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What is the difference between a slave, a submissive and a pet?

 

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This is a question I get asked often when role playing or people showing an interest in my kink.

They show an interest if never having tried it before and are interested enough to learn the differences in our partners.

I will try and explain it the best way I can and I hope that it is informative for those who wish to know.

 

The important thing to note, is our partners, give their consent to play in this way.

No one is abused and all can say no or use an agreed safe word to stop the play at any time.

 

Autonomy means independence or freedom, as of the will or one’s actions.

The autonomy of the individual. 

 

So the difference between a pet, a sub and a slave is their Autonomy.

 

Each of the three will have a Master, or are in the process of looking for one.

 

Each of them will know their place and if disobedient may be punished accordingly when they are out of line.

 

But it is also the Master’s responsibility to make their underlings (pet, sub, slave ) feel loved and desired and needed and wanted and to train them to understand and obey in their role and not to neglect them.

 

Other Masters or Mistresses should be addressed as Sir or Mistress. 

A slave should address all free persons as Sir or Mistress.

Pets and Slaves are referred to as It, unless given a name by their owner. Each owner can change it.

A submissive is referred to as his or her or her given name.

 

Most Dominants before playing with owned pets, subs or slaves will either ensure they are free to play or seek the blessing of the owner.

They will know they are owned as most will wear a collar. 

The Dominants should find out if it is decoration by asking the underling.

An underling can be punished if they lie.

 

A pet, sub or slave desire the happiness of their owner at all times. 

Those that do not desire their Masters or Mistresses happiness is doing it Wrong. Full Stop (Period).

 

Pet -

Pets are submissive but with more freedom than the other two. This is usually the first step in being controlled by a Master or Mistress. It is the favourite of all three to become involved in.

They may, on occasions, depending on the pet, take on the characteristics of animal pets, wearing tails ; ears ; even dress in costumes and of course learn obedience.

 

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Pets have a great deal of Autonomy, depending on their Master. They may have anywhere from 80-99% free reign, though they know they can be called at any time, for any purpose. When called, it must respond to it’s owner as soon as possible. 

With such freedom, can come Responsibility too. The responsibility to occupy one’s own time when their Master is occupied. They can act independently, for example buying clothing they think their Master or Mistress might like.

 

They are treated as a pet would be. Think of your pet dog or cat. When it is with its owner,  their Master or Mistress can groom them, take them to the toilet, feed them in their feeding bowls or even feed from the hand to the pets mouth, put them to bed in a cage or pet bed, show off their training – sit, beg, sexual things etc..  give tit bits as treats, walk them around in a collar and lead, tell them what to wear, teach them to heel and of course use them for sexual pleasures. The boundaries are negotiated by the Master & Pet and agreements made by both.

 

Sub-

Subs are submissives that devote themselves only to their Master/Mistress. This is step 2 of the kink and lots will never move on to step 3. 

When the sub's Owners are not about they are free persons with agreed boundaries  of course. They must not ever embarrass their Master or Mistress.

They do not answer to other Dominants and are free to roam. 

They do however address other Dominants as Sir or Mistress. 

 

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A sub has some Autonomy though not nearly as much as a pet, perhaps 40-60% depending on the Master. 

As with a Pet, even though the sub might be in the middle of something, he or she must respond to the call of his or her Master or Mistress as soon as possible. 

 

It is also easier for a sub to manage their own time while their Master is occupied because the Master of a sub is responsible for giving it enough to do to not worry about it. 

The Master or Mistress may give the submissive tasks to do.  It may be sexual – lend them to others; instruct them to do Group ; maybe to read up on a subject or answer posts / stories in forum and even instructions to play in their free time. 

They can act independently, learning & buying things their Master or Mistress might like.

 

 

Slave -

While all in the lifestyle are free persons who chose to serve, slaves give this up and are without rights. 

This is Step 3 and the extreme play of a submissive.

Their every waking hour (by this we mean every moment on line) is devoted to their Master/Mistress. 

 

They must seek permission for doing most things and are generally limited to the room their Owner resides in. 

They are treated as subservient by other Masters and Mistresses and are expected to show the highest forms of respect towards all.

 

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A slave, by definition, has no Autonomy whatsoever. 

Its only desire is to fulfil every wish, every whim, every pleasure of it’s Master or Mistress. 

 

A Master or Mistress looking for a slave, must therefore dedicate himself to managing his slaves time very well.

