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hating who you have become?


JohnL

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Alot of stuff has changed since I joined back in 2014. Dramas have been fought, I was betrayed and have been cheated. Did it change me? Yes! And sometimes I hate how I am now, but its the bad experience and mistakes we do, that shapes us and we need to live with it as it will become a part of us. The past never comes back and the future is an everchanging what's to come.

 

But theres no darkness without light. Of course there where also many happy times that have an impact too. Still its safe to say I am a different in many ways then back when I joined for sure.

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Yes. Everyday I have same shitty feeling.

It's killing me from inside. *sighs*

Change your mind, because what you think is what you are.

 

Try not to hate yourself. To archive this, try not to hate your wholelife(your body, your personality, your social ability). It's okay that you cannot love it now.Why? Because it is your status now only. You can change and improve throughout your life. Life is about learning.Many people overestimate what they can change in a day, and underestimate what they can change in life.

 

Don't judge/compare your life by how others or You judge/compare it. How is the point. You may not love your life now but don't judge/compare You. Why? Because no one is capable to judge or to compare. The one who judge is the one who knows the whole picture of your life, which means… only God.

 

You are at this point of life, but it doesn't make you anything.

 

Never give up on your life. No matter how bad you feel, don't give up.Why? You give up because you hate. Try not to hate as mentioned. It is a mind circle.

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Have I changed because of this game? Hell, yeah. I've changed back to a more rounded version of the person I was before some RL circumstances constructed an emotional roadblock that our virtual world helped me overcome. 3DX has helped heal me. There's a karma element to this game. I've seen it too often for that not to be true. What we inflict upon others is eventually inflicted upon us. It's how we absorb those lessons which defines how we grow. 3DX should change us, any social interaction surely does. And good people change for the better.

 

So no, I don't hate who I've become.  I love that who I once was, is who I am once more...

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Wow, that can cut deep for some people. I've been with the 3dx program for a couple years off and on, more so lately. But this message board for only a couple months.  I can't  say I hate what I've become. Maybe it's my age as I'm in my 40s, but this site more tests me on who and what I already am more than anything else.  

 

I think, with this world in the state it's in today, that if I haven't done myself or anyone else any purposeful harm and have done my best to correct anything that would be considered damaging, then I cant see any reason to be hating on myself. Are there a few things I'd like to change? Sure, we all have things we would gladly swap out for better in our own minds. But over all that seems to be a state of mind of never enjoying what you do have and always thinking other people have it better.

 

The trouble with that is everyone has problems and issues to deal with. Everyone. Some just manage them a lot better than others while some have no idea where to start or what to do.

 

One of the things I have learned early on is that our choices in life can help add to and eventually sway who we are. If you are not happy with who or where you are then do something different. Think about the kind of person you want to be and then break down what might help get you there.

 

There is this idea of "fake it til you make it" going around lately, and if a person is determined enough to do or be something better (within reachable reason of course), then starting to behave in that way no matter what anyone else says can get you going in that direction. If you are not sure how then do some research, find a life coach, talk to a councilor of some sort, whatever it takes to get you on a path you would rather be on. 

 

Most important, never give up. Relax, slow down, observe and contemplate when you need to, but never give up.

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Guest SherryS

You know that saying the one that says; "What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger." I've found that you learn to live and let live in this community. You may do your thing and it affect others in a positive way or a negative way in real life, this  can also be said in the virtual reality. I like someone else said am in my forties many things in my life have shaped me into the person I am. I cant  pretend that I'm perfect because let's face it no one is. I can also say that I don't take much that is said there to heart because I have some major trust issues and my moods can change in an instant. But I can say with a true and clear clarity that I as a person wish no maliciousness on no one. I may block people for being a dumb asses or  jerk wads, I also may tell them exactly what I think of their words. But can I in all honesty say this places has changed me one way or another? has it made me a better or worse person? I can't say it has but it has made me take a look at who I am in regards to my actions in the game and I can also say sometimes I've not liked me. But I'm stronger for it.  

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In my experiences people actually very rarely change. they may tone things up or down but you are who you are and that will always come to the surface sooner or later. Take me for example. I came here a prick, I am a prick now and i will leave here one day a prick. I may not be as big as a prick as i was before but still a prick.

 

... but a nice prick :D

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Guest beccie

This is a very personal topic for me as it goes straight to the heart of my '3dx experience'.

 

I'm 29, have a successful business, own house and decent family and friends. But ten years ago life was very different. I was without direction - well, spiralling downwards into a horrendous depression by the day maybe. It's hard to imagine a place so dark and full of despair unless you've personsally been there. I'd lived the bad life, created hell for others. There wasn't much I hadn't done. And when it got too much, as inevitably it did, I nearly paid the ultimate sacrifice. Read into that however you want.

 

The ripples lasted many years - they're still there sometimes - but gradually I got my life back on track. And then I joined 3dx, still searching for something that was missing from life and still haunted by the past.

 

In 3dx I've met all sorts of people. Amazing people who have understood *me*, people who have been there for me and people who have made me feel loved. Two of those in particular helped me, doing incredible things that helped me look forward, not back, sometimes putting up with me when really they shouldn't have. Sadly I'm no longer in contact with either, much to my regret, because I know that I'm now more confident, more balanced and less anxious than before. Sure, I still have my moments but I'm in control, not that dark place in my mind. As a result, I'm more able to sustain positive relationships and friendship in-game and maybe in life too.

