Jump to content
3DXChat Community

a warning for a dangerous place


alisonn

Recommended Posts

There you go then, Rob, lmao

 

Seriously though people tend not to give up on dating rl 'cos they get hurt from time to time. In game is similar, although for some reason getting attached seems to happen faster and with more intensity than in rl. Like you, Rob, my in game stuff is purely social these days, my rl is secure in a way I never thought it would be. I don't want anything to intrude on that. I also find virtual sex a bit of a let down and a bit giggleworthy. No disrespect meant to those people for whom it floats their boat.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

big difference there. this game isnt very conducive to exclusive dating. its sort of like meeting a girl at a orgy and expecting her to just fuck you.

 

I used to think that.... I used to think this is a candy shop populated with sweet tooths.... but... recently.... I've changed my mind. I'm almost certainly going to embarrass her here... but with Lilly.... it's different somehow. Something snapped in me and now... it's not even that I don't want to be intimate with anyone else (although I don't)... it's that I can't... I physically can't get excited by anyone but her. This... doesn't of course describe the whole of my feelings towards her.... but I think that love.... real love is possible. Because I myself have believed I knew what love is... and then found it and realised how wrong I was. It's incredibly incredibly rare... here or anywhere.... it's easy to convince yourself you are in love and then get so hurt when you lose the habit of someone.... but I've been there... done that.... and I feel this is different. That I am different because of her. I wouldn't want to advise anyone not to fall in love here.... because... it doesn't always happen when you expect... you can't always control it and if you avoid closeness you'll not feel as I feel right now and have for the last few months. That said... perhaps I'd advise people to try to learn the difference between love and 3dx love.

 

This place is easy to get addicted to - that's when it gets dangerous. I have been there..... coming here all the time obsessed with the place and not doing anything rl or seeing friends or doing other things.... but since Lilly and in part because I'm able to 100% trust her - I've been able to take the view that I need to make sure I have lots of nights off. I have times when I will... and will not play... and mostly I come here just for Lilly, and a couple of close friends, rather than be here all the time. It's a great place for me right now... but you always need to remember that you need to have a balance.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

As far as I am concerned if you tink you found lervs here then awesomes but remember eet comes with a risk. Eets like tha Big Dippa.

 

You jump in tha carriage bit, wots that called, tha car? Roller car? Dippa mobile ah dunno....anyways.... Concentrates Allie ya dippa lol...so ya jumps in head off thru tha twisties and get shaken around abits. Then ya head up tha steeeeeeeep incline slowly, creepin along. Wows what a view from up here, you get higher and higher reaching tha very top, then........................SWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!!! down ya fly 100 miles an hour, hair getting all blown about, drooling and screaming then a sharp left turn, tummy goes all Bluuurkee and round and round you go till ya all giddy and wobbly.

 

The ride ends....some peeps are crying and shaking and complain to tha Manager and want their monies back coz that shook tha sandwiches outa thems and they are not happy.

 

Some hug a bin and mumma birb eets losing all their lunchins, what a waste of good carnival foods sheeshers,

 

Others are on cloud 9, sure eets over but they can have another go and dooo eets all agains.

 

Lervs is highs and lows, this game can be tuff or just funs but remember life is a game too and if ya don't play eet well then.....Get Guuud!!  :P

Link to comment
Share on other sites

/me thinks Henkie uses a pic of Slash for a reason. all hail the man's man. I have this theory that the stuff sticking out from under Slash's hat is not really hair at all but comes off at night with the hat.

 

Has RobT given up on women because he's been dumped a few times?

That's not a picture of Slash you absolute onion :P Jamiroquai was actually my inspiration for wearing a hat at all times.

 

But back on topic, if y'all are being happy and shit with your relations it's cool. I actually enjoy hearing those things cause it means not everyone is rotten to the core like the world chat would make you think. I find it's mostly the older people who end up getting the most issues since they don't have their minds straight. Like getting married to a new dude every 2 weeks lmao

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I thought Jamiroquai wore a beanie or rasta hat? Same thought, though. The hair is prolly attached to the hat. Seriously though it sort of amuses me to think that rock stars public images bears little resemblance to the real them - tfft.

 

You wear a hat at all times? Even in bed OMG scarey or what, lmao.