They often refer to the slave as "boy" or "gir"l or any name the owner may choose.

 

The slave is not free to do anything on its own without permission or blessing of it's Master or Mistress.

The slave is expected to have no desires except to obey it's Master or Mistress.

A slave owns nothing, everything is owned by it's Master or Mistress.

 

A slave is only as free as it's owner allows. But it's most important thing is to serve it's owner first always.  

 

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Pets and submissives’s have more freedom then a slave and are allowed to think for themselves. Slaves have no opinion or view, they obey and are obedient.

 

The owner controls the slave with love, making them feel loved, wanted and needed. 

The slave gives itself freely to it's owner and trusts that their owner has their best interest at heart.

 

A slave depends on the Master or Mistress to govern it, guide it into knowing what it's Master or Mistress wants. 

 

Once the slave has learnt what is wanted, there is usually the ability and expectation to act pro-actively to please it's owner. 

 

It does not usually think or act for itself except in mundane chores etc.. they must seek permission to shop etc...

They must even ask permission to enter the rooms of it's Owner and even then to speak to it's Master or Mistress. 

 

 

Some important differences :

 

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A submissive is someone who negotiates; a slave does not

A submissive has limits; a slave has given up all limits except those which it's owner sets for them.

A submissive obeys and serves by choosing to do so each time and retains her will. A slave initially makes a choice to obey it's Master/Mistress at all times and then submits to the will of  It's Master or Mistress at all times.

A submissive accepts submission, while a slave accepts obedience.

 

A submissive has retained some rights within the context of the D/s relationship, whereas a slave has given up all rights and becomes, in effect, property, hence the it.

A submissive is owned, but a slave is possessed. (property)

A slave is not allowed to sit on furniture or wear clothes, and always kneels at it's owner’s feet.

A submissive has a safe-word to end play, while a slave has consented to no-consent.

A slave must be a submissive, but a submissive is not necessarily a slave.

 

Being a submissive is just a step on the way to the “ultimate” state of submission, which is being a slave.

 

A slave is more submissive than a “mere” submissive. 

Submissives are just playing; slaves live the lifestyle.

A submissive has more self-respect than a slave. 

 

BDSM training questions of underlings.

 

"Tell me what you are?" 

"I am a pet, submissive, a slave for a Master." 

 

"What is a slave (pet or submissive) ?" 

"A girl who is owned." 

 

"Why do slaves (or submissives) wear brands?" 

"To show they are owned." 

 

"Why do you wear a collar?" 

"That men and mistresses may know who owns me." 

 

"What does a slave (or submissive) want more than anything else?" 

"To please (men,) their own Master or their own Mistress." 

 

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Fuck Toy.

A Master or Mistress looking for a fuck toy to use whenever the mood strikes would most likely be looking for a Pet. 

A pet, sub or slave expects to be used at any time. 

 

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A Pet would suit “whenever the mood strikes” as it leaves the pet time to go out shopping, playing, etc… after it's Master or Mistress is done. 

A Master or Mistress looking for an "on demand fuck toy" doesn’t want to micro-manage an underling and therefore would be expected to keep itself from getting bored.

 

A Master that ONLY wants a fuck toy doesn’t want to give it chores like laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc. to do when he or she is not using it for his or her pleasure.

 

The Master or Mistress of a slave, if (s)he’s doing it right, knows that his or her slave depends on him or her to fill it's time.  

Then it would be used for such chores and comforts for it's Master or Mistress, even serving his/her food and drink at meal times. 

 

The Master of a slave will need to micro manage it or will end up with a very bored slave who will eventually become a runaway or go to another Master who will appreciate it.

 

Similarly, on the other side, a Master of a Pet who is too controlling is encouraging rebellion. They are subservient when it is their Master’s time.

 

An underlings desire for “autonomy” vs. “being given things to do”  can fluctuate in a relationship. 

The underling may offer itself as a pet one day, then wish to be more closely directed later, perhaps even craving to be a slave.

 

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Slave Positions for your Master or Mistress.

 

Slave positions are useful to know and to show off obedience and good Mastery.

 

They are a popular teaching in Master and Slave relationships and useful and interesting to know if you like to indulge in the BDSM Kink and role play or even if you are just interested in knowing of or about them.

 

There are a list of some of the positions for Gorean slaves (kajirae) described in the Chronicles of Gor series of science fiction books written by John Norman.

 

One reason for regular practice and rituals such as kajira (Slave) positions is that they express and reinforce social values and relationships.

