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Derai’s diary, dreams, dialog and discussions (oh my)


Derai

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Sometimes you are having a good day. 
But life throws you a curveball. 
 

Yesterday I was having a Monday, capital M, blue Monday. 
But I kept my spirits up, hung out at a friends room. 
Then saw a ghost of my past walk in. 
A former friend who I finally had enough of a couple of months ago. 
I cut them from my life, but missed one of their ‘faces’ as it where. 
Not wanting a discussion or airing of grievances, I just clicked the button and made them disappear. 
Only for them to show me another face I didn’t know about 30 seconds later. 
 

I got called pathetic, a coward for ignoring them and throwing years of friendship away. 
Got told to grow a spine and talk to them or just fuck off. 
 

But you know what? 
Maybe I was wrong to block them suddenly after that last fight months ago. 
Maybe I did throw 8 years of friendship away. 
Maybe...

Maybe, my mistake was waiting. 
Maybe I finally got the courage to say enough. 
Maybe I finally freed myself of a millstone. 
Maybe I finally straightened my spine and stood upright. 
 

Maybe, they should just take their own advice and fuck off. 
 

I know I made mistakes. 
But sometimes you just need to cut things away to get ahead. 
Life’s too short to be tied down to toxic influences. 
And perhaps I was the toxic one, in which case walking away did them a favor too. 

So life goes on. 
And you know what?

I’m alright. 

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On 3/30/2021 at 5:12 AM, Derai said:

And perhaps I was the toxic one,

No , the opposite. You regurgitated the gall that you received from him.

What it was lost, was a good opportunity for reconciliation, perhaps one of the best moments we can share with dear friends.

I am sure his regretting what he did.

ps : it was difficult to find that "regurgitate" verb... 😅

🖤

 

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3 hours ago, Silvio said:

ps : it was difficult to find that "regurgitate" verb... 😅

🖤

 

I find this so pleasingly ironic.  Both the owner of this diary, and commenter above.  English not their first language.  However, so eloquent and well spoken.  I wonder how many of my English speaking American brethren even know the meaning of "regurgitate".

A joy to read and share in your thoughts.

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1 minute ago, JackPine said:

English not their first language.  However, so eloquent and well spoken.

I think personally that Non-Native speakers often sound more eloquent and formal because they tend to use the language as its Taught. Not as it is Used. 
 

There is of course the influence of TV and Movies, which come to think on it probably prove my point. 
 

For example (and this is a bit generalizing)

In the Netherlands, English is a mandatory part of our schooling, and our entertainment industry uses subtitles instead of Dubbing. 
 

As a result we learn the formal rules of English in school, but get exposed to the ‘common use’ in movies and shows. 
 

Meanwhile our Eastern neighbors the Germans, dub their Entertainment imports. So while they get taught the formal, they often fall behind on the informal use of English. 

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29 minutes ago, Derai said:

I think personally that Non-Native speakers often sound more eloquent and formal because they tend to use the language as its Taught. Not as it is Used. 
 

There is of course the influence of TV and Movies, which come to think on it probably prove my point. 
 

For example (and this is a bit generalizing)

In the Netherlands, English is a mandatory part of our schooling, and our entertainment industry uses subtitles instead of Dubbing. 
 

As a result we learn the formal rules of English in school, but get exposed to the ‘common use’ in movies and shows. 
 

Meanwhile our Eastern neighbors the Germans, dub their Entertainment imports. So while they get taught the formal, they often fall behind on the informal use of English. 

I can't argue your logic on this, but still leaves me appreciative of your knowledge.  And to borrow from Silvio that he struggled to find the right word.  That requires effort and a desire to be heard correctly. Isn't that writing in its purest form, no matter the language?  Kudos.

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Random ramble-

The last few days have been a roller coaster yet again. 
Had a long Easter Weekend and got to spend a lot of it online. 

