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Wanderings of a Wanderer Girl


Wander Girl

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So hi, I'm Kira. I play three different characters/avatars. The one I will reveal here is Wanderergirl, for now. 

I'm a writer and lover of RP and sex >:)

This Diary will be full of my personal and subjective opinions about my experiences in 3DX Chat.

So, I'm mainly heterosexual. (Mainly? What does that mean? ...Well don't worry about it right now >_>)

There's an increasing social trend among heterosexual men in the 3DXchat community. It's making it hard to find partners I mesh well with sexually.

My recent difficulty is finding partners who like what I like and understand what I mean when I say what I like. I'm not super complicated, and I don't have many unconventional fetishes. I'm fairly close to vanilla, actually. But I have specific ways I like to have sex, and I assumed there would be a lot of men who would like the ways I like. Nope! At least not lately. And this may be due to me being unconventional in a minor, but odd way, I think.

I get really bored with receiving oral. IRL, it feels good, don't get me wrong. But seeing my avatar get it and having it described to me by my partners does little to nothing for me. It's the kind of thing that just feels good IRL, but isn't fun to watch in a simulation. And maybe. oddly so, I don't find it pleasing described in writing either.

So, I think to myself, "this won't be a problem, men probably would love to skip giving oral if they know a woman doesn't care for it". It should be a boon, I'd assume.

But it's not. Trying to get this across to men either disappoints and/or confuses most of them.

Every man who gives me oral thinks they are different from other men. When I ask them why they do it, they all have said "because other men don't." But IME, this just isn't true. I have met very very few men who won't try to give me oral even when I hint that I don't want it. And usually, it is one of the first things they do, and they won't give it up until I have an orgasm from it. Though this usually ends with me finding an excuse to leave or having a long discussion with them to try and make them understand that I don't want to watch them describe licking a pussy raw!

How am I supposed to have an orgasm, or even want to write having one (>_>), when I'm not really enjoying the interaction. Having sex and watching it/reading it are different things. But even IRL, I don't crave oral too often. I tend to get turned on and wet very easily, so I will just mount my lover's cock and go at it!

But maybe I'm an odd woman for being like that, I guess? I try to do that in 3DXchat and men act like I am breaking a sacred convention or depriving myself... And I am left with a few theories because of their reactions.

1: It's about ego. Most men I meet may want a woman to orgasm first to make themselves feel in control and dominant and competent.

2: Or It's possible most men who don't "religiously" practice the oral-first method are "weeded out" of the community due to frequent rejection.

3: Most men might actually -enjoy- giving oral. It turns them on even more than vaginal sex does.

Theory 3 is the one I'd find hardest to believe, but what most men would answer (based on my experience) if asked due to the negative implications that would come with honestly admitting to theory 1 or 2.

Am I being too 'sciencey' about the whole thing? Maybe. But I'd love to figure this out. If I can find the right words to put in my profile to find men who would love a woman who doesn't usually want or need them to suck on her pussy for an hour (YES they will do this for an hour if I don't orgasm for them), it would help me find enjoyable partners much more easily.

What's the big deal, right? Any women who have bothered to read this far are probably wondering if this is a joke. Am I making a funny?

An hour of descriptive pussy-licking probably sounds incredible. But for me, I just get so bored. I can only describe my limited reactions to it so many times before it gets tedious.

Now, why I am like this when most other women don't seem to be is a whole other set of theories...

Maybe, deep down, I love being in control and need that control to enjoy sex? Maybe most men don't describe oral in a way I'd enjoy it? Maybe I'm a little tired of the large amount of Doms always trying to control when and how I orgasm?

Because it's not just about the oral. I like to have sex in a way where I get to be unrestrained. I want to participate, I want to interact, I want to describe doing things to my partner, I want to please them and have my actions make my partner moan. I have made a lot of partners cum by riding their cock until they couldn't hold it any longer... And I love that.

...... Maybe it -is- about control... Maybe I'm sort of a dom myself? And most men, I find, don't like not being in control.

So what's the point of this? I know there's guys out there who would be into what I'm into. I met them before... Just not any lately. And this could be because I need to get better at communication and figuring out how to best articulate what I want so I can put it in my profile.

Maybe I need to figure myself out a little more too.

So, while a lot of this entry probably seemed like complaining, I will end it with a positive message. I'm not discouraged.

I still meet great people, and it's nice to have guys attracted to me (^_^), so my wanderings continue.

Edited by Wander Girl
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Hey WG! Very interesting subject, one that I haven't really thought about. Mainly because I'm a girl with an asterisk, so I can't say I've had any guys on here lick my pussy, on account of its non-existence.

 

I have been on the giving end of this exchange a few times, but I don't think I've insisted I give oral until she comes. Usually it's her going "pleasure me until I cum" or some variant thereof. When I virtua-lick I usually go for a bit before going "you're driving me wild, I wanna fuck you." Maybe that speaks of me being impatient, but i like to think I have a good read on the situation and can tell when its time to shift positions.

 

Now, for some guys it's definitely an ego thing. Being a femboy/sissy I've been on the receiving end of many an interaction, and they just will. Not. Come. until I've cum first. They want me exhausted from pleasure and begging for them to reciprocate. It's not hard to imagine it boosts their confidence. Or maybe it's a gentleman's code thing. 

 

Anyway, I'm starting to ramble so I'll stop here. Looking forward to your next entry!

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On 12/23/2020 at 4:02 AM, Nektar said:

Hey WG! Very interesting subject, one that I haven't really thought about...

