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Cyber Relationships


Bran

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The term “cyber relationships” defines a virtual connection between two people who use an online medium to interact.

 

For example, 3DXChat allows people to search for individuals that meet their requirements to start an online relationship, whether it be just sexual or not. The culture of online relationships has grown into a sub culture where people feel that interpersonal relationship is an online norm. Today you find people of all ages and backgrounds finding compatibility through online websites that promote a safe haven for individual personalities to express themselves. Relationships form everyday with new and improved social media because now there are methods to regulate privacy and conduct to protect people.

 

The reason behind cyber relationships has to do sometimes with issues like self-disclosure, self-esteem, fear of physical relations, body image, and social interaction. The expansion of media has brought new light to individuals that find face to face interaction to be difficult when dealing with personal issues that affect the building of a relationship. For example, we hear that older men are creating profiles to lure younger girls on the news occasionally, but do we ever hear about older women creating profiles to find compatible soul mates? Until recent years the challenge or test to find a soul mate where they met through mutual friends, work, school, or social situations were few in number as compared to the infinite individuals in cyber space. Traditionally, we see that couples evolve through basic physical attraction. However through social media and online dating, the interpersonal value is much greater because now the individuals can ask questions and explore the other person. Online dating has been the number one method to individuals that seek interest without having to go out and find the man or woman of your dreams.

 

THE TRUTH ABOUT CYBER RELATIONSHIPS:

Today people can meet just about anyone they wanted without having to go on traditional dates. Even when people are not looking for love or a friendly relationship it always comes at unexpected times. The fact that most online relationships take place behind a computer screen can lead to issues like betrayal. The usual lies tend to be amongst cyber affairs which generally occur when the truth is not being met by personal information like age, sex, status, and so forth. The main problem is one can never be too cautious on what information they are receiving nor allowing the other person to have in terms of building a relationship online.

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Cyber Affairs are one of the many forms of relationships that seem to be growing. The idea of cyber affairs is to create this mental relationship that can lead to an actual physical relationship based on the longevity of their interest. Communication plays a big part in the way individual’s use words to convey feelings about the other person and how they affect them. In a real date scenario we find ourselves dressed to impress, where as online dating we find ourselves intellectually prepared to respond.  The power of online dating is through the use of our personality, it is the image that we draw by the use of our language and rhetoric. The dating experience comes with physical and emotional aspects but cyber dating is done through the exchange of thoughts, feelings, opinions, and attitude.

 

CAN LOVE BE DEVELOPED ON AN INTELLECTUAL LEVEL?

 

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The debate on whether or not relationships can develop love without physical touch or presence. The question is “are feelings and thoughts enough to form a realistic love despite intimacy?”. The answer is unclear still but many say that physical appearance is not as important as the emotional connection two individuals have with one another. Whatever the opinion might be on cyber love, the focus is more on what individuals choose the internet as a reliable source of meeting people versus actually going on physical dates. The downfall of falling in love over the internet is that once a relationship has gotten deep enough to share a true love then all chances of physical dating will be disregarded. The chances individuals take with online dating comes with the consequences of either finding a soul mate or finding yourself being addicted to online dating.

 

WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT “CYBER RELATIONSHIPS”

 

I think it’s fine. You can do whatever you want. Who are we to say you can’t?
I, myself, do date online. It’s just a way to fall for someone, even if you don’t know if they look good. So many shallow people in this world, too many..
My boyfriend online thinks I’m beautiful.
We’ll meet someday in real life, I just know it. He has an amazing personality. That’s what made me fall for him.
Online dating is fine, in my opinion. But, you have to be careful, on who you choose to date. There’s always rapist, murders, and pedophiles out there. So, stay on your toes. Online dating is just as good as regular dating, you may not see their face, or hear the voice. But you can always feel their love.  (anonymous opinion)

They hardly work out, but due to the amount of people in today world, they may actually work out.

