leaving 3dx and private messages

[alisonn]

Hey people!

 

i'll jump right in to it cause i tend to write posts that are way too long

 

since my last 2 posts in the diaries section of the forums, i have been getting tonnnssss of PM's of people wanting to have a chat about 3dx, and about the discomfort they feel in playing 3dx, or just bad experiences they have had recently.

I absolutely love it, and i love to chat and try to help anyone as best i can, i really put a lot of effort in to it, as people have done for me when times were tough. 

but i've come to realise that there are a few things that i repeat quite often, and i thought it'd be a good idea to post that here, so others who are having a bit of trouble and don't want/dare to chat can read it too  

 

SO!

there's a lot of people having trouble with 3dx, with RL friends, and with RL relationships. 

i'll just say a few quick things about each of these things that have helped me and a few others allong the way, and and maybe it can help you too!

 

3dx

3dx can be addicting, dangerous, and draining. but only if you let it take over. 

if you go as far as to think you're  in a situation where it's having an effect on your RL situation, it's time to take a break. 

and i know that can be very hard, but the more you stay away, the easier it gets. 

how? do "anything" else. 

sign up for sports, play other games, pick up an entirely new hobby, even if it's on you don't like. 

just stay away for a while, no matter how.

 

RL friends:

this is something most people have asked me questions about, and i have been saying a lot of the same things to all of them. 

i've had the same problem as quite a few people, "i don't have many/any friends, so i come to 3dx". 

but in the end, what i never did was "making actual appointments to see my friends" 

what can you do: 

in my mind, i had about 2 friends, but then i went through my contact list on my phone and facebook, started chatting with some facebook friends or through telegram/whatsapp, and i just started asking people to meet up again. 

even people i haven't seen in 3/4/5 years, i just asked "what's up"  and started chatting a bit, and then i actually made appointments with them. 

a big reason people have issues with friends, is that they're not in highschool anymore, and people are moving on with their lives by: work, college, moving, etc.

the time of randomly hanging out with people is over after you graduate from highschool, and the older and more busy you get, the more you'll need to make appointments to hang out with people. 

but you do need to contact them, and put effort in to it. 

that's something i never "really"  did, i was always just waiting for someone else to contact me.

 

RL relationships:

quite a few people have told me about their pain about being single, and trust me when i say "i have been there".

before i met my partner i have now, i had been single for around 9 years, and even though it's not "that" long, it still hurt like hell as all kinds of media platforms keep reminding you of how you're not a whole human if you're not in a relationship (which ofcourse is bullshit). 

what to do: 

i can write on and on and onnn about this subject, so i will keep it short and just write down a small list.

if you have questions, you can always pm me !

 

1. wait (that's an important one. never look for love...just wait) 

2. dating sites (it's a fact that in 2017, 1 in every 4 relationships, started online.) 

3. new hobby

4. new work (if you can, like a summer job, if you're in college) 

5. volunteer work 

6. hang out with friends, and friends of friends. broaden your inner circle. 

7. don't stick to routine life, try new things! 

 

those are things that really helped me, and it's not just for romantic relationships. 

these are things that help you with finding friends too, and getting out of your comfort zone. 

it's going to change your life if you try, but it will take a lot of effort. 

i never said it'd be easy, but it sure is worth it. 

 

questions:

if you think any of this was usefull, and you have a more specific question, please send me a PM, i really would love it to help you if i can in any way. 

 

 

leaving 3dx 

ok this is a little something for my friends, and i suppose to clear the air a bit. 

but i have temporarily left 3dx. 

idk if or when i'll be back, but i'll pop in for a few minutes every now and then. 

other than that, i will be away from 3dx, because RL has been treating me soooo amazing!

 

i have more friends, i have a partner, i am almost gratuating, my job is looking better than ever.

life is finally what i want it to be. 

this in combination with the fact that 3dx is just not what it used to be to me. 

it's a place filled with adult children that ruin any amazing experiences for the more mature people around. 

