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Taking a relationship outside the game


Domonique

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Hi there lads and ladies,

 

I guess the reason for this post is that I'm curious. I know that it's rare that a virtual couple in a sex game can take it to the real world and make it work, both in game and out (especially if you don't want an open relationship). I want to know how rare it really is, so far I've not met anyone yet who has met in the game and then taken it into reality, is there anyone else out there who has made it work? If any of you are happy to share, I want to know your stories, how it happened and what you did to make it work. What were your biggest struggles and how did you resolve them?

 

Maybe we could hear from people who haven't managed to make it work in the real world too? What struggles you faced, why (in your opinion) didn't it work and what would you do differently if you had the chance? Maybe give some advice for people looking to take that step? We're all aware of that common problem where someone has turned out to be the opposite gender to their avi, but I'm talking about beyond that, where you've spoken to them through skype, discord or any other method and tried to have a relationship outside the restraints of 3DX, maybe even met up with them IRL, but it didn't last.

 

Your stories don't have to be 3DX specific, maybe if you have experiences with Achat, RLC or some other sex game? Or even if you just wanted to share an opinion on the subject (though please keep it constructive!) I'd love to hear from you.

 

If anyone wants me to, I'm happy to share my experiences and answer any questions about mine and RomanFoxs relationship.

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Thanks for your input guys :3

 

RobT: You are right, it does depend on what people think of as being together. I think I would tend to agree with you, that the stories I'm looking for are the ones where the couples are intending on being together in every sense of the phrase, making those changes to accommodate each other in their RL and progressing the relationship as you would have done if you'd met in more conventional settings. Does that make sense?

 

SilverSurfer: Thank you so much for sharing :3 Trust is definitely something that's difficult to maintain, in any situation but I think the very nature of the game does put added pressure on it, because you're right. It does take a lot of faith to be able to trust that someone is staying faithful and it was a struggle for us too, both of us tend to get territorial and protective of the other which can make things difficult too. I think once you know a persons habits, both in and out of the game, it becomes easier to detect the subtleties when there's something amiss.. Fox and I spend almost all our time messaging and talking on discord, so when something changes in our mood, we've learned each others 'tells'.. though this isn't always accurate and we have to trust that when we ask, they're telling the truth.

 

I did see that post and watched the documentary from the link they provided, I didn't read much of the thread though because it didn't seem to focus much on the relationship aspect, at least on the first couple of pages and the documentary focused mostly on the VR enhancements that are available, I might return to it and see if I can find more about that side of things.

 

I can understand the pressures of changing your life to fit the other person into it, my life a year ago was completely different from now and this time next year it'll probably be completely different again, all because of the changes we want to make so that we're not long distance anymore.. we were lucky enough that we were both ready for a change, though I don't think either of us realised just how big of a change it would be lol. Even when that time comes, we've made some good friends in 3DX so we're likely to still hang around sometimes. It might seem weird but I kind of compare it to how a couple would favour the restaurant they had their first date in :3 we met in the game so I think, aside from the friends we've made, we'd keep coming back for nostalgia purposes :3

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Guest RomanFox

On every platform that has room for roleplaying, whether it's an MMORPG such as World of Warcraft, a social platform such as IMVU or in this case an adult entertainment platform... There's bound to be people that meet eachother and develop a strong fondness towards eachother. There's stories out there of a couple that met through videogames and ended up being perfectly happy together. There will always be discussions whether or not it's a good idea or not, but that's not really the point here.

 

It takes two people that are open to it and willing to make such a thing work. In my case, with Domonique (this forum thread's OP) we were probably unaware about how open we actually were about the idea.

I keep preaching about being open and honest towards your partner, whether this is in this virtual environment or in reality, that still applies. We both met eachother in a time where we were dealing with issues... even though some of these issues were 3DX related (and thus by some considered as invalid) we managed to grow closer because we could openly talk about them and give the other person that little nudge and boost to get back up and move on. It was only later that we discovered that, at the core, we were pretty much alike. We had similar interests (including hobbies), we were open and honest... and I'd be lying if I said we weren't both insatiable either (why else would we be in a game such as this one?). We got together, not with the intention to make it into something real, in fact, I think I can vaguely recall we both wanted to stay safe and not get our real lives involved... but sometimes people just have an urge to talk with someone about something that happened, which was basically what opened the door.