Thank you so much for reading and responding. I actually did a shameful thing and edited out everything before I saw your post, leaving your post without context. I was embarrassed. I thought maybe I shouldn't have posted and that no one would be interested in my long, odd topic. But after reading your post, I fixed that. I added my entry back in and you've given me the courage to continue making more posts.

I will say that recently I've had better luck, finding a guy who was a lot of fun. And while we had a lot of foreplay, he was willing to let me prove to him that we could have great mutual pleasure without him needing to give me oral. It just becomes such a "tradition". So many sexual encounters have been like a predetermined plan, and the oral becomes step 2 in the plan for most men I've met. Then I have to fight it or write out the same reactions I make every time...

Anyways, enough from me about that. Though I welcome anyone who wants to respond to it even after this post.

 

The next entry is about Escorts in 3DXchat! Escorts, sex workers, all that jazz.

Since I like RP (Role Play), I have been tempted on many occasions to be an escort for a bit on one of my avatars. I've written up escort profiles several times, but before I commit, I often clear them and return to just another THOT profile 😛

My mind always talks me out of it.

I think of the benefits like, skipping the awkward small-talk most guys try and most aren't very good at. I've met a lot of charismatic men, but most aren't, and it's not a skill everyone can have. But I've found charismatic doesn't mean I'll enjoy my time with them any more than men who aren't. Mostly I just want talk first to make sure any men interested have read my profile and are on the same page as me. 

I get so many "Hi" "How are you?" "How's it going?" "How's your night?" "How was your New Years?" "Wanna fuck?"

It's easy to dismiss guys like this as likely being dull lovers and skipping them... But many times I gave them a shot, and many proved to be just as fun as a guy that can hold an interesting convo for hours.

So, being an Escort might skip the initial awkwardness and let guys know I'm ready for sex -now-. TBH, I don't usually get on this game with no intention to have sex. If I'm on, I'm building my room or looking for sexy times. Long convos with charismatic people can be fun, very much so, but I don't often get on the game -seeking- that. 

In my escort profiles that never saw the light of day, I made up fun ideas, different options and explained what kind of lover I am.

But in the end, I keep thinking things like "What if they want something super weird? What if my fun ideas and options are seen as silly and a turn off? What if this just causes more of the sex sessions that I don't like?" And so I wipe the work and go back to just a girl looking for fun.

Also, the gift system is an issue. I'm not looking to have a long list of gifts given solely for the purpose of "payment" for sex. But there's no other currency in the game. And if I don't charge anything, am I really an escort? Or am I a girl laying out limitations for sex sessions at that point?

"You have to RP and pretend you have X amount of money and then we can do this, this or that."

But I do love the idea of making up various "services" that guys can choose from. Maybe because it would show me what guys are interested in, but it also shows what I'm willing to do instead of leaving men guessing.

I guess I could just offer "services" for free. But that would be weird, right? Some guy reads my profile and I have a list of free services. LOL.

"Want a massage? Want me to ride your cock? Hire me! My price is NOTHING."

But, jokes aside, usually there is a price. If I'm not charging gifts then I'm charging a social puzzle.

What I mean by that is I wait for guys to PM me, and I talk with them until I get a feel for what they might be like as a sex partner. And sometimes it's a matter of who says the right words first.

I have standards, but those standards are -usually- based on a question: "will they like what I like?" (My standards are higher and based on personality for more long-term stuff, but that's a separate topic.)

I assume most Escorts like a very broad range of things... So, if my preferences are more narrow, doesn't that mean I shouldn't be an Escort? 

 

BTW, here's my avatar, Wanderergirl. I'll try to remember to add more pictures in future posts.

Zdx97mP.png

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Hey Wanderer!  First, thank you for sharing your thoughts. Second, keep sharing.  I find all diaries here interesting in their own way, and take away a broader understanding of the wonderful people I get to run across here.  Lastly, keep learning.  My time here has still been relatively short, but I have learned volumes.  Mainly about myself.  What makes me tick, what brings me satisfaction.  How others like me and my approach, and even those things that are not so great.  

Looking forward to your future posts!

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Interesting read here. 
I do have a comment on your first topic, the one about guys giving Oral. 
In my experience, some players when it comes to sex. Tend to follow what I call a ‘Porn Checklist’ 

Meaning they try to copy the sequence of events they see in their favorite porn, because they think that’s how it’s ‘supposed’ to go. 
 

If you break that sequence, some get confused. 
 

Last thing to add, you ain’t alone on the lack of interest in receiving Oral. 
I’m kinda the same, I love giving head. 
But getting my pussy licked or eaten out? Nah... Pass. 

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Your thinking is a bit flawed here....especially for an escort....

It is the duty of EVERY escort to make her client THINK that they are in control, dominant, and competent (with few exceptions).
You are being paid to male them feel they are the greatest lovers on the planet. You have to FAKE loving oral ...IT"S YOUR JOB!
Of course we all know better....WE are the ones really in control....and escorts in REAL LIFE rarely if
ever have an orgasm with a client....99% are fake orgasms.... they have to be that way....or they will go out of business.
Most REAL women are not escorts though and getting oral sex from men is usually their favorite sex act(sure beats anal...lol)
so you really can't blame the men here that try to do this with most of the girls on 3dx ...who probably enjoy it in RL I'm sure..
The mistake they are making is wasting it on escorts...who are here basically to get their clients
rocks off as fast as they can and move on to the next client...Just my opinion.

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