 

So back on topic it's a bit like the roles some people play in 3dx. I think there is a limit to the role play, the real you will come through at some point, no matter how hard you try. When it comes to relationships in 3dx you cannot role play love, can you?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I thought Jamiroquai wore a beanie or rasta hat? Same thought, though. The hair is prolly attached to the hat. Seriously though it sort of amuses me to think that rock stars public images bears little resemblance to the real them - tfft.

 

You wear a hat at all times? Even in bed OMG scarey or what, lmao.

 

So back on topic it's a bit like the roles some people play in 3dx. I think there is a limit to the role play, the real you will come through at some point, no matter how hard you try. When it comes to relationships in 3dx you cannot role play love, can you?

I've actually superglued it to my head so it doesn't come off, unless you pull on it like really hard ;p But you can fake having love for someone though, by sweet talking and all that shit. It's actually not that hard at all (Not saying I do it of course.) especially when you are pretty damn lusty for someone. Keeping up a role for an extended period of time is doomed to fail eventually.

 

 

older as in playing the game the longest or as in actual age?     get off my lawn you young punk!!!!!

The future is now old man!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've actually superglued it to my head so it doesn't come off, unless you pull on it like really hard ;p But you can fake having love for someone though, by sweet talking and all that shit. It's actually not that hard at all (Not saying I do it of course.) especially when you are pretty damn lusty for someone. Keeping up a role for an extended period of time is doomed to fail eventually.

 

 

The future is now old man!

The future is tomorrow not now, now is the present, a second from now is the past. If this make sense to you DRINK, if it feels like something to take to heart, you drank too much..

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's like in RL: You can not get along with everyone. And the chat is a very small place where everyone has to get along with others.

Just do not take things so seriously and keep a certain distance and nothing can go wrong.

 

And it's nothing wrong with feelings. Just be aware that it's a change to everyday life and not the center of life.

 

Anyway, enjoy the chat and have a great time!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

As far as I am concerned if you tink you found lervs here then awesomes but remember eet comes with a risk. Eets like tha Big Dippa.

 

You jump in tha carriage bit, wots that called, tha car? Roller car? Dippa mobile ah dunno....anyways.... Concentrates Allie ya dippa lol...so ya jumps in head off thru tha twisties and get shaken around abits. Then ya head up tha steeeeeeeep incline slowly, creepin along. Wows what a view from up here, you get higher and higher reaching tha very top, then........................SWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!!! down ya fly 100 miles an hour, hair getting all blown about, drooling and screaming then a sharp left turn, tummy goes all Bluuurkee and round and round you go till ya all giddy and wobbly.

 

The ride ends....some peeps are crying and shaking and complain to tha Manager and want their monies back coz that shook tha sandwiches outa thems and they are not happy.

 

Some hug a bin and mumma birb eets losing all their lunchins, what a waste of good carnival foods sheeshers,

 

Others are on cloud 9, sure eets over but they can have another go and dooo eets all agains.

 

Lervs is highs and lows, this game can be tuff or just funs but remember life is a game too and if ya don't play eet well then.....Get Guuud!!  :P

What?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Perhaps unsurprisingly, I agree with Cordelia and Rob.

 

I have no problem with people having relationships in game. I have developed some great friendships with people I still maintain contact with offline today meeting different people from all over the world and I do know one couple who have successfully made a relationship in real life. However, from the thousands of relationships I have seen come and go, only one successful story does not seem very good odds. I think you need to maintain the mindset that this is a game, that is not lack of empathy, that is just common sense. There are times when you fall in love, but because of anonymity or whatever, then that person can just leave, which I can understand if you are completely emotionally invested in the relationship then it can be heartbreaking. However, at the end of the day, if you keep in mind that this is a sex game, and the primary reason for you joining in the first place was not to find a relationship, then you will be a lot less disappointed.

 

Also, while I do agree that if you are socially introverted then 3DX can be a good place to talk to other people. However, firstly, I still don’t think that an online conversation and relationship can match up to a real life relationship. Secondly, if you have underlying mental issues already, then when a relationship goes wrong in 3DX, which more often and not, they do, then a 3DX “addiction” can only serve to make things worse. Like Cordelia said, you can’t really blame others for lack of empathy and say that 3DX is a dangerous place. 3DX is what you make it and ultimately you have to take responsibility for your own actions.

