Story to Apology Topic

[Yvonny]

Before reading if the person this is including wants this to be deleted , just write me a pm...

 

 

Well 3DX its me once again , from the Apology topic  a few months back ...

 

Seemingly , i haven´t learned one bit from the Mistakes i made 

im refering to this Topic and the mistakes 

 

http://3dxforum.com/index.php?/topic/6550-apology/?hl=apology

 

Well lets approach this in another way this time..

It all started as i meet a Person (not naming that one though due to privacy)

i felt connected to her the first time i ever talked to her, we started to talk abit each and every day , even had a few sexual encounters Well as we grew closer to each other we realized we enjoy the same things such as Music Genre and DJ´s we even had similarities in Videogames we played :)So as we went on with being Friends i had the Idea to become her submissive , cuz that´s how im naturally, so she needed some time to talk about it with her fiance.

As the time came she agreed to it and she collared me on the 3rd of July 2017 , i still remember that that Day cuz it made me so happy and proud ..so a few days and weeks passed , i was trying to learn , since it was my first time being a pet for someone , in those weeks i evolved into a clingy , green and big Jealous Monster , i tried to spend way more time with her then she was giving me , i tried to talk to her all day everyday...I got jealous when she was with others , even tried to ruin her fun and also stalked her when she wasn´t with me ....(yeah not proud of that)

But as a Month and a few weeks passed it was bound to happen she decided to release me as a Pet , that well set me off , i turned worse , i stalked her even more , and spammed her with Gifts at some days ,and also still tried to ruin her Fun .. We then ended up stop talking to each other , and i got put on ignore for awhile , she then one day gave me another Opportunity , that i was happy to get but i fucked up as quick as it came ,what ended up with me on Ignore again , at this Point i decided to make a new Account to stalk her on since i was on Ignore , she figured out quickly that it was me and i literally just wasted Money , i did that 3 times with new accounts (yeah call me stupid )

 

So a few Weeks back she decided that i was allowed to talk to her on Forums through Pm´s. 

But thats all i got only talk , i wish i wouldve gotten more but i took what i could , we had conversations everyday mostly talking bout Music , shared Music with eachother , talked about Games and all that , till i decided to go back to my behaviour and stalk and try to ruin her fun again , what now put me on ignore till this day ...

 

Well a quick side note i basically did this all cuz i grew feelings for her and fell in Love , while i kept doing the bad things ...

 

 

If the Person this is about reads it , i know this won´t make undone what i did , nor does it make it okay for me to have done this , I literally don´t know what to do anymore , you are on my mind alot , and due to my own Fuck ups i ended up being slightly depressed over this , and needed to let this out ..

. 

I just wish i could be with you and just be friends even though all the things i did towards you ...

 

Sincerly Apologize to you (wish i could say and do more then just say Sorry to you ) .You honestly mean the World to me even though i really didn´t show that to you with my behaviour and doings all along.. Maybe afterall im really just a Disappointment... I have no right to , but i Miss you

 

 

-Yours truly Yvonny 

[RobSouthOfTheRiver]

I understand if you are not looking for a response from anyone else...and I understand if my response is too simplistic for your situation...but it's clear this person you love makes you feel good about yourself and you feel like you need her. What you must try and do for both your sakes is the following.

 

Firstly forgive yourself for what has happened; this is the most important thing. Secondly find ways to love yourself. From your post I am sure you are a lovely person at heart. Finally and I know it's cliché but If you love this person you must set her free to be all that she can be.

 

I wish you luck.

[RobSouthOfTheRiver]

I wanted to add something...

 

YOU deserve to grow and flourish like all living things. It will take time but you cannot be free while longing for someone else. The happiness you want is inside you. The hard part is finding it, but you can do it.

[Xanar]

I can only repeat what I usually say to everyone: Jealousy can be a killer in this game.

 

We're human beings and for some it's normal to log out and forget about all the things that happend in 3DX - For others it's a real thing; Real feelings. You feel connected to the person you're talking to.

 

I remember how I felt jealousy for the first time: I logged in and saw my partner doing naughty stuff on the beach. I was really mad. That was 3 years ago.

 

Yvonny - I would suggest you to log out if you get jealous. There are many things you can do in RL. Jealousy is totally normal but if we act mean towards others, we should controll ourself. I do that by logging out and playing videogames.

[Yvonny]

This just fits perfectly 

 

[Yvonny]

I don't know what i expected from this...i just posted a pointless Thread with this, Sorry for wasting your Time everyone...

[Yvonny]

It´s just like something is missing in my Day , i have no one to share Music with , and talk about it like we could

 

[Yvonny]

MEMORIES

Edited November 25, 2021 by Yvonny

[panCDCA]

Interesting. I can relate to a certain degree, especially at present. This game is a double edged sword for those of us who have esteem issues (which I believe most people here, if honest, would admit to). Here there are people that will give us the attention we seek out and because of that, we tend to at times put more value on them than they do on us, so we transfer our ideas of what we have to that person or those people. I admittedly have done this and still am having a hard time not doing it. This is where the bad part of the sword comes through and guts us. We tend to get mad when we feel slighted (and the object we feel slighted us, doesn't even realize there is an issue is as serious to us as it is, because we transferred our unattainable expectations of how they should feel and act towards us without realizing it.

When this happens, we realize we are wrong, but in our pain and desire to get the other to validate our feelings (even though all they can do is acknowledge they understand we feel that way, but somehow because we were on a "level" with them we expect more. This leads to more craziness and irrationality.

The important thing that we must remember but is hardest to, is no one can value us more than we value ourselves, no one can truly ever love us as much as we need to love ourselves. It is easy for us to believe someone else does when they give us attention and respect we may otherwise be missing. However, we must remember that they can only love us as much as we love ourselves and that our self esteem and value is NOT based on how they feel about us (whether real or imagined) but how we feel about ourselves.

Now, my irrational way of doing this is to nuke the bridge not just burn it and make my apology and cut them from my life. Nuking the bridge to me is important because that does not allow me to go back to them and possibly allow those feelings to regrow. (I know it is an irrational rationalization, but it helps me. 

Also, I try to be very up front with how I do have a dark side and that if they start to see it and feel insecure, to tell me. Sometimes they see it and tell me then it is up to me to listen or ignore... sadly they get so lost in my attention as well they don't see it coming or ignore the warnings as well. The ONLY answer is open and honest communication and this place can be very hard to find that. I do believe it is there.

Anyway, I hope this helped, it was actually therapeutic to write out and think about.

Peace be with you, Yvo and please realize you are worth more than the value you have given that person to put on you.