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Would you leave 3dx if...


Guest Eclipse

Would you leave 3dx if...  

57 members have voted

  1. 1. If you were in a committed relationship (head over heels in love or married) in Real Life, would you continue here in 3dx?

    • No
      23
    • Yes I would continue but, would not tell my partner
      5
    • Yes I would continue and yes I would tell my partner
      4
    • Yes I would continue and would tell my partner and wouldn't mind if they joined too
      27


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Nope...to me it'd be like cheating. Even if I didn't get up to anything naughty in game I wouldn't like it if I had a partner who went on an adult chat and I didn't...and if we both wanted to then why wouldn't we just play for real.

 

I get how it works for distance relationships in rl and that's cute...and maybe to indulge some fantasies together makes sense but I think for me I'd quit.

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I am not going to vote in this poll at the moment, because none of the answers fit my situation. And I know for a fact that there are others like me, who would probably prefer to answer:

 

I am in a committed relationship in real life and I have reasons for remaining so. But I haven't had sex with my partner in a very long time, so as far as I am concerned, what I do here is none of my partner's business.

 

Sad but true.

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Guest DJ_ELECTRO

I would be in a relationship I would not be here, or we'd be together here, it would still be the possibility, only here enjoy! I could not feel likely. no there is sure to do better together than to be here.

 
Loyalty and honesty is still the alpha and omega
 
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I'm very interested in the results of this poll, mainly just because I'm a very curious person.  :D 

 

But I think what it will tell is a lot more about the difference in people's world-views, especially around sexuality and relationships.

 

There's obviously an overwhelming majority of people who believe that commitment to one partner has to include some kind of exclusivity when it comes to sexuality, and maybe even affection in general. Like, if you have a significant other, you aren't supposed to participate sexually with anyone else, and maybe not even show a certain amount of non-sexual affection to anyone other than that partner.

 

I personally believe that's counter to our nature as human beings. I won't go as far as to say that everyone who believes that is fooling themselves or giving into societal pressure; I'll concede that for some very small subset of people, singular coupling fulfills them completely and they might never have a want or need to explore beyond what they have with their partner. But I think the genuine, legitimate cases of that are probably really, really rare. Human beings are naturally curious, exploratory beings, with strong sexual urges, and being arbitrarily locked into an exclusive sexual partnership just castrates a lot of our creativity and natural curiosity, at least for most of us. I think most of us go along with it because we're thought from as far back as we can remember that monogamy is morally correct, that loving more than one person must subtract from the love we feel for each one of them individually, and that love itself has to fall into some specific definition.

 

Most of this is based around judeo-christian philosophy, or other similar religious teachings. But there are societies in which sexuality isn't limited by definition to one partner at a time, and in general, these societies see far fewer cases of rape and sexual assault, murder, etc. And to me that's pretty strong evidence that we bring a lot of hardship upon ourselves by trying to live to a forced and artificial standard that simply doesn't fit our nature as sexual, nurturing, affectionate and living beings.

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I'm very interested in the results of this poll, mainly just because I'm a very curious person.  :D 

 

But I think what it will tell is a lot more about the difference in people's world-views, especially around sexuality and relationships.

 

There's obviously an overwhelming majority of people who believe that commitment to one partner has to include some kind of exclusivity when it comes to sexuality, and maybe even affection in general. Like, if you have a significant other, you aren't supposed to participate sexually with anyone else, and maybe not even show a certain amount of non-sexual affection to anyone other than that partner.

 

I personally believe that's counter to our nature as human beings. I won't go as far as to say that everyone who believes that is fooling themselves or giving into societal pressure; I'll concede that for some very small subset of people, singular coupling fulfills them completely and they might never have a want or need to explore beyond what they have with their partner. But I think the genuine, legitimate cases of that are probably really, really rare. Human beings are naturally curious, exploratory beings, with strong sexual urges, and being arbitrarily locked into an exclusive sexual partnership just castrates a lot of our creativity and natural curiosity, at least for most of us. I think most of us go along with it because we're thought from as far back as we can remember that monogamy is morally correct, that loving more than one person must subtract from the love we feel for each one of them individually, and that love itself has to fall into some specific definition.

 

Most of this is based around judeo-christian philosophy, or other similar religious teachings. But there are societies in which sexuality isn't limited by definition to one partner at a time, and in general, these societies see far fewer cases of rape and sexual assault, murder, etc. And to me that's pretty strong evidence that we bring a lot of hardship upon ourselves by trying to live to a forced and artificial standard that simply doesn't fit our nature as sexual, nurturing, affectionate and living beings.

Well said.

