MinervaX Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 So.... today I did something I should have done a long time ago. I told someone a truth about that I should have told them about 2 years ago. In doing so, I hurt them at a time they don't deserve to be hurt. I'm doing this for Akali. She hasn't asked me to, but... I just want to show her how much she means to me and how sorry I am. So... this will be a little confession. I've seen how these things went down in the past and I'm very scared, but.... When I first started playing (as JanaX) I did not tell people one thing about me, my rl gender, which is male. Later, my conscience troubled me and after I came back as Epithany I set myself certain ethical rules. I stopped playing as randomly with others, I stopped playing altogether with those who took a male character, and every single one of the people I've been involved with emotionally I've told. All ex's of mine know this. But that leaves those I knew before coming back as Epi. Some of my closest friends and the people I care the most about. Did I tell them? No... I was scared, it built up and built up and became harder and harder to say. These are the people I care the most about, that have the most significance to me. To make matters worse, I allowed something to happen and didn't tell her then, either. Today.... the guilt became too much and I told her. Now I think she hates me and worse... I've hurt someone I care about very much. I will hurt others by making this confession and I'm so sorry, but you deserve to hear the truth about me. Since Lilly left I've been numb, but the small amount of feeling I had left was reserved for my closest friends and for the person I'm doing this for. I can't imagine a favourable reception, but I don't have anything to lose at this point. To Akali.. what I said to you, I meant. You are one of the most special and beautiful people I know. You deserve better. In all other respects, I was me and the words I said to you I meant sincerely and without expectation or agenda, and I hope that because of this you will one day forgive me. To others.... if you are close to someone, and you have something to tell them, you should. Now. Don't wait 2 years and hurt someone you care about deeply. Ashbash, Ammini, Rodin and 12 others 15 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
intercessional Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 your a good person Jana,dont let it get you down.we all make mistakes we wish we could take back. best you can do is be honest, give them space and in time hopefully they see things differently. Niblette, Babette, MinervaX and 3 others 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Babette Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 “And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince We always saw your caring heart - and it's this what makes you up and what we love.We will go on loving you for how you are - not what. Nothing changed in this regards at all... Desirea, KYUSS, MinervaX and 4 others 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chaostika Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 We always saw your caring heart - and it's this what makes you up and what we love.We will go on loving you for how you are - not what. Nothing changed in this regards at all... KYUSS, Desirea, MinervaX and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweethoney Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 Hugs and Kisses my Friend Will love you always and forever KYUSS, Babette, Catriona and 3 others 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Briana Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 Telling true is not always good to say in that game.Believe me, and I know how it may turn against us. But, play fair with ppl's is the best thing to do. OLESYA, chaostika, MinervaX and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catriona Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 I love you Minx Nothing changes that Cat chaostika, KYUSS, MinervaX and 3 others 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashbash Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 Hey there Minerva, It was brave of you to come out and talk about this. It's a brave thing and sure it was a difficult thing to do due to keeping it secret for so long, but I do hope now that you have spoken about it and such you will feel better and a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. I do not think anything different of you and I enjoy our chats about tech and game dev stuff. Better out than in I always say! As it sounds like it had been playing on your mind for awhile, so I hope you feel relieved now. I will be honest though a part of me did have a feeling you may have been a guy, but I didn't let it affect my judgement of you as I am sure you had your reasons to keep it under wraps but as I say, my thoughts of you remain unchanged and I hope to continue our cool chats in game! Keep real and just be yourself and if people can't handle that, so be it. Just be you, don't be what others want you to be. Best regards,Ash Catriona, Abbey, MinervaX and 4 others 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KYUSS Posted March 2, 2018 Share Posted March 2, 2018 We always saw your caring heart - and it's this what makes you up and what we love.We will go on loving you for how you are - not what. Nothing changed in this regards at all... Catriona, MinervaX and Babette 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweethoney Posted March 2, 2018 Share Posted March 2, 2018 Desirea, MinervaX, KYUSS and 4 others 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KYUSS Posted March 2, 2018 Share Posted March 2, 2018 chaostika and MinervaX 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ammini Posted March 3, 2018 Share Posted March 3, 2018 WE love you, MinX. As Cat said - nothing will change that.We know you and love you. Your soul and heart. Catriona, MinervaX, KYUSS and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunstrike Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 I don't know you and you don't know me, but I saw you a lot in the game. I almost never read the forum as I stopped being me in the game a few years ago. I stopped being me and now I only do RP. You cannot be sure about anyone into this world. RP is easier because you don't expect that your partner is real or telling the truth about themself. Also, you cannot hurt them by playing a character. Well yeah, i've been manipulated a lot before and that's why I decided to only do RP. A lot of guys are women in the game for a simple reason. In real life, a man cannot do anything related to women. Because he would immediately lose his manhood and he will be rejected by other males (at least, that what happens the most in our society). But as he's not a woman either, he would be rejected by them too. So it's almost natural for a guy to be a girl in the game. To discover new things and to explore his womanhood. Because yeah, every man has a womanhood part, even those who hide it deeply. I won't talk about other genders because it would take a while. Just remember that you're not the first, you're not the last. You tested some stuff but you discovered people you really like. If they really like you, they will accept you as you are. If they don't, maybe they are the problem. And maybe you will be sad if they prefer to ignore you. But you did what you can. You cannot do much more, you told the truth. Let them go, they don't deserve you if your real gender is an issue. They lose something, but you don't. Be happy and be yourself. I wish you all the best. PS : I also posted here because a true friend posted here and I really miss this friend Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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