 

For example:

Gentlemen who wear hats and possess good manners, should tip them to a woman they know as she passes by on the street,

or if a man stops to talk with a woman, he would usually take his hat off. 

A gentleman always opens a door for a lady and allows her to go first or gives her his hand to help her up or down steps.

 

These traditions, customs or manners reflect "chivalrous" values commonly held by some in society and show suitable respect to a lady and the class of the man showing that respect.

 

From a psychological point of view, doing such activities can often help you feel the suitable emotions. The lady feels respected. The man feels the protector and valiant.

 

So on the most basic level, people who smile can often feel a little happier just from smiling.  Try it and see. It especially works when people smile back at you.

 

Similarly, if one gets into the true spirit of the thing (role play) at all, rather than participating with feelings of pure bitter ironic mockery, then performing rituals of respect can help one feel respectful.

 

As John Norman says in another context, "She may begin by acting, but after some days or weeks, she will presumably shift into feeling."

 

Thus doing an practising kajira (slave) positions could help women feel sexually desirable as well as vulnerable, while reinforcing the Gorean social status distinctions between kajirae and free men.

 

For the Master, such positions allow him to feel pride of mastery (by exacting kajira obedience), to place a kajira in various appealing or provocative poses, and to position her suitably for what he wants to do with her next (whether applying restraints, lovemaking, showing her off to others etc.).

 

The Kajira (slave) will feel proud to show off her knowledge and good posture, will feel pride to make sure her Master looks good in front of others and know and feel her lowlier position before her Master. (Or Mistress)

 

Here are some of the basic positions used in the Master and Slave relationship and are useful to have knowledge of if you are interested in this field of kink.

 

1. Bara.

 

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This position is used for a variety of reasons, sometimes as punishment. She lays on her stomach, face down and turned to the left with her wrists crossed behind her back. Her ankles are crossed, as well, as if for binding.

 

2. Belly.

 

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She assumes a face down position, head is turned to the left, arms at her sides with the palms turned up, and legs are parted widely

 

3. Bracelets.

 

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This position is used to put on slave bracelets for chaining the slave. A common place to chain slaves is to their Master’s bed or at a Tavern there are rings in the walls that a Master may use to attach a slave to while he goes about his business. She places her hands behind her back....her shoulders pushed back…her breasts thrust outward....and her hands clasped tightly behind her back...ready for bracelets to be placed on her.

 

4. Hair.

 

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She stands, her feet flat on the floor, and bows gracefully at the waist, that her hair might fall forward for display, or to be shorn, seized, or used for any purpose that the Master desires.

 

5. Ko-Lar or Collaring

 

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Also called the Position of Female Submission. She kneels at the Master’s feet and leans her body back, sitting upon her heels, with her arms extended upward, crossed at the wrists, and her head beneath them lowered in supplication.

 

6.  Leading

 

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She stands and moves behind her Master, bending at the waist. She places her hands behind her and puts the side of her head to her Master’s hip, that he might lead her easily by the hair or collar while walking.

 

7.  Leasha or Leash

 

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This position is used to attach a leash. She kneels, her back to her Master, with her chin lifted and head turned to the left, offering her collar for leashing. Her wrists are behind her back, ready, if needed, to be snapped into slave bracelets.

 

8.  Nadu

 

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This is the most basic of all the positions. This is the position a slave is in most of the time. She kneels before her Master, her head held high, eyes downcast, knees spread wide open, shoulders back keeping her back straight (or arched slightly), breasts thrust outward. Her hands lie on her thighs, palms facing upward.

 

9.  Obeisance or Obedience

 

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She goes to the floor, laying upon her stomach, face down before the Master. She turns her head and places her cheek against his feet, kissing them lightly in a gesture of love and submission.

 

10.  Run Command

 

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When this command is given, she runs toward her objective, taking short rapid steps, with her legs almost straight, her feet hardly leaving the floor. As she moves her back is straight, her head is turned to the left, and her arms are at her sides, her palms facing outward at a 45-degree angle to her body. Upon reaching her objective she drops gracefully to her knees and typically resumes the position of Nadu.

 

 

-  continued  - 

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11.  She-Sleen

 

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Also known as assuming the modality of the she-quadruped. She falls to her hands and knees, her head down on the floor, her hindquarters thrust high for viewing and/or her Master’s pleasure. Serving in the modality of the she-quadruped is an instruction whereby the slave performs her regular duties upon hands and knees, without the benefit of the use of her hands. In this mode she may not rise to her feet and may use only her mouth and teeth to grasp and manipulate objects.

