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panCDCA

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  1. Like
    panCDCA got a reaction from SusanLouisa for a status update, How to Use “Solomon’s Paradox” to Make Better Decisions For all of us, it’s hard to j   
    How to Use “Solomon’s Paradox” to Make Better Decisions   For all of us, it’s hard to judge a problem clearly when we’re immersed in it.   It requires distance to judge things more reasonably. King Solomon, known for his wisdom and sage advice, couldn’t save himself from making disastrous choices that led to his kingdom’s demise, which is why psychological scientist Igor Grossmann dubbed this phenomenon the “Solomon’s Paradox.” Grossmann discovered within his research that, “people reason more wisely about other people’s social problems than about their own.”   When you are dealing with a hard personal decision, you can use “Solomon’s Paradox” to help you come to the clarity you need:   Get distance. When we are living our lives and something happens that is troubling, our view narrows. Our feelings close in on us until we’re blind to the bigger picture.   When I was with the man who was cheating on me, I could only think about how and why I was thinking and feeling and behaving. If I can get my boyfriend to stop cheating on me, we have a chance! If I get him into bed with me again, he’ll change his mind!   I couldn’t think far enough ahead to imagine, “What will our relationship be like a couple of years from now with this person who continually makes promises to me that they break?” “How am I going to be able to forgive his indiscretions and move on?” There are two ways to get distance from an issue.   Imagine you are advising a friend who is in the same predicament. What would you suggest they do or not do?   Talk to yourself in the third person. Instead of asking yourself, “Why am I doing this?” or “What can I do?” ask yourself, “Why is s/he doing that?” “What can s/he do?”   Accept the wisdom you come to. Once you’ve figured out how you would advise a friend or yourself (in the third person), you have to accept what that advice means.   Accepting that advice means coming to terms with some grief. For myself, accepting the advice that I should leave that cheating scoundrel of a boyfriend would mean letting go of a relationship I was invested in, of an “us,” and the ideas I had for the future of that “us.”   You also might be quick to negate your advice. “That’s silly!” you might think. Or, “There’s no way in hell I’m doing that!” Don’t shortchange yourself! Distance will help you get the clarity you need, and whatever wisdom that comes from that shouldn’t be ignored.   Act. Follow through on your advice. This reads easy, but it rarely is. If I had acted when I should have (as in after the first time he cheated or at least the second time), I would have saved myself so much needless heartache.   We all deserve a lot less misery in our lives. Hope you save yourself from some.
  2. Like
    panCDCA reacted to SusanLouisa for a status update, Sweet dreams everyone.   
    Sweet dreams everyone.

  3. Like
    panCDCA reacted to SusanLouisa for a status update, Awww Ross you deleted your comment before I could reply so I will reply here. My comm   
    Awww Ross you deleted your comment before I could reply so I will reply here.  My comment was to you as you felt the need to insult all who spend time to post here.  I stated it was ironic that you should say such a thing since you are always here and # 4 on the Leaderboard.  You returned that comment by saying something about my having alts to increase my position on the leaderboard before I got butt hurt and left for another game/s.
    #1.  I did not get butt hurt.  What ever made you think that and over what exactly?  I left with my man to explore other games but I still have a one year subscription to 3DX.
    #2. Alts and competing on Leaderboard:  Yes competing was fun for a while but since I am not on the game as much any more I felt my efforts were better placed on other forums and focusing on my guy.   I still post but not nearly at the rate I used to. He and I lost interest in it.  As for alts?  You must have me confused with someone else. ~gins~ Have a great day!
  4. Haha
    panCDCA reacted to ☙𝔼𝕩❧ for a status update, The smaller the king, the higher his heel.   
    The smaller the king, the higher his heel.
  5. Like
    panCDCA got a reaction from Adara for a status update, NEW GREEN DAY   
    NEW GREEN DAY 
     
  6. Like
    panCDCA got a reaction from Adara for a status update,   
  7. Like
    panCDCA got a reaction from SusanLouisa for a status update, NEW GREEN DAY   
    NEW GREEN DAY 
     
  8. Like
    panCDCA got a reaction from Celestryal for a status update, HAPPY 88TH BIRTHDAY JOHNNY, MAY YOU HAVE FOUND PEACE AND HAPPINESS WITH YOUR JUNE. ht   
    HAPPY 88TH BIRTHDAY JOHNNY, MAY YOU HAVE FOUND PEACE AND HAPPINESS WITH YOUR JUNE. https://www.britannica.com/biography/Johnny-Cash
  9. Like
    panCDCA got a reaction from ☙𝔼𝕩❧ for a status update, HAPPY 88TH BIRTHDAY JOHNNY, MAY YOU HAVE FOUND PEACE AND HAPPINESS WITH YOUR JUNE. ht   
    HAPPY 88TH BIRTHDAY JOHNNY, MAY YOU HAVE FOUND PEACE AND HAPPINESS WITH YOUR JUNE. https://www.britannica.com/biography/Johnny-Cash
  10. Like
    panCDCA reacted to SusanLouisa for a status update, .   
    .

