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The THings Men Do Wrong in 3dx Chat


Guest Ciera

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Here's an example of the kind of thing that really pisses me off. I really don't think I need to explain why.

 

Him: Hi whore, do you have a boyfriend

Me: puts him on iggie straight away

 

Come on guys do you seriously think that is a way of creating a positive impression?

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Guest Trance

These moronic patterns;

 

#1

Cold invite for room - declined

Cold invite for partner - declined

PM “hi hru” - ignored

Conclusion = twat

 

#2

Stands nearby for long minutes

Drive by PM “hi hru” as they then walk off

Conclusion = wtf, twat

 

#3

Walks right up so you know they’re a mouth breather

PM’s something awful like “hey bb want to fuck u hard dark bitch”

Conclusion = fuck off and die in a fire

 

Yes these have happened, surprised some of you can drag your knuckles off the floor to reach the keypad.

Luckily some of you are alright ;)

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Guys, you should understand that, while this is a simulation of the real world, things that may work there generally won't work here. 


 


For instance: Telling me that I'm pretty.  In the real world, that might be a positive thing for you to say.  Here, while it's not a negative, it's really pretty neutral.  We're all playing the same avatars here, and it's hard to make them unattractive.  Saying, "you look great" is about as emotionally endearing as saying, "the weather is nice today."


 


A better way to go about it is, "I like the clothes you picked out."  At least that's something I actively did.  But, even then, save it for people who have actually put thought into their outfits.  When I'm dancing in Sin Club, I always wear a short black dress and knee-high black boots.  Yeah, the outfit is hot, but I obviously didn't put much thought into it.  So, telling me that you like my outfit, while again not a negative, isn't much of a positive either.  On the other hand, I've seen people with colorful, clever outfits that go together really well.  They obviously put thought into what they were wearing.  And, in general, they'll appreciate you noticing that they did.


 


Better still, "I really like your 4th Avi Pic.  The dragon holding the teddy bear is cute."  Again, if it's something the lady put thought into or interests her, talking about it is a positive.  Also, it means you took the time to at least look at the pictures in her profile, which suggests you're not just rapid-fire hitting on every female in the room.


 


Even better still, "Your profile says you ride motocross.  Wow, that's intense."  First, this shows that you took the time to read the profile, which is a definite plus.  Second, if someone puts something in her profile, it's almost definitely something that interests her.  Talking about stuff we're interested in will always be better than most of the typical lines ("how are you?", "you look sexy tonight", "damn, you're so hot that if you stepped in a puddle, it'd turn to steam").


 


Try talking in Local chat.  Most people don't pay any attention to Local.  But, that means you really stand out to those of us who do.


 


But, above all, try to be interesting.  For many women, interesting turns into arousal much more quickly than physical things do.


 


Tlaera

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In short, treat women like intelligent human beings. Most men get this and put the effort in. The ones who don’t rather mess things up for everybody. I had a great convo with a guy who picked up on something in my profile which I put there for all the wrong reasons and rather showed me up, in a nice way, because his knowledge of that branch of mathematics was better than mine.

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A friend of mine from my uni days and her hubby called in for a quick visit last night on her way through to a town near here.

The story of how these guys met is kind of cute and I thought I would share it with you guys in here.

 

There use to be a chicken shop at the beach down there we use to go to quite often.

Once I was in there with a couple of friends and this guy came in, got some food and then came over to us.

He asked politely if he could sit with us and explained that his friends outside said they weren't hungry, and that he wanted to see if they suddenly got hungry if they saw him sitting with us.

We let him and his friends didn't take long to come in and join in, we spent time with them that day and had fun, they were nice guys.

 

When we got back I told some other friends about our day, one was the girl who visited last night.

A couple of weeks after this she was in that same chicken shop with a couple of other friends.

A guy got something to eat and came up to them and asked the same question, do they mind if he sits with them and that he wanted to see how long it would take his friends to suddenly get hungry.