 

Like Rob said, if you are looking for a relationship, then you would be much better off joining something like Match or Tinder. Oh, and here is something that is amazing. Every woman I have met on Match is actually a woman, who would have thought?! Imagine my surprise after playing 3DX for 2 years. But seriously, if you want a real life relationship, then get off 3DX and start swiping and messaging on Tinder. Also to echo what Rob said, the dynamics are very different in 3DX. In 3DX, you maybe talk for an hour or two, maybe even 10 minutes and then you are back at each other’s apartment or in a sex room fucking each other’s brains out. Meet someone in real life, you are probably looking at 3-4 dates before there is any sex involved.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

We surely bring with us the mindset that could trap us in the game. But was all what you said here and in the game about your wife and you just a game, a kind of rp or was it more than this. Don't you think that some strong relationship can appear with time?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

i think people here are missing the point that my original post is not about finding a relationship here....at all. 

my point is that 3dx is an extremely addictive place, because it resembles RL so much, and offer you an escape from reality, just like drugs/alcohol would do. 

except this place looks far more "innocent".

 

i did comment on it though.

and when i did, i'm not talking about taking relationships outside of 3dx. i'm talking about relationships inside 3dx. 

i didn't marry Amy because i didn't have actual feelings for her.

be it inside or out, the feelings are there. 

and that makes it just as "real"  as outside of 3dx.

 

but in the end, i have to refer back to Athene's comment.

so far, that has been the most accurate statement related to the original post. 

it doesn't matter what you think about this place, or how you feel about it, or what it "actually is" 

what matters is "this is what I feel, and i'm hurt" 

this is my pain, you have yours. 

spilling drinks on your clothes, crashign your car, losing a loved one, being depressed over 3dx, and so on. 

they're all different forms of agony.

in the end,any decent person would simply sit by your side, and support you, no matter what it is you're hurt about.

if you don't....well then i.m.o. you're not human....you're just a cunt. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

i think people here are missing the point that my original post is not about finding a relationship here....at all. 

my point is that 3dx is an extremely addictive place, because it resembles RL so much, and offer you an escape from reality, just like drugs/alcohol would do. 

except this place looks far more "innocent".

 

That's a good and important warning. Yes it looks innoncent, and it can be terrible.

 

But it can also be also so amazing !

 

This place IS a game but with a difference (for me) with all other games, the people that "play" here can have a totally different approach, target, goal.

And the communication system is so poor that realising you interact with people that have a very different approach from yours can take  a long time and during this time, you can build a relation in your mind that after some time appear totally disappointing.

These huge differences can make terrible drama.

Choose wisely your friends.

Take time ...  a lot of time before letting your feeling get stronger with a person.

Discuss ... a lot and above all share with your friends YOUR view of what ou are looking for, what are your expectation ...

Put words on emotions.

Be honest, Be frank, take the risk to share progressively things that you do not dare to share and this before being too connected to the person that is becoming in your mind more than a friend.

I came here for just escaping from real life, and I found so much more than this.

But it is risky for your brain so reduce the risk taking your time and to keep the feet on the ground.

Real friend here are the one that will know to tell you to stop something that goes too fast.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The game is as dangerous as you make it, you have control over you actions and emotions.

that is simply false.

you have control over your actions, definitely. but if you think you have control over your Emotions, you have never felt a strong love, or grief before, Which is a shame.

 

you do not have control over your Emotions.

and Emotions can have an effect on your actions.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

That's a good and important warning. Yes it looks innoncent, and it can be terrible.

 

But it can also be also so amazing !

 

 

oh definitely, it can (is) absolutely amazing.

i have found friends in 3dx that outshine friends i have irl.

it's great!

i even feel a stronger emotional connection to my 3dx wife, than any RL relationship i've had so far.

because you're forced to really connected and talk about everything.

that's what makes it so strong.

instead of aesthetics, you MUST focus on the characteristics and traits of other individuals.

that makes for a crazy strong bond.

 

but, it's also what keeps you stuck on here.

so, be careful with it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ok I am going to throw my two cents into the mix.

 

Yes this is a game and denying that fact is pointless.  But people who use this argument seem to stop there and not go any further. The fact the platform that we interact with each other with is a virtual one, does not make the subsequent emotions or reactions virtual too. If there was no small echo of real emotions none of us would be here. It is BECAUSE there are real emotional responses that online games in general are so much fun.

Maintaining that this is “just” a game and not admitting that real emotions get into the mix is for me just an excuse to not feel responsible for your actions and keeping an emotional distance to some of the potential hurt that can be inflicted.

