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The Diary of the Adventureworld


Zokora

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My view on 3DX

 

As it seems as if I have reached the limits of the possibilities of room building here – or at least I am too impatient to wait longer than 5 minutes to leave the room editor – There will be no additional locations being set up in the next time.

Thus, I will use the creative break to provide my point of view on 3dx to the community; hosting my rooms for 3 months now I have undergone some ups and downs here, not all of them being funny and some of them struck me deeply.

 

All this sex stuff

Even though this is a sex game (or maybe rather a building and dancing game with some sex options?) I am often quite astonished how few efforts some people put into finding a partner for sex. Besides all colds, here is a typical dialogue I encounter quite often (if there is an attempt to talk at all):

 

XXX: Hi, looking sexy, wanna have some fun?

Zokora: No, thank you

XXX: Why not?

 

Wow! Explain yourself! You are in a sex game but you do not want to have sex? Uhm, not right. I love sex, but I do not want to have sex with someone approaching me this way. Of course, if you ask me if I want to have fun, that makes you irresistible, and if I refuse, I am frigid.

 

But all joking apart, at that moment I am always not sure if I should laugh, get angry or really tell why not, even though this would become a longer answer. And even though a ‘No’ is just a ‘No’ and there is no need to argument about that, I will provide an answer to that here:

First of all, finding me on the game does not mean automatically that I am horny as hell and jump on the next person I see. For me this is as well a social platform, meeting my friends and chatting with them or hosting my room and sharing the music I love.

 

If I look besides the pure mechanics of sex (rubbing something at / into something) it is mainly the eroticism I am looking for, and this is something that develops in my mind based on some fantasies about what my partner and I am doing together; maybe 20% of that being covered by the existing poses. The rest is arising out of the dialogue with my partner, telling each other what we are doing and how we are feeling, like moving my lips slowly along my partner’s neck and covering it with soft kisses. Without that I do not need the other 20% of the poses as well, I could leave the game and completely use my fantasy. That means, that someone who wants to have sex with me should at least prove his communicative skills and his ability for being descriptive before trying to partner me.

In addition to that I have my preferences regarding sex, containing a longer foreplay, and foreplay as well means feeling the erotic tension arise within a chat, as well as having some time after the ‘action’ together. The best way to make sure that my partner wants the same, is to communicate. If you don’t want to communicate, this is fine for me, as long as you move ahead and try to find someone else. There is a lot of rooms providing that.

I am quite sensitive as well regarding some values like respect, which are important to me, that means any idea of insulting or degrading me is a no go. And no, you can’t fuck me, I am not your fuck object, there are people I have sex with, but these are people who treat me with respect.

 

And in the end, even though we pay a monthly subscription, that does not grant or give anyone the right to have sex with anyone here. And being flooded with cold partner and slow dance requests is not funny at all and rather annoying and shows a deep lack of respect in my eyes.

 

One of the weirdest things I have encountered during the time I hosted my room is a guy who came into my room, undressed and started to dance close to me. When I moved aside, he followed. Even the warning I gave him did not help, so he is one of the very few people on my ignore list.

I guess this is the result of the anonymity of the game, acting that way does not really have much consequences, but it shows the attitude and the value system of some people. So I try to keep a respectful distance from them.

 

Relationships and marriages

In my time being here I have seen a lot of relationships and marriages, a lot of them leading to very much drama, which made me think a lot about how this comes. Again I think it is the anonymity of the game causing a lot of the drama, leading to avatars disappearing without a trace or people with several avatars cheating on their partners. I do not know if they really intend to hurt their partner with that type of behaviour, at least they should know they do. For all those who are looking for a exclusive relationship or a marriage, from what I have observed I just can give the following recommendations:

  • An exclusive relationship or marriage can only work if you got as well some rl info about the other. That shows some sort of commitment and prevents you from finding one day the avi of your partner deleted or your partner not showing up any more
  • You should both agree on the ‘conditions’ of your relationship like having sex with others. Expectations which are not communicated are a direct way to drama, starting at that moment when your partner does not meet them

To be clear, this is just my opinion, feel free to have another one, and in my eyes most relationships and marriages break up due to one of those 2 points. Besides that of course relationships and marriages will face the same challenges as in RL.