Meaning, this world is filled with people of all sorts. Many of those people can’t get relationships in life (and not just because they simply “can’t”), so they must try elsewhere. That’s why people turn to Cyber-Space. (anonymous opinion)

As a last resort for people who can’t find spouses, it’s okay, but it’s always better to seek a partner out in the real world cuz you never know…

The thing is, when people go on the internet, they think Allah is not watching. That’s why you see so many perverts and freaks on the internet. (anonymous opinion)

 

Meh, my opinion is, life is short, so as long as you not out hurting anyone, do WHATEVER makes you happy ... :wub:

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Very interesting subject. In my eyes online relations are more intimate than real life. At least from the development point of view. In real life. Sadly to say. First attraction is physical even before one says hi to beginn with. Many start imagine how they would do certain things together and that without even passin to ask 'how r u'. And it's pretty known as being shallow. That's the 'first impression' which is always important and to everyone. For those who may think right now 'that's so not me'. U are already lying to urself. No disrespect.

 

Online relation. In my eyes is based more on mental compatibility. If one come and asks u ' wanna fuck? ' u already judge him and brush him of. Well I would simply if that's the thing I'm after I grab bob the robot. But back to the subject. Online relation more on mental attraction. They can be more intense that rl as everything u do in here is based on words and feelings. Physical is not important cause one is smitten by words and gestures and u build a relation on that simply cause u love the way they think. Equally online relations can be more painful simply because it's based on ur mind and feelings.

 

Btw bran is really bad for u. She lures u into a interesting subject. And one is just forced to reply and that on a lil phone on the bus to work. Making u miss ur stop *rolls eyes* lol

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....

 

Btw bran is really bad for u. She lures u into a interesting subject. And one is just forced to reply and that on a lil phone on the bus to work. Making u miss ur stop *rolls eyes* lol

:rolleyes: So innocent here.... she was flirting with the bus driver and blames me *smh*

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I don't agree that being physically attracted to someone is shallow, it's just another aspect of attraction and it's there for a reason. You just have to remember that it is only the start of the journey of discovery about a person.

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Lol u don't wanna do that with London bus drivers rob. Sometimes I think they forced to drive a bus cause they failed to become a racing driver. But different topic all together lol

 

 

Physical attraction is great. But on a more 'sexual turn on' and yes they are important. But what I'm saying is. A relationship build just on physical is usually doomed to fail. My opinion

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Bran, what a good read you got us there and I also like the stats picture at the end of the post, very interesting. 

 

Why do I have the image in my head of Siin and Rob teaming up to flirt with the London bus driver ?  -_-

 

Ok now, back to the subject, I got to agree with Siin that the physical attraction is always the first step to a relationship in the physical world and it got me thinking of all the potential great relationship that never happen because of what seen to be a physical incomptability at first. And when I say relationship it really a broad definition as two persons building a sense of intimacy that can take many form. 

 

As for online relationship, I have been told more than a few time by people I knew : you should stop chating online and go meet real people. The thing that those peoples doesn't get it that the people I meet online throught the years were very real and they still are. Everything shared online, every words, every laughs, every smile, every tears were very real and I felt them as real that I would with someone in the physical world. As for online relationship to happen you need to be able to connect on a more mental level and been able to communicate what you are feeling. As for a relationship in the physical world to last, you need that same level of mental connection and communication. Because as intense a relationship base on physical attraction can be, it will burn hot and die if there nothing else to keep it alive. 

 

The toughess part with living a online relationship for me as always been when it get to the point where you feel a need for physical intimacy and the person you share that relationship is far beyond your reach. It been one of those thing that kept me awake at night thinking. I think we all get there at some point even if we denied it but then it still depend on the nature of the relationship. 

 

oh, well that was a bit longer that I first intended...  ;)

This is sure a very interesting subject and everyone got to have a opinion on it.

 

*time to get ready for work... I gonna have to take the bus. :rolleyes: * 

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On the topic of "how physical attraction is important and is the first thing that draws you in etc." This is one reason why i think online dating and relationships are so good - A person you meet will be drawn in by your PERSONALITY first rather than your appearance (which would be unfortunately normal in the real physical world.). Therefore, this could arguably mean that you will find someone much more compatible over the internet. Especially in my case, as in real life i have SERIOUS problems with face to face communication and socialising in general. I feel much more comfortable talking to people behind my computer, without the fear of someone looking at my appearance.

