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A Shy Girl's Diary


PurrTgirl

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Dear Diary,

 

Okay so now I'm a bit confused. There's was this hot Indian girl that put her strap to my ass and it was short lived because she wanted to see a picture of my actual dick. Now you know how shy I am as it is and I was definitely not about to show my dick to her! lol. I've never done anything like that anyway EVER! Not knocking those who do. I admire their boldness to show their stuff to any and everybody on the internet but me I never been comfortable with doing that type of thing. It was embarrassing enough to tell her how big I was. When I told her that's when she was like ' fuck me. ' But I had to let her know that today is Thrust Me Thursdays! I take dick/straps today but offered her to add me so she can get a taste of my dick tomorrow on Friendly Fridays. Anyway, she's still putting the strap to me as we're talking about this whole show her my actual dick thing and I told her I'm not as bold as you. She suddenly poofs on me. So I'm like well I looked at her profile and she said she doesn't mix real life with here. Yet she wants and only plays with people that have their real photos. First red flag. And then at the bottom it said No Cold Invites or she ignores you. But she COLDED ME! I had to PM her to sort of let her know that I'm only interested in being penetrated. And then that whole thing happened. But that's kind of confusing. I read profiles and honor what they say and stuff. I was even surprised that she even colded me if she's one that ignores people for colding her. On top of that she only plays with people who have photos and if not she say don't even waste time PMing her. So everything I read in her profile she totally went against her own little thing. I don't know. It was fun getting fucked for a whole 5 minutes I guess? LOL.

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Dear Diary,

 

Well, as I play this game I learn as I go and have come to realize my role here. And it's not a club owner lol. Yea, I tried the User Room route. Just to see what it's like. Titty Tuesdays was really fun for my club but after that it's been pretty dead. The deadness sort of had me look inside myself and realize I really don't even have the passion to be a host of a room. It's already nerve racking for me to keep up with greeting people who come in and stuff. Seems like a lot of work! Besides, I actually find more joy in supporting others rooms, especially my new friends. And there rooms look so much better than mine! I'd rather be in theirs than my own. It's all good. I think the only time I'll open a room is on Friendly Fridays but that'll be for friends only. That would be better for me. No strangers! And then I can use that day to sort of chill out and relax. Won't be out and about much in the 3DX community. I'll treat it like my house, just chilling all day and friends that come over we'll just kick it and shoot the shit. But I do have several friends who have been wanting to have sex with me but due to my schedule they've had to wait LOL. I swear my little schedule thing truly tickles me and it's so fun. Anyway, much love to those successful User Room owners who have consistent busy traffic in it. Not everyone can be leaders. I'm cool with being a supporter.

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Dear Diary,

 

Okay so I think the whole weekly schedule thing has run it's course. I'm thinking about it now and that really sort of puts me in a box. I mean yea it's clever but I'm thinking what if I meet someone and make a good connection and really wanna fuck them but can't because I'm staying true to a cute little schedule? lol, now the idea is silly to me. Learning curves I tell you! I guess now I have to figure out a new About Me display. It was fun though but really not practical to stick with forever!

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Dear Diary,

 

Well, today started with a hot sex moment! lol. But once again, learned something about myself with the whole sex thing. You already know I've never had sex this way before with 3D avatars involved. I was more used to digi chats and java script type cyber sex where it was just the text but now? I can see the action! So it sort of puts a new look on what I type now. Feels kind of odd to me for some reason. I read what my partner says to try and learn and it's kinda awkward for me. Usually I have my imagination to play with when I write sexy stuff before on those digi chats but now that I actually see the action I'm not sure what to type now lol. I try to go along and copy the style of my partners thinking that's how to do it but the more I look at it, it doesn't feel right. It's fair to say, I don't know how to 3DX fuck like I thought. At first it was fine but the more I look at it, it seems strange. Like I'll describe sucking a dick and stuff but it's like, I don't know, I can't keep it going for a long time for some reason. I run out of things to say yet my partners seem to have loads to say. The whole time I'm aroused at the visual mostly. LOL. I need 3DX Sex Education!

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Dear Diary,

 

I believe I figured out the kind of sex partner I am. I'm a sapiosexual for crying out loud, lol. Makes total sense. I'm so attracted at the mind of a person and their personality. I think that's why the descriptive stuff doesn't do much for me cause that doesn't require much intellect. Yay! I figured it out!

