RenegadeClaw

I was playing here few year ago before I had real life problems and went on few surgeries. While playing here I met a guy who cared for me. Took me in his friends circle. Because I had no clue how the game works and mostly gays were pricks, I went with him expecting another one who will be the same. He gave me everything and always helped me get back up when I was feeling down. When I left the game I kept his email so we could be chating even then. For 2 years we were chating but when I finaly arived back I found everything destroyed. That guy who cared for me at the begining now were feeling down himself and it was up to me to cheer him up. We were dancing together few night in the row and I tryed to make him feel better with my hands wraped around his neck. But he didnt even smiled at me. Most of the time he was howling on the moon in pain. Every night I was hearing him in pain over and over again. I tryed everything I knew to try making him happy again but I failed. He wasnt the only person I was helping with. One sweet girl lost her wife and was feeling also down. I kept her in my hands so she would feel safe but I was afraid that she might fall in love with me insted. I told her that I dont want to be just a temporary bandage on her wounds the first time but she needed something to fill her empty heart. She tryed to find someone who could give her back what she felt with her wife but couldnt. Probably even now she didnt found it yet. But Im still here for her if she needs a hug. After 6 other friends who needed psychological, wich I helped, I was getting myself lower and lower. Digging myself into deeper and deeper depresions every day. I couldnt told them anything because they were expecting me to be the one strong, the one who will hold them up. I couldnt dissapoit them. But every day I was hearing that guy howl on the moon in pain, I couldnt take it anymore. I tryed to get rid of him, away from me at least for a while. First days I tryed to talk him away. That he should see a doctor if he feels so bad. He was and maybe still is a bigger stubborn head then me. It end up with a rage. Yelling on each others few hours. After those few hours I finaly noticed my fail but it was to late. I was trying to protect that guy from others and himself, his stubborn head that I forgot to protect him from the worst possible thing and that was me. So I agreed on his terms to keep him alone, not to bother him anymore. Problem was that my friends could see me now in pain howling on the moon and wanting to help me. But my friends didnt knew about my promise not to disturbe that guy and every they found him , they couldnt leave it be. I wasnt talking about him with anyone after the promise but my friends knew that guy themselfs and knew him name as well. Since then my friends were asking me about him. Where he is gone , what happend with him, if he is alright. It was hurting my heart not knowing the answer myself . I was crying every time someone asked me about him. I dont need to have his name in my lover list to love him. I dont need any paper to show him what I feel. But others do need that I guess. They do need to know what happend with him, why he is not showing up, why he isnt answering. For one side I cant answer because I dont know the answer and the other side is pissed off on me and I still need to wait a month before I can write to him. Hope he feels at least a bit better ..

Well it mostly depends on my mood. Lately Im enjoying rap with my new "friends" here but this will always have place in my heart <3

The only thing I would like to add would be that relationships should be both sided. If he is trying to get your heart then you should also do something to get his. Been worshiped is always sweet, but sometimes I cant help myself to give it to him back. Even if it would be only peting his hair till he would fall asleep .

Respect is something you are not borned with. Respect is something you need to earn from your words and acts. Every single person in the game does have some kind of mask. They are playing something they are not just because they are enjoying it. Sadly these masks can be swaped like a mood. If you will want to talk about it or if you will need someone to hug you, Im here for you. Ofcorse I might not be perfect but I will try my best just for you. I always found a lot of "friends" aboud me. But when I felt down, they all ran away. Only then you will truly know who are those real friends. Only one took me into his hands and brought me up again. That was 2-3 years ago and till not Im still in contact with him. Trying to repay a favor. Trying to raise him up like he did with me. The point is that you will always get hurt whatever you will try to do to prevent it or not. That is life and always will be. But there are always people who are worth trying for. People who will make you smile.

Pff both of you ! Guys and their ego, braging who's fault it was. One crying to be spamed when you can just block that use and other been agry for something what doesn't mater anymore. I don't know what happend between you two but there will always be problems. That's a life you know. Especialy in a family. Everyone can **** up and you know it. I always loved my family and always will be even when I would love to kill them myself sometimes. But I will be always there to protect them and always there to support them. Have you ever tryed to look on that situation from the other side ? From his point of view ? And tell me would you do it the diferently or would you do it as well. Keep in mind that you dont know the outcome. It's easy to kick down someone but it's harder to help them get up. And that is ment for both of you now.