 

Online relationships can be very successful depending on the degree of intimacy and honesty. I feel that when 2 people meet online, and want a proper relationship, they would need to go on cam as much as possible with each other, being honest, and set a personal goal to save up or plan a way to meet each other. Long distance relationships require dedication.

 

But i digress, CYBER relationships can be very surprising and painful if both individuals don't make it perfectly clear what they want from the start. I've came across people who literally just want a cyber relationship over the internet with no real incentive to meet up or see each other.

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I agree about CYBER relationships being painful, I seem to be very adept at choosing the wrong people and I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve and get hurt too often and too easily. Thank you to the good choices I've made here who keep me coming back. You know who you are  :)

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On a broader level I think you are missing the point somehow. People have been writing love -and hate- letters for ages.

I mean... What's the difference between writing love letters in early XXth and sending love messages nowadays ? The speed of the pigeon who carries them ? Big deal indeed.

As far as I know every single medium has been taken over by mating calls as soon as it became popular (personal ads, mating phone lines and now the internet... Notwithstanding writing dirty messages in public loo :ph34r: ).

 

Never forget there are human beings between the chair and the keyboard and most of all that the pen is mightier than the sword. So what's the difference with IRL ? Not physically facing one another for a bit of a time ? Don't worry... The need will arise. Sooner than you think. If it doesn't how would you dare calling that a relationship ?

Can't he/she make you sad just with just a few words ? Can't you make him/her happy by picking the right ones ? Do you think you could really behave differently IRL ?  Obiwan Kenobi ?

 

Bottom line (so to speak) : There are no "Cyber" relationships. There are Relationships. Period.

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Can't he/she make you sad just with just a few words ? Can't you make him/her happy by picking the right ones ? Do you think you could really behave differently IRL ?  Obiwan Kenobi ?

 

Bottom line (so to speak) : There are no "Cyber" relationships. There are Relationships. Period.

 

. indeed, very deep and so so true words Shawn .

. who says our own desires and feelings are not implemented into our characters .

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Guest ShirleyE

 

Bottom line (so to speak) : There are no "Cyber" relationships. There are Relationships. Period.

I don't disagree with that, if the intended meaning is that the emotional connection is just as deep and as palpable here as in real life. And yes, that includes the idea that some people form deeper relationships than others and that not all relationships are equally deep.

But one big difference, I think, is that the many skills needed to build relationships successfully here in cyberspace are not entirely the same as the ones needed for successful relationships in RL. 

And, at the risk of turning this into true confessions, I will say that, for me, playing this game has a therapeutic effect that cannot be achieved in real life precisely because of certain physical restraints that do not exist here. Not to mention that I don't have to spend 90 minutes getting ready for a date only to have my husband say: Where are you going all dressed up?    :P 

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  • 1 month later...

So........ there is no such thing as "Pen" pals then. Sry I m a weirdo! I dont know why am I laughing. Theres something wrong with the world!!!! Pen pals... cyber sex... cyber relationships... love makers... partners... swingers... arggghhh im confused like im in da matrixxxx! Best friends forever.... its da same! U dont know its going to be forever or not cause it aint forever yet! Its just friends period!!!! TROLOLL

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  • 2 weeks later...

Ok I'm game

 

Being new to this virtual world and cyber relationships has been interesting. Most of my encounters have at best been casual with a couple of them leaving me unsure as to what just happened. However, when I see someone I like there is a    stirring of feelings. The pulse quickens, breath comes a little faster. Trepidation and desire arise and I find myself wanting to learn more about this person. These are real feelings and not to be discounted.

 

Whats in our hearts and minds are the things that make us who we are. Our values and principles, whether we are spiritual, religious, happy or sad. This is what leads to lasting relationships and the process of learning about each other is not only fun but can be very exciting as well. With open and honest communication this is certainly within our grasp in this virtual world. And yet...

 

What of the physical intimacies? The touch of another, the feel of their soft skin. Their scent or the sound of their voices. The warmth of another as we pull them in closer to us. And lets not forget the eyes. When we look into another's eyes with love and see that love returned is arguably one of the best natural highs I have ever experienced.

 

I'll leave you with these questions. Are our imaginations enough to compensate for the lack of the physical? Does it even matter in developing a meaningful relationship? I don't know yet. Do you?

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