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Dear Diary,

 

OMG I think I found one of those people who I simply light up when I see them. She is so cool and we have good sexual chemistry. She's new like me but much newer. I been here for a couple months but she's been here like a couple weeks! She's already creating awesome rooms though. And I love her style of dress. She has the wild and free look about her. And always has a beer in her hand lol. 2 Cute!! Overall, my day has been a bit peaceful. Some guy was talking down about my friends which wasn't too cool but whatever. I know who I'm loyal to. Love not Hate. This sapiosexual thing though? Really needed to own this about myself. It truly does what the weekly schedule did only 10 times better. Filters out un-wanted sex partners! It truly is a unique style based on what I've already been witnessing so far. It's really not about doing things that make me uncomfortable. Nor do I want to enslave myself in the thinking that I have to do it a certain way to please someone when they really don't even have to have sex with me. My style is a unique one in that area. It's actually kind of funny and still sexy and real. But I don't want to criticize others for how they do things too harshly. I might have did that a little bit in my last talk with you. But seriously, I can re-call being a teenager typing ' sex talk. ' No real brain power in that and really a person's mind is ultimately what gets my dick hard. Yea, I wanna fuck now but don't stop the conversation!

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Dear Diary,

 

Another day in paradise. I tell you what. These profiles are so entertaining to read. So many people here with an actual GOOD sense of humor. It's so fun reading some of these profiles. Usually from a profile I can tell if I'm going to have sex with a person or not. I love my foreign friends and all but if they don't speak good English then it's hard for me to get attracted to them sexually. All these avatars look related anyway so it's not like the visual is really going to make an exception for anyone. It's what people say that gives their visual attraction. So with that said I had to kindly decline an offer that was made to me. Some guy wanted me to fuck his wife. Apparently she wanted to dominate me but she spoke little English. I wasn't sure how that was going to work but I was not excited about that so much. Just dancing looking PurrT in a friend's room though. She's really got it packed out in here with the Reggae music blazing. I love some good reggae. Getting lots of questions about what a sapiosexual is. I'm surprised a lot of people don't know what it is though. It's fun to explain. I think all of us are sapiosexual to an extent. I'm only different when it comes to fucking though cause I don't really talk like others do during that hot moment. But when I try to explain how I do it and then they try to get with it, it just seems a bit off. I see myself as a person with a pretty sound mind and stuff and I tend to do things the smart way not the hard way. I just find it a bit weird for me to focus so much on sex talk during sex when I didn't come here for the sex talk, but the avatars. Not saying I won't talk! That's boring! But my style of talking during sex is a bit unique lol. Seriously, I'm that girl that will talk to you about the game last night while you're pounding me in froggy style. I don't know, I just find that so sexy cause it's honest, real, and friendly.

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Dear Diary,

 

I'm cool. Really, I'm cool. I just almost lost a few screws when a person came to me in PM telling me to not have sex in their room. Clearly it's a party club room but for them to come at me in PM to tell me that sort of thing had me feel single'd out based on what happened at Event 4. They been reading my Forum posts allegedly so they should know that I've well learned my lesson since then and wasn't even intending on doing such a thing in there in the first place but to be PM'd like that and be told to not have sex in there, suddenly I took on a rare hat that I never wear, let alone knew existed. Some sort of strong wild cat persona took over and I simply asserted to the person why I wasn't going to have sex in there anyway. But the way I said it was sort of like, condescending but not rude or raggedy. It was classy, tactful, and actually made me feel kind of good. In so many words I said that many 3DX users lack the mental aptitude to stimulate me sexually anyway so that should tell you how slim the chances were of me having sex in your room was anyway. It just came out but I read it again and was like oh snap! I said that? We kept talking and we're good now but wow. I didn't know I had it in me to sort of be that sort of assertive. Is there some warrior wild cat gene I've been blind to and am now discovering? You know what? It's these new friends I have, that's what it is. LOL. When I was a shy little pussy cat in tears they was all like fuck them, who needs them, fuck that shit, let me at them so I can give them a piece of mind. All that energy is what they have and I think it may have got into my blood stream some how. I don't know, lol. Scary part is, it actually felt good. But no, I'm not going to turn into a bitch now. But that is a step in a right direction with my shyness. That's my first time actually standing up for myself and it actually resulted in a resolution and not drama. PurrTgirl gone Bad? I hope that's not the case, but PurrTgirl is mustering up some courage it seems. 