 

To those that are dogged by the past or find themselves full of self-hate, I'd say this: acceptance of yourself is maybe the hardest love of all; but go forward knowing who you are and being grateful for that. You're blossoming with great things - you just need to find them so others can appreciate you for who you are. You can't change what you've done but you can learn from it and make your destiny the one you want.

 

As one author said: "Make peace with the mirror and watch your reflection change."

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Trigger warning: This reply contains my honest opinion, and is not sugar-coated.

 

 

 

 

 

I'd be really worried about the psyche` of a person who can be effected in REAL LIFE because of ANY game. Maybe you can modify certain skills you possess, learn some new ways of wording things, learn how to better express your thoughts, ect. But to actually CHANGE yourself for better or worse is unlikely, unless another underlying condition is present, and that condition is better treated by experts, not self-diagnosing or using a chat program to do it.

Seems like you picked an appropriate name...

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...

Have has anyone changed ...

....

 

id say it did "change" me in some ways, but that ill tell you in private john! all i can say related to "change(s)" generally is, that your not the same individual you were a year ago, a month ago, or a week ago - your always "growing". experinces dont stop! thats life and i mean, you live in a great, big, vast world that youve seen none percent of. even the inside of your own mind is endless! it goes on forever, inwardly, do you understand? the fact that youre alive is already amazing and just because the past maybe didnt always turn out like you wanted, doesnt mean your future cant be better then you ever imagined! and what i know is, that one can not recover 3 things in life: the 'WORD' after its said, the 'MOMENT' after its missed and the 'TIME' after its gone - so be careful and especially when you say 'YES' to others, make sure you are not saying 'NO' to yourself!

 

forgottn authors that inpired me and opsi, soz, i sort of drifted offtopic - anyways and on

 

some-days-i-wish-i-could-go-back-in-life

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I guess I rather change daily, in interaction and communication with other people I get new insights which make me change some point of view. I learn about things I haven't thought about before, this all makes me change every day.

Nevertheless I got some values (e.g. respect) I stick to, which I hopefully will never give up and which will be a base of an unchangeable core of me.

But hate? Not at all. Yes, it might happen that I catch myself acting against my own values. However that does not mean I start to hate myself but rather to recognize that, and reconfirm my values to me, in order to stick to them in the future.

If you hate yourself, how will you be able to love others? If you are not able to forgive yourself, how can you forgive others?

Every day you got the choice again to change the behaviour you dislike, so hating yourself seems rather to be a possibility to remain morally clean and keep on doing something that seems to be contrary to your own values.

Don't hate yourself, just change it.

 

Zokora

This game is for fun!

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the-devil-made-me-do-it.jpg?id=98044042

 

 ... generally is, that your not the same individual you were a year ago, a month ago, or a week ago - your always "growing".

+

I guess I rather change daily ...

 

WTF, Zokora - your a kind of Borgthing? Or maybe more of a kind like Spezies or Species 8472?! Now, after all, your diary, Adventureworld'n Land, and yesterday, your really starting to scare me off a little bit now too, Lol! Joking ofcourse, what else and very well written and Sis Tika didn't even dare, as she told me going to bed like me too after this post and maybe 2 songs - eventually; she didnt even dare refer, or relate to anything more as 'changes' above to avoid a novel and save lifetime! And nope, also no hate "with us" here at all and its excatly --> as you wrote, Ma'am!! Only thing i, or we would like to say is, once John is reminding me all of a sudden also again, is: Thank You SGD (SexgameDevil)  for "The Demon"!! :lol: B):rolleyes:  :o :wacko:  :ph34r: 

 

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I feel completely happy with my current life. I think it could only be better if I had picked a porn actress career earlier (unfortunately I never got the chance). Not that it was any real issue in the long road. I actually find having sex IRL easier than in here (at least when I used to play). The best part of having many fuckbuddies is that you don't need much talk to have a real quick fuck.

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 i think this is that in the game i am more outgoin and brash and centre-stage than in RL, never knew why

There are several studies out that explain why this happens. It has to do with being isolated in a your own private space at your keyboard. Same with sitting by yourself in a car and yelling at traffic. You just become very territorial and defensive about your small personal space. People have the tendency to be more outgoing in this environment and unfortunately in most cases it is a negative thing as they just flood the game with their dysfunction and drama unchecked unlike how they would be around other people in real life.

 

As far as the game "changing me"? If I ever start taking it that seriously it is time to quit.

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There are several studies out that explain why this happens. It has to do with being isolated in a your own private space at your keyboard. Same with sitting by yourself in a car and yelling at traffic. You just become very territorial and defensive about your small personal space. People have the tendency to be more outgoing in this environment and unfortunately in most cases it is a negative thing as they just flood the game with their dysfunction and drama unchecked unlike how they would be around other people in real life.

 

As far as the game "changing me"? If I ever start taking it that seriously it is time to quit.

 

I'm not the original poster but perhaps this above is why I answered earlier that I never felt changed by these games but they have tested me in who I am from time to time.

 

I think it can also have something to do with feeling freed up and anonymous enough to be an ass-hat without any face to face, real life consequence.  Generally I don't give a flying fig who's a jerk and who isn't. I just put them on ignore and move on. I'm here to relax and enjoy, not argue and stress. I do what I can to just stay away from those who love to stir it up.

 

Then again, I guess if they were just cut off from everyone they'd just not come back anyway... win/win for the rest of the members.

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