 

so it's time to leave the highschool mentality of 3dx life behind, and move in to the adult world. 

because we all know how 3dx tends to subtract a few years from the way you really are :') 

never have i ever been to a place with so much fake friends, lying, cheating, drama, and just....childish behavior.

cussing, gossiping, freaking out over who said what and when, while no one should care or be involved in it. 

it's...just highschool :') 

 

i still love my friends though, and i will be here on the forums for chats, and discord, or telegram. 

if you don't have me on there...well what's keeping you, come ask me !  

 

it has been a wild, crazy, awesome, ride for me, and my god will i miss it. 

 

but, for now, this is alisonn signing off. 

 

have fun my friends! 

enjoy, laugh, party, and see you perhaps in the future! 

 

love, Alisonn <3

[LaylaK]

I'm happy for you that your real life has gotten on track again !

I wish you all the happiness and good luck for the future and please shed a tear from time to time for your friends in 3dx, we'll do the same for you

Kiss,

Layla

[Rob.]

Doing the same, I had a friend that chose to play victim and multiple people painted me as the bad guy. I actually started thinking it, found myself a shot of rum in one hand, knife near by PTSD kicking in so hell will wait a lil longer. Did some alcohol abuse, down the drain it went, people if you think i am a bad guy stay away.I wont miss you, if you think that asshole that lied about me is a saint go fuck him and stay the fuck away from me when i return. Fact is i come on this game to relax my mind, not fuck with people because i have a crappy personality and play a wimpy victim. Those who know me heard the shit and did nothing fuck off, don't need you. Those that did, when i return lets have fun. 

As for RL, PTSD, constant depression no medication other than weight lifting, you would be amazed how much stress exercise takes away. A 12 foot dropped prevented me from doing what i used to do to clear my mind, release stress and actually be consider a male version of eye candy. Which is what i am doing, restarting lifting, pick things up, put things down, look past war and give life hell. Cause i have fun.  

[Lilcal]

Im always sorry to hear that anyone is leaving.. Hope that you both find what your looking for.     Will see you when you return Rob!  Hugss and enjoy your break!

[MeiLing]

Take care Rob. I will miss you Kiss

[panCDCA]

Hey people!

 

i'll jump right in to it cause i tend to write posts that are way too long

 

since my last 2 posts in the diaries section of the forums, i have been getting tonnnssss of PM's of people wanting to have a chat about 3dx, and about the discomfort they feel in playing 3dx, or just bad experiences they have had recently.

I absolutely love it, and i love to chat and try to help anyone as best i can, i really put a lot of effort in to it, as people have done for me when times were tough. 

but i've come to realise that there are a few things that i repeat quite often, and i thought it'd be a good idea to post that here, so others who are having a bit of trouble and don't want/dare to chat can read it too

 

SO!

there's a lot of people having trouble with 3dx, with RL friends, and with RL relationships. 

i'll just say a few quick things about each of these things that have helped me and a few others allong the way, and and maybe it can help you too!

 

3dx

3dx can be addicting, dangerous, and draining. but only if you let it take over. 

if you go as far as to think you're  in a situation where it's having an effect on your RL situation, it's time to take a break. 

and i know that can be very hard, but the more you stay away, the easier it gets. 

how? do "anything" else. 

sign up for sports, play other games, pick up an entirely new hobby, even if it's on you don't like. 

just stay away for a while, no matter how.

 

RL friends:

this is something most people have asked me questions about, and i have been saying a lot of the same things to all of them. 

i've had the same problem as quite a few people, "i don't have many/any friends, so i come to 3dx". 

but in the end, what i never did was "making actual appointments to see my friends" 

what can you do: 

in my mind, i had about 2 friends, but then i went through my contact list on my phone and facebook, started chatting with some facebook friends or through telegram/whatsapp, and i just started asking people to meet up again. 

even people i haven't seen in 3/4/5 years, i just asked "what's up"  and started chatting a bit, and then i actually made appointments with them. 

a big reason people have issues with friends, is that they're not in highschool anymore, and people are moving on with their lives by: work, college, moving, etc.

the time of randomly hanging out with people is over after you graduate from highschool, and the older and more busy you get, the more you'll need to make appointments to hang out with people. 

but you do need to contact them, and put effort in to it. 

that's something i never "really"  did, i was always just waiting for someone else to contact me.