 

Anonymity of the game

Besides the topics mentioned above, the anonymity of the game makes it an interesting place for some observations how people behave. Where is the difference between being anonymous and not anonymous? In our society people behaving in a way that does affect the society members in a negative way by outlawing, which touches one of our basic fears, to be alone. In a game where you are anonymous, you can easily undergo this by creating a new avi and start from the beginning. This has effects in 2 directions, on the one hand it shows, if people don’t do things because it is against their values or because they only fear the consequences, and the game proves that it is often the second case.

On the other hand, this raises some sort of persecution mania, in the game, declaring some avis to the impersonation of the evil; and if anyone behaves not in the way the people like, they are accused to be an alt of that evil avi.

This brings up the question if you already have observed that it is always the others who are evil, which brings up a perfect reason to fight them, you just fight the evil. George W. Bush did with the Iraq war, and Donald Trump does as well, in his eyes he just fights the evil. This is what we all seem to have in common with him, we are fast with our judge that the other one is to blame and is the evil and that we are innocent. Oh, we do the same as the other, but we have good reasons, the other one not. Insulting is bad, but if the other one insults us we have the right to insult him too, as he started, so we have a good reason.

The funny (or rather weird) thing is: this does not make us feel better, it just makes (hopefully) the other feel at least as bad as we feel, as that evil person needs to be punished. So we tear each other down and down in an endless spiral.

But how to feel better? What is the alternative? There is two things you can do:

  • Replace punishment by consequences. Punishment means to get the other feel bad, consequence means to get the other feel good. If someone insults you, a punishment would be to insult him as well, starting the downward spiral. A consequence might be to put him on your ignore list. This is good for you as that person is not able to insult you again
  • Forgiveness can work wonders. Do not believe that forgiveness is something you do for the other person, it is something you can do for yourself. It means you resign your claim for revenge, that does not mean you have to consider what the other has done for good. It helps you to drop that incident out of your mind and not carry it with you for years.

Call me unworldly, but this is the way I am on, and even if I do not success every time, the first step is that I forgive myself as well.

 

Song of the week

 

My song of the week is an older one of Elbow. I like the sound of this group and have been listening to their songs for years now. This song is called 'Red'. Enjoy :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMH1UXlM9OE

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Great post Zakora.

In particular the part about people accusing people of being an alt of someone evil, there seems to be a lot of that going on lately, both in the game and these forums.

I wonder what would happen if we all started doing that, we all have knowledge of someone who was someone else, and suspect others of people who were here before with a different avi.

If we all went around revealing this the game would be a mess.

Also I think at least some of the time, and maybe even most of the time the people being accused are not the person they are being accused of being.

Sometimes I think it has just been used as a weapon against someone that was crossed them, like ok you have pissed me off so I will make sure no wants anything to do with you by saying you are .......

People will always suspect and I do think it ok to talk to your very closest friend about it, someone you know you can trust not to pass it on or do anything you wouldn't want done.

But this type of friend is not that easy to find, make sure it is a very respectful friendship before you do confine in them with this kind of thing.

Publically accusing someone of being an alt in local, WC or these forums I feel is not only wrong, it is hurting the game.

 

Forgiveness is a word often thrown around and made to seem simpler than it is.

While I agree people need to be more forgiving I think we also need to acknowledge there are different levels of wrong doing where some can be forgiven and others not so easily or never forgiven.

Some wrong doings can be just forgiven while others may need an apology before forgiveness can be achieved and others may need time to see the person has made the effort to change their ways.

Some wrong doings can just be unforgiveable and there I think the people involved just need to forget, stay away from each other and move on.

 

On the other side of this are the people that have made mistakes and think they will never be forgiven, people will always remember what they had done and those people often will just keep doing wrong because of that.

To them I say that there are people that will always remember and never forgive or forget but there are also people that will forgive and forget almost straight away.

In between those people there are different levels of how long it will take and how much people will forgive.

But most importantly most will notice any efforts you make to change so you first need to make those efforts.

 

We all make mistakes, it is what you do about them that shows your character and your worth.

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Great post Zakora.

In particular the part about people accusing people of being an alt of someone evil, there seems to be a lot of that going on lately, both in the game and these forums.