 

I can agree that a platform such as 3DX is most likely the worst idea when it comes to dating and finding a RL partner, but as said before, where there's people there's a possibility...

A thing such as this, where two people meet and decide to bring it into the real world and work to get a relationship beyond the boundaries of the game only works when two people are playing as themselves and are willing to let someone in. That's why 3DX isn't the best dating platform because most of the playerbase is here to play out their fantasies and a RL relationship is usually the last thing on their minds. My advice would be, don't focus on it specifically, but if you're looking for it... be open to it when the chance presents itself... then just let things guide you. More often than not, it might fail... it might even make you less perceptible to it in the future... but in some rare cases, things turn out just right and all the struggles and difficulties suddenly become worth it.

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As is so often the case, Fox is right. I've found that, other than the trust issue, the biggest obstacle people seem to come across is themselves, it can be for a wide variety of reasons. It could be the "it's just a game" mentality, people being jaded or people are just plain scared to let themselves be that vulnerable to someone who starts out as a complete stranger, especially when meeting them in a virtual setting because you have no idea if this person is even who they say they are.

 

I was one of those people who were terrified of letting someone in because of the RL situation I was in, as Fox mentioned, we were both dealing with stuff when we met and I knew that the developing feelings would only make matters more complicated. On a number of times I tried to run away from it, there was even a time I tried to completely cut all contact with him! Obviously it didn't stick! But if I hadn't chosen to get out of my own way, we might not be where we are today.

 

With being open to a relationship, I kind of equate it to trying find a pen.. bear with me, it'll make sense! If you're looking for a pen, a lot of the time you can't for the life of you find one, or the one you do find doesn't work (like when you're on the phone and need to write something down and you're not prepared for it), then when you don't really need one and you've stopped looking.. you find a pen that works perfectly! It's kind of a similar concept, if you're looking for a relationship in the game, chances are you'll only meet people who aren't really interested or you end up trying to force it when it doesn't work. So be open to it and when you find a pen that works, grab it and don't let go.. they're hard to find :3

 

Being open and honest with each other is often half the battle, you'll still get problems and issues crop up but it's that much easier to deal with them if you have that down.

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I can't go in to detail but, my ex wife met her now current partner here on 3dx. They are still together now after 2 years.

 

Aww they're still together :) often wondered how they were going

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In the three months I have been here, I have seen and met several couples that seem to make their relationship work outside the game. It seems the dynamics are very different for each one I have encountered, but they seem to make it work for them. I would never attempt something like that on this game, but everyone is different and some people are able to find gold in a big pile of dirt so to speak. And who knows, I guess never say never. LOL. Basically where there is people, and where there is real feelings and needs and desires, there is always some chance at a connection. Yes I think making it work here is probably really hard work and not very realistic or practical ... but that's the beauty in life I guess. You just never know until you try.

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Thank you for your input Bree :3

 

I guess it's like meeting people irl :) every relationship is different lol 

 

I definitely didn't start out looking for a relationship and I pretty much had the same outlook on it that you did. I didn't want what happened in 3DX to mix with my RL. As time went on, I met one or two people that had potential to make it to RL but I still didn't want to take it to that level. It wasn't until I met Fox that it changed my mind.

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This is a topic that is pretty hard to answer, what might work for some might not work for others. But my opinion is that love is a very real thing in this game of ours, we're human after all. I've though about meeting people RL aswell but I had an experience that has turned me away from that idea, namely being in relation with someone that was pretending to be someone else than they really were. Made me think that the same friends you know here could be vastly different outside this enviroment and that scares me.

 

For people like you and Roman it has worked very well and that gives me a little light in the darkness, but I'm still unsure if I really want to meet someone outside of here. But people seem to forget the true nature of this game and that leaves for some issues too, like exclusivity for example. I still don't know if I can ever manage to do that in here since It's a far stretch for me and would probably be the end of me too. lol

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Your question leave some mark in my mind and this is very tough question. I think there's some possibility that other people apply this in real life.  But I've never encounter people like that. So, I'm not yet sure about what I said. But, we all know in our generation there's nothing impossible right now. Example social media or internet is one of the source to find a sex mate or partner, right? So, there's nothing impossible. I think if you work hard you will get a good result but remember man its always depend in the situation.