 

12.  Slave Lips

 

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When this command is given, she turns her head up to the Master, her lips pursed in a sensual kissing position. She remains motionless; her lips thusly puckered, and may not move until she is granted the kiss of a Master.

 

13. Slaver's Kiss.

 

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She falls to the floor upon all fours, and lowers her head to the ground, with her buttocks thrust upward and her thighs widely spread, exposing her hindquarters fully in preparation for the caress of the leather against her body. Common Gorean Usage Position of this position - She falls to the floor upon all fours, and keeps her head straight, her eyes looking forward, with her buttocks thrust upward and her thighs widely spread in preparation for the sexual use of the Master.

 

14.  Sula

 

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This position is self-explanatory. She lies on her back, her hands at her sides, palms facing upward. Her legs are spread wide open... she awaits Master’s inspection.

 

15. Sula-Ki or Alternative Sula

 

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This position is almost identical to the Sula position, except once she has assumed the Sula position she slowly lifts her hips up off the floor, as if beckoning him with her body, encouraging her sexual use by him.

 

16. Table

 

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She kneels then bends forward and places her elbows on the floor, hands are locked on forearms, knees are parted and used to adjust height until her back is level, and her head is held up.

 

17.  Tower

 

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There is another variation of Nadu in which she kneels the same way, but with her palms down and her knees modestly together. This variation is referred to as Tower Slave Position and is typically reserved for young or white-silk slave girls, or slave girls who serve their Master in a non-sexual way, such as a Tower Slave or female Work Slave.

 

18. Walk

 

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When this command is given, she turns in a graceful pirouette, her hair swinging. She then walks, gliding across the room, her feet hardly seeming to leave the floor, her hips swaying sensually, her body erect and proud. When she reaches her objective she halts and stands, her body erect, her shoulders back, her chest thrust forward, her belly in. She turns her hip out a bit, her hands at her sides, and points one foot. Her head is up and her eyes are lowered.

 

19. Whipping

 

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She first assumes the Nadu position, though with her arms crossed in front of her. She then leans forward and places her head to the floor, first sweeping her hair forward over her shoulders in order that her back might be utterly exposed to the whip.

 

20.   Inspection.

 

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She stands straight. Legs apart a little further than the shoulders. Hands on head exposing arm pits and thrusting out breasts.  In addition further  inspection of all orifices can easily be carried out.  Mouth & teeth can be inspected at one command of "Open" ;  Arms by "Extend" & Legs and feet with a command of  "Lift" from behind her.  Buttocks and sex by a command of  "Bend & Spread"  Slave Positions.

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“A taste of the Slave Ring is beneficial to all women”

 

Slave ring: This is simply a heavy iron ring, about one inch in diameter, to which a slave may be secured. These rings can be found in many different places such as on a master's couch, on a floor or wall. Public slave rings can be found in numerous places throughout cities. The rings can be used to secure slaves or other animals, and even a Free Companion. A free woman might one night find herself attached to a slave ring on her Companion's couch. This may be as punishment or simply to remind her that she is a woman and has a need to be dominated, or maybe for her to just try something different.

 

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“A taste of the Slave Ring is beneficial to all women”

 

I read this statement in a book and it got me thinking. 

 

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I realised it wasn't meant as an arrogance, but as advice about sexuality, not just for a woman but for a man as well. 

It’s about losing those inhibitions that suppress who we are and how we enjoy each other in a sexual and exhilarating way. 

 

It is going back to raw animal basic instincts in the bedroom.

 

We all want to enjoy sex and be possessed in a sea of passion with our chosen partner. The joy and climactic thrill of being with each other.

 

Some free woman may take longer to arouse than one who considers herself a slave, or a submissive or a pet. 

 

Maybe these Free women tend to have hang ups that slaves are not allowed to carry.

Maybe for a free woman, the expectations of a partner are unreasonably higher; or perhaps they selfishly expect their partner to arouse them with little or no actions or effort themselves; maybe the stresses of the day are still lingering, maybe the shift to sexual play is not their true focus.

 

A slave, on the other hand, or even a free woman who has learnt to express herself, is an orgasmic marvel! 

 

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The slave tends to enjoy the touch of her Master, very often just a look or a first touch and she is aroused.

