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  1. "The sex organs engorge, the skin tingles . . . the eyes dilate, the heart beats faster, the rate of breathing rises, and it is possible that the excited body also puts out aphrodisiac chemical odours." Congratulations! You're in love. At least according to biological theory, as described in Sheila Sullivan's indispensable guide Falling in Love. You name it, we've read about it: falling in love; falling out of love; making love; forbidden love; love found; love lost; love aches; love pains; lovers' tiffs. So, how to write about a subject that everyone else has already written about, and everyone has already read about? That's an interesting question; however, the answer to that question is not as apparent or straightforward. I can entirely see how you can fall in love with someone you've never met. People generally get attracted to each other based on common ideas, common outlook towards life, common value systems, similar views on important issues. Also, you might like their sense of humor - that does come through no matter what the medium - speech or chat or text. So, face-to-face contact isn't as essential in knowing the other person. One can even argue that not having face-to-face contact can have certain advantages. You may not judge the other person for their physical looks per se, but may get in touch with them at a deeper emotional level. Consequently, I would think you could fall in love with someone you've never met in person. But, could such a love stand the test of time? Would such a love overcome the potentially high expectations generated by an online or virtual personality? Certain personality traits may not be visible or apparent in an the online domain. Would such a love then be able to come to terms with the reality of physical imperfections or deficiencies? These are important questions to consider when one falls in love in the virtual world. Assuming that a couple has met in a virtual world, the more interesting thing that I'd like to know would be - what would be their reaction when they do in fact meet in person for the first time. You may like their thoughts/views on various subjects and like the online person you've met, but what if the person turns out to be, well, not as attractive physically when you first meet them. Can you overlook that fact and love them the same way as you did before you met? Even though most people say (to be politically correct than anything else) that outward beauty doesn't matter to them, generally most people value beauty in a potential partner. So, while it is possible that you can fall in love with someone you've never met in person, it is not as possible to predict whether you would in fact remain in love with that person - once you've met them - especially if that person turns out to be not as attractive (based on your standards of attractiveness). Also, when you do in fact meet a person face-to-face, you may discover many things about him/her that you hadn't quite anticipated. Perhaps, he/she has some embarrassing habits that you hadn't quite anticipated -- or perhaps he/she has some irritating quality that wasn't apparent to you before through his/her online persona. So, while you can fall in love with someone you've never met, whether you stay in love with that person is quite another matter. There is also the potential problem of anonymity and people who mask their true identities online. You may have very good, honest, genuine intentions and want real love, but can you be really sure that the other person with whom you are chatting to or speaking with shares those intentions? For all you know, the other person may be twice the age he/she actually claims to be, he/she may be married and claim to be single, they may be showing you pictures of someone else but may claim that the person in the picture is in fact them. How can you be sure? The online world is a world of escape for some people and many just come online to live a world they can't live in the real world. So, they may just log in and claim to be someone who they are not, but you have no way of knowing that. To me, this is the biggest problem a person who connects with another person online faces. So, while you may fall in love with someone you've never met physically (and it is quite possible) - the more important question that you should be asking is if you truly have fallen in love with a real person - who exists in the real world - or an online mirage that's a figment of someone's imagination, someone who is just in it for the fun of it, maybe just to find someone to get physical with, someone who is not as serious about finding love as you are? According to recent posts by dating websites, approximately 15 to 20% of all online relationships lead to marriage. Marriage experts agree that there are a few benefits with online dating that far outweigh traditional dating. For example, many people find it easier to be more vulnerable with their emotions online, and the courtships can last longer for couples that talk online. Experts agree that having intimacy and sex before you know the person well can damage the relationship. Depending on when the meet up happens, these couples may actually know one another on a more intimate level than people who date face to face. The biggest concern is that people who are dating online have an easier time being deceptive. It's easy to fool someone if you are never face to face with them. Leading them on or scamming them is also more likely as they only know what you tell them or what they see via a possible Skype. Relationships that don't progress to an eventual meet up are not normal. Humans want to see the person they believe they love, they want to touch them, and they want to connect physically with them. In fact, resisting a meet up after months of talking daily would be a sign that there is something amiss with the person you met online. For example, problems with commitment, abandonment or fear of being vulnerable would stand out as likely with this group. So, hope for the best, but expect the worst to save yourself some heartbreak. Online love does happen and has happened. I believe that a virtual romantic relationship, when judged by its emotional content, can be as real as any other form of relationship. What it can’t be, sadly, is an absolute guarantor of a successful non-virtual relationship. Some people – I won’t venture a guess about the percentages – might get along fantastically virtually, but couldn’t stand each other in person. Have you fallen in love with someone you've never met? If so, I'd like to hear. Feel free to share your experiences ... (please do not use In Game Names, if refering to players)
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