 

I am known to sometimes * blushes * to be brutally honest.  I have not trouble approaching the subject of human sexuality with almost anyone.   So, I voted for the 4th option.  I have real life friends that "play" here and in one case it has actually deepened our friendship.   As they say,  the more the merrier  ;)

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Guest AlexanderGold

I'm very interested in the results of this poll, mainly just because I'm a very curious person.  :D 

 

But I think what it will tell is a lot more about the difference in people's world-views, especially around sexuality and relationships.

 

There's obviously an overwhelming majority of people who believe that commitment to one partner has to include some kind of exclusivity when it comes to sexuality, and maybe even affection in general. Like, if you have a significant other, you aren't supposed to participate sexually with anyone else, and maybe not even show a certain amount of non-sexual affection to anyone other than that partner.

 

I personally believe that's counter to our nature as human beings. I won't go as far as to say that everyone who believes that is fooling themselves or giving into societal pressure; I'll concede that for some very small subset of people, singular coupling fulfills them completely and they might never have a want or need to explore beyond what they have with their partner. But I think the genuine, legitimate cases of that are probably really, really rare. Human beings are naturally curious, exploratory beings, with strong sexual urges, and being arbitrarily locked into an exclusive sexual partnership just castrates a lot of our creativity and natural curiosity, at least for most of us. I think most of us go along with it because we're thought from as far back as we can remember that monogamy is morally correct, that loving more than one person must subtract from the love we feel for each one of them individually, and that love itself has to fall into some specific definition.

 

Most of this is based around judeo-christian philosophy, or other similar religious teachings. But there are societies in which sexuality isn't limited by definition to one partner at a time, and in general, these societies see far fewer cases of rape and sexual assault, murder, etc. And to me that's pretty strong evidence that we bring a lot of hardship upon ourselves by trying to live to a forced and artificial standard that simply doesn't fit our nature as sexual, nurturing, affectionate and living beings.

 

Well said lala. I couldn't have responded as well as this.
 
I think it's the emotional marriage between two people (whether you are officially married or not) that is the subject of this question. I agree with the idea that we should be able to allow our partners to sexually express themselves outside of the marriage, and it happens all the time. In finding someone else even remotely attractive you are already expressing yourself sexually outside of your main relationship. So where do you draw the line? This is where you either discuss with your main partner and agree or you go to your own line without telling them. 
 
There is the idea that a certain amount of emotional commitment can be about emotional dependency or in other words your partner makes you feel good about yourself. In this case when your partner does something to endanger that, you feel betrayed and frightened of losing part of yourself or what makes you feel good about yourself. 
 
I prefer a different approach which can be summed up by the quote...
 
“If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it is yours. If it doesn’t, it never was.”
 
So if you love someone this way you want them express themselves freely and be all that they can be without you imposing restrictions. It's harder of course because our egos are always trying to kick in and get some affirmation. If you can achieve this though the rewards are fantastic. There is nothing better than seeing the person you love discover something about themselves and seeing the glow of life in their eyes when it happens.
 
Sorry I have got a little off subject now. How you think is not always going to be how your partner thinks. In the end though you want to maintain the relationship you have so you either will want to do it within both yours and their boundaries, or go it alone and hope they don't find out. 
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Very well written Lala, I highly doubt I could have said it any better at all.

 

I might have a slightly different world view of the overarching intricacies of monogamous relationships because of the country I live in. With the myriad different cultures here, 11 to be exact, we have a veritable minefield of relationship and societal differences to take into consideration.

 

The best and most interesting example I can use in fact is our very own president, Jacob Zuma. He is of the Zulu nation and as such their culture is intrinsically bound to their belief that many wives shows strength, prowess and leadership and as such our president has multiple wives. An odd example in the context of the rather pointed questions by Eclipse, but a sound one I think in the scheme of things because of the fact that he loves each one equally but with a penchant to gravitate towards the younger ones for pleasure. This is in complete and total contrast to the beliefs of most Christian or Christian based religions where the One Man for One Woman culture, or full and total monogamy, is woven into our very fabric. For the most part the bulk actually stay on this path and live long, fulfilling lives with their significant other and these relationships are things of beauty, and there is something profound about two people having lived their entire lives together sharing their experiences, hardships, fortuitous periods and so forth. That being said there are those that are not able to foster a relationship with just one person be it married or otherwise and they seek multiple companionships which some of us construe to be cheating and in their minds, due to societal expectance and pressure, they also see it as cheating on their significant other but they are unable to help themselves and a mix of chemistry, animal tendencies and raw lust in some cases causes them to attempt to juggle multiple partners without that knowledge being evident to said partners. In the most extreme cases, some resort to so called Bigamy and marry multiple partners, reminiscent of certain African, Asian and Arab cultures, obviously seen as a crime in most western cultures, again because of the interwoven belief that One Man for One Woman is the correct way.

