierdness we get in game, things like random huggers, cold sex/apartment invites, possibley even the naked wankers. Some guys seem to think that women are turned on my knob pics or that all they have to do is drop their underpants and we lie back and love it, or that size is the be all and all. I can well understand that men who play true to themselves might feel they need to get a sense of the gender of the person they are interacting with, but I think they are a minority of those who ask. Those genuine men will take the trouble to get to know you and make their own decision. The ones who don't and demand you prove your gender are less interested in you for who you are and probably only interested in one thing.

 

So it's prolly OK just to iggie those people who insist on proof, but perhaps be a little more charitable to those who simply ask, maybe respond with 'I am a person you know, not just tits and a fanny'

[Lux Interior]

Well, the problem with Ex is that she is quick on the trigger.

Seen enough of hypocrites in this game who are quick to point their finger on somebody for things they do themsleves (who are you? how old are you? are you what you tell you are?) . One more doesn't add much to the number.

[Perimede]

Maybe, Lux, she's just interested in people and your way of playing the game is incompatible with hers? I don't really know, I don't know either of you. I just read her posts that way. I suppose I just accept people as they present themselves while being aware that there is a risk of getting hurt. I'd rather that than not trust anybody.

[Lux Interior]

I'm fine with that.

But, like I sad..practice what you preach and don't be a hypocrite.

When somebody asks me who I am in RL, how old I am and stuff like that I'll gladly tell the truth. Nothing to hide.

Then you read on forums that those questions irritate the same person who asked them, you just have to tell WTF?

I found that this is the usual behavior of many players. I red many topics on forums with ppl telling I would never do this and this after I watched them

talking sh** about ppl and accusing them of anything in WC.

[☙𝔼𝕩❧]

You ignored me for the 4th time ExHaran. That tells a lot about you.

That tells a lot about you. Think about it.

 

Well, the problem with Ex is that she is quick on the trigger.

Seen enough of hypocrites in this game who are quick to point their finger on somebody for things they do themsleves (who are you? how old are you? are you what you tell you are?) . One more doesn't add much to the number.

I have no problem. U have a problem. Ill explain u what is a hypocrite. One who tell you -"don`t do that! it is a bad thing", but this one do the same thing, but he justifies himself by saying that his truth is better than everyone else's.. Why don`t you put in your profile how you act sometimes? why dont you warn ppl about it? cuz u dont give a shit about people. Thats why. Typical hypocrite.

I'm fine with that.

But, like I sad..practice what you preach and don't be a hypocrite.

When somebody asks me who I am in RL, how old I am and stuff like that I'll gladly tell the truth. Nothing to hide.

Then you read on forums that those questions irritate the same person who asked them, you just have to tell WTF?

I found that this is the usual behavior of many players. I red many topics on forums with ppl telling I would never do this and this after I watched them

talking sh** about ppl and accusing them of anything in WC.

I said, don`t touch me anymore. Why do you bad understand this simple words? Because you need to be clear. I will repeat to you last time. Don`t touch me anymore.

[Lux Interior]

Who is touching you? You're deluding yourself Ex.

Remove ignore from messages so you can hear my story cause I don't bring that kind of sh*** in public.

You said I don't give a shit about ppl? Well, you know who my friends are. You can go and ask them If I don't give a shit about them.

You can ask anyone when and if I ever argued with somebody about something. You're the first person I'm arguing about something and still I don't see the reason for it.

How the fuck you can even tell I don't give a shit about ppl? You're freaking serious?

And no, I didn't close the conversation with you yesterday, my power went off during storm after you wrote let's talk about game.

And guess what you did? Another iggy. 

I step on the podium - iggy. Second iggy- i don't even rembmber. Third iggy - some totally idle discussion on forums. 4th iggy - you step in here and point your heavy artillery on me and start to fire

So, a really rational type of play.

Meanwhile - I never ever said one bad word to you. I just replied to your questions.

