Jokes

[Guest Doll]

Q - what do u call two crows on a branch

 

A - attempted murder

[Guest AleksXXX]

One day a man came home from work to find his wife crying hysterically in the kitchen. "What's wrong, dearest?" asked the confused husband. "Oh darling," sobbed the wife, "I was cleaning little Suzie's room when I found whips, handcuffs and chains under her bed, along with a very erotic porn magazine! What ever are we going to do?" "Well," replied the man, "I guess a spanking is out of the question?"

[Guest AleksXXX]

Maria went home happy, telling her mother about how she earned $20 by climbing a tree. Her mom responded, "Maria, they just wanted to see your panties!" Maria replied, "See Mom, I was smart, I took them off!

[Laina]

I utilize the vast powers of thread-necromancy to resurrect this dead thread and conjure up the spirit of teh funniez.

 

So, two dozen years ago this friend of mine, a young boy named Tommy decided we should play show and tell.  He pulls his shirt off and points to his chest and says, "Look what I have!"  Well, being a naiive child I followed suit and did the same, retorting "That's nothing, I have those too!"  Wouldn't you know it, it escalates.  He turns around, drops his trousers, spreading his cheeks before saying "Check this out!"  Oh, sad, innocent me once again follows along, "I have that, also!"

 

At this point Tommy turns around and goes, "Oh yeah?  Well, I have this little guy!"  I look down and realize that, no, I do not have one of those.  My eyes tear and take off toward my home where I burst in crying, where my mother quickly finds me and, being a good mother, asks the important question of;  "What's wrong, honey?"   Of course I tell her that "Tommy down the street has this little winkie thingy between his legs and I don't have one and I want one!"

 

She coos, "Aww, sweetie, that's alright.  He'll only ever have that one, and when you get older, you'll be able to have as many as you want!"

 

Ciao,

     -L