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Bacon Apocalypse


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We all knew this day would come.

Four years ago I came here after the Bacon Rapture. Since then, I have been your guide on this long strange journey toward the Wisdom of the Swine. It has not been easy. We have fought the Green Berry and its wickedness. We have stood shoulder to shoulder and drawn strength from each other but that is at an end.

Recently, the fight has become harder. Now, the mere singing of Dance Piggy is seen as spam. Now one can not raise one's voice and speak the truth. I fear that if I stay it will be at the cost of pretending to be something I am not. I fear that what I have done in the past will not be seen as an inspiration for the future but rather forgotten in favor of more politically correct and recent behavior. I very much like my legacy as it is and this is why I must leave.

I expect I will never see most of you again. I have grown fond of many of you and I will be looking for you at your time of salvation. While the road before you may be hard and long know that whenever you eat an all pork hot dog I will be watching you. Whenever you put bacon in the brine tube my hand will be their right beside yours. I have done my best for each of you and now you must walk alone.

 

The Lawn Tractor.

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“And when the bacon has run out, the  bacon of temporality, when the noise and fuss of the Green Berry has grown silent and its restless or ineffectual activism has come to an end, when everything around you is still, as it is in the eternity, then eternity asks you and every individual in these millions and millions about only one thing: whether you have lived in despair or not.”

— Soren Kierkegaard, “The Sickness Unto Death”

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"To be or not to be Bacon?....That is the question-whether 'tis nobler 
in the mind to suffer scrambled eggs and waffles on the side or to take bagels
against a sea of cream cheese,And,by opposing.eat them?"The idea of whether 
it is better to smoke or fry.

-William Shakespeare,"HAMlet"

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I am not one for long goodbyes so I will just add these few words and then try and resist the temptation to reply further. 

Hamlet Act III Scene I that you quote from is generally thought of as being played in a state of anger or even rage pacing back and forth at the front of a well lit stage yelling at the audience. I am reminded how ever that Richard Burton is commonly thought to have won his knighthood for his portrayal of Hamlet sitting on the floor in dim lighting whimpering the lines. When I look at my time among you preaching the wisdom of the swine, this latter portal seems the most apt;  hence Kierkegaard. 

You offer me one quote from The Bard, let me offer you another.

Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.
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