It was you who asked who are you? how old are you? do you know this avi? who is he/she? do you know that avi? who is he/she?

If i knew then that all this will end like that I would reply with none of you business.

[☙𝔼𝕩❧]

Ill answer u inside ur post, here too much words.

Just picking up on this. First though @Ex to avoid any misunderstandings - Occams Razor because on the one hand you succeeded in reducing a complicated issue down to one sentence really well, and without losing the point too. On the other I felt you missed the idea that perceived friends turning on you can be hurtful, even in a game.

I bad understand it.What means perceived? Your friends is your friends.You cant hurt them and they cant hurt you. I don`t have other types of friends. I didnt get you.

 

It seems to me that this discussion is now revolving the idea of how close people play to their rl character.

You can play character similar with thyself, but you cant play exactly it. Here is a mistake. Or again I didn`t get you.

For me it's pretty close - OK appearance wise it's only a passing similarity but the person is me. For some people it's very different. Consider this - if someone who plays in the way I do gets close to someone's role play character, thinking they're friends, like the kind you might consider taking in to rl, it can be quite hurtful to discover that they're not anything like that at all. If they are playing another role as an alt and that role is someone who hates you, that can be pretty shitty yeah. It is up to the role player to deal with this and open up if things get too close.

It happens in real life too. Not a big problem. Just pass it by.

 

Perhaps more of an issue is that a bloke playing as a woman will tend, in my opinion, to play in a manner he would like a woman to behave. This may not be anything like how a woman would really behave. People they interact with may start to think women generally behave that way ...................................................................... you see the point, yeah?

That's strange opinion on my opinion. It is about stereotypes in our world. I heard it many times in my school,college. Woman shouldn`t do this,that and that after that and so on. In fact, I can behave as I like and better don`t teach me, yeah ? I will show you what is a worst behavior. Think twice next time about stereotypes.

I have a friend who plays a woman,but he seriously shy cuz he have this information in his profile and looks like this fact don`t give him to play relaxively. thats sucks.

 

I see this as being behind some of the wierdness we get in game, things like random huggers, cold sex/apartment invites, possibley even the naked wankers. Some guys seem to think that women are turned on my knob pics or that all they have to do is drop their underpants and we lie back and love it, or that size is the be all and all. I can well understand that men who play true to themselves might feel they need to get a sense of the gender of the person they are interacting with, but I think they are a minority of those who ask. Those genuine men will take the trouble to get to know you and make their own decision. The ones who don't and demand you prove your gender are less interested in you for who you are and probably only interested in one thing.

 

So it's prolly OK just to iggie those people who insist on proof, but perhaps be a little more charitable to those who simply ask, maybe respond with 'I am a person you know, not just tits and a fanny'

 

I saw ur points.Something nice,somewhere I stay my opinion without changes. Thx for spending your time. Interesting discussion.

[☙𝔼𝕩❧]

Who is touching you? You're deluding yourself Ex.

Remove ignore from messages so you can hear my story cause I don't bring that kind of sh*** in public.

You said I don't give a shit about ppl? Well, you know who my friends are. You can go and ask them If I don't give a shit about them.

You can ask anyone when and if I ever argued with somebody about something. You're the first person I'm arguing about something and still I don't see the reason for it.

How the fuck you can even tell I don't give a shit about ppl? You're freaking serious?

And no, I didn't close the conversation with you yesterday, my power went off during storm after you wrote let's talk about game.

And guess what you did? Another iggy. 

I step on the podium - iggy. Second iggy- i don't even rembmber. Third iggy - some totally idle discussion on forums. 4th iggy - you step in here and point your heavy artillery on me and start to fire

So, a really rational type of play.

Meanwhile - I never ever said one bad word to you. I just replied to your questions.

It was you who asked who are you? how old are you? do you know this avi? who is he/she? do you know that avi? who is he/she?

If i knew then that all this will end like that I would reply with none of you business.

How long time did u made this tales? reported.

