Does Player Gender Matter?

[EdwardK]

Hey,

I'm new to the game, and I recently ran into an interesting situation where I was asked if I was actually the same gender as my avatar. 

I want to be sensitive to the game's etiquette, so I figured I'd ask on here; is it considered important to specify your IRL gender in your character's profile or something? I didn't even think about it, personally; the gender of the person at the other computer has nothing to do with the fantasy of the game and what I'm seeing, so I honestly don't care at all, but it seems some people do. If I make a character opposite my own gender, should I be making that clear to people?

[Ashbash]

You are not forced to write your RL gender on your profile, but many do respect it if you do.

[Euk]

Hey,

 

I'm new to the game, and I recently ran into an interesting situation where I was asked if I was actually the same gender as my avatar. 

 

I want to be sensitive to the game's etiquette, so I figured I'd ask on here; is it considered important to specify your IRL gender in your character's profile or something? I didn't even think about it, personally; the gender of the person at the other computer has nothing to do with the fantasy of the game and what I'm seeing, so I honestly don't care at all, but it seems some people do. If I make a character opposite my own gender, should I be making that clear to people?

 

Even when you do put your "true gender" or that you want no part of any kind of real life interaction in your profile, expect to be grilled on your real life details you probably won't feel comfortable giving out because certain people simply will not respect your privacy. what only matters is how you want to play and what you want to share with people you want to play with. There are plenty of people to play with who won't demand you prove who you are and ruin fantasy play.

[Playme]

Hello and welcome EdwardK. 

 

In game etiquette is one of those evolving doors.  Its the standard "Golden Rule" opinion.  And I will give myself as an example.  I am female, but in game - I play both sexes and enjoy both genders.  On my male avatar (avi)  I do state in my profile that I am female controlled.  It brings more questions and judgments then friendship, and certain clicks ( or circles ) won't accept you.  But for me, I rather be upfront from the start then allow someone who becomes romantically inclined or feelings of trust to be potentially hurt.

 

But this is a world wide online social experiment,  you will meet people of all sorts, who are also on their own stages of sexual journeys, even if its only virtual.   Some are looking for game immersion and want nothing of real life to come into it, some are looking for that someone special to perhaps turn into a real relationship and some are exploring sexual fantasies and once naughty secrets to life.  Or there like me who's just a sex pervert who had a hot time hitting and having my way with a real life bi male friend and shockingly enough, it deepened our real friendship  

 

My advice:  Read profiles and be true to yourself.   Good Luck. 

[simon]

It depends on what you are looking for in here.

If a good role play is what you are looking for, of curse the gendre does not matter and for sure you can have lot of fun in here.

But if you play as the real yourslef and looking for something serius you better have a call asap and be sure about the gendre.

 

Honestly i really dont mind about the gendre behinde the monitor, is the soul what matter and as long as people stay in character all is fine. Also i roleplay as girl but in my female avi profile you can read that is a male opereted avi, but belive me, around here is full of ppl try to make you belive they are something that they are not.

 

Sorry for my crap eng, is not my first language.

[Guest Twiggy]

I will just do what these guys are doing

 

[Guest Skar]

I think it also important to mention that some people might hold some pretty strong opinion about this and sadly it often come to this : 

 

 

There all kind of people that come to the game for a varied set of reasons. There no one size fit all. My rule of thumb is to the honest as much as it possible with players you want to develop a friend or more. It is me, I am not about to chastised players if they don't share my views. 

[6DarkRaven9]

I know what it's like to deal with being harassed for every little bit of information of me so the person on the other end can 'make sure I'm legit'. At first I just tried comforting their concern and, if allowed, posted photos of me on my profile, but then they would flip thinking 'you just Googled those!' So I stopped bothering, blocked/reported those who persist, and enjoy myself by being me. If you are that insecure you shouldn't be online anyways, you got serious problems and need to get help before getting into the virtual world. I had people even threaten to commit suicide! Things can get ugly, no matter the community, no matter the game there's always those types.  Just be yourself or roleplay, its up to the users to accept it or to move on and enjoy yourself.

[Briana]

who care's if you don't care? that all depend what bring you here...for roleplay reason or to meet real life love? up to you to find your way

[Guest beccie]

Welcome to the community.

 

You have to decide for yourself whether it matters to you, but equally be mindful of others' feelings.

 

3dx may be a fascinating social experience, experiment even.., but the bottom line is that behind the avis lie real people with real feelings and it simply isn't possible to always disconnect those feelings. Some ppl can, others can't. But that's the nature of the game.