She is not bound by any inhibitions of how she should behave in public, in private or her past.

The stresses of the day forgotten.

Her Master is her focus.

 

She knows her sole job is to please her Master and every Master wants and demands that fire in her belly.

That fire for him, where she moans his name, writhes in passion for him and those cries of climax are music to his ears.

The heat of the slave makes her a beautiful creature. 

She is female. He is Male!

 

From the way she walks to her posture in her daily chores; the way she displays her body in her everyday tasks to the looks of longing she throws at him (or her) when she glimpses him. All are engineered to entice herself into his arms and to be ravaged as a woman should be by her man. Everything she does is foreplay geared to lift a man’s desire.

 

A female enjoys a man to admire her and so he should. 

 

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The art of sensual dance is very powerful.

It should be encouraged more in play with partners and certainly is a great way to seduce and display the body.

It is a wonderful female foreplay which can leave a man panting.

 

Maybe it is psychological when a female wears her collar.

Perhaps behaviourally, given no choice but to act as a passionate female, the slave suddenly through simple psychological relations is transformed. 

Perhaps it is knowing they are right-less, owned, dominated which so deeply triggers the profound web of yielding, piteously receptive, helplessly submitting reflexes ; perhaps in their bodies lies the secret need to be sexually  subjugated totally without which they cannot attain their full sexuality.

 

The Master also uses his slave regularly to remind her that she is wanted and desired and precious. Sometimes a whole day of such sport which although leaves her satisfied, implants the hankering, the want  and the need known as the “Slave Heat” for her Master. She wants more of the same! 

Another expression… “Leave her or him wanting more…”

 

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One of the insistences of a Master, if he is wise, is to make his slave vocalize her sensations; then ventilating and reinforcing those moans, multiplying, deepening and intensifying them. 

 

Thus this helps to arouse her and contribute to her own pleasures and consequently of course to those of her Master.

 

A slave is never allowed to be silent in these matters.

This command of her of course under which she is placed to moan her pleasures and abundantly, together with her abandon and nudity and stunning beauty in this state, manifests them physically and guides, accurately and surely the Master in a detailed exploitation of her weaknesses in his depredations practised on her body. 

 

She must betray herself. She cannot be blamed. No choice is given her. He will know her erogenous zones and her “turn ons!”

 

Here, I might mention edging, this should only be used sparing. 

Edging a climax eventually desensitises her natural instinct and can ruin a female. 

Let the natural beauty of climax spill over. 

I rarely try or want to control a woman’s beauty in her peak. It is a time to bathe in her raw magnificence. 

In time, maybe a practised climax can be bought on in a trained slave by a mere word.

 

She is an instrument of passion on which a Master plays, delighting himself with the music of her expressions, her movements, her cries, even the wild unrestrained odours of her collared slave body. She is forced to contribute to her own sexual subjugation. 

Do not blame her. No choice is given.

 

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Utter abandonment likes this is dynamic and every woman should on at least one occasion in her life seek and enjoy this kind of lovemaking.

It would be a shame to not ever know it.

 

So, “A taste of the Slave Ring is beneficial to all women”   or if it is more palatable to some … “Be a lady in public but a wanton slut in the bedroom.”

 

Sometimes though, it takes a taste of the former to fully utilise and understand the latter.

 

The goal of course is the same for all, we all want to experience the full Joys and Abandonment of Great Sex. 

 

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Good Luck and much joy in your pursuit. 

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What makes a good Master or Dominant?

 

This article is about consensual role-playing in a sexual relationship. Of course actual slavery for the purpose of sexual exploitation is against the law. 

BDSM is about consenting to be a pet or a submissive or a slave.

If the consent ends, so does the play. No one is ever forced to play.

 

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BDSM is an acronym that means:

 

Bondage and discipline

Dominance and submission

Sadism

Masochism 

 

In BDSMMaster/slave or M/s is a relationship in which one individual serves another in an authority-exchange structured relationship.

The structure is agreed mutually by the Master and slave. The slave agrees to trust the Master and consents to give up her consent.

He controls and commands everything.

Therefore a Master needs to be considerate to his slave, look after her needs and nurture the gift she has given him.

 

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Unlike Dominant / submissive structures found in BDSM, love is often the core value.

Service and obedience are often the core values in Master/slave structures.

The Slave wants to please her Master and the Master wants to be proud and show off her obedience

The participants may be of any gender or sexual orientation.

 

The relationship uses the term "slave" because of the ownership rights of a master to their slave's body, as property or chattel.

