Caren Posted August 5, 2020 Share Posted August 5, 2020 So my friends and I were bantering and riffing the other day on the topic "Things you don't want to hear during sex." This was the result. Warning: some of them are flat out gross. Let me know which is your favorite, and add your own in the thread! ❤ HazyRays, Syeira, Lynnibree and 7 others 6 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lynnibree Posted August 5, 2020 Share Posted August 5, 2020 This is amazing, C. Thanks for making it! Syeira and Caren 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nektar Posted August 5, 2020 Share Posted August 5, 2020 Thanks! There're some really life-scarring lines in there Caren 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nektar Posted August 5, 2020 Share Posted August 5, 2020 Him after cumming: "Mmm the ants really are in the sugar now..." "Why are some women attracted to serial killers? Not that I'm complaining, it's worked wonders for me!" Caren, HazyRays, AtticusFinch and 1 other 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JackPine Posted August 5, 2020 Share Posted August 5, 2020 As your kisses and licks travel slowly down her body, your tongue pausing, rimming her navel while your body and hands spread her legs. She moans in delight as your face slides ever lower, your tongue leaving a glistening trail as it snakes ever closer to its prize. Her hands tangled in your hair as she gasps, "Ooooo, goddd yesss, I hope you love cheese!" HazyRays, Caren, AtticusFinch and 2 others 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derai Posted August 5, 2020 Share Posted August 5, 2020 The four deadly words for those that have a dick: ”Are you in yet?” Laina, AtticusFinch, JackPine and 5 others 2 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nektar Posted August 5, 2020 Share Posted August 5, 2020 "Lube? Sure, I keep a bottle next to my super glue bottle!" Caren, Derai, AtticusFinch and 2 others 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HazyRays Posted August 5, 2020 Share Posted August 5, 2020 "Brace yourself..... things are about to get weird" JackPine, Caren, Derai and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derai Posted August 5, 2020 Share Posted August 5, 2020 “Is that supposed to be there...?” ”My uncle showed me this trick...” ”Honey I’m Hoooooome!” JackPine, HazyRays, Caren and 1 other 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HazyRays Posted August 5, 2020 Share Posted August 5, 2020 "Can you hurry up, the footballs starting on the tele in a minute" JackPine and AtticusFinch 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pryss Posted August 5, 2020 Share Posted August 5, 2020 As you do a sexy dance in front of her and you turn around with your middle exposed, you freeze at the expression of sadness and tears brimming her eyes as she says "What happened to you?? Is it benign?!?" HazyRays and AtticusFinch 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derai Posted August 6, 2020 Share Posted August 6, 2020 “I had chili for dinner, here’s hoping I keep it in~” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chloe Posted August 6, 2020 Share Posted August 6, 2020 „I am done, now it’s your turn!“ HazyRays 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JackPine Posted August 6, 2020 Share Posted August 6, 2020 (edited) "When the clinic called and said my tests were positive, that's a good thing, right?" Edited August 6, 2020 by JackPine Spell Checker Pryss, AtticusFinch and HazyRays 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derai Posted August 7, 2020 Share Posted August 7, 2020 A door opening when you and your lover are the only ones in the house. And: “Oh by the way, don’t mind the spiders~” HazyRays and JackPine 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HazyRays Posted August 7, 2020 Share Posted August 7, 2020 The sound of your partner snoring......... JackPine 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derai Posted August 7, 2020 Share Posted August 7, 2020 The sound of running dogs and furniture being knocked over. (actually happened to me, dogs wrecked half the living room while freaking out about something) JackPine 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pryss Posted August 7, 2020 Share Posted August 7, 2020 37 minutes ago, MikeyDee said: You open your eyes from the bliss of ecstasy and see a wildlife documentary film crew and Sir David Attenborough. “So as we can see, the male has successfully copulated with the female and the mating ritual... is a success” Oh if you think dogs kicking off can put off off your stride? Try being stared at by a perplexed cat “Da fuck you doing bruh?” Why does your cat have my accent? JackPine 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derai Posted August 7, 2020 Share Posted August 7, 2020 (edited) “Who the fuck is (name you just moaned)?” Edited August 7, 2020 by Derai chloe and JackPine 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derai Posted August 8, 2020 Share Posted August 8, 2020 “Ma’am! This is a public bus! You can’t do that here!” chloe and ☙𝔼𝕩❧ 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derai Posted August 8, 2020 Share Posted August 8, 2020 “My ex always loved this though...” JackPine and chloe 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derai Posted August 10, 2020 Share Posted August 10, 2020 "Wait, wait! I think I'm stuck! Don't move!!! Oh god! Nooo!" JackPine 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derai Posted August 11, 2020 Share Posted August 11, 2020 The crunch of car tires against the pavement after you accidentally kicked the handbrake while cumming... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leopardus Posted August 11, 2020 Share Posted August 11, 2020 (edited) "Now I've got going, I think your mother was tighter". Edited August 12, 2020 by Leopardus Derai 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leopardus Posted August 11, 2020 Share Posted August 11, 2020 "Will you be able to cum soon? It's just that I have to get up early tomorrow for an appointment at the STD clinic I've been waiting ages for". Derai 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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