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Dear Diary,

 

Wow. She's a thick beauty that had me going with just cuddles and kisses. You know I'm a sucker for a fun personality. She had me laughing all night and then it just led to us being on the bed and touching on each other and licking necks and sucking lips and next thing I know we were bottomless. It was hot to know that she's married. Then again, her husband don't mind if she plays with other girls so I can't brag too hard, right? lol. But still. She was working my body with just her hands and lips and all I could do was wonder how it would feel to have my face buried in her pussy. She really enjoyed stroking my shaft in her hands and I enjoyed it as well obviously but all I could think about? Was dipping my tongue deep in her slit. Like OMG! She is so sexy to me inside and out. Once she took my jeans and panty hose off I just knew it was about to get real hot and sweaty. My mouth was watering and everything. So she began to work my dick with her hand some more and I was about to flip her over and then she says ' alright girl I gotta cook for my son. ' I'm like what? Are you serious right now? LOL. She teased me so fucking good that now I'm just like ok, pay back is a bitch LOL. She still my sexy buddy though. I'm going to get her back. Trust me on that.

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Dear Diary,

 

Yay! I did my first role play today! It was so fun. Okay so this is how it went. I'm at this Futa Party just dancing having a good time and suddenly I get a PM from this woman. She greeted me in purple letters with some sort of nicely illustrated narrative type thing. It was really good. She greeted me in asking if I missed my homeland. Immediately I'm like wow, this person reads profiles cause obviously she read that I'm Egyptian. So I'm I responded and it was a good little back and forth. So many people was in there that I couldn't find her so I just looked at her profile and there it was, she was some sort of Succubus thing. So I'm like ah ok, that explains how she was talking. So, eventually she asked if I wanted to keep her company. What she didn't know is that I had already just had sex with a hot blonde at this party so I was pretty much good on sex for the moment. But I finally spotted where she was and she was seated on a sofa with a pole in front of it. So I offered if she could handle me dancing on a pole to keep her company. She was so into her role!! She said something like well that's not a wise thing to do to tempt a Succubus or something like that. LOL! so I laughed and said yea you're right, what was I thinking. So she was nice about it and did a little blow kiss thing at me. Suddenly, my love for just being that person that gives you what you want and put my needs to the side decided to play along with this. So I flipped the script and made the kiss be some sort of powerful seductive hex kiss. I typed it out some kind of way and suddenly played the role of a helpless soul under the control of a Succubus because of the kiss she blew at me. OMG! It was on from there! She fucked the finite shit out of me! From the couch to the bed, honey. I was like damn! The stuff she was typing and coming up with I was like WOW, I see why people are into role play. It was very very hot. Literally, a Succubus's pussy is hot like lava and stuff and it just keeps me hard and in a trance of pleasure..it's crazy.

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Dear Diary,

 

Well, just when I thought I found a suitable sex style on comes an even BETTER ONE. Really I got tired of explaining to people what a sapiosexual was. And only a handful of people really get it. But then I was in this Orgy like club room. And met this fine ass white dude. We all kissing and stuff and I was like man we need to find a bed or something, what you think? He was like let's go to his place. I said cool. My mind was initially set on fucking him in that room but he wanted a more private setting so when we got to his room I really loved how he had it decorated. So, I just naturally acted out the scene like how I would've acted if this happened in real life. I'm walking around his room. Looking at the stuff. I mean yeah, I could've just scanned the room from one spot but I felt like actually LIVING THROUGH THE AVATAR, honey. And it just took over me and next thing I knew the light bulb came on. My eyes looked and realized that this is just like an XXX Comic Book. All I have to do is talk as if I'm literally the avatar. I'm like OMG!! It's that simple!! And you know what? That shit turned me the fuck.....ON, you hear me?lol. I mean wow, like why be descriptive? That's not even how comic books do it. They simply put the words in the bubble of the character to give LIFE to the IMAGE!! That's all this is!! And baby, I am good with that.