[Lux Interior]

rofl..there is no hope for you.

Last thing I'll ask from you is to remove that screenshot with me from your topic.

It's not polite to post screenshots of convos on forum. 

[Perimede]

/me puts on her specs and peers at Lux and Ex like her Gran does when she's telling her off about something - yeah she still does, the fact that I'm a grown woman makes no difference, she's my Gran and at 93 she's beyond reproach :-)

 

Seriously though, and back to the topic - most of the time you can play in the way you like and if people don't like it then they can go stick their heads up a dead bird's bum. However, it is equally important for people to be mndful of others and it is annoying, at best, to be asked to prove your gender - like in an on-line world how do you do it. Yeah I know the lengths to which some people have had to go to do it and then had it thrown back at them. If you're one of those people who can't get to know people and make your own decisions about them, should you be playing the game? Yeah I know that sounds harsh, it's not meant that way - just that this is a complicated topic so different aspect of the way peopel respond to each other become relevant. Being considerate goes a long to way to making 3dx life better for everybody.

 

To link to other threads about related topics it seems to me that people are looking for 3dx Chat to evolve in such a way as to allow the idea that people are OK unless proved otherwise to take hold. This will take time but is possible now the mods are taking a stand against bad behaviour.

[☙𝔼𝕩❧]

/me puts on her specs and peers at Lux and Ex like her Gran does when she's telling her off about something - yeah she still does, the fact that I'm a grown woman makes no difference, she's my Gran and at 93 she's beyond reproach :-)

 

Seriously though, and back to the topic - most of the time you can play in the way you like and if people don't like it then they can go stick their heads up a dead bird's bum. However, it is equally important for people to be mndful of others and it is annoying, at best, to be asked to prove your gender - like in an on-line world how do you do it. Yeah I know the lengths to which some people have had to go to do it and then had it thrown back at them. If you're one of those people who can't get to know people and make your own decisions about them, should you be playing the game? Yeah I know that sounds harsh, it's not meant that way - just that this is a complicated topic so different aspect of the way peopel respond to each other become relevant. Being considerate goes a long to way to making 3dx life better for everybody.

 

To link to other threads about related topics it seems to me that people are looking for 3dx Chat to evolve in such a way as to allow the idea that people are OK unless proved otherwise to take hold. This will take time but is possible now the mods are taking a stand against bad behaviour.

What mods ?

[Lilcal]

Hiya Neydalisse..   First a big welcome to you!  Thought Id throw my two cents into your topic... 

 

As to your original question, as said many times before, you dont have to do a darn thing your not comfortable with here.   I have been playing these types of games for over 8 years and have never once been asked to prove that I was a woman.  Asked for rl pics?  Of course.. Im one who begs and whines for them.  LOL of my friends of course.. not because I need proof of anything but just because Im a perv and like them.  My friendship however is not dependent upon them.  

 

I do want to add that earlier it was said that by reading your post you would get a good idea of what the game is all about.. I totally disagree there.  I dont think that these forums are an accurate depiction of the game as a whole.  There is a very small number of players active in these forums.. compared to the number of people in the game.  The fact is, the game is what you make of it.  If you always want drama.. you will always have drama..  if you want real friends.. they are there.. if you just want to roleplay... that is there too.  Something and/or someone for everyone.  Give it a try!!  If what your into is a bunch of pervs who run their mouths in local until everyone wants them to shut up.. look me up when ya get in world!  Hope to see you there!!

[Lilcal]

Yaaaaay  I have been having picachu withdrawls!   What would I do without ya Rob?!?

[chaostika]

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quick Tikanese Forumpost-jump . .. ...

