MaraWinterdyde

Well...where do I start this post. So many things have changed. 

As a lot of you know, my husband in game and I are no longer together which I am STILL reeling from. So please ....bare with me while I deal with this. I knew just before we started dating in game, that him and I would never be real life, because he's married in rl and has a family of his own. But he became my best friend, and I his. And that is something that NO ONE here can take away from us. So that doesn't mean that what we shared didn't matter to either of us. 

I also have been dealing with a shit ton of bullying from several different DJ's and club owners in game. When he left my original CLUB 21 server a little while after he left me, that was the nail that sealed the coffin shut for me. I had no reason to stay anymore. I wanted to leave MONTHS before because of all the people that were trash talking me in game, on their discord servers. I would NEVER do that to anyone. I would NEVER EVER @everyone in my server and trash talk any of you the way you did me. Why? So I can stoop down to your level? What for? What is that going to solve? Nothing. That's what. Sure, at the end, before I left the game, I called you all out on Mic. I didn't call you assholes, bitches, thief's, nothing of the sort. I called you "bullies". Because that is exactly what you were. Some of you still are. I'm not going to name any names. I don't need to. Because if you read this, you'll know I'm talking about you. And when you do, I fucking hope to God you're proud of yourselves.

Yes, I have been told I have ton of people that love and care for me here. I get it. But until you've been through what I have been, which you NEVER will, because you're NOT me, please, for the love of God, do NOT judge me or the decisions I make. This might be bible scripture, and y'all might not be religious but it's so fucking true... "He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her." Book of John Chapter 8 vs 7. I'm not saying I'm perfect. Hell no. But I certainly don't deserve the shit y'all have been throwing my way. 

I am sick and fucking tired of people treating this like it's just a "game". There is no mission here. There is no goal here. There are no fucking golden rings that you have to run around at the speed of light collecting. There is no princess that you need to save at the end of the game. This ....is a 3 dimensional social platform. You chat, you're social, you mix and mingle with different people from around the world. Sure, you can be creative, and learn to DJ and build like I was taught by my best friend. But if you're going to go around and cat call and bully people, fuck off. Find a new fucking hobby. Take up knitting...no...wait...take up crocheting. It's easier. I know, because I've been doing it for 32 years. Yup there is tidbit of information you didn't know about me. As long as I have a pattern, I can make it. Some of you won't care. Others might.

To be honest, I still don't really know why the hell I came back. I sat on a discord call with a good friend of mine. It was like, idk....about  2hours? Maybe longer? And I cried and I cried and I cried because I had just had my heart shattered by someone that I trusted with my life (and trust me when I say, THAT doesn't come easy with me) and angry at the world that there were such assholes out there that had nothing better to do with their time than berate and bully me. I had my entire online world turned upside in what seemed like the blink of an eye.

Part of me missed djing. Part of me missed buildling. All of me missed him. And as much as it hurt to see him, knowing that we would never be the same again, maybe seeing him in game is why I came back. To be honest, I have no fucking clue. But what my friend (We'll call him Smitty) on that call said to me ...hit home. He told me he missed me. He told me I had a ton of people that loved and cared for me. All he said to me was to reactivate my account. Even if I didn't log in, at least I had it there in case I decided to come back. 2 hours later, with 9 hours, 14 min, and 37 seconds left before they would be permanently gone (I created a timer on my cell phone app), I restored my two accounts, me and Shade (I talk as if she's a separate person. lol. She's not. She's still me. xD). Three days later, I logged back in for the time in 33 days. 

It's been a very huge bittersweet return. 

Everything is different. 

Before I met you, I saw shades of black, white and grey...then when I met you, I started seeing shades of blues...and greens...and purples....and yellows.....

You opened my eyes to a whole new world... 

But now....they're fading again... and I don't know how to get them back.... 

Well tonight was a very interesting night. I was asked a few weeks ago to DJ at my friend Delaines all Canadian DJ venue for Canada day. I of course said yes. But my husband, SaintVitus, surprised me by showing up tonight. I was tickled pink. I played an all Canadian Rock band set and I ended it with me singing a cover of Hedley's Perfect. I actually had a good time. Some of you know that I have been struggling with some personal stuff lately so this is something that I really needed tonight. 

After the venue, it was nice to just chill with him and cuddle talking with a friend. I have never hung out in the default rooms. But we decided to hang out in default beach room where it's nighttime and it's actually really nice. 

What nice change compared to what I've been dealing with in game lately. 

I'm actually looking forward to the grand opening of our new venue, Sunset Island this coming Saturday, July 3rd.

Hope to see some of you there. Take care and have a great night.