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Derai’s diary, dreams, dialog and discussions (oh my)


Derai

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Recently I had some talks with a few people.
And independently of each other, all these people kind of had the same issues, in a way.

Namely a bit of a sense of, I'd almost call it entitlement.
I'll keep the details vague, but essentially the issues boiled down to them having a friend, who has their own life, and stuff they do in 3DX.
Yet the people that talk to me, are disappointed that this other person is never available to do things with them.
So their argument is this; 'They're my friend, and it upsets me that they are spending time with Those Others'

My argument to them was this though.
They don't owe you anything, and furthermore, how would you feel if they complained about -you- not being around when They want you to?
I could argue they're going with the 'Other' person, -because- You are not around when they need you.

In many cases, the reply to the above was a indignant 'That's different!'
But is it really?
I'd say some people don't want friends, they want a sure thing to entertain them when They want to.
How dare their friends have 'lives' hmm?

Anyhow, just a random ramble.
Stay safe out there!

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What you just talked about can and does cause major problems for people in the game, it did for me several times. Often I found myself not wanting to log in because I knew a someone would be demanding on me and just waiting for me to log in. These people tend to do nothing wrong other than wanting you to be their best friend and play your game as their best friend. They don't seem to understand that because they count you as their bestie that it does not mean you see them the same way. No matter how hard you try to explain it to them nicely it never seems to sink in and they just continue to have expectations of how you should be with them. Like I would tell them I have had friends in this game for years that I count as my best friends but they would still get angry when I spent time with them or even just seemed to pay more attention to them. They would not only cause problems for me with my time in the game but also cause problems for my friends around me. Often I would get involved in a game or something with other friends where these people would get angry because they had logged in and I didn't want to stop what I was doing to spend time with them. It almost always ended up where I had to get serious and tell them to fuck off and leave me alone. For me to get to that it had to be so badly effecting my time in the game. Then when that did happen most of these people would then go the revenge route, spreading lies and rumours. 

A lot of people need to understand that others in the game are not there to just to be there for yours. That your expectations of what people should do for you can badly effect their game.

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Time ticks towards the end of another year. 
And what a year 2020 has been. 
The meme I saw said a decade of events crammed into a single year, and it sure feels like it. 
I am not going to say that everything is going to be ok next year. 
Far from it, 2021 will probably be worse. 
But you know what?

It doesn’t matter. 
Even if time feels like it’s edging towards a stereotypical ‘End of days’ it doesn’t matter.  
Because, no matter what happens. It happens to all of us. 
We’re in this together. 
Rich or poor, social or antisocial, inclusive or xenophobic.

Time slaps us all down. 
Covid impacts us all. 
The societal upheaval affects us all. 
All of us. 

I take comfort in the fact that no matter how bad it gets, it’s not just me that is suffering. 
Everyone has their issues. 
And it might feel cruel but that comforts me. 
 

Whatever 2021 brings. 
Whatever suffering awaits. 
Whatever happens. 
It happens to all of us. 
 

And you know what?

We got this. 
We got this far. 
And we’ll keep on trucking. 
 

Just a thought. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Christmas Eve is upon us. 
The end of a year in hell draws near. 
Our troubles won’t magically disappear when the clock strikes midnight on the 31st. 
And for most of us, traditional family gatherings have been canceled. 

But we’re still here. 
There are ways for us to get heard. 
To see and hear our loved ones. 
We are not alone. 
And we got this far.

We got this. 
You got this. 
 

Whoever reads this, happy holidays. 
Merry Christmas. 
Belated happy Hanukkah. 
Blessed Yuletide.

Or any other celebration you adhere to around these days. 
May you days be blessed and relaxed. 

It’s dark outside and within us. 
But there’s light. 
We each light up each other’s lives. 

See you all in 2021. 
 

-Derai 

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A random ramble. 
 

99% of all human conflict boils down to Greed. 
It’s our most base instinct, our nature. 
Everyone has it. 
It takes different forms for different people but it’s everywhere. 
 

Even things we see as Good, and Selfless, are in their base essence, based in Greed. 
 

