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my entire 3dx life, from start, to end


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#1 alisonn

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Posted 01 November 2017 - 06:12 AM

So.... i thought it'd be nice to write down my thoughts.

and everything that's happened in 3dx. 

the good and bad things. 

and what 3dx is all about ! 

 

just going to share my experiences and see where it all ends up.

 

i'll make titles to make sure you can sift through boring stuff you don't care about and only read the stuff you want to read :P

 

INTRODUCTION:

 

My name is alisonn (alice), and I've been on 3dx for a little over 3 years.

i think the exact date i joined this place was 20th of august 2014 because it was somewhere close to my birthday i remember. 

I've also been known in 3dx as  Nayomi, Naomie, and Mylana,. 

When i joined 3dx the only real reason i came over was because i thought it would be interesting to see what a place like this had to offer, and i love RP's so...1+1=2 i came here and wanted to RP with everyone. 

 

My first few months:

The first few months were great, i found a hand full of people that liked to play around, i had fun and we chatted a little.

nothing really interesting happened so after 3 months i took a break for 2 months, and later came back.

at this point this place was a game to me and it held no value at all.

What kept me playing were the constant updates and the fun people to chat to.

 

My first relationship:

the month i got together with my first ever GF in 3dx was in the month of may 2015.

it was with a girl named Cindy, whom i'll never forget.

she was a very sweet and kind soul that i'll always hold dear.

she grew on me for our long conversations and the fact that we shared so many hobbies. 

it was truly a great match.

sadly due to circumstances she left the game and i had to take a break from the game as well for a couple for weeks.

when i came back sadly i had never seen her again.

it wasn't a big problem for me, to me  this place was still little more than a game, and i moved on in a matter of hours.

 

The subtle change of  importance:

the summer vacation of 2015 hit me and when this happened i started to spend more and more time on this place.

the more time i spent here the more people and their personalities started to grow on me.

i started to see this as a problem so i made sure to never get truly close to anyone.

i always was "wild" and acted this way to make sure i came across as unreachable in a way.

This way i made sure that i didn't grow too attatached to the game or the people in it.

but i did realize that this place might be more than just a game.

 

The moment i realized this i even tried to stay away for as long as i could to see how it would affect me.

when school started again in september i told myself i wouldn't return but it lasted 3 weeks before i just needed to go back.

and from that moment it was clear to me that i was addicted to 3dx.

 

Christmas 2015:

around the time of november and december i started to really delve in to 3dx and make amazing friends.

I was absolutely loving it and i was excited every time i logged in to chat with my friends.

the more i came over the more "real"  it got for me and the more attached i became to my friends.

what i did is i put my RL self in to the avatar i was playing as, and that made everything real for me.

the people i became friends with did the same and we connected on a very personal level.

 

that is a very dangerous thing to do in a place like 3dx, but at this point i didn't realize that just yet, that came later.

what mattered is that i still somewhere in the back of my mind knew that this place was only a game and i had RL and this separated. 

but it didn't last long.

 

summer of 2016 (mylana, and alisonn) 

this is the point where everything changed completely for me.

Because i felt like i had too many random friends on my main avi, i decided to make a new avi.

this was Mylana.

I only added my closest friends to this account, but i never told anyone else who Mylana was or where she came from.

i also had an alt "alisonn"  whom i used only for rp's and random sex.

you could say alisonn was my slut account.

 

With Mylana i made sure to only att true friends to my avi.

the first person i met as Mylana was someone from my own country (the netherlands)  and we talked for a while and he introduced me to another friend who was also dutch.

these were my first 2 friends who i talked to from day to day.

 

as the weeks passed by my older friends started to leave 3dx and new ones kept coming over.

i still kept a barrier around myself trying not to let anyone get too close to me and i made sure that everyone saw me as someone who's always happy, never sad, always kind, warming, loving, and ready to help a friend whenever they need it.

i did this pretty well and i made sure that i kept track of what RL is and what 3dx is, but it started to slip away from me due to a lack of activity in RL.