  11. Like
    panCDCA got a reaction from SusanLouisa for a status update, Mature people take responsibility for THEIR actions and accept the consequences, dram   
    Mature people take responsibility for THEIR actions and accept the consequences, drama queens point fingers and make excuses why they are being singled out... I have been both... took me a VERY long time to "mature".
  12. Haha
    panCDCA got a reaction from SusanLouisa for a status update, YOU'VE GOT A KINK YOU'VE GOT A KINK YOU'VE GOT WHIPS AND CHAINS WHO NEEDS SHRINK YES,   
    YOU'VE GOT A KINK YOU'VE GOT A KINK
    YOU'VE GOT WHIPS AND CHAINS WHO NEEDS SHRINK
    YES, WAY DOWN DEEP INSIDE I'VE GOT A KINK
     
  13. Haha
    panCDCA got a reaction from Kaitlyn1989 for a status update, YOU'VE GOT A KINK YOU'VE GOT A KINK YOU'VE GOT WHIPS AND CHAINS WHO NEEDS SHRINK YES,   
    YOU'VE GOT A KINK YOU'VE GOT A KINK
    YOU'VE GOT WHIPS AND CHAINS WHO NEEDS SHRINK
    YES, WAY DOWN DEEP INSIDE I'VE GOT A KINK
     
  14. Like
    panCDCA got a reaction from Adara for a status update, Mature people take responsibility for THEIR actions and accept the consequences, dram   
    Mature people take responsibility for THEIR actions and accept the consequences, drama queens point fingers and make excuses why they are being singled out... I have been both... took me a VERY long time to "mature".
  15. Like
    panCDCA got a reaction from xPierre for a status update, Mature people take responsibility for THEIR actions and accept the consequences, dram   
    Mature people take responsibility for THEIR actions and accept the consequences, drama queens point fingers and make excuses why they are being singled out... I have been both... took me a VERY long time to "mature".
  16. Like
    panCDCA got a reaction from R0bT for a status update, Mature people take responsibility for THEIR actions and accept the consequences, dram   
    Mature people take responsibility for THEIR actions and accept the consequences, drama queens point fingers and make excuses why they are being singled out... I have been both... took me a VERY long time to "mature".
  17. Like
    panCDCA got a reaction from Lady_Andrea for a status update, And every time I wonder where the world went wrong End up lying on my face going ring   
    And every time I wonder where the world went wrong
    End up lying on my face going ringy-dingy-ding-dong
    And every time I wonder if the world is right
    End up in some disco, dancing all night

    Johnny played guitar, Jenny played bass
    Name of the band is The Human Race
    Everybody tell me have you heard
    Pop goes the world
     
  18. Like
    panCDCA got a reaction from ☙𝔼𝕩❧ for a status update, The kind you find in a secondhand store   
    The kind you find in a secondhand store
     
  19. Like
    panCDCA reacted to Adara for a status update,   
  20. Haha
    panCDCA got a reaction from SusanLouisa for a status update,   
  21. Like
    panCDCA got a reaction from Vaughan_Rarius for a status update, HEY IOWA AND KKKLINTON WALL STREET DEMS #GOFUCKYOURSELVES #BERNIE2020   
    HEY IOWA AND KKKLINTON WALL STREET DEMS #GOFUCKYOURSELVES #BERNIE2020 
     
     
  22. Like
    panCDCA got a reaction from Vaughan_Rarius for a status update, When love says goodbye... and then comes back and the magic is still as beautiful as   
    When love says goodbye... and then comes back and the magic is still as beautiful as before... you have found a love that has withstood the cruelest of tests... time.
  23. Like
    panCDCA reacted to SusanLouisa for a status update, Always a great time.   
    Always a great time.

  24. Like
    panCDCA reacted to Adara for a status update,   
  25. Like
    panCDCA got a reaction from Adara for a status update, When somebody else suffers, I suffer. And ONLY in giving them relief, do I find relie   
    When somebody else suffers, I suffer. And ONLY in giving them relief, do I find relief for myself. THIS is what being HUMAN means to me. Being human is NOT about having more than somebody else and being in comfort while someone suffers and I can do something about it.
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