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Lots of people here look for RL contact especially newer people. I think it's not that uncommon for most people to try having contact outside the game in one way or another but for me "being together means" living together and I think that’s fairly rare. I think in many ways doing that is like starting over and there are many easier ways to meet people to date in RL, and more importantly doing that kills the whole purpose of this being a fantasy… at least it does for me. Some people can be happy with a real long distance relationship longer term but I don’t think that’s me.

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This sure is an interesting post.

 

Yes, I also got feelings attached. It's not something I planned for, I simply played the game ... fun funny friends... and then it just happened.... you know feelings... and then comes the issues... what is real and what is fantasy.... you start questioning yourself... is this true... and the more you think, the more it hurts. ... 

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I'd never ever meet anyone off the internet. If I did it'd never be on any site that has to do with sex. I would never recommend meeting someone off the internet, but in the end it's up to you. Just my personal feelings. I know not everyone is a crazy psycho killer but you can never be to careful.

 

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I'm so sorry that happened to you Tom, I can't imagine what that must have been like for you.

 

What I can imagine is how far you went with this person because I am there with Fox. We text and talk everyday, we visit each other as much as possible. We have been completely real and honest with each other and we have a real, albeit long distance, relationship that we intend on taking to the next level and we are working towards moving countries to be together.

 

I guess my point is this, there are always two sides to every coin and although there are a lot of people out there who will hurt you, not everyone out there is out to use you as a play thing to pass the time.

 

Yes, be careful who you share your heart with, tread slowly and carefully if you choose to open yourself up to another person, but don't completely shut yourself off from the possibilities.

 

(Yes I'm a complete romantic at heart!)

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Just a cautionary tale on my part.   I’d met and fallen for someone here.  We went so far beyond the game that you cannot imagine, (skype, phone calls, actual meetings) It turned out that all we’d shared and hoped for was just a lie, a fiction that she’d shared with many other’s here.   So be very careful out there who you trust.  It’s all likely just a fiction, a pleasant distraction that in the end means nothing.  I feel like a fool.  Try to be careful out there everyone.   Guard your heart or someone will tear it out.  (if you know me and would like more info, please feel free to PM)

Tom, yea as you know I am intimately aware of this with the same person thankfully with me it didn't get as far man but you're words are important for all of us and we as well as a few others should heed them. Thanks for your help in this whole situation man.

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I'm so sorry that happened to you Tom, I can't imagine what that must have been like for you.

 

What I can imagine is how far you went with this person because I am there with Fox. We text and talk everyday, we visit each other as much as possible. We have been completely real and honest with each other and we have a real, albeit long distance, relationship that we intend on taking to the next level and we are working towards moving countries to be together.

 

I guess my point is this, there are always two sides to every coin and although there are a lot of people out there who will hurt you, not everyone out there is out to use you as a play thing to pass the time.

 

Yes, be careful who you share your heart with, tread slowly and carefully if you choose to open yourself up to another person, but don't completely shut yourself off from the possibilities.

 

(Yes I'm a complete romantic at heart!)

Domonique, You and i have talked about this before you and Fox are an inspriation to those of us who have a romantic streak and a heart. I am so happy its going so well with the two of you:)

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Guest Mulan

Domonique, You and i have talked about this before you and Fox are an inspriation to those of us who have a romantic streak and a heart. I am so happy its going so well with the two of you:)

I agree that Dom and Fox are an inspiration.

 

However, what Dom and Fox have is very rare and it is not something I would stay on 3DX for to think, one day I could meet someone like that. From what I understand, Dom and Fox were not seeking this, it just kind of happened. I don't believe that seeking love generally works anyway, love just happens when you least expect it. If you are seeking real life love then I would look at dating websites, not a sex game come social platform.

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I agree with you Mulan, 3dx is definately not a dating site.   I would hope no one comes here for that purpose.   But connections do happen and lines get crossed.  I would imagine the number of times that it works is pretty rare.   The amount of honesty and trust required is a big ask.  

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