I cant believe I just read through all 32 pages of this topic.
To add in my 2 cents, I used to care about knowing the people I was interacting with were actual women. At one point I used to insist on cam to cam, if the other person wanted to involve themselves with me sexually. I was new/'er to games like this, so I was a little shy. Being a newly out lesbian at the time, I wanted to make sure who I involved myself with romantically, was an actual woman (yes even within a virtual world). So I can get / relate why some people want to know the actual sex of the person irl.
BUT ... as time went on, and almost a few years later within the game, I honestly stopped caring. If I see a woman avatar, I just said in my head, "its a woman". If the person could make me laugh, and feel good, and I felt like I was getting my $$$ worth, I was happy.
In a nutshell, people shouldn't really care who is who behind the monitor. Just base it off what you see on screen. If you want to take things further (skype etc), then that is on you.
Anyway, Im kind of with RobT, I knew him in world, and I agree with what he is saying here. If people leave this game, it is hardly because of the community. More often then not, its because of the lack of content, and lack of communication from the development team.