A good person devotes their entire life to giving their wealth away. 
On the face of it this makes them the Antithesis of Greedy. 
But is it really?

Or maybe the Greed in this person comes out in a unspoken Need, to be responsible for the most problems solved. 
Their Greed, is to help people. 
They want to help, and their Greed drives them to help more and more. 
One more person, one more family. Greed pure and simple. 
 

We as a people are driven by it. 
Hell even the Explorers of old, and Scientists now are driven by it. 
Both are Greedy to amass more knowledge of the world around us. 
We are driven to get more of what we want. 
And to protect what we have. 
 

But it’s all Greed. 
It shapes us. It defines us. 
 

Just a thought. 

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Let me tell you about something that happened yesterday, but which is sadly way to common in my 3DX experience. 
 

The setting: A pretty crowded nightclub, people paired up and having sex all across the room. Pretty standard. 
 

Me, dressed as I usually am, crop top and short skirt. No panties. 
 

I saunter around and get an interaction by a guy playing out that I’m someone he knew, mother of one of his students actually. 
Bit strange but I was cruising for some sex so figured I react and see where it goes. 
Put a little sway to my hips and give a bit of a tease. 
 

Dude walks up and we exchange the usual ‘Hi’s’ then he pulls a ‘Hey look over there’ to get me to turn around. 
I play along because I’m having fun flashing him as the skirt flares up when turning. 
Even decide to tease a step further and lean/bend over a bit. 
 

And that’s where he lost the plot. 
If it was a TV show they’d use the Record Needle Scratch there. 
 

Because his response to me leaning over even a little bit was to drop his pants, whip his cock out and go from zero to ‘ramming my cock into your soaked pussy’ in about 3.6 seconds. 
 

First off: Dayum he’s fast and impressive he walked 5 feet with his pants around his ankles. 
Second: I Decide How Wet I Am! 
Third: TEASING DOES NOT MEAN CONSENT TO FUCK ME!

Oh and Fourth: Impressive heat seeking dick to find my pussy on the first try in a dark as fuck nightclub like that. 
 

Seriously though. I told him to go fuck himself. 
Totally bombed my mood. 
And the worst part? 
He would have gotten lucky if he had just waited 2 fucking minutes!!

 

Anyway, rant over. 
See ya!

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I don’t mean to intrude on your diary but the thought of that guy shuffling around the club, pants around his ankles like a sexually frustrated penguin was too good not to share.

Glad to know you managed to dodge his heat seeking moisture missile, nothing worse than a weapon discharging prematurely ;) 

Hopefully your next encounter will be a far better experience, the aim true and the payload delivered with shattering results ;) 

Have a great day :) 

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1 hour ago, Derai said:

Let me tell you about something that happened yesterday, but which is sadly way to common in my 3DX experience. 
 

The setting: A pretty crowded nightclub, people paired up and having sex all across the room. Pretty standard. 
 

Me, dressed as I usually am, crop top and short skirt. No panties. 
 

I saunter around and get an interaction by a guy playing out that I’m someone he knew, mother of one of his students actually. 
Bit strange but I was cruising for some sex so figured I react and see where it goes. 
Put a little sway to my hips and give a bit of a tease. 
 

Dude walks up and we exchange the usual ‘Hi’s’ then he pulls a ‘Hey look over there’ to get me to turn around. 
I play along because I’m having fun flashing him as the skirt flares up when turning. 
Even decide to tease a step further and lean/bend over a bit. 
 

And that’s where he lost the plot. 
If it was a TV show they’d use the Record Needle Scratch there. 
 

Because his response to me leaning over even a little bit was to drop his pants, whip his cock out and go from zero to ‘ramming my cock into your soaked pussy’ in about 3.6 seconds. 
 

First off: Dayum he’s fast and impressive he walked 5 feet with his pants around his ankles. 
Second: I Decide How Wet I Am! 
Third: TEASING DOES NOT MEAN CONSENT TO FUCK ME!

Oh and Fourth: Impressive heat seeking dick to find my pussy on the first try in a dark as fuck nightclub like that. 
 