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Dear Diary,

 

Seems as each day goes by I grow a little more. Change a little more. Learn a little more. It doesn't take long to catch on the jist of this place. Probably my 1st 2 weeks was my most slutty days lol. Then it went into sort of learning the social aspect of it as far as the people and how to actually move around and conduct myself with others here. Lots of learning curves there! From that it went into making friends and really connecting with people. I've made a few good friends that I really enjoy hanging around. Other friends are more so for the sexual benefit. Which leads me to my next course of learning. The Sex Life. I've learned a good bit about role play but more so learning more about myself. Things I like and don't like. And I must say honey, I can see how the sex can get old for some. I believe you can over do it to where it's not even ' fun ' anymore. Hasn't become that way for me though, and I hope it never does! But I do notice the value in not really being so ' easy ' so to speak. It's hard for me to say no most times. Especially if a guy is polite and honest about it. But I think now more than ever I'm starting to toy with the whole relationship idea. Maybe even marriage. It's not really a heavy thought yet but it sort of spark a flame of interest when I met a cuckhold guy today. He spoke very well, good personality and stuff. He just likes to be a cuckhold and was looking for a girlfriend. I know enough about cuckhold to understand that I'd be able to still fuck who I wanted yet still have him around to sort of chill with. Come to find out he has or had many gfs at the same time while cuckholding so I sort of lost interest. Which then started the thoughts of that whole relationship thing. I really do understand more now how 3DX is more than just SEX. I think that mind set is for the newer users and not for long will I still be able to claim the title of being new. I think when you get to the point in understanding what this game is really about? That's it's not just about SEX and playing games with others in sexual ways? That's when you can say with confidence that you are no longer new to 3DX. Instead, you have arrived.

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Dear Diary,

 

1 too many monkeys today, honey. And by monkey I mean those men who only think with their banana. Some guy had the nerve to try and rape me while I was tinkling at the Night Club. But this other guy is what really got me giggling on the inside. I'm at Sin Club talking to a good friend and when it was over I went to the dance floor to dance and stuff. So then that's when this guy PM'd me. We start talking and stuff and he offers to go to the beach. I was like awww this is cute, hell yeah let's go. I said something like well let me go change into a bikini and I'll meet you there. This monkey gone say ' If you want, we can go to your apartment to get the bikini ' I said what? In my mind I'm like okay are we going to the beach or do you just want some ass. But I already knew what he wanted, some ASS! See when guys think with their banana they don't make sense when they talk. If he was smart about it, he would've went to the Beach with me and more than likely I would've had sex with him at the damn beach but he just had to switch up and be like ' If you want..' OMG! I hate when guys say that. ' If you want..' Like, seriously you came to me so obviously it's what YOU WANT. I'm already doing what I want to do which is dancing at Sin Club but that's how monkeys talk. He was a gentleman at first with the lets go to the beach idea. That's what gave him a chance to get sex with me. But damn it he went monkey mode and right after the beach offer says..' If you want, we can go to your apartment ' So, I was totally turned off and said I'm going to the ladies room. Never came back.

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Dear Diary,

 

Learning shit again, honey. Learning learning learning and you know what? People's idea of Role Play is about to get them fucked up. Like I'm so serious. Since when was it cool to just purple letter some shit that would have you to touch my fuckin ass. Oh, so that's how you do in real life? You just purple letter shit you do in real right? Fuck around and get slapped. I'm sick of these men on here and there purple letter bullshit like I'm supposed to play a long with that disrespectful shit. If that's their idea of Role Play? I got a remedy for that. This guy comes to my club and does that purple letter bullshit, right? said some shit like ' grabs your ass while you pass by ' I was instantly livid. Didn't snap or anything. So I said ' You want to fuck me? ' He gone say oh well it's up to you if you want to but I would love to. I had to ask his dumb ass again cause obviously he don't understand a motherfuckin yes or no question. So I asked him again ' Do you want to fuck me? ' He gone say yes please. I said THEN ASK. This monkey brain says I would like to have sex with you. I said that's a statement, not asking. I know you wanna fuck me but you need to ASK ME. He says ok let me try again. Would you like to have fun and have sex? I said NO. Shut his dumb ass the fuck down and guess what? He ain't purple letter shit else. I usually don't cuss this much but I'm so fucking irritated with that shit. And it's EVERY FUCKING DAY. I would much rather a dude cold me then purple letter my ass against my will with some violating type shit. Give me the chance to consent to your purple letter grade school Idea of Role Play so I can reject you if I ain't in the mood for the shit. OOOOOOOOO! so fucking hot right now.