DJ’d on Saturday and had a total blast as usual. Being naked around awesome people, hearing good music from my fellow Divas and hearing them and a awesome crowd enjoy mine. It’s a rush. 

Sunday was mostly spent in Reality, but after all of that was said and done I managed to wander into my go-to hangout in recent weeks, a place called SubSpace.  
My wife was there with her Pet and we chatted with a girl we met days before. 
Talking turned lewd, and the night ended with us all in a sweaty sated heap on some beds in the back room. 
 

Monday was another Sunday, spent time with my dogs and later when curfew came around, online yet again. 
I wandered into the United Independent Easter party. And got ambushed. 
The DJ Foxxxy who I used to know under another name gave me a shoutout on mic. 
Reminiscing about something that I did for her 4 years ago. Made me blush and giggle as she called me One in a Million. 
 

Yesterday, a Tuesday that felt like a Monday. 
However I chose to spend most of the evening at my friends Double D room. 
Few hours of tunes, laughter, Emus and Woks (it makes sense in context) ensued. 
Spent most of the evening naked and laughing till my sides hurt. 
And those that know me, know it’s a good day then~
 

All in all and as a Tl;Dr?

Life is good!

Thanks for reading this far, stay safe out there. And take care!

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21 minutes ago, Derai said:

 Made me blush and giggle as she called me One in a Million.

She was only off by about 7.7 billion!  You are you, one of a kind, and I for one feel fortunate to have gotten this opportunity to know you,  Derai!  So happy to see you... happy. May it continue! ❤️

Edited by JackPine
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3 minutes ago, JackPine said:

She was only off by about 7.7 billion!  You are you, one of a kind, and I for one feel fortunate to have gotten this opportunity to know you,  Derai!  So happy to see you... happy. May it continue! ❤️

N’aaaw. Thanks Tim ❤️
I totally forgot to mention hanging out with you at SubSpace yesterday, teasing you and Terio by wiggling my butt in that short skirt made me smile~
You two boys know how to make a girl feel desired for sure~

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33 minutes ago, Derai said:

N’aaaw. Thanks Tim ❤️
I totally forgot to mention hanging out with you at SubSpace yesterday, teasing you and Terio by wiggling my butt in that short skirt made me smile~
You two boys know how to make a girl feel desired for sure~

No mention really required.  That plaid skirt is burned into my mind! ❤️

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57 minutes ago, Nektar said:

Wait wait wait, you two were at Subspace?! I feel like I'm missing out 😮 Also, you're supposed to be an innocent, blushing bride, Piney! Innocent!

My waifu Cicely is a regular at SubSpace and Slave Garden. We go there quite often.

I saw you shaking your ass one night at the Slave Garden dance party Nek.

But I didn’t stay long enough to say hi. 
The Friday Truth or Dare game at Slave Garden is my fave of the things they do. 
 

But when I compare Slave Garden with SubSpace, I kinda prefer SubSpace myself. 
Room just looks more inviting to me. 

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6 minutes ago, Silvio said:

Ohhh how difficult is find you all IN the game... At least I have some clues now. My buggy mind doesn't help too.

🖤

My regular spots are;

- SubSpace by Capo. 
- Anaganda’s Bathhouse often hosted by Vampixie. 
- Havasu by Hinch(I think). 
- Slave Garden by ArchitectsTwin. 
- Chill w Bill on Mondays. By Curiousret. 
- Lake Keely by several hosts.

There are others, but those are the ones I go back to most often.  

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53 minutes ago, Derai said:

My regular spots are;

- SubSpace by Capo. 
- Anaganda’s Bathhouse often hosted by Vampixie. 
- Havasu by Hinch(I think). 
- Slave Garden by ArchitectsTwin. 
- Chill w Bill on Mondays. By Curiousret. 
- Lake Keely by several hosts.

There are others, but those are the ones I go back to most often.  

Ohhh you are in many places...  I used only to go sin and beach room, Bichincho parties.

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