 

Male "masters" will usually be referred to as "Master" or “My Lord” by their slaves, submissives or pets. Other Masters are addressed as “Sir” 

 

Female masters are referred to as "Mistress" or “My Lady” by their slaves, submissives or pets. Other mistresses are addressed as “Mistress”

 

The Master/slave (or owner/property) relationship is entered into on a consensual basis, without the legal force of historical or modern non-consensual slavery, that is forbidden by the laws of most countries. 

 

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It is important That the BDSM couple trust and agree what:

their boundaries and perimeters are ;

what are hard limits (Things they wont do) ;

and what is a safe word for when boundaries are pushed and tested.

 

The safe word means STOP IMMEDIATELY. NO MORE.

 

Write down the agreed rules and add or take away as their relationship progresses.

Contraventions will attract a punishment by the Dom. Good behaviour will attract rewards.

 

A Master/slave or Dominant/submissive relationship is of consent only. If consent is withdrawn, the play must stop.

If the play does not stop, then it is abuse.

BDSM relationships do not condone abuse whether physical or mental.

 

A Master or Mistress has a responsibility to look after his property and this should be borne in mind during play and should be fully aware of their underlings boundaries, hard limits and safe words. 

 

The moment a safe word is uttered, the play should stop and the welfare of the underling taken care of. 

 

If the underling contravenes or breaches the agreed rules, then they should expect punishment from their Dominant. 

This can take many forms, but the favourites are spanking, public spanking, public nudity or even public sex with persons chosen by the Dom.

 

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All relationships are different and therefore Dominants and submissives make rules hat work for them.

Not all relationships will have the same rules but all will have the essence of care and trust and respect for each other in play.

The creeds should be borne in mind.

 

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The Dominants Creed should be read.

The Submissives creed should be read.

 

The Dominant’s Creed

Author unknown

 

Above all else, a Dominant cherishes their submissive in the knowledge that the gift the submissive gives is the greatest gift of all.

A Dominant is demanding and takes full advantage of the power they hold, but knows how to share the pleasure that comes from such power over another.

A Dominant is in control of themselves first and foremost, so that they may control others.

As a stern and demanding Dominant, they can cause their submissive to cry real tears; As a consummate lover, they will kiss such tears away without stepping out of character.

In times of trouble, a Dominant will leave the roles behind and be a supportive friend and partner, never forgetting that this is still a loving relationship between two individuals.

A Dominant is quick to understand the differences between fantasy and reality.

A Dominant will never ask a submissive to put them before the submissive’s career or family just to satisfy their own pleasure.

To win a submissive’s mind, body, spirit, soul and love, a Dominant knows they must first win the submissive’s trust.

A Dominant will show their submissive humour, kindness and warmth.

A Dominant must always show their submissive that their guidance and tutoring in knowledgeable and deserving of the submissive’s attention, that the Dominant is a person they can learn from in in whom they can trust their direction.

A Dominant is romantic enough to be protective and chivalrous. When called upon, they will fight for their submissive’s honour.

A Dominant proves to their submissive that they are someone who can be leaned upon and depended upon.

When it comes time to teach their submissive a lesson is obedience, a Dominant is a strong and unyielding teacher.

A Dominant will accept no flaw; nothing less than perfection from their student.

Never does a Dominant use discipline without good reason. When they punish their submissive it is always with a knowledgeable and careful hand.

A Dominant is always open to communication and discussion; always ready to hear their submissive’s wants and needs.

A Dominant is patient, taking time to learn their submissive’s limits and knowing that as the submissive’s trust in them grows, so to will they grow.

A Dominant never has to demand ritual behaviour from their submissive. Their submissive responds to them out of the want of pleasing them. Compliance comes from the desire to please, not the fear of punishment.

A Dominant understand the fragile nature of mind and body and never violates the trust given to them.

A Dominant is secure enough to laugh at themselves and the absurdities of life; open-minded enough to learn new things. Strong enough to grow.

A Dominant’s tools are mind, body, spirit, soul and love.

A Dominant understands that E/each partner gains most from pleasuring the O/ther. And B/both of T/them know that love and trust are the only bonds that truly hold.

 

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The Submissive’s Creed

Author Unknown

 

I will communicate with complete honesty my needs, desires, limits and experience. I realise that failing to do so will not only prevent my Dominant and I from having the best experience possible, but it can also lead to physical and emotional harm.