[chaostika]

welcome edward and welcome to

 

 

 

 

usuallly not very oftern "a popcorn" poster but repeating oneself is somehow gettn tiring
and once writn so often elsewhere already n im really tired and just about to jump into my wohnlandschaft

 

so, wishes ya a all a nice weekend, saves lifetime dot com and incase
some guyz here really need some good damn group popcorn just

 

 

 

or here

 

 

endless-gender_spoiler.exe

 

Remember, you don't ever know, who you may ever meet in here and just because a person may not be dressed up at all that fancy or have a other gender than u expect, don't mean they're not an important person. You just don't ever know, who you're gonna meet in 3DX and sometimes in life and so that's why i look at everybody and try to treat all people as equal. Can't just judge. I try to treat everybody with respect. Every man, every woman, whatever your religion, skincolour or gender may be, or how you feel like best on your inside of yourself, or on the outside of your char! I really couldn't care less what or who you are and even if you were an alien with three titts and four arms, cause it's you, the person behind the keyboard that counts and not some freakn, buggy pixels! Text has no gender, but, and just like my lill sis Chaostika always says: IF its RP and nobody of the ppl involved care anyway...who cares, but if a other person does mind n matter and if it then comes to sex, love and real friendships, you should always know how to pronounce and write words like honesty, chicos!

 

 

 

for ( ; ; ) // runs till next powerfail

{

...

}

 

 

 

[Guest Majestik]

I really think you should be tellimg the truth , i mean if your a male why act out to be a female and not tell anyone ? Dont lie to others and earn your respect

[Guest Twiggy]

Hey EdwardK,
Just to let you know a little of what is going on and why there is some comments like yet another one of these threads being posted.
This is a topic that constantly comes up in these forums, usually ends up getting combined with other threads that have been going for a while or gets to serious and removed.

There are those of us that feel something can be done to lesson the impact it has on the game and those that feel nothing should be done.
What you experienced seems to happen a lot and I can see how people feel it is an invasion of privacy.
I have never asked anyone if they are the same gender as their avi let alone ask them for for proof but have been asked a couple of times if I was actually a girl behind the keyboard.
To me it felt more like an insult than an invasion of privacy, left me thinking things like am I sounding butch or something.

The other side of it is there are people that abuse what the game offers and take advantage of people.
They deliberately mislead and deceive people about their gender when it has been made clear to them that it matters to the person they are with.
It is my opinion that these are the people that are causing all the problems, if they weren't there I doubt that many would bother about asking about gender.

Some of us have tried to offer suggestions on things that may help to make it not so easy for these people to be able to do this.
When you do though, it is met with a lot of resistance, you get insulted and called names like sexist, bigot and sanctimonious.
It's funny, the people that argue against anything being done will argue that it is an invasion of privacy, but will then complain about the invasion of privacy that constantly happens in the game.
Anyway it looks like nothing will ever be done about it as the majority seem to want things left the way they are.

As you are new I am interested in a couple of things though.
When you created your avi, did you think of making an avi different to your real life gender?
Did you think about how people may have made an avi different to their own gender?

[xMaceyx]

I have been here for nearly two years and have played both genders. To me this is a fantasy game to do what I would not in real life. I have a small friend list, the people who are closest to me, who I also interact with away from this game are aware of my real gender, whether that is male or female. I also give a small hint on my profile. As to making it know to everyone else, I don't believe I need too and why would I want to, as is an example the other night of a few players  in the NC putting anyone who plays opposite to their gender down and basically referring to them as scum of the earth. Just so you are aware Twiggy it was one of your friends.

I do not just put everyone in the same category just because of a few bad eggs, I know of some of the nicest most genuine people on here playing the opposite to their real gender. Basically I believe if you are getting close to somebody with feelings involved they have a right to know, otherwise this is a fantasy game till that point.

[Guest Twiggy]

Macey where have I said that everyone has to let everyone know their real life gender, I have never said that.

What I proposed was to have a box to be checked in our profiles to say if we cared about the real life gender of people we have sex with and a rule to say, it is against the rules of the game to have sexual relations with anyone who has that box checked when you are playing the opposite sex.

That does not mean you have to show everyone your real life sex and does not take away from your privacy, it just makes it so people have to respect the choice of other players when they have shown it by checking the box.

It would also make it so people who are playing the opposite sex will know who not to go for and would likely make a difference to the amount of times people are asked if they are the same sex as their avi.