But getting TO emotionally invested is the issue here. The OP’s (alisonn) point was a heads up to the people who start out in this game and haven’t gotten a feel for the right balance between having fun playing the game and utter heartbreak.

It’s a tough and sometimes painful learning curve and not all come out on the other side emotionally intact and that is the true problem.

Sadly this problem is not one that either the game nor the community can do anything about. We must accept the sad but ever so true fact that we are responsible for our own mental and emotional health.

But we can do like alisonn and say “Hey I have been through it and if you need to talk about it give me a shout and even though right now you feel like shit there is light at the end of the tunnel”

Link to comment
Share on other sites

But we can do like alisonn and say “Hey I have been through it and if you need to talk about it give me a shout and even though right now you feel like shit there is light at the end of the tunnel”

so far this has been one of the, if not "the" best responses that has been made about my post.

 

you and athene seem to have truely understood the intent behind the post.

so, you, like her, have my respect.

 

and again, if you know anyone that needs a quick chat, or some help pushing past some hard times, you can always send them to me, i've learned a thing or two while I've been here, and in school.

 

*pets you a little, cause why not*

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 4 weeks later...

Hi guys,

 

I realise I'm pretty late to the party in terms of this thread, but I've read through and thought a fresh perspective might be helpful to someone.

 

I purchased this game less than a week ago and I've already noticed common themes that feed into what has been discussed here.

 

1. Divergence from intended usage; what I mean by this is people, for whatever reason, are using 3DXChat, which is entirely marketed as a sex game, as a kind of IMVU/EHarmony hybrid. When people take something as brutal as a sex game full of gangbang rooms, BDSM junkies and fetish fiends and try to use it as something else there is bound to be mental collateral. When your "hubby", who you think is only yours, can just join a "FUTA PARADISE" room and mindlessly screw anyone with no perceived consequences that is a one way trip to toxicity. There are endless temptations in a red light district game and even those with good will power may find it too hard to resist.

1a. "Colds"; I was seeing this everywhere almost immediately. I quickly understood it to mean people being disgusted with a random, or someone they don't know very well, coming up to them and clicking "kiss cheek", partner" etc. I get it, aggressive unwanted advances suck and make people feel cheap and objectified. But, if this is a huge problem for you, perhaps a sex game isn't your vibe. The mechanic is too easy to use for a horny guy fresh out of account creation looking for what he was sold.

2. Perceived drama; Of course, in any social scene there is going to be the kings and queens. What gets me is people's willingness to buy into it. if you use 3DXChat to escape reality surely you'd try to avoid this completely, because that's a huge headache for people IN reality. In my experience stirrers and trolls only persist because they are given oxygen. It struck me that people were quite aware who some of these serial drama rousers were and readily complained about the fact, yet they hadn't thought to just use the ignore mechanic (or had and maybe just subconsciously liked the drama).

 

The above isn't intended to belittle anyone, or discount the meaning/emotions/connections they draw from this game. It is merely to provide an outsiders perspective on real facts/issues that may no longer be clear to you or you hadn't realised. There is probably more I haven't thought of but that's all I have so far.

 

On the mental illness side of thing; if you are in the throes of crippling sadness or inability to function day-to-day seek help! There is a lot of knowledge, medical help and support networks for mental illness these days. Believe me, as someone with bipolar I understand how bad it can get. Your health should always come first, because everyone is capable of making an amazing contribution to the world we live in.

 

Thanks for reading.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 months later...

that is simply false.

you have control over your actions, definitely. but if you think you have control over your Emotions, you have never felt a strong love, or grief before, Which is a shame.

 

you do not have control over your Emotions.

and Emotions can have an effect on your actions.

I just passed by and noticed something interesting. Looks like I`m too late. 

What is Love and how it can be strong or not? Ain`t you think that everyone have a pretty different opinions about this word? I think Love is not a feel or emotions, for example. On my opinion it is something placed everywhere, connected with everything and everyone, without start and finish, without emotions or feelings. This is a state or quality of a yourself when you do not judge someone, you do not measure or criticize someone, you just glowing with what you have found in thyself and this light spreads in all directions and is available to absolutely everyone. So... "simply false", isn`t it? I think you felt a strong passion or something else. It wasn't love, I'm sorry about that.

My condolences.

 

have a good day/play. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...