I wonder what would happen if we all started doing that, we all have knowledge of someone who was someone else, and suspect others of people who were here before with a different avi.

If we all went around revealing this the game would be a mess.

Also I think at least some of the time, and maybe even most of the time the people being accused are not the person they are being accused of being.

Sometimes I think it has just been used as a weapon against someone that was crossed them, like ok you have pissed me off so I will make sure no wants anything to do with you by saying you are .......

People will always suspect and I do think it ok to talk to your very closest friend about it, someone you know you can trust not to pass it on or do anything you wouldn't want done.

But this type of friend is not that easy to find, make sure it is a very respectful friendship before you do confine in them with this kind of thing.

Publically accusing someone of being an alt in local, WC or these forums I feel is not only wrong, it is hurting the game.

 

Forgiveness is a word often thrown around and made to seem simpler than it is.

While I agree people need to be more forgiving I think we also need to acknowledge there are different levels of wrong doing where some can be forgiven and others not so easily or never forgiven.

Some wrong doings can be just forgiven while others may need an apology before forgiveness can be achieved and others may need time to see the person has made the effort to change their ways.

Some wrong doings can just be unforgiveable and there I think the people involved just need to forget, stay away from each other and move on.

 

On the other side of this are the people that have made mistakes and think they will never be forgiven, people will always remember what they had done and those people often will just keep doing wrong because of that.

To them I say that there are people that will always remember and never forgive or forget but there are also people that will forgive and forget almost straight away.

In between those people there are different levels of how long it will take and how much people will forgive.

But most importantly most will notice any efforts you make to change so you first need to make those efforts.

 

We all make mistakes, it is what you do about them that shows your character and your worth.

Thank you, Twiggy, for sharing your thoughts and you kind words.

 

Regarding the forgiveness I agree that it is often not easy to do so, I just wanted to point out that we all should keep in mind that we do not forgive in order to do the one a favour, who has hurt us, but to do ourselves a favour.

In the end it is ourselves who have to live our life carrying inside all those incidents we have not forgiven, like a crust around our hearts and our minds. What has been done, cannot be undone, but we can change the way how we handle it. By not forgiving someone we influence possibly our own lives more in a negative way than the life of the other one, and the question is just, if it is worth that, as it might stand between us and a lucky life.

 

Forgiveness does not mean to be friend with the other one, and it does not mean you consider what the other has done as good. It just means, that you make your peace with the incident, agree that it happened, and - and this is quite important as well - forgive yourself, that you let it happen.

 

Keeping that in mind it might make it easier sometimes to forgive, and you as well can forgive from the distance and keep the consequence to not seeing that person again.

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hmm just adding my 2¢ ...

 

I think the more immature players are (with immature meaning both new to the game and/or immature in rl), the more probable it is for them to be jerks like you describe, Zokora. So often have friends of mine refused to meet in public places because they simply were bombed with colds, slow dance requests and such.

 

IMHO, addressing the colds should be high on the TODO list for the devs, because this is something that really bothers regular, long term subscribers. Thinking about an easily accessible setting, allowing partnering and invitations only for friends, or something like this. And allowing friend requests only if you have some lines of chat before ... only wishful thinking, unfortunately, I'm afraid ...

 

For the rest, for immature communication, there is no "quick fix" of course. Whatever written in a profile (and in here, too), some will simply ignore it. The only (cold) comfort being that no one is alone with that ...

 

On marriages (and on drama in general) I will refrain to comment, not enough game related data on this :)

 

And on the anonymity aspect of the game ... I think that's a major aspect, or better, the major feature of the game. No matter how "social" an avi might get at a certain point of its "life", like in RL, you have no warranty on the accuracy of that avi or person (in RL). One of the game's natures is allowing people to be someone they cannot not be in RL (because of society conventions, family restrictions, personal issues or whatever). Putting the focus too much on one side (the social or the sex side) leaves out the other important one. And judging someone, even good in game friends, for suspecting or finding them playing as another avi seems odd to me, because then you really don't embrace the full nature of our little virtual world here.

 

PS.: how come those 5mins to save your room? Is that hardware or connectivity related?