I will try not to manipulate my Dominant. I will not push to make a scene go the way I feel it should. In other words, I will not Top from the bottom.

I will keep an open mind about trying things that I am not comfortable with and on expanding my limits. I will continue to grow as a submissive and as a human being.

I will accept the responsibility for discovering what pleases my Dominant and will do my best to fulfil Their wishes and desires.

I will not allow myself to be harmed or abused. I know that being a submissive does not mean being a doormat.

I will be courteous and helpful to my fellow submissives. I will share my knowledge and experience with others in the hope that they will learn and benefit from where I have been. I will take time to help those new to the scene start out on the correct path.

I will be responsive to my Dominant. I will not try to hide what my mind and both are feeling so that I may assist Them in their responsibilities as my Authority. I know Dominants are not telepaths and I will not expect my Dominant to know thoughts or feelings which I do not share.

I will accept in the responsibility of a scene or relationship gone bad. I will not place total blame on my Dominant when it is not warranted simply because They are the Dominant. I realise things may not work out as they should at time and will try my best to put it behind me and move on.

I will give my submission only to those who can responsibly accept it and desire to receive it. I will not place anyone in the position of Dominating me non-consensually, nor will I give my respect to someone who has not earned it.

I will be obedient to my Dominant even if I disagree with what They are requesting. I realise They have my best interests at heart and often know better than I what I need in a particular situation.

I know that my actions reflect upon my Dominant, and will do my best to help others to see Them in a positive way. I will not intentionally embarrass or displease my Dominant.

 

Above all, I will wear my title of submissive with honour. I will never cause others to think that being submissive means to be weak or sub-human. I will take pride in who I am and will never show myself in a negative way.

 

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The Female Heat.   by Vaughan_Rarius.

 

"Are my warm whispers in your ears intimate and enticing? 

Could the people around us be unaware, how your body may respond? 

Do you tremble at the power of my words? 

Can I make your body blush in places people cannot see! 

Can I make you pant in anticipation of things to come! 

Can I make you throb and become wet as your desire grows? 

Can you see the fire and heat in me? 

As I can see the smoulder of you. 

Can you see what you could ignite?" 

As I can feel and revel in the power of our attraction. 

Our hearts are drumming with the music of our building passion.

Finally, The Heat of the Female Dance is seen by the man who can play the right tune.”

 

 

naked-hot-women-pics-60395.jpg

 

 

Dance me to the end of Love - Leonard Cohen.

 

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you-have-issues-88554466055.jpeg

 

The reason is this: when it comes to mastering, it refers to perverse individuals. When it comes to perversion, he immediately thinks of something out of the ordinary. Therefore a perverse person should demonstrate a different erotic imagery than the common masculine one.

Perversion is a sexual modality that often feeds on specific and out-of-the-ordinary details. Usually it is fixed to an "exciting" event of strange child life and not appropriate to the age of the child, so as to remain in his imagination for many years until it resurfaces as impulse and desire only for that kind of situation.

 

So I wonder why in the imagination of the masters there is always and only this type of woman and not quite a different version of the slave woman. The first thing that comes to mind is the link with the mother of course. I heard from some masters that their mother was severe or too strict. In the case of a man who becomes a slave he usually seeks a woman who reflects the female feminine authoritarian figure. But in the case of a master it seems that his real intent is to find a strong slave, like the mother, who could not challenge or oppose the authority (being small) and wanting to do it in adulthood, with a strong sense of revenge.

 

The common desire of many men is to have a woman subject to their will and say that they can do what they want. The same applies to the masters. But while a common man implements possession through the sexual act itself, sometimes also realized violently; the master needs to destroy, humiliate and weaken his chosen one to make his power triumph and this he uses to use various more or less extreme techniques to torture and destroy the slave's will and strength.

But in either case it seems that this need to impose one's strength is a consequence of an inner loss immediately at a certain age and to be avoided by reversing roles. So the only reason I see in granting the slave to respect that sexy style is the fact of wanting to destroy that inner strong, maternal figure in this case, which leads to the unconscious and makes them more proud when they can make the surrender of one of these women with a strong and secure appearance.

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Actually, some of us, just like to be in charge and some like to be commanded. It turns us on and is as natural as breathing.

 

I can only talk personally and would not insult my fellow peers who choose the D/s lifestyle by presuming some past trauma or past experience has made them the way they are and thus guides their sexual likes and dislikes.