 

the more i relaxed and the more free time i had the more i came over to 3dx and the more i hung out with my 3dx friends instead of my RL friends (not that i had those but still, you get the point).

 

christmas 2016:

oh boy....christmas.

for some reason this was the time where i met my closest and best friends i could ever have hoped for.

i won't name them without their permission of course but i think they know who they are when i say it was around Christmas.

 

Mylana made the same mistake as the naomi's did.

there were too many friends i didn't care about, and i spent so much time on alisonn just to slut around and made so many friends doing it, that alisonn simply turned out to be my main avi.

it jsut happened like that for some reason, so i deleted Mylana and moved myself over to alisonn.

 

sinclub became my go to place and i hung out there every single time i logged in to 3dx.

it became like an escape from reality for me, something like a second home.

i felt safe there, i knew people, i knew where i was, what i had, and i could do what i want, and say what i want.

it was perfect....a little too perfect. 

i became so attached to that place and to 3dx that my guard started to fade away more and more.

the people i cared for started to overtake my RL friends and things i cared for in RL. 

i stopped caring about school, i stopped caring about internships, it all became less important than my friends.

all i wanted to do is hang out with them because i got attention that i always wanted in RL but never got. 

3dx showed me what friendship truly is and how nice it feels to hang out and talk and do fun things together...to feel wanted as a friend.

 

it's at this point i truly started to believe and see that this place is not a game.

it's virtual, digital yes of course, but the way you treat it is what makes it a game or not.

if you go around handing out colds to people then yes it might as well be a game, but if you talk, emotionally connect, and share intimacy with other individuals at the other end of the line, then no...no it's not a game.

you're emotionally connecting with people whether it's through an avatar or not, these are real people, and you're really affecting them.

not only mentally and emotionally, but if you get really attached, it can also be physically.

people fall in love, cry, hate, laugh, and so on through this place.

it's not a game, it's a utility to express yourself in a way you otherwise can't. 

this place called 3dx, is digital and fake, but the people behind the monitor are very real, and people don't underestimate how much emotional weight such a place can hold.

the connections you make are the same as they are outside of the digital world. 

if not, there would be no drama.

 

but i still had my RL to take care of, which was simply mandatory to survive and because it was just...school and work etc.

not something you just give up on.

 

i slowly fell in love with a girl named Lucy for a couple of months, but for some reason she had left 3dx not too long after.

it was a shame but nothing i was extremely sad about

 

graduation and the start of summer 2017:

the downfall...

In june of this year i graduated for the 1st half of my education and received my degree in the field of psychology. (which is ironic when you read the next part)

It left me with 3 months of summer vacation, no plans, and only a few days of work a week.

i came on 3dx one day and it basically became one long day of 3dx.

 

i logged on and i had a great time at first, i spend hour after hour talking with friends, hanging out, sharing youtube video's and doing all these amazing things.

the problem was i was doing these things 5 hours a day....then 6....7.....8 hours....9 ?!...10 !!

and if you think i would realize that this was unhealthy and beginning to become a problem, you are gravely mistaken.

i spent at least 8 hours every day on 3dx from june till the end of august.

3dx has at this point officially taken over everything that i had in my RL.

what 3dx once was to me, is what my RL had become. 

 

one day i logged in and it seems i forgot to put my guard up, and i let someone slip past it (name= R) , breaking the guard completely, and taking me with it.

i fell in love with someone who turned out to be exclusive to someone else, not stating this beofrehand and for that, i got heartbroken.

for the first time ever in 3dx i was heartbroken and i shed a few tears over it.

but i thought nothing much of it and the day after i was perfectly fine.

 

3dx love and drama : 

one after the other, people started to confess their love to me.

in total i can name 11 people that have confessed to me that they wanted to be with me and i had to reject each and every one of them, because i was always going for someone else.

 

i wanted to be with another person not much longer after R.

his name was V.

for a long time we played games together, hung out every day and became really close.

he showed me about Telegram and we connected outside of 3dx, and this was great!

but because of someone else i became very jealous and everything just went to shit.