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Dear Diary,

 

Hey. I'm going to be positive. Really I am. Not everyone will stroke you the right way and vise versa. Not about to feel bad for using 3DX Forums. It's open to the community as a whole to use and I will not be ashamed of it. Some are jealous. Jealousy is a beast that has always been around roaming this Earth. Jealousy is that thing that wants something that it doesn't have. I don't know what I have that has a particular person jealous. It's funny how some like this individual will try and bring you down. I won't let that happen. They will be dealt with accordingly cause their comment was unnecessary. They're ignorant and judgmental and I really have much compassion for those who lack understanding on things. Hypocrisy is something I'm not a fan of though. This person is clearly that. And for that they are a poison to my 3DX experience. It's a shame this person has to be that way towards me but what can you. Ignore them. Pretty sure I wouldn't be able to have a sensible conversation with them about it to get to a place of peace because obviously this person is too jealous to do such a thing. They're only resort is to try and get me to get out of a sensible character. I'll simply assert my position and keep it moving. I start a topic for the community to get involved in. It's not about me. It's only about me when I write to you. I'm an open book and I'm glad 3DX created this space in Forums for me to be that. However, this person felt the need to take a page out of my open book and use it to attack me with it to create an argument. All this person did was limit her eyes to material to criticize. Cause she'll no longer be able to read mines. I don't need that kind of attention nor do I want or seek that kind of attention either. 

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Dear Diary,

 

It's been a very active morning in the Forums. I don't know. I feel like I'm being criticized for having a gift. I can live in my gift because it offends. Actually, it seems that my gift has me to look like an ' attention seeker. ' My gift has me to look like I don't accept others POV. I guess that's what the saying ' gift and a curse ' comes from. I love writing/reading. Been doing it since a child, you know this. It's my outlet cause I'm actually shy in real life. I don't say much to nobody really. I come online to write not talk. I express myself in ways many aren't able to. I don't do it to show off and say hey look at me. I do it cause it's me once again, trying to work on my shyness and let myself be known to others. But wow, it's not being received too well by a few. And it really is a few. And it's only on certain topics. I really hope these select few are not shallow to the point of judging me as a whole from one TOPIC of discussion. That's just a sad reality of the state of some people's brain matter. I mean I'm getting called all kinds of trolls and attention seeking whore and all this. I'm none of those things. Never have been. It's like I can express my opinion in such a way that it may arouse jealousy and hate because those reading would like to be able to express theirs in that way. That's my only conclusion as to why these labels are coming at me. This is natural to me. This is years and years of practice from writing in a journal since a kid. Writing little short stories here and there. Reading books. I've always done this and here I come to 3DX to simply be who I am and to have it looked at in the wrong way after clearly explaining how it is not that, really puts me in a all black attire type mood. I'm gifted so be quiet? I was on the debate team in school so be quiet? No. I won't be quiet. I can't be quiet. It's what they want. It's what they're hoping for. They're actually hoping to get me upset and respond negatively. That won't happen either. I'm a person that learns from mistakes and makes improvements. I share knowledge as well as gain it. I share experiences for those who are too shy to share it. And as I continue to witness how things go as far as people's responses online, it only prepares me for days to come in my real life when I finally start talking more. I think it'll be the same results. Some will like you, some won't. Some will agree with you, some won't. Some will say things the right way, and others will say things the wrong way. I won't be a door mat here. Won't be rude, but I will assert myself to certain individuals. I have an opinion bout a SUBJECT MATTER, not a person. But yeah that's that if the shoe fits wear it thing I guess. I guess the topics I touch on are effecting people who are wearing the shoes. Granted, some of these female avatars are male operated anyway. Straight men at that. Makes sense that they would not understand half the things I write about. Men posing as women with the male mindset of degrading women so of course they don't mind their female avatar degraded and disrespected. They're men posing as women in a very perverted way. It's always ' women ' on these Forums that are coming at me crazy with posts I post that DEFEND the HONOR of WOMEN. Imagine that. It don't take a rocket scientist to understand what's going on here. They're projecting themselves and need to just realize that they're gay and stop hating on me for knowing who and what I am. Makes no sense.