 

As for you saying what one of my friends did, I doubt that you would know who my friends actually are and even if it did turn out to be one of my friends it was not my doing.

I never ran around in the game doing that and I do also have friends that do play the opposite sex to their real life gender, I honestly don't care that people do that, as long as they do not take advantage of people and respect other peoples wishes.

If that is what they want out of the game that is fine, it is the ones that feel because it is just a game and gives them the right to not respect what others want from their game that I am against.

If someone wants it so when they have sex in the game that they can be at least fairly certain of the sex of the player behind the keyboard then that is their right, and they have just as much right as the ones who want to play as the opposite sex.

Their are people that are saying that because it is just a game we have no right to expect that and that is what I am against.

[pashion]

andddddddd...........

 

this will just turn into that other topic that was closed... profile verification was it??? same people same debate same words over and over....

 

I believe if you are heading into a serious relationship or friendship just like macey said you have a rite to know the truth and there are ways of verifying that truth outside of game.. If you dont and you get hurt.. whos fault is that?? your own.

 

who cares, be who you want to be, its entirely up to you who you want to play as, either yourself, a cat, a chicken, a cardboard box or someone completely different that's what you are paying for isn't it???

 

 

 

peace out!!

[xMaceyx]

I am not going to go into a debate about what you have and have not stated in the past, plus I am well aware of who some of your friends are. But I am getting quite bored of reading this same stuff over and over in one thread to another as it always ends the same way. Ultimately its the Devs that make the decisions and I don't see them rushing to change anything.

[Guest Twiggy]

Well Macey if that is what you thought why come in and say what you did, you referred to me and made implications suggesting what I thought.

You are the one that started this thread into a debate not me.

 

Pashion the other thread was "Does anyone play as themselves" and it is still open.

[pashion]

 

 

Pashion the other thread was "Does anyone play as themselves" and it is still open.

 

no i believe there was another one called in game profile verification that the op requested to be closed due to the same argument going on and on and on plus the other 500000 topics regarding the same debate that you commented in. But yes there is that also that has the same debate where this is headed..

[Guest Twiggy]

Well I won't be taking it there, I have had enough of it myself.

It is why my 1st comment in here was to bury my head in the sand, which still got a bad response anyway.

There was a thread called profile verification or something like that, but i don't think i even commented in that one.

The other one has a heap of threads that had been moved into it.

[Chilles]

Please safe the Peace

Everyone have a different sense of justice about this topic and we should respect all opinions.

I think everyone should play 3DXChat how he want all other isn't matter. Safe your privacy and don't show to many private informations. If you want to share your private informations, please be sure about the kind of info you want to show.

No one need to handle this Game like a social Network, like Facebook or similar...
Don't forget, it's still a game

[jenie]

Please safe the Peace

 

Everyone have a different sense of justice about this topic and we should respect all opinions.

 

I think everyone should play 3DXChat how he want all other isn't matter. Safe your privacy and don't show to many private informations. If you want to share your private informations, please be sure about the kind of info you want to show.

 

No one need to handle this Game like a social Network, like Facebook or similar...

Don't forget, it's still a game

[Guest jowie]

You are not forced to write your RL gender on your profile, but many do respect it if you do.

 

Do They ?

do They Really ?

 

greets

 

jowie

[Ashbash]

Do They ?do They Really ? greets jowie

Most people do, from what I have seen, but I don't know everyone.

 

Greets,

[Sage Stoner]

Most people do, from what I have seen, but I don't know everyone.

 

OK, but what does that mean? "Most people respect it if you write your real life gender in your profile." 

 

And I ask this sincerely. I am not trying to pick on you. But there are three words in this sentence that I am willing to bet are easily misunderstood by many people. Those three words are "most (or many, which is what you originally said)," "gender," and last but not least "respect."

 

Anyway, I am not going to nitpick at what you said. I'm just pointing out that people will tend to interpret what you wrote to suit their own point of view.

 

But there is one thing I would like to clarify. Since this topic is about sexual identity, we should all be careful not to confuse "sex" with "gender." Sex is the shape of your genitals: Are you biologically a male or a female? Gender is how you identify yourself: Do you consider yourself to be man or a woman.

 

So, I think what you meant was "if you write your real life sex in your profile." Isn't that right?

 

I mean, in my opinion, this whole issue basically boils down to the fact that some people are unable to separate sex and gender, and therefore they only want to interact with players whose real life sex and gender identity match the sex and gender identity of their avatars. 

 

Oh, and if you are that kind of person, by the way, you really ought to say so in your profile. Many people will respect you if you do.