Seriously though. I told him to go fuck himself. 
Totally bombed my mood. 
And the worst part? 
He would have gotten lucky if he had just waited 2 fucking minutes!!

 

Anyway, rant over. 
See ya!

As one who has seen that crop top, short skirt and no panties, I totally get the desire.  But whoa boy!  How about some manners, commonsense decency and respect?  Boys like this sure don't add to this world for any of us, Dee.  

Furthermore, this boy should learn that 2 minutes is nothing... noth....thing!  Desire and a bit if seduction are as much pleasure as getting to the naughty nitty gritty.

Here's hoping your next prowl finds you with a satisfying result!

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4 hours ago, JackPine said:

As one who has seen that crop top, short skirt and no panties, I totally get the desire.  But whoa boy!  How about some manners, commonsense decency and respect?  Boys like this sure don't add to this world for any of us, Dee.  

Furthermore, this boy should learn that 2 minutes is nothing... noth....thing!  Desire and a bit if seduction are as much pleasure as getting to the naughty nitty gritty.

Here's hoping your next prowl finds you with a satisfying result!

How will he get manners if he Maybe didnt learn them? Any good mannered explanation can help. 

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Just a random thought once more. 
 

I thrive on conflict, need something to compete against. 
Someone to spite. 
I feel happiest when I know that my happiness is driving another up the wall. 
 

Not sure people will agree with that. 
But for me, it works. 
I said it many times, I am, and always will be, a narcissist. 

Only way for me to quantify things that happen or have happened, is to relate them back to me. 
How did it affect me, personally. 
 

The paradox with that last fact, is that my behavior in that regard can actually come across as very caring and emphatic. 
When in reality I’m not trying to soothe your feelings to make you feel better. 
I’m trying to fix my friend so their bad feelings don’t ruin MY mood. 
 

Funny how those things work out though...

 

Anyway, just a thought. 
Stay safe, wash your hands and don’t be an asshole. 

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1 hour ago, Derai said:

Not sure people will agree with that. 
But for me, it works. 
I said it many times, I am, and always will be, a narcissist. 

Only way for me to quantify things that happen or have happened, is to relate them back to me. 
How did it affect me, personally. 

I agree with that. I only ask myself why you call that narcissistic because in fact, it is completely natural human behavior. It is inherent in our genes.

Even the most selfless people are like that because it makes them feel good being selfless.

Recently I read an article about people who rescued others from life danger, risking their own lives. Scientists asked them why they did what they did. The most common answer was: because i could never have lived with the guilt of not having done anything. 
You see what they did? They related it back to themselves.
 

Edited by Kemistry
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4 hours ago, Kemistry said:

I agree with that. I only ask myself why you call that narcissistic because in fact, it is completely natural human behavior. It is inherent in our genes.

Even the most selfless people are like that because it makes them feel good being selfless.

Recently I read an article about people who rescued others from life danger, risking their own lives. Scientists asked them why they did what they did. The most common answer was: because i could never have lived with the guilt of not having done anything. 
You see what they did? They related it back to themselves.
 

I was idly rambling, and wrote down what I thought, as I thought it.
Even to me it doesn't really make sense on rereading.

Not that anything said is explicitly wrong.
It just a bit of a rambling mess.

You are right though, I forgot to factor in the fact that it's a rather human trait.
Hah, kind of proves my point on the Narcissism part though, thinking it was unique to me >.<

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46 minutes ago, Derai said:

I was idly rambling, and wrote down what I thought, as I thought it.
Even to me it doesn't really make sense on rereading.

Not that anything said is explicitly wrong.
It just a bit of a rambling mess.

You are right though, I forgot to factor in the fact that it's a rather human trait.
Hah, kind of proves my point on the Narcissism part though, thinking it was unique to me >.<

Always something to take from your writing, Dee... Even the messy ramble ones!  Even a empathetic person as myself uses my traits to get what I want.  So are we all Narcissists in our own way?  Quite the ponder.  Oh and never forget you are you, and there is no one like Derai!  Some may argue that is a good thing, but I like you just the way you are.

Holy crap I am channeling my inner Mr. Roger's something fierce today.  Better get into the game and fix that soon. :P

 

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