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Dear Diary,

 

This seems to be the beginning of filtering out certain energy. It amazes me how an opinion on a topic can give people the right to be God. One opinion on a topic some how gives a person all the information they need as far as who I am. LOL! Please. And it's coming from people that I never even seen before. Like I don't even know this one particular woman but she felt the need to say that she's going to ignore me as soon as she gets the chance and I'm just like who are you anyway? It would literally not effect me cause I don't even know her. But she calls me arrogant for throwing around the term ' rape ' How do you even talk to a person with a mind like that. It's useless. The same jabs they take at me for saying I only care about my opinion are the same ones who clearly choose to ignore how I repeatedly said I don't condone rape. It's like wow, these people must suck in cyber sex lol. I have to make light of it cause that's what I'm gathering. They write so basic if they think I'm just throwing around the word rape yet are clearly refusing to see the emotion behind why I use that word to describe my severe distaste for men who purple letter me without my consent. Some very pious judgmental people here but I'm not new to that type of energy. Ever since I transitioned I've been dealing with that from my own blood line. There's no rationalizing with hate. You just eradicate.

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Guest RomanFox

Dear Diary,

 

Learning shit again, honey. Learning learning learning and you know what? People's idea of Role Play is about to get them fucked up. Like I'm so serious. Since when was it cool to just purple letter some shit that would have you to touch my fuckin ass. Oh, so that's how you do in real life? You just purple letter shit you do in real right? Fuck around and get slapped. I'm sick of these men on here and there purple letter bullshit like I'm supposed to play a long with that disrespectful shit. If that's their idea of Role Play? I got a remedy for that. This guy comes to my club and does that purple letter bullshit, right? said some shit like ' grabs your ass while you pass by ' I was instantly livid. Didn't snap or anything. So I said ' You want to fuck me? ' He gone say oh well it's up to you if you want to but I would love to. I had to ask his dumb ass again cause obviously he don't understand a motherfuckin yes or no question. So I asked him again ' Do you want to fuck me? ' He gone say yes please. I said THEN ASK. This monkey brain says I would like to have sex with you. I said that's a statement, not asking. I know you wanna fuck me but you need to ASK ME. He says ok let me try again. Would you like to have fun and have sex? I said NO. Shut his dumb ass the fuck down and guess what? He ain't purple letter shit else. I usually don't cuss this much but I'm so fucking irritated with that shit. And it's EVERY FUCKING DAY. I would much rather a dude cold me then purple letter my ass against my will with some violating type shit. Give me the chance to consent to your purple letter grade school Idea of Role Play so I can reject you if I ain't in the mood for the shit. OOOOOOOOO! so fucking hot right now.

 

LOL, I guess they can't all be like me. *grabs popcorn*. I have to admit it was kind of shocking to see a post like this coming from you. I really enjoyed reading the uplifting, cheerful stuff but this just took me by surprise. Unfortunately, It's a common thing around 3DX... And I'm not going to defend the male gender here... a lot of you guys suck (probably literally) and ruin it for people who like to have their minds seduced as opposed to having someone swing their "banana" (reference to the monkey post xD) at them. I really hope this stuff will not further influence PurrTgirl's other diary posts... or I might just have to come online and strangle you all (not in a kinky way...).

 

Keep it up PurrTgirl ;) great read!

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Guest Sheila

You're probably right Rob...thought she cameback in new avi account, you know, she write similar as her...I'm fucking stupid to think so, sorry

 I have a serious problem ,really serious mental desease...I'm too paranoiac shiiiit.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hkXHsK4AQPs

 

You have got to be kidding me, I already announced in here I made this account for messages so it's no big secret who I am now.

I have given up posting in this forum and I am not one to make an alt to do trolling like others in here do, I hate that about this forum and is one of the reasons I want nothing to do with posting in it now.

No way in the world do I write or think anything like her.

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Come on PurrT, why you blocked me up? why you take it so seriously? ...btw, curiously, I'm also blocked on twiggy account, what a coincidence.

Based on time zones alone - without even considering other relevant factors - your assumption is way off here. I doubt anyone would get up in the middle of the night to write really tame troll threads from an alt account.

 

So you were right... you identified a coincidence.

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