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Derai’s diary, dreams, dialog and discussions (oh my)


Derai

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Found this today, but it also relates to 3DX in my mind (Or wad of soggy bacon)
The same 3lbs of soggy meat pudding in some people manages to dream up and design such vivid worlds for us to visit.
Or manages to write out sentences that resonate so hard with our minds and bodies that we drive ourselves to wondrous orgasms (sometimes even without even touching ourselves)
I don't know about you guys but that is just awesome~

And you know what else is awesome?

You are, you that is reading this~
You rock.
You matter~

Stay safe and have fun out there!

 

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Gonna be another stream of consciousness ramble today. 
 

Dear close Friend of mine is having health issues, and yesterday got roaring drunk before cryptically saying they got 2020 style news.  
Then today I get an news push notification of a celebrity dying with the exact same first name. 
It’s stuff like that you can’t make up, I know it ain’t my friend that’s dead. But seeing a notification of someone’s passing with their name on the day after they so cryptically hint at something, is sobering. 
 

In my own life, a coworker is trying to get me fired, and while my section manager had my back, their reasoning for taking my side in the most recent dispute was... In some ways even worse as the allegations. 
 

On here I’ve been commenting on things again, admittedly to poke around and see if someone pokes back. 
Ive said it before, I feel my best when I can spite someone. 
A failing I’m sure, but a leopard can’t change its spots. 
 

In the game meanwhile, I’m finding my libido rekindled and actually found some guys worth my time. 
Guys that poked me, (in all senses of the word) and managed to keep me interested and satisfied with the encounters. 
 

All in all, pretty much life as usual really. 
Still, it’s good to put fingers to touchscreen and write this down. 
Lets me read back some days and remember. 
Always got to have memories and mementos. 
 

Anyhow, just a few thoughts. 
Stay safe y’all, wash your hands, wear a mask and don’t be an asshole. Toodles!

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Another day, another ramble. 
 

How to quantify doing something nice for an in essence selfish reason. 
Context. 
I made a friend in 3DX, they’re basically bubbly, hyper and just a bundle of genuine joy that lights up a room by showing up. 
 

During my dark days, I felt better just seeing them bounce around. 
 

Yesterday I gifted them a game they’ve been wanting to play, but could not afford. 
 

But here’s the thing, if I’m honest with myself, I bought it for them. To make them happy. But it felt like me giving a cow a treat so their milk stays sweet. 
Me giving the gift, felt like me making sure that the lantern that’s keeping the dark at bay, stays fueled. 
 

Not sure how I should feel about that. 
Or is that simply a thing I’m overthinking again?

Probably am. 
Heh...

As always, it helps writing it down. 
Makes me think. Order my thoughts. 
 

I’m overthinking this. 
 

Anyhow, stay safe out there!

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1 hour ago, Derai said:

I’m overthinking this. 

Yes.  You are.  Be comfortable with that sweet gesture, it was good.   Right before the start of 2021, I met someone similar who was going to have to drop from the game due to financial reasons.  I was able to provide a game token, so they can continue to be here.  Selfish intentions or not, it just feels good to help a friend.  We are all in this together!

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1 hour ago, JackPine said:

Yes.  You are.  Be comfortable with that sweet gesture, it was good.   Right before the start of 2021, I met someone similar who was going to have to drop from the game due to financial reasons.  I was able to provide a game token, so they can continue to be here.  Selfish intentions or not, it just feels good to help a friend.  We are all in this together!

You know me by now Jack of the Pines~
I'm my own worst critic.

But thanks for the comforting words!
Be safe out there! ❤️

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What’s best in life?

To hear a friend sigh in relief as you hug them again after a long separation.


To see their face flit from expression to expression as you reconnect.


To slip right into the old patterns like slipping into a well worn glove.

To feel the familiar warmth inside when memories and emotions stir inside.

To part ways with a unspoken promise on your shared lips, that no matter what happens.

To know that time and space might separate you once more. Sometimes, most of the time, the stars will align. 
 

What is best in life?