 

Maybe in some circumstances, this may be true just as some may be comfortable in same sex relationships following a traumatic episode with a member of the opposite sex.

But actually, there is also the strong possibility that it is in our make-up or DNA. We are just made the way we are.

 

We are who we are and the appropriate respect should be shown to any participants in our sexual play.

 

Some aspects of BDSM are extreme play and some prefer that. They are consenting adults after all.

 

I have tried it, and cannot say I like the pain side of things so choose to not practice it, as you can probably tell from my posts.

 

I choose the BDSM play I enjoy - the sensual, the erotic and the domination of my partners.

 

Sometimes I like to tie up or shackle and deny my partner the ability to touch me or I could blindfold to deny their sight. This inevitably enhances their other senses to respond to my sexual play.

 

I have used ice, candle wax, feathers, fur, wands, vibrators or dildos to tease and tantalise her in her bound state.

I like to give erotic spanking; I like to command and watch her to dance sexily for me in the nude and I like to order her to masturbate for me while I watch.

 

I have explained earlier in this topic the different levels of submission ranging from pets to slaves.

Masters, Mistresses and Dominants choose their own levels that they wish to indulge in their kink.

 

Each Master is different and should not be judged weak or strong because they do not like a particular practice. A good Master is one who fulfils the needs of his submissive or sexual partner.

 

Each couple is different.

 

Each make their own rules and if they are happy and enjoy sex and their kink mutually, then they will have a healthy, interesting and exciting sex life.

 

Do I have issues?   No. I am confident in my sexuality and know what I like. There is nothing in my past that makes me need to be in charge. I just like being Dominant.

I am confident enough to lead my partner in our play but am respectful enough to stop when she says No or uses a safe word.

 

We both may choose to room again if we both wish it.  It can be a one-off or it can be a regular occurrence. The important thing is we both enjoy each other.

 

Am I a pervert?  I bloody hope so if it makes me exciting to my partner.  LOL. 

 

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The reason is this: when it comes to mastering, it refers to perverse individuals. When it comes to perversion, he immediately thinks of something out of the ordinary. Therefore a perverse person should demonstrate a different erotic imagery than the common masculine one.

 

Perversion is a sexual modality that often feeds on specific and out-of-the-ordinary details. Usually it is fixed to an "exciting" event of strange child life and not appropriate to the age of the child, so as to remain in his imagination for many years until it resurfaces as impulse and desire only for that kind of situation.

 

So I wonder why in the imagination of the masters there is always and only this type of woman and not quite a different version of the slave woman. The first thing that comes to mind is the link with the mother of course. I heard from some masters that their mother was severe or too strict. In the case of a man who becomes a slave he usually seeks a woman who reflects the female feminine authoritarian figure. But in the case of a master it seems that his real intent is to find a strong slave, like the mother, who could not challenge or oppose the authority (being small) and wanting to do it in adulthood, with a strong sense of revenge.

 

The common desire of many men is to have a woman subject to their will and say that they can do what they want. The same applies to the masters. But while a common man implements possession through the sexual act itself, sometimes also realized violently; the master needs to destroy, humiliate and weaken his chosen one to make his power triumph and this he uses to use various more or less extreme techniques to torture and destroy the slave's will and strength.

 

But in either case it seems that this need to impose one's strength is a consequence of an inner loss immediately at a certain age and to be avoided by reversing roles. So the only reason I see in granting the slave to respect that sexy style is the fact of wanting to destroy that inner strong, maternal figure in this case, which leads to the unconscious and makes them more proud when they can make the surrender of one of these women with a strong and secure appearance.

 

Every BDSM relationship is different. And just because it includes the BD doesn't mean it automatically includes the SM either. I'm a mistress, but a more nurturing one. My submissive submits to me because of deep trust and love which as her Mistress I ensure always to earn and be worthy of. I'm protective, caring, encouraging, and always trying to push her in the direction she needs to go in.

 

I never humilate, use sexual violence, destroy or tear down. I dominate, but because I seek always to understand, guide, protect, nurture, love, build up, and make my submissive feel safe and protected and loved and able to explore her sexuality and herself in a way that feels safe, controlled and careful.

 

A lot of people have misconceptions about these type of relationships, but you have to remember they vary enormously in scale and scope and what those letters mean for them, personally. Your generalisation of us and attempt to analyse us I see as somewhat judgemental. Just because you do not understand us, does not mean we are some mental case that justifies you psychoanalysing us.

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