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Still alive

 

Haven't been around in 3DX for a while, my busy RL and being a bit annoyed and bored from 3DX and the behavior of some People inside her just kept me from coming here. SO I mostly just logged in to collect my xGold- I was a bit overwhelmed by the lots of pm's I found when logging in. Thank you all my awesome friends who thought of me.

 

Based on some changes and Events in RL I won't be that frequent in 3DX as before, but having so many awesome friends here will make me be here from time to time just to meet you all and Chat with you.

 

So if you like, join me on monday evening starting from 8 pm at Adventureworld for a little Event:

http://3dxforum.com/index.php?/topic/5118-adventureworld-goes-psychedelic-mon-july-10th-8-pm-cet/

 

Hugs and Kisses

Zokora

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A lot of people have missed you, and I know a few ones beside me that were worried for you as well. But I'm really glad to see you well and back in 3dx, event if it's just now and then.

I really look forward to seeing you again on monday !

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Update in progress.......

 

Coming soon: Adventureworld II Beta :D

With the possibility of saving rooms now, I decided to rework Adventureworld with a more modular concept. This has the big advantage that you never know what you might find when you enter Adventureworld. But of course most of the existing Locations will still be there (I remember the disappointed reaction of some visitors when I opened AW without the moon bar recently)

So in the first step you will just find most Locations reworked, some are still missing, not sure if I will add them again.

Hope to see you there soon !!!

 

until then here is one of my favorite songs at the moment:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=brdn3MlmNVk

 

Kisses

Zokora

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Deus, dona mihi serenitatem accipere res quae non possum mutare, fortitudinem mutare res quae possum, alque sapientiam differentiam cognosce

 

Always good to keep this in mind. For a moment I was tempted to discuss with some people about what they are doing in the forum and in World Chat, ask them why they are doing what they do, why so much hate, insults, rudeness. In my opinion what is going on in the forum is getting out of control at the moment and I kindly ask all people to sit back for a moment and rethink that all, and if it wouldn’t be time to stop it.

 

And yes, it is always the others who are to be blamed and who should stop, but it is you who is impacted by this all, but nevertheless in this state there will no one go out of that fight as a winner, it is just a spiral going down leading to more and more ridiculous accusations and worse feelings for all who participate.

Is this the reason why you joined a forum of a sex game? To fight some people with other opinions? OK, I already hear again that is the other to blame as he/she said/did something. If you want to continue this might be a wonderful excuse for yourself, but still it is you who is influenced more by all your hate and bad feelings than the other.

 

If you like to continue, I can’t and I don’t want to hinder you, I just try to show up some alternatives:

 

  • Forgiveness instead of revenge
  • Responsibility instead of guilt
  • Love instead of fear

 

If you like to have some inspiring communication instead of rudeness and hate, the first thing to do is to stop devaluating the contributions of other people and listen to them to maybe get new points of view on things. If you are convinced you are right anyway, you can just save your words as this will get people into refusal, and justifiably so, as except of what you can measure or film/photograph, there is no right or wrong, only different interpretations.

 

The same btw with good and evil. Who claims to be the moral instance to give an absolute and universal definition of what is good or evil (only if you claim to be god)

I am just wondering where this all is heading to and got the impression that it has gone beyond a point of no return, but I hope I err with that.

 

And anyway I don’t care

  • How may alts someone has got
  • Which gender someone has in RL
  • What someone is doing in RL
  • What people tell about others

 

But I care

  • If someone insults others
  • If someone shows a lack of respect
  • If someone devaluates others or what others tell

 

Kisses

Zokora

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Adventureworld Anniversary

 

„and the best thing that you can do is take whatever comes to you as time flies “ (Porcupine Tree: Time flies)

 

Adventureworld celebrates its first anniversary, so I think it is time for me to have a look back on the past year and all the events.

 

First of all, I am thankful for all the awesome people I met and wonderful friends I found, they are too numerous to list them all, but I know they all know how much they mean to me. There are some that campaigned me from the beginning and even before that (You know I mean you, Steph). But I could cite my friends list here. Maybe I rather tell you all in game when I see you.  And even though I am not that frequent in 3DX anymore as I was before and haven’t met some of you for a longer time, you are still in my heart and in my mind. Besides that, I am happy that Adventureworld is still attracting people to come in and discover my little island and the different locations and to be in communication.