Conan would say, to crush one’s enemies.

To see them driven before you.

And to hear the lamentations of their womenfolk.

I walk a different path.

I don’t need to crush my enemies, because I have none but myself.

I drive myself into the ground.

And hear my lamentations fall on deaf ears in an uncaring world. 
 

But. Not all is lost. 
 

What’s best in life?

To share it. 
To live it. Together. 
To have friends that reach down and join you in the dark. 
Or that find you again in the warm light of a sunny beach. 
Life, at times, is Good. 

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3 minutes ago, Nektar said:

I've been missing the WAAAAAGH! lately. Good to see it's coming back :) I always had fun at your events!

We went down to 1 event per month, each 1st Saturday of the Month.
But there might be some changes coming, can't say much though! All still very hush hush!

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This does make me wonder though. 
What’s with all the clairvoyant folks online that for some reason think they can see who is behind the text they read?

I never did figure out how to tell gender or orientation from mere text. 
Is it the sentence structure? 
Word use? 
Maybe punctuation?

It’s all a mystery to me to be honest, I don’t know how to discern anything about the person typing something, other then their thoughts and views. 
And ideas and views have no gender, for the most part. 
 

Anyone care to explain?

 

Anyhow, just a thought, and be safe out there people. 

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1 hour ago, Derai said:

This does make me wonder though. 
What’s with all the clairvoyant folks online that for some reason think they can see who is behind the text they read?

I never did figure out how to tell gender or orientation from mere text. 
Is it the sentence structure? 
Word use? 
Maybe punctuation?

It’s all a mystery to me to be honest, I don’t know how to discern anything about the person typing something, other then their thoughts and views. 
And ideas and views have no gender, for the most part. 
 

Anyone care to explain?

 

Anyhow, just a thought, and be safe out there people. 

well my person assessment of the situation which ofc can be wrong
majority of girls who accuse girls of being guys are guys
majority of guys who accuse girls of being guys are just insecure 

in either case, there's no logic behind people either throwing that as an insult or people getting insulted by it...  

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3 hours ago, Anaganda said:

in either case, there's no logic behind people either throwing that as an insult or people getting insulted by it...

I get what you are saying, I’m just trying to imagine how those people think. 
 

I do remember one example now though. 
I once spoke to someone who claimed that anyone who used ‘Hehe’ instead of ‘Haha’ while using a female avatar was suspicious. 
 

It boggles the mind. 

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3 hours ago, Anaganda said:

majority of guys who accuse girls of being guys are just insecure 

I have spoken to a few guys who have warned me of women not being female.  Observing how these guys act in game and various discord groups?  I think its more a coping mechanism to dealing with rejection or being challenged intellectually by a female.  I could be wrong too, but their opinion carries little weight with me.

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46 minutes ago, Derai said:

I get what you are saying, I’m just trying to imagine how those people think. 
 

I do remember one example now though. 
I once spoke to someone who claimed that anyone who used ‘Hehe’ instead of ‘Haha’ while using a female avatar was suspicious. 
 

It boggles the mind. 

Hehe 😁

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1 hour ago, JackPine said:

I have spoken to a few guys who have warned me of women not being female.  Observing how these guys act in game and various discord groups?  I think its more a coping mechanism to dealing with rejection or being challenged intellectually by a female.  I could be wrong too, but their opinion carries little weight with me.

yup defo rejection too... both guys and girls do that.

but... one of those days, I'll make a guy avatar and play him gay... cause tbh I like dick on dick porn so much.
if you saw an Anagando walking around say hi :P

 

 

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1 hour ago, Anaganda said:

yup defo rejection too... both guys and girls do that.

but... one of those days, I'll make a guy avatar and play him gay... cause tbh I like dick on dick porn so much.
if you saw an Anagando walking around say hi :P

 

 

That’s a good point actually Ana. 
I never ever hear folks complain or even talk about that. 
It’s always the “OMG a guy plays a girl character!”

But never “OMG that girl plays a guy character!”

Interesting really. 

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