 

things went so bad that for 2 full weeks, i was sick, throwing up, losing weight, not eating, not sleeping, having nightmares, and much more nonsense.

I became physically unwell over 3dx.

yet still i didn't realize that this was going way way way too far.

 

while this was happening someone named K cared for me for a long time.

 

someone named A was chasing me for months arleady and i finally gave in and we got together.

but not long after we broke up because of RL issues and ofcourse this made me break down in tears again.

 

then i fell for K and i fought as hard as i possibly could for this person.

she made me the happiest person ever, showed me what it truly means to be loved, and my god was i happy.

if you could see the ecstasy with which i wrote to her you'd have understood.

we got together and for the most stupid mistake  we broke up shortly after.

i gained the same feeling as i did with V and starter feeling the need to throw up, not eat, and so on.

again, i got physically sick over 3dx, but i still kept spending 5,6,7,8 hours a day on there.

 

 

the conclusion:

because i've spent so much time on this place it consumed my entire life and it became my RL.

because of this my life has become a confusing mess of misplaced emotions and that's very bad.

i feel the need to stay far far away from this place, to make sure i get myself straight again before it ruins me completely.

 

what i have learned in a very hard and shitty way, is that 3dx is a very dangerous place.

you have to be careful not to get sucked in to it too much and when you do, be very very careful who you get attached to.

because it can show you beautiful things and take it all away the same day.

3dx is not a toy, it's not a game, it's something very serious, nearly as addictive as a drug, and you need to treat is with caution.

 

it's okay to have fun there, and it's perfectly fine to fall in love and such, just be careful it doesn't consume you.

limit yourself in time that you spend there.

because it has caused me to go insane for a long time.

i have cried so many tears over the loss of my love and my happiness, i couldn't begin to explain how painful the past 3/4 months have been.

they were a constant agony with a glimmer of hope and happiness at the end that just faded away as soon as you grab it in the palm of your hand.

 

i'm recovering just fine now, still slightly sad about the events that have happened but recovering very well.

 

HELP:

if you need to write down your thoughts as i have, or need someone to talk to, you can always come to me.

send me a PM, and i will try to reply to it if i can.

or send me a PM in 3dx if i'm around, i should be for another month at least.

 

if you know anyone that has issues similar to anything related to this story (love, friendship, addiction to 3dx, etc)  you can also tell them to pm me.

i really do like helping people if i can, i wish everyone to be happy, and i hope through sharing my story, i can let people know they're not alone in this world.

 

remember, alice is here for you if you need her<3

 

have a nice day everyone.

<3 !

i love you all.


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#2 Guest_Harmony_*

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Posted 01 November 2017 - 09:38 AM

A very interesting and brave post, particularly the conclusion. I'm glad you've drawn it to people's attention tbh.

 

Not so long ago - a couple of years or so - in fact, I now realise, two years to the day - I became involved in a 3dx relationship. I, too, was completely sucked in and absorbed by the experience and began to alter my rl pattern to accommodate being online, sharing what I believed to be something special with someone. RL would have to take a back seat, I was online 6 nights out of 7, messaging the other person all day every day. In no time at all, I was consumed as you were. Yet I, too, had started off 3dx with much less serious intentions and a more balanced approach to the game. Where it changed and went wrong, I don't know.

 

I used to think being that involved in a 'game' was some monumental weakness but I know now that it isn't at all - maybe it's an effort to plug a gap in rl, maybe its simply that the game could be addictive, maybe, just maybe, it could offer something that will last beyond the walls of 3dx for some people. All I know is that, by the Christmas 2015, my experience was over and I was desperately trying to retain a role in the game when I was emotionally and mentally broken. Ultimately I gave in, quit and returned for a time later with a slightly more balanced approach to online life.

 

Those feelings don't go away completely. I will never be able to admit it to my rl partner now, but this time of year still hurts because of what happened two years ago. Despite everything, a small part of my heart will always be reserved for my in-game partner, even though the experience was so brief.