 

In addition, I learned a lot about myself and my sexuality. For me, sex is as well a form of communication and interaction with other people. Communication, respect and an attitude of love (maybe not in the sense most people talk about love but rather as a context) are therefore prerequisites for me for having sex with someone. I just read an article about a former prostitute who told that a lot of men ejaculate and think this is an orgasm, reducing themselves to their dick and some mechanics on it, like a need that has to be fulfilled. I think there is much more to it and I had some amazing moments here with amazing people, proving that there can be much more behind. But this I just my humble opinion, making me quite picky in this game. The poses are nice eye-candy, but for me good sex consists of more. But I admit I am here still as well for the sex…

So far for the sex aspect, another aspect you might have recognized is the possibility to live my creativity with room building. When I started Adventureworld, I had no idea about the outcome, just experimenting with the objects. And Adventureworld was not the first trial, but I still like it after one year, upgraded it to 2.0 with some design changes, and I will rebuild it when the next update is out, happy to be able to reduce the lag and make AW accessible as well to people with computers with lower performance.

 

The third thing that keeps me being in Adventureworld is the fact that I rediscovered my love for music (Thanks to SayaX and Mulan). Collecting and sorting songs into playlists, creating theme evenings, finding new songs that inspire others, getting requests that inspire me, music just touches my soul (Thanks to my best 2 listeners, Esther and Tika)

 

And there have been some more things I have seen in this time, some things just making me wonder…

 

…like the room with the title ‘Sex hospital (no chat, Colds ok)’. Silent roleplaying? Maybe everyone in his / her own fantasy, but why use a mmorpg sex game for that, you can do the same alone, just my humble opinion

 

…like the DJ wars. Yes, I know there is a lot of people calling themselves DJ, making me wonder why this game attracts so many DJs who might have more fun DJing in RL than here. Nevertheless, all those accusations and allegations about who is really a DJ, who is a good or a bad DJ seemed a bit useless to me. I would never call myself a DJ, I just love to stream the music I like in my room, and if I attend a musical event, it is the music and the people who are there, and not the question how perfect the transition is or if the DJ is mixing live, that makes me like it or not. But again, only my opinion and I agree that different people have different opinions on that.

 

…like the private war of some guys in WC and in the forum, spending much time and energy to bypass several bans. But even though that was annoying I am glad we had to bear them only for some moments. Just imagine, they have to bear themselves their whole lifetime.

 

…like all the insults and rudeness in the forum and in the live chat. For what do people insult or devalue others? The culture of discussion seems to get lost more and more, before people have to be concerned with divergent opinions, the rather start to devalue them. Sometimes I wonder if people fear other opinions or that they might have been erring. Other opinions are a huge gift, as they give you the chance for further development. And most arguments are not about the fact but about the interpretation of them. So, who wants to be god and provide the ultimate interpretation everybody should follow?

 

…like Pandora and the ‘alt-allegation’. It seems to become a new kind of sport inside 3dx to accuse somebody to be an alt of someone else. One of the biggest fears here seems to be the idea that someone might cheat on someone, using an alt for that. I am not using Pandora and I won’t use it, as it rather seems to make things worse than better.

Sometimes I think it could be all so easy, this is a game for fun, so why not just have fun? The only answer that sounds logical to me is that some people don’t want to have fun.

 

At the end I want to thank all those people who have touched my soul and who I consider as a gift. I know there might me some alts among them, but I do not care. Thank you for your being and the pleasure to get to know you!!!

Ambergeddon, AngelinaFR, Bellca, Chaostika, Daim, DavidRyan, DJStarrFyre, EstherFr, EvilElf, Fabry, Foken, Geneavas, Gubi, JasonWilde, JoanaSlut, Joustyn, JulieFR, Jullyinfema, Kaliea, Karena, Kyuss, LadyLayla, Loona, Lylly, Malakae, Mejwin, MichaelD, MissLoretta, MistressSheila, Mulan, Nicole, Nutaki, Olesya, Rosegarden, Selan, Solliez, Sonata, StephanieCD, Thana, xormus, XYunaX

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