 

This is not to say, as you said above, that some small portion of the population is not ultimately and totally fulfilled by one partner for their life. I will expand further on my belief that it is far larger than a small subset, however they are not totally fulfilled and there is always that nagging thought that there might be something else out there, something to scratch an itch and they often consider it but there is never any follow-through and they remain in their relationships forever wandering what might have been or have happened had they acted. I also firmly believe there are settlers, people that are in a committed relationship just to have it, perhaps to keep themselves in check or perhaps as a form of security, while always wanting to do more with more people. Finally there are those that will never form any attachment and will literally shift from partner to partner never feeling totally satisfied.

 

A number of my friends know these but I was in a relationship, married in fact, and I was content however there was less contentedness in my partner and as such, actively seeking another partner was going on behind my back which came to fruition and I happened to walk in on this one such day. There is a lot more to that story but the fact remains that mentally we were two very different people, one being happy, the other wanting more or multiple or… I do not really know as I walked out and never looked back. Before this happened I would have been firmly in the cluster of people that believe you have one partner and that is it, however my thinking has changed slowly over the years as I continually ponder what happened. I honestly still want to be with somebody because above all I hate being lonely but I am also in no hurry to cement myself into a relationship until I have satisfied an urge that grew in me to experience multiple partners, which may sound horrible but it is how I feel and I personally feel that I am entitled to be exactly how I want to be with what happened and nobody will change my mind at present.

 

However should I find somebody and it becomes quite serious, I will sit down with them and be honest and open, telling them about 3DX and getting their honest opinion and should they want me to leave, I will, unless they see it as interesting and decide to join. The one key in everything is honesty and I am the opposite of Sage where I would want my significant other to know everything, no secrets, because secrecy does have its drawbacks, far larger ones than honesty ever would.

 

Mikey

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I do this since I be here :D

My partner know it and plays the game too ;) Now not so much as after the start but she look always a bit when I play...

After my start here, we met us here in game... The reason was or is, I be very much on traveling and a meeting with her in game was very cool and ...

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I would keep returning here, of that I am sure. There are things that certain individuals can give me here that I am not sure a partner in real life can. I mean, I am sure I would base a partner on sexual compatibility but there is a big gap in men who enjoy Femdom and anal play. I have yet to find a partner who is completely 100% ok with, they’ve been willing to experiment but found that it wasn’t their thing. Well, it’s MY thing and for the most part that’s what I use 3DXChat for, finding men who enjoy the same thing.

 

I would be completely honest with my partner; it is useless to hide something such as this. Eventually you will get caught but in the end, I am going to my partners bed and if 3DXChat makes my lovemaking more exciting, then no one will be complaining!  ;)  *laughs*

 

At this point, I am single so it really doesn’t matter but I wanted to weigh in on the subject :)

 

*Blows kiss*

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So I have thought long and hard on this.

 

I totally agree with MIkey, what's new. If I met someone in real life, I think I would share this with them and let them decide and see what it is. We can discuss it and make a decision from there. If after they see what it is and see how I interact with others, if he wanted me to leave I would. If he wanted to join me, I would be ok with that as well.

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Too many people agree with me, I need to be more controversial it seems :P

 

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First off, why is the Topic Starter "Eclipse" not telling what she would do?

 

If I would get into a nice relationship with Mr.Perfect in real life, then I would leave 3DX because

we would go out in real life and having a great time together. If I was head over heels in love then

this decision would affect any game immediality, not just a sex game. I can imagine playing with

my partner an online game together but it would't be a sex game as I do prefer the real thing.

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Lala and Mikey very well said indeed. Now here is yet another take on it. My life experiences have shown me that there is nothing wrong with having multiple partners or a singular one both ways are a fine way to live out your days. The thing that I would say is that if these are more than flings with people and you do infact love the partners then it is best to be a team as it were if it is a commitment to each. That you are there for them then it has to be taken seriously not something like a casual fling that you may dump for making you upset or disagreeing with you but if you do love someone you should be willing to fight for them to take the knocks with the good a bit. First off monogamy as it's most base and purest sense is a partnership or team of two people to be there for the other on both sides of this.To have the other's back under any circumstances be it good bad or even horrific. To care for, respect, nurture, and sometimes help rein them in. As for multiple partners the team simply has more than the two. The musketeers said it best. "All for one and one for all!" In this multiple partners team it is usually best if they all explore their feeling for one another and urges together as a cohesive unit. Not to say they have to always play in a group sometimes it's best for one on one time to help nurture and deepen feelings already apparent. But more importantly to be honest, open communication with those you care for and about is pivotal in any relationship. Those will help insure that hurt feelings are kept to a minimum. As we all know it is the hurt feelings that can destroy even the best of relationships, be it friends or beloved partners we are all subject to the feelings of others and our own. Your mind rules your reality but it's your heart that rules your soul.

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