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#1 DetoxDave

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Posted 26 April 2019 - 10:20 AM

I was a little surprised that my diary was removed altogther as a result of one post which broke the Terms of Service. Of course the moderators retain the right to delete whatever they like for whatever reason. It appears to me that there is a policy in use whereby whole threads are removed following a successful report. I made the report about the offensive post, so the removal of my thread has a delightful irony. If this is the case I would suggest that a clause is inserted into the terms and conditions to this effect.

 

The issue I actualy want to talk about is one that has appeared several times on the forums, namely that of men playing as women. Discussion so far appears to be of the form of two extremes: It is wrong and it doesn't matter, I believe the issue is much more nuanced that that. I must first lay my cards on the table. In general I have no objection to men playing as women, or any other gender. I think it unlikely that I would become involved in a sexual relationship with someone other than a woman. This is not because I have a problem with it, it's just that I have been a boring heterosexual all my life. I am unlikely to change at my age.

 

Individuals of whatever gender are at liberty to play as whatever gender they like, for whatever reason of which there are many. For example a man may want to try to experience that of a woman or a woman that of a man, an individual may be exploring the possibilities of life as a TG, they may be exploring their own sexuality and so on. I think this is to be encouraged.

 

The thing that does concern me is the possibility that a man might play as a woman so as to mislead people. I don't think this is a problem with casual sex but as soon as an ongoing sexual relationship develops a high degree of honesty is required for it to be truly successful. Sex is about communication and sharing, amongst other things, certainly over the long term.

 

I doubt I'm even getting anywhere near even scratching the surface of this issue in a short diary post. I like to believe that honesty is always the best policy in this. A man playing as a woman may tell a potential partner who has the choice of going ahead or not. A simple 'thanks but no thanks' is sufficient. There is no reason to be rude or offensive about it.

 

The key point I want to make is that this is a complex issue and that tact, consideration and honesty can go a long way to resolving any difficulties.



#2 LaylaK

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Posted 26 April 2019 - 03:27 PM

So what is that clause you'd like to see added to the terms and conditions ?



#3 DetoxDave

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Posted 26 April 2019 - 05:00 PM

A simple statement saying that the policy is to remove whole threads following a successful report would suffice.

#4 Mar Mohan

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Posted 26 April 2019 - 05:20 PM

http://3dxforum.com/...ommunity-rules/
They do not have to notify you of the actions they take, they just take them.  It is their forum and we are users who have signed an agreement agreeing to that fact.



#5 DetoxDave

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Posted 26 April 2019 - 05:35 PM

I was under the impression that i’d already said that.

#6 Coldheart

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Posted 26 April 2019 - 05:41 PM

Did you know discussing game administrators decisions involving the terms and conditions is also against the terms and conditions? Do not worry, I did not report it, but I bet someone else will, Dave.



#7 DetoxDave

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Posted 26 April 2019 - 09:27 PM

I thought I made it quite clear that the moderators have the authority to make whatever decisions they see fit in accordance with the terms and conditions. Make whatever you will of that.

#8 Coldheart

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Posted 26 April 2019 - 10:36 PM

Considering I was not bothered enough to report it, not much.



#9 Mar Mohan

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Posted 26 April 2019 - 10:53 PM

They don't have to put it into policy because it's already there with them having control over the forum as they own it.  They don't have to tell us anything, they just do it.  That is their choice, we can either accept it or not use the forum as we agreed to it when we signed up to use it.



#10 DetoxDave

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Posted 27 April 2019 - 09:51 AM

I agree the 3dxChat owners do not have to do anything if they don’t want to. The change to the Terms of Service that I suggest would help make moderator decisions more transparent to users. The only people who would object to that are those who have a vested interest in keeping such decisions obscure.

#11 Coldheart

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Posted 27 April 2019 - 09:57 AM

Invested interest in keeping things obscure?

You are starting to drift into the deep end again dude, you might want to try and paddle back some.

#12 DetoxDave

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Posted 27 April 2019 - 11:27 AM

I do believe that young Master Robert has come back to join us again. If you find what I say too deep you don't have to read it, or comment on it. Your post shows exactly where you stand on quite a minor, but useful in my opinion, issue.



#13 DetoxDave

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Posted 27 April 2019 - 11:55 AM

This is something that's been teasing away at me for a few days now. I gather that there are utilities available that reveal the general location of an IP address without neccesarily revealing the IP itself, or any other data. Given that one of our 'friends' techniques to cause trouble on the forums is to try to call in to question people's identity may I suggest that he tries using one of these utilities. He'll quickly find that my location is reported as Canterbury, which is wrong. I actually live nearer the coast than that. Based on what she has said Bridget's would be revealed as somewhere in South West England and SImon_M's would probably be revealed as somewhere near Flint, Michigan. The times he goes round liking posts very much suggests that he is in that time zone.



#14 Coldheart

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Posted 27 April 2019 - 01:37 PM

By Master Robert one could safely assume you mean RobT. Though it would be fun for me to let you think I am him, I will refrain from it for the sake of civility. However you posting his real life location of residence here in these forums, even if incorrect, and accusing him of being the owner of a banned account is a hefty violation of forum rules. You are not allowed to do that. As for my IP address, it says I am in Toronto. Never been there before, but I heard it is nice. Perhaps one day I will visit, but I doubt it.

 

Also, I did not mention anyone named Bridget in this topic, David. You did.

 

But my time has come to exit this diary, I wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors with 3DXChat old chap and may the sun shine warm upon your face. Good day sir.