 

So you're right to stay away. Don't even think about returning until you can fix that red line that says, 'No more relationships' and if there is any danger of crossing that line, don't resub.

 

3dx can be an emotional rollercoaster and it takes a strong mind to handle it if things go badly.


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#3 Moriko

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Posted 01 November 2017 - 10:34 AM

Good to you. I just started some months ago, usually i log in, run the game in the background, or try to talk with people, but most of them are dumb, can't speak english, idiots, they want be humiliated, or they have other mental problems, or they just have different taste of sex than mine. 99 % of my play time i just trying to connect but rarely can find anyone who is interesting, so it is boring like hell. And i don't want to waste more than an hour / day to search for a guality virtual sex... At least i found two people who are nice, but that was 2 months of searching :D



#4 Stellania

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Posted 01 November 2017 - 10:47 AM

That was an awesome post Alice.

I can relate, to some extent, to a few of your points.

I think alot of people will relate to it. People that had a similar approach to the game as you and, I must admit, myself.

I think approaching this "game" as such is the biggest mistake anyone can do. Sooner or later, It will sneak up on you, grab you emotionally and psychologically and then, without being melodramatic, try to, and sometimes succeed, hurt you as much as you're invested in it.

I like when you said you tried to keep everyone at a distance. I tried to do the same but, this game preys on our feelings/needs, I have/had one of the biggest armor to protect myself when I play but obviously my brain and heart are/were looking for something and I knew/hoped that someday someone would find that little opening in my armor.

I knew that one day, that person, the one cracking wide open this armor, would be THE one and I'm glad she found me.

All this to say that, this "game" attacks our senses as much as we let it, on various levels which are proprietary to each individual.

If you need to talk, about anything or everything, you know where to reach me.

Great post.

Love,

Stella
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#5 Briana

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Posted 01 November 2017 - 08:33 PM

It's really Hard to not being trapped emotionally when we have feelings for each other in game...no, no, better say in Virtual Reality, that is the right term to use to describe 3dxchat.


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#6 RobPathfinder

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Posted 01 November 2017 - 09:40 PM

This is a game but the people behind the Avis are real. But all ways keep real life as first. People see me in the game a lot, reason for it is work accident in late Dec 2015, I reinjured my back and neck so I don't move around a lot. Not because I don't want, rather, I can not. I also have the tendency of falling asleep and leaving the game on. Not one day passes that i do not hope that am able to move enough to get my life back but until then i am grateful to all the great people I met. Like you I met someone here that made this game mean more then a game. But our number one rule is real life is first. I miss her when she is not on, and can state I love the woman I met here. It does not mean i will make the relationship become RL, it just means that if she is on, i will try to be on, even when i am able to move around better, i will return for her and many other people that I love and care for here. But the rules and concepts still stays the same, real life is first, the people behind the avi are real, so respect and as much truth as i can give is given. I do not share my exact address, Skype or phone number with everyone just a few. As for RL picture, i want to photo shop  fu-manchu one day  :D , because to me this is VL a game to have fun in and i have way better hair than my avi.  :P  :ph34r:


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#7 DrGiggle

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Posted 02 November 2017 - 01:07 PM

I agree, this game effects your real life in a very dangerously way, I for myself canĀ“t belive how much time invest into this game, when beleving my razer recording software it says, 800hours, those that got counted before I had the software...

Oh well, I really enjoy for now the real life, true I value all the contacts I made within this game, but this escape became sometimes more a headache than the real life, anyway, I get going, life waits for me, wish you well.


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#8 alisonn

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Posted 02 November 2017 - 03:37 PM

thabk you all for your wonderful messages!
i have received a lot of private messages and your comments are lovely to read ^-^
i hope everyone is having a great time in 3dx!!

and well giggle i can relate to the shock you must have felt when you saw 800 hours, as mine says i've spent over 2000 >.<
but this is from more than a year though.
like, a year and a half or something.


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