She remembered his name from when I had told her about him, but she played along for a while without saying anything.

Later after his friends had come in and they had been talking for a while she let them know.

Funny thing was, the other guys thought he was really smooth and just able to walk up to girls and meet them.

They knew nothing about how he was saying he wanted to see how long it would take them to come in.

But it use to work, and one of those guys is now married to my friend.

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Great posts Twiggy and Mikey.

 

Here's another that defies belief:-

 

Him: Hi

Me:I don't normally talk to people with empty profiles, sorry. (I only replied because his name was vaguely Irish)

Him: Fuck off - he then buggers off somewhere

 

A few days later

Him: Hi

Me: I told you the other day that I don't normally chat to people with empty profiles and you told me to fuck off.

Him: Fuck off - he then buggers off somewhere

 

A few weeks later - so he has obviously renewed his sub.

Him: Hi

Me: Notices he still hasn't put anything in his profile decides not to reply

Him: Buggers off somewhere

 

The other day - I noticed him in Sin and he still hasn't put anything in his profile. It seems really weird that somebody is willing to pay for a game they don't seem to want to engage with in any way. He didn't notice me so he's avoided my iggie list for now.

 

Now here's a nice counterpoint.

 

DIfferent guy: Hi

Me: Looks at his profile and decides he's a noob. Intuition or something

Me: Oh hi, you have an empty profile, no pics and no gifts. You must be a noob. (He had an interesting name too)

DIfferent guy: Hi, yes. I only joined about half an hour ago. How long of you been here.

Me: Here on the beach or playing the game :-)

DIfferent guy: lol, playing the game I suppose

Me: Oh ages, btw if you'll find it easier meeting people if you put together something in your profile.

DIfferent guy: I'm not sure what to say.

Me: From my point of view it's better if you say something about yourself, maybe something with a hook to encourage conversation. Basically convince people you're not a total wanker.

DIfferent guy: Is it OK to be a bit of one?

 

and so on with an interesting convo about mutual interests, stuff that might be fun to go in a profile and making bitchy comments about some of the profiles of some of the people on the beach.

 

I saw him a few days later and he'd written a really nice profile so I had to PM him and ask if it had worked. Of course it had and he was meeting interesting people and had got a few gifts.

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  • 2 weeks later...

 

Guys, you should understand that, while this is a simulation of the real world, things that may work there generally won't work here. 

 

For instance: Telling me that I'm pretty.  In the real world, that might be a positive thing for you to say.  Here, while it's not a negative, it's really pretty neutral.  We're all playing the same avatars here, and it's hard to make them unattractive.  Saying, "you look great" is about as emotionally endearing as saying, "the weather is nice today."

 

A better way to go about it is, "I like the clothes you picked out."  At least that's something I actively did.  But, even then, save it for people who have actually put thought into their outfits.  When I'm dancing in Sin Club, I always wear a short black dress and knee-high black boots.  Yeah, the outfit is hot, but I obviously didn't put much thought into it.  So, telling me that you like my outfit, while again not a negative, isn't much of a positive either.  On the other hand, I've seen people with colorful, clever outfits that go together really well.  They obviously put thought into what they were wearing.  And, in general, they'll appreciate you noticing that they did.

 

Better still, "I really like your 4th Avi Pic.  The dragon holding the teddy bear is cute."  Again, if it's something the lady put thought into or interests her, talking about it is a positive.  Also, it means you took the time to at least look at the pictures in her profile, which suggests you're not just rapid-fire hitting on every female in the room.

 

Even better still, "Your profile says you ride motocross.  Wow, that's intense."  First, this shows that you took the time to read the profile, which is a definite plus.  Second, if someone puts something in her profile, it's almost definitely something that interests her.  Talking about stuff we're interested in will always be better than most of the typical lines ("how are you?", "you look sexy tonight", "damn, you're so hot that if you stepped in a puddle, it'd turn to steam").