#15 DetoxDave

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Posted 28 April 2019 - 03:13 PM

Point as near proven as is possible in this environment. You have shot yourself in the foot with this one, young man. Other evidence available is who 'likes' your posts. It is also interesding to note that when you complain about other people being the owners of banned accounts it is acceptable whereas when it is suggested you might be, then suddenly it become contrary to Terms and Conditions. You may be interested to know that Toronto is a fascinating city, I have some old photographic slides that my Father took when he visited on business. His diary entries from the time make the images come to life.

 

I agree that there isn't anything more to say on this topic. I think I might repost two posts from before - the fighting fascists one and the magic bus one. I've not done so yet because I feel they might lose their impact if I do and that I might not write them as well. The context to any forum activity will be different as well.

 

You may also be interested to note that saying somebody is a fascist as if it were a fact, as opposed to thinking they might be, is contrary to the Terms and Conditions. On two counts I believe. I believe this is why my last diary attempt was removed.

 

I thought this would be appropriate to post here as well.

 



#16 Mar Mohan

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Posted 28 April 2019 - 03:29 PM

I do believe that young Master Robert has come back to join us again. If you find what I say too deep you don't have to read it, or comment on it. Your post shows exactly where you stand on quite a minor, but useful in my opinion, issue.

 

 

This is something that's been teasing away at me for a few days now. I gather that there are utilities available that reveal the general location of an IP address without neccesarily revealing the IP itself, or any other data. Given that one of our 'friends' techniques to cause trouble on the forums is to try to call in to question people's identity may I suggest that he tries using one of these utilities. He'll quickly find that my location is reported as Canterbury, which is wrong. I actually live nearer the coast than that. Based on what she has said Bridget's would be revealed as somewhere in South West England and SImon_M's would probably be revealed as somewhere near Flint, Michigan. The times he goes round liking posts very much suggests that he is in that time zone.

 

 

Point as near proven as is possible in this environment. You have shot yourself in the foot with this one, young man. Other evidence available is who 'likes' your posts. It is also interesding to note that when you complain about other people being the owners of banned accounts it is acceptable whereas when it is suggested you might be, then suddenly it become contrary to Terms and Conditions. You may be interested to know that Toronto is a fascinating city, I have some old photographic slides that my Father took when he visited on business. His diary entries from the time make the images come to life.

 

I agree that there isn't anything more to say on this topic. I think I might repost two posts from before - the fighting fascists one and the magic bus one. I've not done so yet because I feel they might lose their impact if I do and that I might not write them as well. The context to any forum activity will be different as well.

 

You may also be interested to note that saying somebody is a fascist as if it were a fact, as opposed to thinking they might be, is contrary to the Terms and Conditions. On two counts I believe. I believe this is why my last diary attempt was removed.

 

I thought this would be appropriate to post here as well.

 

I hate to break it to you but Coldheart isn't RobT.  What part of he's no longer on the forum don't you all understand.  He's left because he was tired of you and others thinking you can say and do whatever you want and get away with it.  Such as you attacking me on another thread because I was only giving my perspective as a woman and you stated to the person I shouldn't be used.  You assume what I support or don't support but clearly have no fucking clue about me at all.  You know assumption is the mother of all fuck-ups.  There's one problem, I don't assume, I love hard facts those of which you can't provide and never will because it doesn't exist.  It's time for you to drop the animosity that you have and move the fuck on.  I can tell you this, when people we know actually tell others who the person is because of the shit they've pulled and don't agree with, goes to show you that you don't have the friends you think you have. Countless accounts because you feel entitled to be on here doesn't mean you are, if you're banned for whatever reason, you're banned, accept it and move on.  No one is entitled and never will be.

Adding it does show that I'm quoting DetoxDave but when it's posted it doesn't show the name.  Now it does, go figure.


Edited by Mar Mohan, 28 April 2019 - 03:36 PM.


#17 DetoxDave

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Posted 28 April 2019 - 05:03 PM

I didn't actually say he is, I said I believe him to be. There's a is quite a difference. If I had said he was it would be stated as a fact and therefore contrary to Terms of Serivce. Saying I believe him to be is my opinion and expressed as an opinion. I think under the Terms of Service we are allowed opinions. What we are not allowed to do is to make false statements as if they are fact.

 

I'm making an addition here. I think I have been quite clear in all my posts that any opinions I have expressed are just that and not statements of fact. The distinction allows me to challenge opinions that I believe are unnacceptable without directly attacking the individual. This is of fundamental importance in any sort of discussion.



#18 Coldheart

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Posted 28 April 2019 - 05:45 PM

Just one last quick question. What does a freighter from the 1970s sinking in the Lake Superior have to do with any of this? One more thing, I have never fired a weapon in my entire life and never will, a personal choice for me only, so shooting myself in the foot is nearly impossible. Moving on.

#19 DetoxDave

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Posted 28 April 2019 - 08:22 PM

The Great Lakes, the state of Michigan is adjacent, as is Toronto. I do have an additional interest because the incident has several explanations, the song suggests that the Edmund Fitzgerald had been overladen or that there was some confusion over the Plimsoll Mark. I think Gordon Lightfoot changed the lyrics when it was discovered that this wasn't the case. There remain several explanations for the tragedy, however.

 

I am glad that you can say in public that you have no intention of firing a weapon, and that you never have done. That is something we have in common. I do not think I had suggested you might have, possibley you take the phrase 'shooting yourself in the foot' too literally. Just in case you hadn't worked it out.

 

https://dictionary.c...elf-in-the-foot



#20 Coldheart

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Posted 28 April 2019 - 08:37 PM

Ok you do realize who you refer to as Master Robert served in the military. If I am not mistaken, he was one of the soldiers who chased Moses and his people as they attempted to flee Egypt.


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