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writing down my thoughts. (a story of love drama)

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#1 alisonn


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Posted 20 October 2017 - 04:48 AM

i have written a short blog here but due to circumstances i have deleted it.
the person involved got hurt by it and i feel like an absolute asshole for writing it.
i'm sorry.

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#2 Matrix


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Posted 20 October 2017 - 01:08 PM

you spoke from your heart.... nothing wrong with that. Take care.

#3 Skull



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Posted 20 October 2017 - 01:53 PM

Dear Alisonn,

You are very brave for posting such a heart filled example of what many people go through when they experience online *dating* or romantic involved relationships online. That being said , I want to sincerely offer my sympathy for all the things you have been through emotionally. Sadly this happens so often, because many forget there are actually a human being behind an avatar. Knowing you had a long history with this individual as a confidant and friend makes it all to surreal. First of all, know that it will SUCK but not forever. " It will suck harder then you thought possible, for longer then you thought possible... and then IT WILL END. You will get over it. You will realize that the rest of your life is STILL awesome!". Next, Embrace how much it actually sucks. It's a rite of passage, a growing experience, and you will be a better, stronger person for it. Life doesn't present too many opportunities to cry to sad movies, wear sweatpants for days on end, and sleep all day. Don't beat yourself up; ride that emotional roller coaster. and get yourself a breakup album (or youtube playlist) that you can cry and jam to. Always, Don't assume you should be "over this" already. Before my first serious relationship and I broke up I honestly did NOT realize how bad it would be - it's like someone died. And it's OK to treat it like that and to mourn. It sucks, and it'll hurt like hell, and you'll cry a lot for a WHILE. Just know it's OK to be sad , cry , and feel like you're broken into a million pieces on the floor. Even if it's months and months later and you think about it and start bawling all over again when you thought you were over it. That's OK. There's no "right way" to feel about a breakup and no "right time" to be completely fine and move on. But then at some point you'll be going to bed without crying once all day. And then you'll go a week without being sad about it. Then you'll realize it's all OK. and that'll be a GREAT DAY.  Just know that there is no actual "Science" to explain what you're going through right now. Feeling a bit obsessed over the situation is a natural reaction! Sure, it's not fair that you got your heart broken, but that doesn't mean you should give up hope. You are the woman who loved. Sometimes to much , sometimes at the wrong time, and sometimes the wrong person. But you must keep loving. The world outside is enchanting. Stop letting others steal your magic here! Really, the BEST is yet to come. "LOVE IS ALWAYS BEFORE YOU. LOVE IT!". If you could fall that hard for a person who is completely wrong for you, imagine how hard you can fall for the person who is perfect for you! But don't immediately try to find someone new to distract yourself. Being alone for a bit is ok. Take this opportunity to make some positive changes in your life. You don't need to reinvent yourself , but you do need to make "Healthier choices". Realize this is your life and that you have to decide what it would look like. Break bad habits and replace them with positive new ones. Be strong and try to steer clear of potentially "Not so healthy" behaviors. Communicate better from the start with others your desires. Set guidelines , the things you will not cross with others and stick to it. Spending time with positive friends will help. A lot! I personally have a system when I go through a break up. "I Purge".
I delete all conversations/pictures off everything that reminds me of that person. Share it with a close friend.. laugh giggle watch a netflix together. After you "purge" don't look back and move on. Listen to a lot of heartbreak songs and realize you are not alone. And Cry. Cry as much as you need to , until your eyes physiclaly cannot produce tears anymore. Take your time to get on your feet again and believe in the fact that eventually you will be OK again. Maybe not in days or weeks...but eventually you will feel OK. Don't shy away from all the things that remind you of them. Do what YOU want to do. ( Like avoiding a room because they are there) THE ONLY WAY TO MOVE PAST SOMETHING IS TO GO THROUGH IT! Don't avoid doing things you and your *Person* would do all the time. Don't stop listening to your favorite band just because they liked them too. Go and make new memories!  - YOU NEVER KNOW HOW STRONG YOU ARE, UNTIL BEING STRONG IS YOUR ONLY CHOICE. - Bob Marley :)  Always remember - Fight the urge to rekindle the flame! You are not together for a reason. Don't date... It may be tempting, especially when you still have feelings for that person or how much you wish for things to work out, but it ended or stopped for a reason the first time. Also, Don't have sex with them one last time! Don't go for that after-breakup hookup. It will only make it that much worse. Not only will you feel really shitty and used but it will rekindle those feelings that you are trying to get over to begin with. Recognize that you may still have A LOT to learn about yourself.
"NEVER LOVE ANYBODY WHO TREATS YOU LIKE YOU'RE ORDINARY" Keep in mind we all tend to remember the good times and overlook all the bad, so when you are reminiscing on the past, make sure to include the things you didn't care for about them, like how they said one thing but their actions spoke another. It may not feel like it now, but you're learning A LOT from this. You know , I wish I could tell my younger self that they will learn from heartbreak. That heartbreak in one relationship will eventually lead to growing as a person. Heartbreak is just life's way of preparing you for who you are ultimately meant to be with. Just don't let this turn you into a bitter and cynical mess, either. YOU MAY ENCOURNTER MANY DEFEATS BUT YOU MUST NOT BE DEFEATED. Don't let your past relationships dictate how you act in a new relationship. Being afraid to be yourself , to love, to trust another person will ruin your new relationships. Let the past go!. LOVE YOURSELF FIRST AND EVERYTHING ELSE FALLS INTO LINE. YOU REALLY HAVE TO LOVE YOURSELF TO GET ANYTHING DONE IN THIS WORLD. - Lucille Ball
Keep your head up High :) Hope this helped!

Sincerely , Skull ♥

#4 Briana


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Posted 20 October 2017 - 11:40 PM

Better PM'd her/he in this matter to avoid hurts .Public forum is not really the place to talk about personal issues with other member ,but ,it's just my personal opinion, I'm not here to judge anyone.

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