... .. . 
into a topic off a subject @ 3DX, that im actually sickNtiered of! what? WHAT? i dont have 2 read it or post it and pardon me, what?! wtf!? if i dont like aka leave n play a other gane?! how about u go and f *** urself for a sex aeh sec hahaaa - and 4 the protocol aka 3dxchat logbook: only seriously joking, what else and if i had time - id laugh! #haveAgoodDay #untschuess

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ps:

 

 

 

 

#the #end

 

 

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Edited May 10, 2018 by chaostika

[chaostika]

sorry guyz - i was just "quickly" editing the spoiler above || and the fu** *** damn forum standard value with [the picture-limit of max 10 pics] after a long, long, time "caught" me again #grrrrrrrr and so: #justfishing #therest #of #the #****ing #spoilerjob2.0 of above down here and then even quicker - out and off on and to #the #road #again
 

 

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ps: ... .. . again n def the last one:

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hits send and clicks 'X' for close n thinks: why the hell is/was 
[he|N|she] evn postn n wastn Lifetime n server discspace on a subject, that ... .. . 'X' <=-

 

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  Edited May 10, 2018 by chaostika

[Perimede]

Hmmm, I'm not sure what Chaostika is trying to say ..............................................

 

@Ex - the mods do act if people report stuff, and rightly so. Yeah I know most of us would prefer a more proactive sort of moderation but the way it is does work if people do take the trouble to make reports ....................... oh and grizzling a bit on the forums seems to help too.

 

I suppose one aspect that's not yet appeared, well I can't find it while I'm writing this, is that misunderstandings can happen very easily here because the only guide we have is what people say, no facial expressions, very limited body language. OK with proper friends these can easily be sorted by talking about stuff but there are people who seem to delight in making mountains out of molehills and cause far more trouble than either their numbers deserve. They do reveal themselves in time but not until after they've stirred up some sort of drama.

[☙𝔼𝕩❧]

Hmmm, I'm not sure what Chaostika is trying to say ..............................................

chaostica is ok. I`m not sure too... but she`s ok.

@Ex - the mods do act if people report stuff, and rightly so. Yeah I know most of us would prefer a more proactive sort of moderation but the way it is does work if people do take the trouble to make reports ....................... oh and grizzling a bit on the forums seems to help too.

got you. I  used to understand this word as a modifications in some games too lol

I suppose one aspect that's not yet appeared, well I can't find it while I'm writing this, is that misunderstandings can happen very easily here because the only guide we have is what people say, no facial expressions, very limited body language. OK with proper friends these can easily be sorted by talking about stuff but there are people who seem to delight in making mountains out of molehills and cause far more trouble than either their numbers deserve. They do reveal themselves in time but not until after they've stirred up some sort of drama.

 

Misunderstandings always was and not only because of .. facial expressions, very limited body language. Because of not so correct english for example or some slang too. If you both are polite, you`re will understand everything in good way. If not, we have a 'report' button. Where will we find a good moderators ? Here was a bad story about moderators. Nothing good. The end was not too happy.

[☙𝔼𝕩❧]

I speak tikanese... she is basically saying...........    not this shit again for the 100th time.

lol thank you ! much appreciate it

[☙𝔼𝕩❧]

yw, that wasnt a joke, thats what she actually said lol

I guess you bad understood me. I really appreciate it, without jokes ;3

[Briana]

I think it's a Joke...but I'm not sure anymore the joke is really a joke, seriously I think now it's not a joke in fact...anyway, have a nice day. lol

[Perimede]

So it seems that someone's genuine concerns about people demanding proof of gender is 'shit' now. Or do I read these last few post incorrectly?

[☙𝔼𝕩❧]

two opposite sides always been and will be.

In some tradition it is called - Love. Some action between two sides ^^

[Lilcal]

So it seems that someone's genuine concerns about people demanding proof of gender is 'shit' now. Or do I read these last few post incorrectly?

As I stated earlier... If someone always wants drama, they will always have it.  As illustrated by Perimede right there.

 

I dont speak Tikaneese like Rob does.. but it is my opinion that no one was saying the OP was shit.. Just the way, to use your own term, "you people" turn everything into the same old debate.  I tend to agree.  Shakes my head emphatically.