 

RL relationships:

quite a few people have told me about their pain about being single, and trust me when i say "i have been there".

before i met my partner i have now, i had been single for around 9 years, and even though it's not "that" long, it still hurt like hell as all kinds of media platforms keep reminding you of how you're not a whole human if you're not in a relationship (which ofcourse is bullshit). 

what to do: 

i can write on and on and onnn about this subject, so i will keep it short and just write down a small list.

if you have questions, you can always pm me !

 

1. wait (that's an important one. never look for love...just wait) 

2. dating sites (it's a fact that in 2017, 1 in every 4 relationships, started online.) 

3. new hobby

4. new work (if you can, like a summer job, if you're in college) 

5. volunteer work 

6. hang out with friends, and friends of friends. broaden your inner circle. 

7. don't stick to routine life, try new things! 

 

those are things that really helped me, and it's not just for romantic relationships. 

these are things that help you with finding friends too, and getting out of your comfort zone. 

it's going to change your life if you try, but it will take a lot of effort. 

i never said it'd be easy, but it sure is worth it. 

 

questions:

if you think any of this was usefull, and you have a more specific question, please send me a PM, i really would love it to help you if i can in any way. 

 

 

leaving 3dx

ok this is a little something for my friends, and i suppose to clear the air a bit. 

but i have temporarily left 3dx. 

idk if or when i'll be back, but i'll pop in for a few minutes every now and then. 

other than that, i will be away from 3dx, because RL has been treating me soooo amazing!

 

i have more friends, i have a partner, i am almost gratuating, my job is looking better than ever.

life is finally what i want it to be. 

this in combination with the fact that 3dx is just not what it used to be to me. 

it's a place filled with adult children that ruin any amazing experiences for the more mature people around. 

 

so it's time to leave the highschool mentality of 3dx life behind, and move in to the adult world. 

because we all know how 3dx tends to subtract a few years from the way you really are :') 

never have i ever been to a place with so much fake friends, lying, cheating, drama, and just....childish behavior.

cussing, gossiping, freaking out over who said what and when, while no one should care or be involved in it. 

it's...just highschool :') 

 

i still love my friends though, and i will be here on the forums for chats, and discord, or telegram. 

if you don't have me on there...well what's keeping you, come ask me !

 

it has been a wild, crazy, awesome, ride for me, and my god will i miss it. 

 

but, for now, this is alisonn signing off. 

 

have fun my friends! 

enjoy, laugh, party, and see you perhaps in the future! 

 

love, Alisonn <3

 

Be well, be happy and may love surround you.

 

I quoted your post because it was well written, has great advice. I also wanted to add:

 

I do think the "high school mentality" comes from people who strive for it. Don't tell someone you are someone you're not thinking you will get away with it, the truth eventually comes out. MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS, if the relationship has nothing to do with you stay the Hell out of it. Console friends, yes, but don't take sides or think you can "hit that now". You are only begging for drama. BUT most importantly, to stay away from drama, do NOT let others dictate to you what you think of someone, especially in a relationship. There are those that are miserable with themselves and they don't want to see others happy so they try to create issues between people. 

 

If you are trying to make friends, stay away from those who flat out state this is only a game. In some cases, that's a defense, to keep from getting hurt BUT if that is how they look at it how are they going to view you as a friend?  

 

My experience is not that great but I have my say and blocking works great till things cool down. I have learned the hard way to trust very few and not to read more into something than the other. You do this by communicating.

 

Communicate, only give what the other puts in and if you feel that person wants more and you don't talk it out it could just be a misunderstanding or it could be you have the same feelings just didn't know how to express them.

 

"Love" is easy when in the heat of passion but do you communicate in other ways? I am a hopeless romantic, I admit it. I think people can meet online in platforms like this and fall in love and truly care and desire to be together in real life. The caveat, to that though, is again communication and honesty. If you care then talk about more than just sex, see what interests you have in common and what you both see and want in your futures. 

 

Anyway Alisonn, again my best to you and it sounds like you need shades, your future is so bright.