Leopardus Posted August 11, 2020 Share Posted August 11, 2020 "Will you be able to cum soon? It's just that my husband is waiting to come in to get changed out of his work clothes" Derai 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leopardus Posted August 11, 2020 Share Posted August 11, 2020 "Oh no..no..when I said I'm cumming I was answering my wife. She was calling me down for dinner" Derai 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leopardus Posted August 11, 2020 Share Posted August 11, 2020 (edited) "Will you be able to cum soon? It's just that I have to be up in 5 hours to catch the school bus" (You DEFINATELY don't want to hear this!) Edited August 12, 2020 by Leopardus Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leopardus Posted August 11, 2020 Share Posted August 11, 2020 (edited) "You're not as attractive and quite a lot fatter than my ex... but you do have an Irish accent so that helps a bit." Edited August 12, 2020 by Leopardus Derai 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leopardus Posted August 11, 2020 Share Posted August 11, 2020 (edited) "Now baby you're about to find out why I call myself The Orgasmatron. Aim. Insert. FIRE!" Edited August 12, 2020 by Leopardus Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leopardus Posted August 11, 2020 Share Posted August 11, 2020 "Oooo Baby...yes.. that's so good...God I love it....fuck yes...that's amazing....but what made you want to put a Jackson Pollock above the bed rather than somewhere it could be seen by more people?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leopardus Posted August 11, 2020 Share Posted August 11, 2020 "That reminds me. I must pop into the fishmongers after I leave here" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leopardus Posted August 11, 2020 Share Posted August 11, 2020 (edited) "Have you heard of pelvic floor exercises?" Edited August 12, 2020 by Leopardus Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leopardus Posted August 11, 2020 Share Posted August 11, 2020 (edited) I'm cummin...no I'm not...hold on...I'm cummin...nope...a bit more...I'm cummin...nah....yes I'm cummin....no almost...I'm cummin...nope....could you at least try harder to make me cum?" Edited August 11, 2020 by Leopardus Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leopardus Posted August 11, 2020 Share Posted August 11, 2020 "When you said I could do anything I wanted to you, have you ever tried vomit sploshing?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leopardus Posted August 11, 2020 Share Posted August 11, 2020 (edited) "I know you brought me back here for sex, but the honest truth is I have only ever stood at the entrance before, watching everyone else in the room dancing and fucking....." Edited August 12, 2020 by Leopardus Derai 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leopardus Posted August 11, 2020 Share Posted August 11, 2020 "Wow, it's definately warmer than doing it with a melon" Derai 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leopardus Posted August 11, 2020 Share Posted August 11, 2020 "Apparently my sperm are so fit women can feel them wriggling around inside for days after" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leopardus Posted August 11, 2020 Share Posted August 11, 2020 "Talk dirty to you? Sure. Oooo baby, it's been 2 months since I last washed my dick..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leopardus Posted August 11, 2020 Share Posted August 11, 2020 (edited) "Thanks sweetie, I enjoyed that. By the way...I've never failed yet. 100% pregnancy record...each and every time." Edited August 11, 2020 by Leopardus Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leopardus Posted August 11, 2020 Share Posted August 11, 2020 (edited) "Michael, I know we only just met, but were you thinking of pink or yellow rose's for the table decorations?" Edited August 14, 2020 by Leopardus Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leopardus Posted August 11, 2020 Share Posted August 11, 2020 (edited) "While I'm lying here doing nothing, did I tell you about my ex? It's quite a funny story really. After he dumped me I stalked him incessantly, made his life hell, I told lies to all his friends and family about him The thing was I knew he loved me really but he just found...oh don't stop, keep going... he just found it hard to admit it, so I was only trying to help him realise. In the end he got a court order against me. I'm over him now, especially as I just met you this evening. I really have a strong feeling about you...." Edited August 12, 2020 by Leopardus Derai and JackPine 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laina Posted August 12, 2020 Share Posted August 12, 2020 *as they start to choke you* I've dealt with your SHIT for too long! Nektar and JackPine 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derai Posted August 12, 2020 Share Posted August 12, 2020 The sudden revving of a chainsaw somewhere behind you. JackPine 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leopardus Posted August 12, 2020 Share Posted August 12, 2020 "Um...is this bit supposed to come off?" JackPine and Derai 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leopardus Posted August 12, 2020 Share Posted August 12, 2020 (edited) "Oh, I love how when I squeeze this boob, the other one inflates, and then when I squeeze the other one........" Edited August 12, 2020 by Leopardus Derai and JackPine 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jadekhali Posted August 12, 2020 Share Posted August 12, 2020 "Are you through yet"? Derai and JackPine 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leopardus Posted August 12, 2020 Share Posted August 12, 2020 "Oh damn. I've got the wrong apartment again, haven't I?" JackPine and Derai 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leopardus Posted August 12, 2020 Share Posted August 12, 2020 (edited) "Barney, my invisible friend, says it's his turn now" Edited August 13, 2020 by Leopardus JackPine 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JackPine Posted August 12, 2020 Share Posted August 12, 2020 "JackpineTim, my real neighbor, is here to run his chainsaw now" Derai 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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