 

Try talking in Local chat.  Most people don't pay any attention to Local.  But, that means you really stand out to those of us who do.

 

But, above all, try to be interesting.  For many women, interesting turns into arousal much more quickly than physical things do.

 

Tlaera

 

 

Ladies, this is how you should talk to us "men" in the game.

 

Unless he is disrespectful and isn't willing to listen, then he deserves to be ignored. I wont speak for the entire male population, but for some of us, It cant be learned if no one is willing to teach. World Editor is a prime example of how easy we can communicate on subjects and have a delightful experience getting to know someone. I think its the sexual element that gets in the way.  To many neurons firing in the brain as the endorphins rush through the body!

 

It feels good when the conversation is fluid... but how?  No expectations or judgment, which is why most conversations end up in disaster. Granted, if its not an interesting conversation, the anticipation wont build and the arousal goes flat, but the principle still applies to everyone! Expectations get in the way don't they, like running with your shoes untied.

 

If I find you attractive, then I want to draw you in, get you to relax and have a good time.  How am I supposed to do that if I don't know who you are?  That's what profiles were created for but that's only to get things started. Once were talking, its no secret that most interactions will only end in failure but more than most could end in friendship. I say that taking into account there are guys who only objectify women but its their loss and not yours.

 

I wont lie..  I'm a life long, Friend Zoner, I mean someone has to be there to catch the ball.  Pass it to me,.. over here,... IM OPEN,....

Just because I cant keep focus in the moment doesn't mean I don't know the rules. I mean, this is a game but isn't life one big game?

 

 

......no animals were harmed in the making of this post.

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Personally, I think Jim has definitely touched on a good point there.

 

I think a lot of it is about respect, or a lack thereof, for the persin controlling / speaking for the avatar on the other end.

 

Again, not being able to speak for others in the game, this is only an opinion, but I think more of us males have to realize that she has choices: what fantasy she is interested in, who she is attracted to in that moment, what she wants from this game. Simply because it is a sex game, there is no obligation. I think some men can miss this, from what I read.

 

I know for myself, I look at womem online in a certain regard, and that is that they have come online for a) a social aspect or B) to bring to some sort of life a certain fantasy. Am I going to be able to offer scintellating conversation every time? Is it going to be a fantasy we share, am I going to be able to play into it well each time? Are we always going to hit it off? Probably not if we are both real, thinking people, and that's ok.

 

This being said, I alao agree with Jim that it is about communication, about talking.

 

I think that it is no great mystery that there is likely no man out there that understands what a woman wants, and we cannot treat each woman as the same, they are not. So, a good starting point is for both people to entertain the very key part of this game: being social, open minded, and talking a bit.

 

I also expect the knuckle draggers would, hopefully, over time realize certain techniques don't work and re evaluate thing. Maybe I put too much faith in people?

 

Anyway, my thoughts as a card carrying penis society member (no pun intended).

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You got me there Perimede, and that might go on for a few more ......................eons, before men catch up with the conversation.

To answer your question, lets consider what Athene said earlier.

 

Let's be real, it's mainly men playing this game, lol. Even "women" ingame are usually men irl. So likelihood when a woman does the whole "mmm" *pose swap 5x* it's still probably a dude.

 

In the end, both sexes can/do do it. Don't know if only 1 can be worse than the other. I know that in my experience men are usually more aggressive to try and take what they want and when denied, get really pissed. That's not really a "feminine" thing women do. Just my thoughts.

 

 

It's a case of Nature vs Nurture, where the guys in question are not being disciplined for their behavior, but rather rewarded for it. Once the rewards (for say sending a Cold invite) outweigh the risk, then that becomes "his" habit. "He" does this to every women; because, sooner or later someone will accept.

 

What Perimede said earlier on this thread is a perfect example:

Some guy: Hi

Perimede: I don't normally talk to people with empty profiles, sorry. (I only replied because his name was vaguely Irish)

Some guy: Fuck off - he then buggers off somewhere

 

A few days later

Same guy: Hi

Perimede: I told you the other day that I don't normally chat to people with empty profiles and you told me to fuck off.