[Perimede]

Who said you people? Can I quote myself here for emphasis ' ....................... concerns about people demanding ..........................'. The only specific group of people the OP was referring to are those who insist on doing it.

 

Seriously though, topics related to gender issues will continue to crop up and be discussed until such time as women generally, and the people who support them, feel that sufficient progress has been made towards equality. Basically until people generally recognise that women and men are equal in terms of ability, or any other yardstick you chose to apply. OK a specific woman may be better than a specific man at say ................. designing software, for example. A specific man may be better than a specific woman at say .................... caring for someone. It is assumptions of roles, not just work roles but relationship roles and sexual roles, based on gender and not ability, or choice, that is frustrating. It is the belief of certain people, mostly men. who believe they can abuse women that is offensive. Until both, and any other idiosyncrasies, die out you (as in those people who find gender issues tiresome to see in any forum) will just have to get used to it cropping up from time to time. Within 3dx there are some people, mostly men, whose view of women is not altogether wholesome. To try and close down any thread that diverts into related gender issues is playing directly into the hands of the people who see women as inferior in some way.

 

As I've said in a different thread, 3dx Chat forums provide an almost unique opportunity to investigate this stuff - diverse user base, very diverse cultural beliefs and a real ooportunity to improve people's attitudes, and not just to women, across the globe. 3dx, as a sex game, is basically about interactions between genders, isn't it a good thing if the user population become better at it?

 

Back to the OP - isn't this thread about how certain people, most likely men for obvious reasons in 3dx, demand to know your rl gender before they interact with you? It is the demand that is cause for concern. It is also a symptom of the lack of women playing the game. In 3dx you have to accept people as they present themselves. If you need to know more it will most likely come out as you get to know the person better. You can always ask but you have to accept what the other person tells you. If you can't then I guess you should look elsewhere for your jollies.

[☙𝔼𝕩❧]

Who said you people? Can I quote myself here for emphasis ' ....................... concerns about people demanding ..........................'. The only specific group of people the OP was referring to are those who insist on doing it.

 

Seriously though, topics related to gender issues will continue to crop up and be discussed until such time as women generally, and the people who support them, feel that sufficient progress has been made towards equality. Basically until people generally recognise that women and men are equal in terms of ability, or any other yardstick you chose to apply. OK a specific woman may be better than a specific man at say ................. designing software, for example. A specific man may be better than a specific woman at say .................... caring for someone. It is assumptions of roles, not just work roles but relationship roles and sexual roles, based on gender and not ability, or choice, that is frustrating. It is the belief of certain people, mostly men. who believe they can abuse women that is offensive. Until both, and any other idiosyncrasies, die out you (as in those people who find gender issues tiresome to see in any forum) will just have to get used to it cropping up from time to time. Within 3dx there are some people, mostly men, whose view of women is not altogether wholesome. To try and close down any thread that diverts into related gender issues is playing directly into the hands of the people who see women as inferior in some way.

 

As I've said in a different thread, 3dx Chat forums provide an almost unique opportunity to investigate this stuff - diverse user base, very diverse cultural beliefs and a real ooportunity to improve people's attitudes, and not just to women, across the globe. 3dx, as a sex game, is basically about interactions between genders, isn't it a good thing if the user population become better at it?

 

Back to the OP - isn't this thread about how certain people, most likely men for obvious reasons in 3dx, demand to know your rl gender before they interact with you? It is the demand that is cause for concern. It is also a symptom of the lack of women playing the game. In 3dx you have to accept people as they present themselves. If you need to know more it will most likely come out as you get to know the person better. You can always ask but you have to accept what the other person tells you. If you can't then I guess you should look elsewhere for your jollies.

I agree with most of your words. But... How Obama said: "We can! But..."

I just noticed that gender questions and disscusions mostly provoke some tricky persons here to change one way to another way and start a drama again(about who play and what play e t c), thats why many people don`t like if those gender threads starts again. Thatsall.