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3DXChat Marriage: RP or More?


JackPine

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I have met many in game that are married.  Even more as I browse profiles in a crowded room. I joined the game to be free to experience and live out my fantasies in the company of like-minded adults.  At first, I did find it a bit surprising to see so many 'partnered up'.  Having been here awhile I have grown in appreciation for those that have that special someone.  For those of you that are married in game (or have been), has it enriched your time here as a facet of your Role Playing experience?  Does it go way beyond the in game experience itself? Has it impacted relationships with others you already know, or had an impact on meeting others?

For those of you not married, does that come into the equation when you are meeting new people?

I am interested in learning more, and hearing from you. 🙂

 

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My Marriage to Cicely is a confirmation of the bond of friendship. 
We did have a large Wedding event and everything but beyond that it is not really like a traditional ‘marriage’

As for having her name in my profile impacting my interactions with others?

Maybe?

But then again, anyone talking to me is rare anyhow. 
I’m to ‘intimidating’ or so people keep saying. 

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11 minutes ago, Derai said:

My Marriage to Cicely is a confirmation of the bond of friendship. 
We did have a large Wedding event and everything but beyond that it is not really like a traditional ‘marriage’

As for having her name in my profile impacting my interactions with others?

Maybe?

But then again, anyone talking to me is rare anyhow. 
I’m to ‘intimidating’ or so people keep saying. 

First, thanks for your input.  I always value your thoughts.

Second, may your bond with Cicely always be strong, Dee.  Having the privilege to get to know you these past six months, I hold her in high esteem.  She has in you quite the treasure.

Lastly, I find talking to you always refreshing, invigorating, mind opening. People 'intimidated', for whatever reason, are seriously missing out.

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I'm of the not-married crowd. While I am very fond of and have come to care for a few people on here I don't think I could ever take the step to marry any particular one of them. For me, it's mainly for two reasons.

First off, I like to roam around, sample new experiences, etc. While from my own observations very few marriages on here are exclusive, I kind of feel like getting married to someone sends out those signals, and I don't want someone checking out my profile to think that I'm not available.

Second, and more important: To me, when you marry someone on here, it's telling that person that you'll be there for them. Given my RL work schedule, commitments etc, I find that I don't have as much time to be logged on as I'd like. I can sometimes go a stretch of days without having a chance to log on or talk to people I know on here, and if I were to be married to someone, I simply would not be able to give that person the companionship they'd desire.

And so, I keep living in sin on here, and wish all ye married couples my best ❤️

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  • 1 month later...

An update.

Since I floated this topic and didn't receive a lot of feedback, I decided to do my own research.

I met a woman in one of the rooms.  She likes to play as a dancer and escort.  Beautiful, articulate, exotic, and just a whole lot of fun being around.  We enjoyed each others company immensely, but in a 'Pretty Woman' style of roleplay.  When she indicated an interest in a different style, with an open marriage, I agreed.  We are in agreement that due to our time differences, and 3DX being a place to be free to explore one's fantasies in their own way, an exclusive relationship is not our style.  For those that can and want to, go for it!

To date this is what I am discovering:

  • The Proposal and the I Do:  I must say if you ever decide to try the marriage thing, be ready to take pictures.  This part is way cool!  The whole on one knee, the light and confetti falling from heavens when your partner says yes, is very well done.
  • Our Relationship:  Since the day, we actually have not been together much due to time differences.  The time together though has been positive, fun, and satisfying!  Outside that time, she and I have not been alone or devoid of fun.
  •  Our Profiles:  We have both indicated in our profiles that we are together, but not exclusive.  Although spelled out clearly, it does seem not everyone I meet here is as voracious of a profile reader as I am, but hasn't been an issue as far as I can tell.
  • Interactions With Others:  By and large this has been positive. Most get it, since this is 3DX.  It just takes communication.
  • Drama:  Only one possible incident so far, and the jury is still out.  There is a club that is open just a couple times a week.  Its at a time that my bride half a world away is still asleep.  The hosts, the dancers, the patrons, I just have so much fun with.  All of them I adore.  Yesterday, one of the dancer's posted an image to the club's discord server, of her and my wife stripping on a stage at some other club, also showing my wife's profile.  She mentioned to look closely who she is married to (me) and this should be a conversation starter at the next club opening.  I did see my wife earlier today and not bring it up.  That was her time to do what she wants with whoever she wants.  When we are together it is only about us.  Maybe my dancer friend is just needling me, but we will find out.

My research is ongoing! 

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The past 24 hours have been eye opening to me, regarding this topic. 