Same guy: Fuck off - he then buggers off somewhere

 

Perimede responded beautifully there. She was polite, got straight to the point and even said sorry; nevertheless, she were obviously dealing with a guy who doesn't respect women and wasn't willing to listen... or even remember her name from the day before... I mean come on dude.... wake up.... lol.

 

Lets just call it what is, this game should have a few disclosures.

........some assembly required........instructions sold separately.......batteries not included.

 

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Here is an example:

If a girl says she needs time, give it to her.  Respect her boundaries, don't follow her, create an alt to spy on her, talk trash on her when you're trying to get back with her.  Don't make her feel guilty for enjoying the game because you haven't moved on.  You can only push a woman so far before she says forget you and moves on completely.  Don't message her because she does something you don't like.  Don't make her feel as though you she's done something wrong when you're the one that lacked and were even told it.  It's all about communication, if you don't talk to them, they aren't going to talk to you.  Listen fully to what's been or being said and take responsibility for your own actions.

 

Same goes for women.

 

 

It's time to get with the program and move on..  Leave it in the past and enjoy the future.

Although we don't forget we can learn to not make the same mistakes in the future.

Added Note:  My post is about respect.  It's a suggestion for both men and women.  Respect is something that lacks in the game even when asked to have it.

Edited by Mar Mohan
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Let's go back to the beginning......  Here is where we started.....

 

This should be a chance to take an affectionate look at the things men do that achieve rather less than turning women on in game.

 

I know we bitch terribly about the, let's fuck' approach.

 

 It's meant to be fun and perhaps give men a few pointers as to how to make a women feel a little bit special, warm, fuzzy and sexy.

 

Obviously, we got caught up in the word.... "The Things Men Do "Wrong" in 3DXchat",  over and over and under again.

 

It's a powerful word isn't it?  How erotic is it, that simple word can change the way we feel or what we want!  If anything is true, all we "really" have here, (in this realm), are our words.  How many actions are in the game, and how many keys are on a keyboard?  How many combinations are there, of those keys, to create words that invigorate the soul and spark the senses?  When you see the words, can you feel your body react? The deluge of excitement and anticipation created just from words.  Are the words we speak meant to harm or heal?  The word I keep seeing hidden in the sub-text is "Shame".  Is that  the intention here, to make men feel ashamed, for being a man?  If so, then this isn't an open line of communication, but rather a guilt trip.  And honestly, it should be the same for everyone regardless of gender!  If you intend to make someone feel something,  well....  what would you like that feeling to be?  If someone intends to make you feel something,  well.... what will you allow that intention to become?

 

So, lets start with words we use and go from there.

 

 

I love you.                 ~              I hate you.

I adore you.               ~             I despise you.

I enjoy you.               ~             I detest you.

I embrace you.          ~             I abuse you.

I excite you.               ~             I annoy you.

I trust you.                 ~             I fear you.

I cherish you.            ~             I pity you.

I respect you.            ~             I loath you.

I allow you.                ~             I deny you.

I accept you              ~             I ignore you.

 

Which words do you respond to?    Which words do you want to hear?     Which words do you like to say?

You "see" what you want to "see".

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I don't think anybody wants to make men feel ashamed for being men, but ................................... those men who fail to get the idea that we, that is everybody of every gender, are all people and worth treating with common decency should be made to feel ashamed. Or, at least, made to feel that they should be a little more considerate. Those men who abuse their positions of trust or power ...........................................

 

Like they bugger it up for everybody, yeah

 

Ok, there are women who behave badly and abuse their positions of trust, but they are in the minority.

 

Having said all that - this thread was never intended to be serious, just a bit of fun. Maybe even a bit insightful.

 

People are complicated creatures and do some really stupid things from time to time. There's no harm in poking a little fun at each other as long as it stays as fun.

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