Last night found me room hopping to check out all these awesome rooms being created.  Along the way, a woman I haven't met initiated a hello in Local.  She poofed before I could respond.  Nice feature to click a name in the chat window to get to their profile.  Her profile was well written and could tell she could be a fun person to hang out with, so I messaged her back.  We agreed to meet at Sin, and we did.  A lovely person, and I thanked her for saying hello.  She said she did because she found my profile interesting as well, but she was reluctant to hang out with a married guy, even if it is 'open'.  Why talk with a guy who may end up leaving in the middle of a  conversation because his wife shows up was her point.  Although not my style I could respect that view.  We bid our kind adieus.

Fast forward to today.  I hopped on during my lunch late, hoping to catch a moment with my bride as we had spoken earlier.  Talk on the boards regarding the default rooms had piqued my curiousity, I visited the yacht.  Wish Pearl is the name.  A small crowd was there.  On the top deck there was a gentleman enjoying the company of my wife. As much as I know this could happen, can happen, and I should have been okay with it, I still felt conflicted in that moment.  I left.  We did chat briefly after that, since it was late night now for her.  But I could sense some awkwardness where there shouldn't be any.

So, although this trip has been worthwhile, I can see that this marriage label comes with expectations.  Both seen and unseen, from others and from an openminded (or so I thought) myself.

Its sort of ironic.  I came into this game with expectations, and my experience was by and large frustrating.  When I dropped those expectations and just approached the place freely, it has been a nonstop blast.  Now I haven't changed, but a label on my profile introduced expectations.  Guess it is time for a talk, and working on removing that label?

Stay tuned!

 

  

 

 

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It's been really interesting reading about your experience, JP. It confirms some of the concerns I would have about getting into a 3dx marriage, and how it might change the experience. But then some players actually want that experience (well, not the negative aspects of it I'm sure, but the commitment. 

If your curiosity isn't sated yet, I'd say have a talk with @SusanLouisa and @Vaughan_Rarius. I jokingly call them the power couple of 3dx but fact of the matter is they've been married for a while now and things are still going strong between them. They might offer you some insights into your research :)

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Yes, @Nektar, none of this is an indictment against those who want this, and thrive here being married.  I have attended a couple of events where friends have celebrated their unions, and couldn't be more happy for them!

I think this is more a reflection on me.  What do I really want from my experience here, and does that square with being married?  This is on me to figure out.

All I know is there are so many here that I have grown to know, respect, and enjoy sharing time with.  It feels like in that moment, that time spent with them, it needs to be all about them. Us.  To do otherwise seems to cheapen that moment? 

In no way is a reflection on my partner.  She is totally an awesome person, that I do enjoy being with!

So much to ponder.

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6 hours ago, Derai said:

My marriage in 3DX has endured for almost 3 years now. But, it’s not a traditional marriage methinks. 

Me and Cicely both play our own way, have fun and practically function as singles, just showing our friendship bond by way of the marriage. 

Wow, 3 years?!  The whirlwind of experiences (at least 98.23 percent positive) I have had here in just 6 months makes 3 years seem forever ago!  Congrats to you two.  If Cicely is anything like you, Dee, Cicely is pretty damn special!

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  • 3 weeks later...

Since the last update to this thread, I have seen my lovely wife perhaps twice and those moments were brief.  Due to time differences, we just never seem to be online at the same time to share in each other.  Meanwhile, when perusing her gift list, she is not lacking in attention and affections from other men.  All good!  However, I seem to have to explain my relationship status to a number of women, not to mention those who want to RP with me as the cheating husband.  Not really the direction I thought this would take me. 

I believe it is time for us to part as spouses.  Remaining problem is actually seeing her in game to talk this through amicably.

Kudos to you that make an open marriage work!  I may revisit this at some point, but think I will just enjoy being a single Jack for a time.

Peace!

  

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  • 2 weeks later...

Final update.  Saw my bride was online today, and messaged her with no response.  A check of her profile and gift registry indicates she is enjoying the attention of many suitors, including one that also claims her as his husband.  And that she is now pregnant with his child.  If that is how they want to role play, go for it.  However, this isn't territory I want to play in, so I ended our union on the spot.  Did I enjoy the ride, yeah.  Did I like how it ended, not really.  I wished her nothing but getting what she wants from in this game and in life.  We'll see if she ever responds.

This is a crazy world, and I plan to enjoy it fully.  I love freely, and now my profile matches who I am.   So if we run into each other in game?  Do say hello! :)

   

Edited by JackPine
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